Into Each Life

by Shelia E. Bell

  She looked stunned. She had totally forgotten. “Boys, I’m sorry. But I won’t be able to take you,” she regretted to tell them. “I’m sure your daddy will take you. And remember Sheerah and Alexis will be there.” Prodigal stopped drinking his coffee and pulled the newspaper down from his face. “And remember what I told you guys? I have a home and a job that’s waiting on me. I have to go home. Don’t you think that Diamond and Sassy miss their home too? And surely you know that Rocco wants to go home. They have cat and dog friends they miss, you know.”

  “But you promised to take us to the children’s day picnic,” Kaleb began screaming. “I don’t like you anymore. You broke your promise. You told Kevin and me that you loved us. I thought you loved us.” He ran out of the kitchen crying his heart out.

  Now it was Kevin’s turn. “That’s right. You promised. You promised. Mommy,” he screamed. “I want my mommy.” He took off running too. The silence was so thick you could cut the air with it.

  “Why are you doing this?” Prodigal asked. “I could understand if it was just me, and you decided to run. But it’s the boys too. They need you.”

  “Oh, is that right?” she responded angrily. “I know they do. Tell me something I don’t know. Like, do you need me? Answer that. Tell me why you turned away from me last night? Tell me that, Prodigal? I can’t take it any longer. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I have to leave.”

  It was Teary who ran out this time leaving Prodigal alone at the breakfast table.

  She dashed to her room, phoned the airlines and confirmed reservations for her and her pets to leave later that afternoon. At first she thought she should stay for the picnic, but doing that would only prolong the situation that much longer. And she didn’t want to face Sheerah either. The boys would hate her for walking out on them, but she believed in time they would come to understand and forgive her. After all, Prodigal obviously found in Sheerah someone he could freely love again and who in turn loved him and the twins. She had no right to be angry with him. She tried to convince herself that she should be ecstatic about him having someone special in his life.

  Prodigal went into the study and closed the heavy oak door behind him. He looked at Faith’s portrait over the mantle of the fireplace. And he began to cry. “Faith. What do I do? I want to live again. I want to love again. I want to laugh again. I don’t know which direction I’m headed in. Everything is just so different without you.” His tears flowed hard and freely. He wept from deep within his spirit.

  He didn’t know how long he had been crying when he began to think back to the night Faith died. He could see the beautiful aura around her. He saw the tender smile stretched softly and peacefully across her face. He could still feel the touch of her hand as she gingerly touched his lips, his eyes. He planted his head in his hands and stared at the picture of her sitting on his desk and pondered over the last words she had spoken to him.

  “Prodigal,” she whispered faintly. “I’ll always love you. Take good care of the boys and yourself.” He remembered the tears streaming down his face as he listened carefully to his dying love. “I want you to go on with your life. I want you to love again and laugh again. Promise me you will, sweetheart.”

  He heard himself tell his beloved Faith, “I promise.” He kissed her lips softly as the last breath escaped her body.

  He realized at that moment God had allowed the memory of that night to resurface in his mind at this very moment in time for a reason. He couldn’t lose Teary. He couldn’t let her go. He loved her. He moved as swiftly as he could on his prosthesis toward her room. The knock on the door came softly.

  “Teary,” he called. “May I come in?”

  “I’m, I’m busy packing right now. My flight leaves in a few hours and I have a lot to get done,” was her answer.

  “Teary, please. It’ll only take a few minutes.”

  “No, I don’t think so. Not right now anyway,” she answered, her heart aching to let him in. “There’s really nothing more for the two of us to talk about. Will you just tell the twins I’ll be out a little later to tell them goodbye?”

  “The Richards just came over and picked them up to carry them to the picnic.

  She yanked open the door.

  “You mean to tell me that you’re so angry at me that you would let the boys leave without telling me goodbye? You despise me that much? How dare you.” She slammed the door shut and hurriedly turned the lock.

  “Wait. Listen to me, Teary. I would never do that to you. I just didn’t know what time you were leaving. I guess I just didn’t want to believe that you really were leaving. I can get the boys back home before you go. I promise I will. But please let me in. You have to listen to what I have to say. We have to talk. We can’t part like this. Teary, please.”

  Still there was silence. Just as he turned to walk away, he heard the door open.

  Before he could say a word, she lashed out.

  “Look, last night was wrong,” she cried. The hurt was evident on her face, in her voice. “I know that. You know that. I’ve thought about it and you did right to pull away from me. I don’t know what I was thinking. I have no right to be angry with you at all. I want you and Sheerah to be happy. She’ll make you a good wife and she’ll be a good mother to Kevin and Kaleb. So let’s put what happened in the past and leave it there. And right now, I just want to finish my packing and have a chance to say goodbye to the boys before I go.”

  “But, but, Teary,” he started. “I…”

  “Please, don’t,” she sad, cutting him off. Let’s not mess this up any more than we already have. I think we should just try to say a civil goodbye to each other. I’ve already arranged for a taxi to pick me up. I’ll have it to run me by the church to tell the boys goodbye.” After saying that, she closed the door and her heart.

  ♦

  “Prodigal, what’s going on?” Sheerah asked over the phone. “Teary just left here. She looked quite upset.”

  “It’s a long story. One I don’t have time to explain.”

  “The twins are in an uproar too.” Sheerah didn’t know what to think. “She said she was on her way to the airport. She mumbled something about having to get back to Memphis. I thought she wasn’t leaving until Sunday.”

  “She wasn’t but something came up. We’ll talk later, Sheerah.”

  “Do you need me to come along?”

  “Thanks, but no. I’ll call you later.” He sped to the airport. When he arrived, he spotted Teary standing at the ticket counter.

  Prodigal walked up and positioned himself beside her. She looked at him. The hurt he’d brought into her life remained visible on her face.

  “Teary, don’t go. Don’t leave.” he pleaded.

  “You now that I have to,” she said barely looking at him. Retrieving her boarding pass from the ticket agent, she swiftly turned away from him.

  “Teary, listen. Don’t let things end like this.”

  “Prodigal, things are ending exactly the way they need to end. For your sake and for mine. Now look, I have to go. Tell the boys I love them,” she said, fighting back the tears.

  “Goodbye, Prodigal.” Teary began walking through the airport terminal in the direction of her boarding gate.

  Prodigal hung his head down and his eyes filled with water. He stood in the middle of the terminal, people passing him on all sides. He stood until Teary disappeared from his realm of view. Not once did she look back.

  Goodbye, Teary Fullalove, he said to himself. “Goodbye.”

  Chapter 40

  Sorry Isn’t Enough

  Months had passed since that ill-fated night. Upon returning to Memphis, Teary had spoken to Prodigal and the boys only briefly over the past few months, preferring to e-mail the twins instead. Her conversations with Prodigal were strained to say the least. For the first time since they’d known each other, they were at a loss for words.

  Prodigal hated the way things had played out between them. But if Teary
was going to ever have a chance at love, he felt that he needed to be out of her way. She’d already put her career, her way of life, everything, on hold for him and the boys and he wasn’t going to be selfish any longer. How could he have crossed over their boundary of friendship like he did that night? Time and time again, he asked himself that question. He definitely had to keep some space between them. It was the right thing to do, for Teary’s sake.

  On top of everything that occurred in Bonsai Bay, nothing had changed for Teary when she returned to Memphis as far as a relationship, and she liked it that way. When she wasn’t working, she was at church. She became an active part of the Greeter’s Ministry. Most Sundays and Wednesday nights she welcomed members as they came to church. Because of her increased involvement with the church, Teary felt herself regaining spiritual strength.

  She often thought about Prodigal but she refused to be the one to complicate his life again. She wanted Kevin and Kaleb to have a chance to really get to know Sheerah since she was going to be their stepmother. She wanted Prodigal to have a chance at loving again, something he couldn’t do as long as she was around. As for what had transpired between her and Prodigal, she tried to block it out of her mind.

  Teary and Patricia attended the Singles Ministry meetings faithfully instead of doing the club scene. She especially liked the fact that in the Singles Ministry no one was concerned about her past. They accepted her for who she was, nothing more, nothing less. She and Patricia volunteered to be planning coordinators for the Singles Ministry. They hosted Single Parents Night Out, weekend retreats, seminars, movie nights and a load of other delightful events. The ministry began to see a significant growth. Teary had other girlfriends, but they were too busy or involved with someone. She occasionally talked to Debra. As for Chelsia, she hadn’t seen or heard from her in ages. Along with church, Patricia and Teary’s friendship provided a much needed outlet for the both of them. They confided in each other without either of them judging or putting the other one down.

  ♦

  Prodigal soon began thinking long and hard about his relationship with Sheerah. He liked her, he liked her a lot. She was a great woman, a good mother and a fine Christian. Any man in his right mind would be crazy not to want her. So why hadn’t their relationship evolved past friendship? He knew why. But he didn’t want to face what was really going on inside of his head and heart. He pulled back the heavy tangerine comforter and pushed himself up in the bed. It was time for him to be true to himself.

  His thoughts turned toward Teary. While he cared deeply for Sheerah, with Teary things were different. He loved Teary. He didn’t know what he would do without her. She was one of the very few people he could still be himself with. She would never look down on him or think any less of him no matter what. He enjoyed having her in his life and the boys loved her too. There were many times he used to think about asking her to live with them, to actually quite her job and move to Bonsai Bay. That would have been totally selfish on my part, Prodigal concluded. He pulled the down comforter up close around his chest. It wouldn’t have been fair anyway for me to ask her to give up her career, her home or her life just because of me and the boys. But God, she’s so good with them.

  Prodigal tossed and turned. It was time he made a decision. And he had to make it soon. He couldn’t expect Sheerah to wait around on him to get his life in order. She had already gone out with a couple of other guys and the fact remained that he wanted Sheerah to be sure about her future as well. She’d spent nineteen years in a marriage that went sour and she reminded him that when and if she walked down the aisle again, it would be with the Lord’s blessings or not at all.

  Lord, I’ve managed to put myself in a jam once again and I need you to pull me out. He reached over his right side, flicked the light off on the nightstand and closed his eyes into what would be a fitful sleep.

  Chapter 41

  Making Up is Hard to Do

  “Patricia?” Teary asked one night while they were at Red Lobsters preparing to dine on the all you can eat shrimp special. “It’s been months since I’ve heard from Prodigal and the boys. I really miss Kevin and Kaleb. Do you think he and Sheerah are married now?”

  “I know you miss Kevin and Kaleb,” Patricia remarked. “From what you’ve told me, they’re wonderful boys. But let’s be for real here; face the music. You know who you really miss – Prodigal. I know you say the Sheerah chick is nice and all. That’s well and fine, but nice doesn’t cut it if the man doesn’t love her. So why don’t you just pick up the phone and call him? The two of you have been friends far too long to throw it away because of something that almost happened.”

  “I can’t, Patricia. I’m still too embarrassed. Anyway, he probably hates me. I behaved like a fool,” she said, turning beet red in the face over the thought. “Plus, he hasn’t bothered to call me either.”

  “Fool or no fool. You said he was a man that doesn’t hold grudges. From what you told me about him, he’s not the type that will look down on you. And another thing, you said he was the one who actually made the first move on you that night. So imagine how he must feel. He’s probably just as embarrassed as you are.”

  The waitress interrupted their conversation. “Hi, my name is Canton. I’ll be your server this evening.”

  Teary spoke up first. “We know what we’d like. We want the all you can eat shrimp special. I’d like mine fried.”

  “And I’d like mine grilled.” Patricia stated.

  “Anything else?” the waitress asked. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “A large sweet tea,” Teary said.

  Patricia glanced over the beverage side of the menu. “I’d like a virgin strawberry daiquiri, please.”

  “I’ll be back shortly with your orders,” the waitress said as she collected their menus and walked away.

  They returned to their conversation. “I’m still going to wait it out,” Teary said. “I’m going to see if he’s going to call.”

  A few minutes later the waitress returned with their drink orders. Patricia swirled the stirrer around in her glass and sipped on her daiquiri. “One of y’all needs to make a move, but suit yourself.”

  When the waitress brought their food, their vibrant conversation was replaced with the sound of satisfaction in the form of smacking lips.

  ♦

  After sending the waitress back for seconds and thirds, Teary wiped her mouth with the white cloth napkin and made a grunting sound. “Ooh, I’m full. That was so good.”

  “Yes it was. And this bread will make you run home and slap your momma, daddy and baby sister,” Patricia laughed. Teary responded in laughter too. “Now let’s get back to the subject at hand. What are you going to do about Prodigal?”

  “I’m not going to worry about him any more. That’s what I’m going to do. What God has for me is for me.”

  “Whatever, Teary. Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’m stuffed. Now I’m ready to go home and hit the sack.”

  “Ditto on that.” Teary took the last sip from her drink and then grabbed her purse and jacket.

  Patricia eyed the check. “It’s my turn to pay.” She pulled out a twenty, a ten and a five and placed it on top of the check.

  “Here’s the money for the tip,” Teary said laying ten dollars on top of the thirty-five. Now let’s get out of here.

  ♦

  Prodigal started working out at the gym quite frequently. He used his prosthesis continually and even had one of the special kinds that enabled him to run again. He had ran a few short marathons and had actually won a couple of trophies too.

  His relationship with Sheerah was going pretty good too Like him, Sheerah loved running too and the both of them ran several 5k and 10k races. He was feeling good about himself again. Occasionally he would meet some of the guys from the fire station or church for a movie or join them at a football game.

  Prodigal found himself closer to God and calling on Him for guidance and direction. His sense of self-wor
th returned. The anger and bitterness he once felt for the situations in his life were quickly dissipating. He no longer lashed out at God. Instead, he thanked God for keeping him sane through all the tragedy and sorrow he had experienced throughout his life. He felt stronger for it. Prodigal recalled the passage he had come to claim as his own in second Corinthians 12:9. ‘But he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.’

  He had mixed emotions and some way he was going to have to face what his heart already recognized. He was torn between starting something serious with Sheerah and submitting to the love he had for Teary. I’ve just got to bite the bullet and do it. Be up front with her about everything. He paced back and forth in his study. I’ve got to talk to Sheerah.

  He nervously dialed her number. “Sheerah, can you meet me at Starbucks for coffee later this afternoon, say around four?” Prodigal asked her when she answered.

  “I think four will be okay. I have to show a house at two thirty so I’ll meet you after that.”

  “Good, I want to talk to you about something.”

  “Is everything all right?” she sounded concerned at this point.

  “Yeah, of course. I’ll see you then.”

  A few minutes past four o’clock, Sheerah strolled into the Starbucks. Prodigal couldn’t conceal his delight in seeing her. She moved with the ease of a cat. Her lavender pinstripe pantsuit complemented her frame perfectly.

  He pulled out the chair for her as she approached. “Hey, how’s it going with you this afternoon?”

  She took her seat. “Good. The couple I showed the house too decided to make an offer on it.”

  “That’s great, Sheerah. What are you going to have? I’ll go and order it.”

  “I’ll have a tall Chai latte.”

  “One tall Chai latte coming up.” He moved cautiously through the crowd of customers, inching slowly to the counter. He returned several minutes later with the Chai and a Mocha Valencia. They shared casual conversation in between sips.