Debris of Shadows Book I: The Lies of the Sage

by Tony LaRocca

  “Careful, you’ll fall in.”

  He grinned, and looked up as Sigma sat alongside him. His smile turned into a look of horror as he saw how thin she was. “Oh my God,” he said, “are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she said. “It will take some time, but I’ll be back to my old self soon, don’t worry.”

  He took her hand. He could feel the bones beneath her skin. “You just disappeared,” he said. “I figured you had to leave… Did being with me like that do this to you?” She did not respond, her face impassive. He wrapped his arms around her. “Please forgive me, I had no idea.”

  She said nothing. His brain fumbled for the right words. Finally, he pointed into the cerulean waters. “Look at what we created.”

  Her jaw tightened. “It’s beautiful,” she said, her voice careful and even, “but I can’t ever see you again.”

  “Why?” he asked. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I had no idea merging would harm you like that, I really didn’t.”

  “It’s not that,” she said. She looked off into the horizon. The flaming eagles swirled overhead. “How do they fit into the picture?”

  “They’re adapting. The flames are fed by fat excreted from their pores. Their bodies are trying to find new ways of producing it. They’re feeding on the primates now, but the primates have developed a sort of slingshot device from vines and rocks. It’s mind–blowing.”

  Sigma shook her head. “Listen to me. You are wonderful, and what we shared was the most beautiful experience I’ve ever had. But in so many ways, you’re still a child. This is all some sort of game to you.”

  He swallowed. “I don’t understand,” he said. “This is what you wanted us to do.” She stood, pulling out of his arms. “Please, don’t do this.”

  “Matthew, stop.”

  “Please. Whatever it is, we can defeat it together.”

  “I said to stop; there are things that are more important. I have to go now.”

  “It’s my arm,” he said. “My arm frightens you.” He felt his throat tighten. “I promise never to remove it again.”

  Her eyes flashed with golden fire, narrowing to slits. “You just don’t get it.”

  “But after everything we shared, everything you asked me to—”

  Her fist shot out, exploding against his chest. Lightning coursed through his nervous system. His jaw locked, and he staggered back. He fell to the soil, his muscles writhing with uncontrollable spasms. He stared up at her, his mouth open.

  “You took advantage of me,” she said, her voice thick and raw. “I haven’t been myself, not my true self, since your imaginary insect attacked me—and you took advantage of me. You didn’t even care what it would do to me. How do you know the true me would have wanted you that way? I am a Cyleb, a soldier with a lifetime of service to my family—not your whore.”

  His breath was slow, and ragged. “You can’t really feel that way.”

  “Don’t you dare tell me what I feel.”

  “You…” He swallowed, pushing himself to his knees. “I never, ever treated you like a whore. How can you even say that? You joined with me. You saw everything inside me, and I could see within you. This was all what you asked for.”

  She screamed, a high wail that tore at his eardrums. Her face twisted and stretched into that of a WesMec mutant, her mouth elongating into an insect–like mandible. He lurched away, reaching for his arm—

  Instantly, she was her normal self again, her dark eyes lined with tears.

  “Not really,” she said, as if nothing had happened. “Inside, I was torn. Deep down, it was never what I really wanted. And now, you just want me to feel guilty for doing what’s best for me. I won’t let you.”

  It felt as if a boulder crushed his chest. “Something just happened,” he said. He climbed to his feet. “Sigma, I’m not trying to control you, or trick you, I love you. You… you just changed.”

  “Goodbye, Matthew,” she said. “Never speak to me again. Never seek me out, never try to find information about me.” The air folded around her, and she was gone, leaving him to stare at the luminescent waterfall in silence.

  He stood, shaking. He thought he should feel something: pain, anger, or fear. But he only felt dead, as if a part of him had been crushed, and ground into nothing. Maybe it was better that way. Besides, what were emotions, except reactions to stimuli? If he could create a new world here, why could he not recreate himself? He could force the Sage to filter—

  He heard a shimmering noise. Relief flooded through him as he turned. She had returned, she had changed her mind.

  “Hearts are horrible things to be broken,” Jaeger said. “I should know, I’ve had mine broken enough. It’s cruel, isn’t it? To give someone who loves you everything they never even knew they wanted, and then tear it all away?”

  Matthew’s mouth opened and closed. “Yes, sir,” he said at last.

  The ancient general bent, and scooped up a handful of the infested soil. He held it close for inspection. “This is fascinating,” he said. “What you can accomplish—you should be proud of yourself.”

  Matthew swallowed. “Thank you.”

  Jaeger straightened. “I know you have done your duty,” he said, “but you have performed it extremely well. We have a chance to go on, now, because of you.”

  Matthew nodded, his lips pressed together.

  “Do you know what the worst feeling is?” the general asked. “You might think it’s what you’re feeling right now, but that isn’t it. That feeling will go away in time.” He rubbed his hands together. “The worst feeling is not having a direction, not having purpose. Men spend their lives slaving away, thinking what they want is to fuck, to drink, to watch some virts, to play games, to be loved, to eat… but eventually, it all makes them feel empty. It only makes them yearn for more. They lie to themselves: I’m only twenty, there’s still time. Thirty, that’s not too bad, a lot of guys didn’t do anything before they were forty. I’m fifty, sixty, eighty… and before they know it, they’re on their death beds, shitting into a diaper, and wondering where it all had gone. What was it all for?”

  He gestured to the waterfall. “There is the perfect analogy of you. The water flows, spilling its energy into the river below. Its potential is awesome, but wasted, without purpose or form to shape it.”

  He tilted his head. “If you had complete freedom right now, if you had your body back, what would you do? Where would you go? What would you accomplish?”

  Matthew swallowed. “I don’t know,” he said at last.

  “War is upon us,” Jaeger said. “A war on two fronts: NorMec, and the West. I need you, soldier. Together, we can save them all.”

  “You have to believe me,” Matthew said, “Sigma’s mind has been corrupted. I saw—”

  “What you wanted to see,” Jaeger cut him off. “You wanted a reason to explain her behavior, so you projected one onto her.”

  Matthew looked at the swirling sky. His chest felt burned and raw. “I never imagined she would deliberately harm me,” he said. “How am I supposed to exist here, when I can feel her soul connected to mine? And my mother…” His voice trailed off. “She’s not one of us, but I can feel her as well. They’re both in horrible pain, because of me.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Turn the lights off, the ones illuminating my painting,” he said. “I don’t care what you do with it. I don’t want to be here.”

  “What if I told you there is another way?”

  Matthew’s shoulders slumped. “How?”

  The general waved his leathery hand, and the world around them changed. A dome of black glass—broken, jagged, and streaked with sapphire—arched overhead. Shafts of light shone through the cracks, illuminating the polished floor. Matthew slipped his hand into a beam. The light felt thick, like an oily gas that tickled his fingertips.

  “What is this place?” he asked.

  “The Cathedral of Dominic of Silos,” said Jaeger. “Another Sage, one of many in WesMec, which houses
the minds of citizens long dead.” He raised a hairless eyebrow. “Please, don’t tell me you thought you were the first.”

  Matthew’s eyes narrowed. “But how do they have the technology?” he asked. “I thought the West was a mutant–infested wasteland.”

  The general shrugged, almost imperceptibly. “There is only one way to find out.”

  Matthew turned his hand over, enjoying the prickling sensation of the light on his skin. “And I will be alone there?”

  “Not completely,” said Jaeger. “I will be there, from time to time, along with some of your brothers. When the time comes, the next generation will be yours to command. But yes, that Sage will be cut off from this one. You need never see nor feel Sigma or your mother again. Neither will be allowed access, I promise you.”

  “But first we have to take it.”

  The old man nodded. “You spoke of turning off your painting’s illumination. That actually would be necessary, until we can physically get you through enemy lines to an access point.” He stared into Matthew’s eyes, his face glowing like a diseased sun. “So, which shall it be?”

  He thought of his mother. He felt as if he were abandoning her, but he knew he had brought her horrible pain. And Sigma… perhaps they were right. Perhaps his mind had projected that creature onto her, and all he had ever done was harm her as well. Maybe, in the end, that was all his love was worth.

  “Okay,” he said. “Give me purpose.”

  Jaeger smiled, making his face all the more a fiery rictus, and vanished. Matthew looked at his creation as a chill settled over him. Perhaps it would feel like sleeping. Would he dream, with the lights turned off? He just hoped it would not—

  The thought froze as his mind was swallowed by darkness.

  To be continued in Debris of Shadows Book II.

  About the Author

  Tony LaRocca is a carbon–based life form, animator, occasional actor, U.S. Army veteran, blogger, karaoke crooner, electrician, and chronic doodler from Basking Ridge, New Jersey. He currently resides with his family in Queens, New York. Please visit him at www.EgotisticalProductions.com. He has lasagna.

  To any who have (cough) come across this book without purchasing it—except, of course, for promotional giveaways: If you have enjoyed reading it, may I suggest visiting Amazon and purchasing a copy, and/or perhaps leaving a review? Your tortured conscience and I thank you.

  Other Works

  False Idols and Other Short Stories

  “LaRocca has fashioned a collection of sci–fi and fantasy stories that should delight lovers of the genre.”

  “I highly recommend this book to everyone who is a fan of science fiction short stories.”

  “Tony LaRocca thoroughly brings you into his stories and paints vivid pictures of worlds both foreign and familiar.”

  A man tortured by pre–programmed nightmares, a steampunk bull, a planet of deadly insects and the idols they create and worship, a nightmare world caught between dimensions, ancient rivalries, lost souls, reality–weaving angels, and an army of demonic chickens. Nine science fiction short stories so amazing they will make your temporal lobe spontaneously combust!