Hidden Love

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘I never knew you were a romantic, Nick,’ his sister said delightedly, obviously enjoying seeing her brother apparently bowed by love.

  ‘Neither did I,’ his voice was harsh now. ‘Where’s Richard?’ He changed the subject, seemingly tired of this veiled baiting of Rachel.

  How Rachel got through the next few days she never knew, although a lot of her time was spent looking for her wedding dress and making reception arrangements. She went to college as normal, while Nick took care of the actual ceremony, his manner coolly polite now, a little warmer in front of her parents, but not much more. Her parents seemed to put his behaviour down to restraint, even seemed to admire him for it.

  The only argument they had in the days preceding the wedding came when Rachel told him she had definitely decided to stay in England while he went to Boston.

  ‘You know damn well I only agreed to that in front of your parents,’ Nick scowled. ‘I have no intention of going to Boston and leaving my wife in England.’

  The two of them were spending the evening before the wedding at Nick’s flat, the first time they had really spent alone since they had made love.

  ‘I want to take my exams,’ Rachel said stubbornly.

  ‘But they aren’t important. As my wife—’

  ‘I may not be your wife for longer than the summer,’ she reminded him.

  His mouth twisted. ‘And if you aren’t you intend going on with your career?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Life has to go on, and all that.’

  ‘Yes,’ she flushed.

  ‘And in the meantime I have to be without my wife!’

  ‘You said yourself that you wouldn’t have time for me in Boston—’

  ‘I’d make time—for this.’ He pulled her roughly into his arms, his eyes glittering down at her in challenge before his mouth moved possessively over hers. He didn’t ask for a response, didn’t even seem to want one as his lips plundered hers, his hands moving know-ledgeably over her body, searching out her heaving breasts, probing the neckline of her blouse to capture one of them in his hands.

  His other hand moved up to unbutton the blouse, pushing it aside to reveal the lacy half-cups of her flesh-coloured bra, her breasts swelling temptingly as Nick’s head lowered, his lips heated against her skin.

  She didn’t want this, couldn’t let it happen. And yet she couldn’t stop it either; her hands were in the golden thickness of his hair as she held him to her, she gasped her pleasure as he possessed one taut nipple with the moist warmth of his mouth and tongue.

  It was all happening as it had last time—Nick was bending to pick her up. ‘No!’ she cried, pulling away from him.

  For a moment he looked dazed, then he straightened. ‘No,’ he agreed derisively, pushing her shaking hands away to finish the task of buttoning her blouse. ‘But I’d make time for that in Boston, Rachel,’ he drawled mockingly.

  She turned away, her movements jerky. ‘I’m not going.’

  He spun her round, his expression vicious. ‘I want you there!’

  ‘And I don’t want to go,’ she said dully.

  ‘Why?’ he demanded harshly. ‘I can assure you that our—marriage would not be impaired by my playing.’

  Delicate colour flooded her cheeks. But she knew she deserved his derision. She had responded to him, encouraged him, and he had been the one who regained control first after she had pulled away from him, her senses were still reeling, if she dared to admit it.

  ‘Those exams are important to me—’

  ‘More important than me?’

  As quickly as the colour had entered her cheeks it now left them, leaving her white with tension, her eyes deeply grey. Had Nick guessed her secret? Could he possibly know the terrible secret she was frightened to admit even to herself? The anger in his face seemed to say no and she breathed easily again, knowing that once again the nameless fear didn’t have to be faced.

  ‘Do I need to answer that?’ she scorned.

  Rage blazed in the dark blue eyes. ‘By God, if you stay my wife I’ll make you sorry for this!’

  ‘So you’ve already said,’ she answered calmly.

  ‘All right,’ he snapped. ‘Stay here! Two nights with you should be enough anyway.’

  Rachel gave him a startled look. ‘You leave Saturday?’

  ‘First thing,’ he nodded.

  ‘I—And will you be in Boston long?’

  ‘About a week. Then I go to Washington.’

  ‘And then?’ She held her breath as she waited for his answer.

  His mouth twisted. ‘Then I come home to you, sweet wife.’

  ‘When?’ she asked woodenly.

  Nick shrugged. ‘About the twenty-sixth of July. Helpful?’ he quirked a mocking eyebrow.

  ‘No,’ she flushed.

  ‘Well, I leave again at the beginning of August, so we should know something by then.’

  ‘Not necessarily,’ Rachel said stiffly. ‘It usually takes eight to ten weeks to confirm it.’

  He nodded. ‘Maybe when I’m through the U.S. Open.’

  ‘Do you play tennis all year long?’ she snapped irritably.

  ‘If I want to. I take the odd week off here and there, but otherwise it’s a full calendar.’

  ‘And you enjoy it.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘No more thoughts of retiring?’ She was amazed that they actually seemed to be having a normal conversation!

  Nick grimaced. ‘I was on a downer, as Kay pointed out. Most people are when they’ve just lost an important match like that one. Wimbledon is the big one, and I wanted to win it once before I retired.’

  ‘You have time—’

  ‘Not much more. How will you like being married to a hasbeen?’ he taunted, effectively ending any politeness between them.

  ‘I hope I’m not going to be married to anyone!’ Rachel snapped.

  Nick pulled on his jacket with savage movements. ‘I’d better get you home, we have a busy day tomorrow.’

  She pulled on her own coat. ‘Trying to impress my parents again, Nick?’ she mocked.

  He gave an unwilling smile. ‘They do rather like me, don’t they?’

  She quirked a mocking eyebrow. ‘Weren’t they supposed to?’

  He was grinning openly now, picking up his car keys. ‘That was the general idea.’

  ‘Why?’ She followed him outside, going down to the car.

  ‘It’s usual to get on with one’s in-laws—or, at least, try to.’

  Nick had gone out of his way to be pleasant and charming to her parents, so much so that they had nothing but praise for him. In the end she just shut herself off during their praising of him, knowing that beneath the charm was a cruel streak, a harshness that he felt no compunction about showing her.

  But his charm was the only thing in evidence the next day as they were quietly married. It was a lunchtime wedding, with only about thirty people present at the reception held at Rachel’s parents’ home afterwards. Only a few of the guests were actually Nick’s, just his sister, her husband and baby, and Suzy and Sam Freeman; the other people were all friends or relatives of Rachel’s.

  ‘You can’t get married without the close family present,’ her mother had protested when Rachel said she would rather there were no guests. ‘Otherwise they’ll think we have something to hide.’

  Rachel blushed. ‘That’s ridiculous! I’ve only known Nick a week!’

  Her mother had wiped a tear from her eyes. ‘My little girl getting married!’

  Rachel’s expression softened. ‘I’m not exactly going away, Nick’s apartment isn’t far from here.’

  ‘No doubt you’ll start travelling with him later on.’

  ‘No doubt.’ She had changed the subject after that, accepting that her immediate family at least had to witness the marriage. If only there weren’t so many of them!

  A dazed Hilary had been invited too, in fact she came along on Thursday morning to help Rachel dress.

  ‘I
t’s a beautiful dress,’ she said wistfully as she helped Rachel into it.

  Rachel looked at her reflection in the mirror. ‘Even though it’s only a register office wedding my parents insisted I had to wear white,’ she explained ruefully. The white chiffon gown was not a traditional wedding dress, but more like a cocktail dress, high-necked, and fitted over her bust and waist, falling in soft folds to just below her knee. A white pillbox hat on her dark gleaming hair, and a small posy of yellow carnations, would complete the outfit.

  ‘And Nick?’ Hilary began to secure long dark hair on top of Rachel’s head.

  She grimaced. ‘He agreed with them.’ Much to her surprise he had insisted she wear white top.

  ‘You’re so lucky, Rachel,’ her friend gave an envious sigh. ‘Nick St Clare as your husband!’

  A shutter came down over her emotions. ‘Yes.’

  ‘I don’t know how you can bear to let him go away without you.’

  ‘I have to take my exams,’ Rachel explained.

  ‘But you won’t need them!’ Hilary shook her head. ‘I think you’re mad!’

  ‘Wouldn’t you say getting married this quickly is madder?’ Rachel gave a wan smile.

  ‘Not if you’re in love.’

  ‘You’re an incurable romantic,’ she teased. And she had been cured for life!

  Hilary halted her task, frowning down at her. ‘You are in love, aren’t you?’

  Rachel licked her suddenly dry lips. ‘I—’

  ‘Of course you are,’ luckily Hilary answered her own question. ‘I wish someone handsome and exciting would come along and sweep me off my feet!’

  Rachel had to laugh at her friend’s woebegone expression, and the tension she had been under all morning lessened slightly.

  But it came back with a vengeance the moment she set eyes on Nick at the register office. He looked so distinguished in the dark pin-striped suit, his hair golden against its dark colour, but his eyes were cold as he looked back at her.

  ‘You look beautiful,’ Kay told her, the sleeping Eve in her arms. ‘Doesn’t she, Nick?’

  ‘Very,’ he agreed tersely. ‘Shall we go in?’

  As Rachel moved to stand beside him her attention was caught and held be vehement blue eyes. Suzy Freeman was looking at her with open dislike, a sneer to her lips as she continued to stare.

  Rachel turned away, more unnerved than she cared to admit, hardly aware of the ceremony taking place as she felt blue eyes boring into her back. Suzy Freeman hated her, and there could be no doubting the reason why she did.

  ‘Rachel!’ Nick prompted harshly.

  She looked up to find the registrar watching her expectantly. She looked frantically to Nick for help.

  ‘I do,’ he prompted in a fierce whisper.

  Heavens, had the ceremony got that far already! She swallowed hard. ‘I do,’ she said in a strained voice.

  Within minutes, it seemed, the kindly man standing in front of her pronounced them man and wife.

  ‘You may kiss the bride,’ he beamed down at them.

  ‘With pleasure,’ Nick growled, his head swooping as his mouth took possession of hers.

  It was as if he were punishing her for her attention wandering; the kiss went on and on, not at all like the small kiss of celebration they had been invited to take. Finally Rachel struggled to be released.

  Nick’s eyes glittered down at her. ‘Mrs St Clare,’ he said in a sneer.

  Her mouth felt numb from the fierce pressure of his, although she managed a shaky smile as family and friends came forward to congratulate them.

  The small reception was being held at her parents’ home. The furniture had been moved back in the large lounge to accommodate the thirty or so guests, and a buffet lunch was laid out on a table set against one wall.

  Rachel and Nick stood just inside the room welcoming the guests as they came in, neither of them having spoken a word to each other since Nick had so cruelly taunted her about being Mrs St Clare.

  She felt herself tense as Suzy Freeman and her father came towards them, and Nick looked at them too as her tension was relayed to him by his impersonal hold on her elbow.

  Sam Freeman’s congratulations were warm and sincerely meant, then he was taken by her mother to be introduced to some of the other guests.

  Suzy Freeman looked at Rachel with open contempt, her gaze warming as she turned to Nick. ‘Do I congratulate or commiserate with you?’ she drawled.

  Rachel gasped at this open attack, although Nick seemed unperturbed; he grinned widely, accepting the other woman’s lingering kiss on the lips with an equal response.

  ‘Only time will tell,’ he taunted.

  Icy blue eyes were once again levelled on Rachel. ‘You’re certainly to be congratulated.’ Suzy’s mouth twisted. ‘And I do congratulate you, Miss James.’

  ‘Mrs St Clare,’ she corrected stiffly.

  ‘Not for long, I trust,’ Suzy Freeman scorned before once more kissing Nick on the mouth. ‘I’ll see you soon, darling.’

  Nick was smiling openly by this time, obviously having enjoyed the other woman’s attention.

  ‘What did she mean by that?’ Rachel asked through stiff lips.

  He shrugged, sipping the champagne they had all been given as they came into the room. ‘Suzy will naturally be coming to Boston with Sam and me.’

  It was the first Rachel had heard of it, but that wasn’t what was troubling her. ‘What did she mean about my not being Mrs St Clare for long?’ she asked.

  ‘Nick,’ her father joined them, ‘come and say hello to Rachel’s grandparents. And there’s a dozen or so aunts and uncles who would like to meet you too,’ he teased.

  ‘Of course, Jim,’ Nick agreed instantly. ‘You’ll be all right, Rachel?’

  ‘Yes,’ she answered distantly.

  Her father mistook her reserve for disappointment. ‘Don’t worry, love,’ he squeezed her hand, ‘I’ll bring him back as soon as I can!’

  Nick’s eyes mocked her as he kissed her lightly on the lips. ‘I won’t be long, honey,’ he taunted.

  Rachel watched him as he moved around the room charming and flattering members of her family, knowing that he had captivated them all within a few minutes of being introduced. Everyone appeared to be having a good time, her mother was in her element as hostess, Kay and Richard were talking to Hilary, Sam Freeman was now in conversation with her father as Nick took one of her little cousins on to his knee, and the five-year-old giggled as he whispered something in her ear.

  ‘He’s wonderful with children, isn’t he?’ a female voice taunted at her side.

  She turned wavy grey eyes on Suzy Freeman. ‘Yes,’ she replied stiltedly.

  The other woman’s mouth twisted. ‘But then he could need to be, couldn’t he?’ she scorned.

  Rachel paled. ‘What do you mean?’

  Suzy gave her a contemptuous look. ‘You think Nick didn’t tell us about your scheming?’

  She swallowed hard. ‘I don’t know, did he?’

  ‘Of course,’ the other woman nodded. ‘Nick doesn’t keep much from me, especially as we had plans to marry ourselves.’

  Rachel felt as if the ground were fast disappearing from beneath her feet. ‘I—If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go out into the garden. I need some air.’

  ‘What a good idea,’ Suzy said smoothly. ‘It is a little warm in here.’

  The last thing Rachel wanted was for Suzy Freeman to come with her. She needed time to collect her thoughts together, to accept that part of Nick’s anger was due to the fact that he believed her to have prevented him marrying the woman he really wanted.

  Suzy walked at her side as they moved around the large garden. ‘Nick’s always been such a flirt,’ she mused. ‘But I accepted that. And he knew that when he was ready to settle down I would be waiting. He always felt I was too young for marriage yet,’ she added ruefully. ‘So what he’s going to do with a child bride I have no idea.’

  Rachel looked at her
with dull eyes. ‘Don’t you?’

  Once again the hatred came back into Suzy’s face. ‘Oh, no doubt you’ll prove amusing for a while. Until you became big with his child,’ she added with vehemence. ‘Have no doubt who he’ll turn to then. And I’ll be waiting, Rachel, as I always have.’

  She had sensed this woman was an enemy the last time they had met, and now she knew it. Suzy would feel no compunction about sleeping with Nick, even if he did have a wife and child.

  ‘Maybe you won’t have to wait long,’ she said tautly. ‘If there isn’t a child he could be yours’ again in two months.’

  They walked on in silence for several minutes, the light breeze exactly what Rachel needed to revive her. This conversation would have been unpleasant at any time, but at least out here there could be no witnesses to her humiliation. Nick must have known his mistress would talk to her like this, and he had done nothing to prevent it.

  ‘You were very clever, of course,’ Suzy stopped to admire the roses, ‘although perhaps a little silly too.’

  ‘Oh yes?’

  ‘Nick hates deception of any sort, he always has.’

  ‘Might I remind you that he was there too, the night we—we—Well, he was there too,’ Rachel finished angrily.

  ‘Of course,’ Suzy drawled. ‘Otherwise he wouldn’t need to be here now. I’ve waited a long time for Nick to get married, and now it’s to someone else. But considering the reason he’s marrying you I’m glad it isn’t me. God, I could have pulled the same trick on him hundreds of times if I’d been that desperate for marriage. But I know how he must hate you for tricking him into this marriage.’

  She couldn’t have told Rachel any more clearly how close she and Nick were, and for some time, by the sound of it.

  ‘Why would he hate me?’ Rachel asked softly, realising that Nick’s background might now be explained to her, his claim to being illegitimate.

  Suzy looked surprised by the question. ‘You can’t be serious,’ she scorned.

  ‘I can’t?’

  The other woman shook her head. ‘Everyone knows Nick’s background, it’s never been any secret.’

  ‘It has from me,’ Rachel said casually, frightened of letting Suzy Freeman know just how much she wanted to know the answer to her next question. ‘Tell me.’