Hidden Love

by Carole Mortimer

  Rachel shook her head. ‘It was nothing, really. I just—Nick may call,’ she invented desperately.

  ‘Ah, now I understand,’ Kay nodded, smiling. ‘Well, give him my love.’

  ‘Can I drive you home?’ Richard offered.

  ‘No, thanks,’ Rachel smiled; she liked Kay’s husband immensely. ‘I have the car with me.’

  Nick had offered her the keys to his car, but only being a newly qualified driver she had been petrified of the monster and had refused, so Nick had instantly gone out and bought her a Mini—much to her delighted surprise.

  ‘I’ll call you,’ Kay told her warmly, and Rachel knew that she would. Kay was a nice woman, a thoughtful friend.

  The flat seemed lonelier than ever on her return from the warmth and spontaneous love that flowed in the Lennox household, and she wandered aimlessly from room to room. When the telephone rang she jumped nervously, then picked up the receiver. It was probably her parents, they rang most evenings.

  ‘Rachel?’

  Nick’s husky tones had her sitting upright in the chair. ‘Nick?’ she exclaimed excitedly.

  ‘Who else were you expecting to call you?’

  She bristled at his suspicious tone. ‘No one. But then I wasn’t expecting a call from you either,’ she snapped, her happiness at hearing from him evaporating.

  ‘Enjoying yourself?’ he taunted.

  ‘Oh yes,’ her voice was brittle, ‘I’m going out having fun every night.’

  ‘Who with?’ he asked sharply.

  ‘Surely you don’t expect me to list them?’ she scorned.

  ‘Rachel—’

  ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, Nick, don’t be so ridiculous! I’ve been in every night—’

  ‘You were out tonight. I called earlier and got no reply.’

  ‘I was at your sister’s. I think she felt sorry for me.’

  ‘Something I’m sure you nurture,’ he said nastily.

  ‘Oh yes,’ she derided, ‘I tell her how cruel you are to me—when I see you. How I’m your damned sex-slave!’ She was really angry now. ‘How dare you call me up like this and insult me? What did you call for anyway?’ she added moodily.

  ‘To ask you to join me in Canada,’ he told her quietly.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I’m lonely, I’d like you here with me.’

  Rachel blinked, swallowing hard, completely speechless. He was lonely? How did he think she felt!

  ‘Rachel?’

  She licked her lips nervously. ‘I don’t know what to say.’

  ‘You could try yes,’ Nick taunted softly.

  ‘I—’

  ‘Nick darling, are you ready for dinner yet?’

  The sound of Suzy Freeman’s husky voice came clearly over the telephone! ‘So you’re lonely, are you, Nick?’ Rachel snapped. ‘Well, maybe I should go out and find myself some loneliness like that!’ She slammed, the receiver down, then ran into her bedroom to bury her head beneath the pillow as she sobbed, the sound of the telephone ringing muffled as she held the pillow tightly over her ears.

  She must have finally fallen asleep that way, for she woke in the morning to find she was still fully dressed, the pillow still over her head. Nick had been very persistent; the telephone had rung again and again—until presumably he had gone off to dinner with Suzy Freeman!

  How dared he ask her to join him when Suzy Freeman was in the room with him? More to the point, why bother with her when the other woman was more than willing to occupy her place in his bed?

  She wouldn’t allow herself to dwell on this further hurt, and spent the day with her parents, doing her best to forget she even had a husband.

  The telephone was once again ringing when she got in at ten o’clock, and she knew it had to be Nick. She considered ignoring it again, but knew from experience that he would just keep ringing and ringing.

  ‘Yes?’ she snapped into the receiver.

  ‘Rachel?’ The voice on the line was definitely female!

  ‘Er—yes.’ She frowned. She had been so sure it was going to be Nick, and was taken aback that it wasn’t.

  ‘Suzy Freeman here, Rachel,’ she was informed.

  She instantly stiffened. ‘Yes?’

  ‘You really weren’t very sensible yesterday, Rachel,’ the other girl taunted.

  ‘I wasn’t?’ she evaded.

  ‘No,’ Suzy gave a throaty laugh. ‘Nick hates jealousy. I warned you you wouldn’t hold on to him for long. Physical attraction isn’t enough, you know.’

  ‘It was enough for Nick to ask me to join him in Canada!’ Rachel snapped—and then wished she hadn’t. She hated letting this girl know she disturbed her—even if she did.

  ‘Nick hates to sleep alone,’ Suzy drawled.

  Rachel swallowed hard. ‘You mean—’

  ‘I mean that Nick loves the one he’s with, and as you refused to join him…Well, I’m sure you understand what I mean,’ Suzy said coyly.

  She understood only too well, and she was sickened by the thought of Nick and Suzy together. ‘Did you call me just to let me know that you slept with my husband last night?’ she asked stiffly.

  ‘No,’ Suzy laughed. ‘Although I did think you should know about it.’

  ‘Thank you!’

  ‘My pleasure—and I mean that literally,’ the other woman purred. ‘Nick is such a considerate lover, isn’t he?’

  ‘Yes,’ Rachel agreed dully.

  ‘Anyway, enough of that,’ Suzy said briskly. ‘I’m sure you’re as familiar with Nick’s prowess in bed as I am. I’m calling on his behalf actually.’

  ‘Really?’ Rachel scorned. ‘Did he want me to know the two of you slept together too?’

  ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t deny it if you asked him.’

  ‘I have no intention of asking him anything,’ Rachel snapped.

  ‘Please yourself,’ she could hear the shrug in Suzy’s voice. ‘Nick’s practising right now. He called your earlier, but didn’t get an answer.’

  ‘I’ve been out all day.’

  ‘Obviously,’ Suzy said dryly. ‘Nick didn’t like it.’

  ‘Shame!’

  ‘I wouldn’t get clever with him, Rachel. He can be—well, he has a temper.’

  ‘I’ll bear that in mind!’

  ‘Rachel—Oh, never mind, it’s your funeral. The sooner the two of you split up the better I’ll like it.’

  ‘So I gathered.’

  ‘Okay, as long as we know where we stand. Nick still wants you to come out here.’

  Rachel frowned. ‘Couldn’t you convince him otherwise?’ she taunted.

  ‘I tried. But Nick is afraid that the news of your marriage may leak out to the press. It wouldn’t look very good for his image if it were known he’d left you in England only a month after the wedding.’

  In that moment Rachel truly hated Nick. He hadn’t wanted her with him at all; he just didn’t want any adverse publicity.

  ‘And talking of months,’ Suzy continued, ‘Nick wondered if you knew anything yet?’ she mocked.

  ‘If I did I wouldn’t tell my husband’s mistress!’ And Rachel slammed the telephone down.

  The truth of the matter was she still wasn’t sure of her condition one way or the other. With all that had happened to her the last few weeks her body had gone haywire.

  Nick telephoned her himself later in the evening. ‘Suzy says you won’t come out to Canada,’ he said tersely.

  ‘No.’ She clutched the receiver. She had not expected to hear from him once Suzy had told him of their conversation.

  ‘Why the hell not?’

  ‘I’m sure Suzy told you my reasons.’ She was at once on the defensive.

  ‘She did,’ he confirmed. ‘But I want you out here.’

  ‘She told me that too, and the reason why.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘I’m still not coming.’ She didn’t give a damn about adverse publicity.

  ‘Rachel—’

  ‘I’m not interested, Nick.�
� She was too hurt by the fact that his interest should only be in what the press had to say. Oh, she had no doubt that once she was there he would want her to share his bed, but it would all really be for show. Nick was only thinking of his image. That was probably also part of the reason he had married her in the first place. No doubt his childhood had influenced his decision, but more controversial publicity for someone as much in the public eye as he was could have something to do with it too.

  He gave an angry sigh. ‘I need you out here.’

  ‘And I’m quite happy where I am.’

  ‘You’re my wife—’

  ‘And you’re my husband!’ she reminded him tightly.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘Work it out, Nick. Goodnight.’

  ‘Rachel—’

  ‘Goodnight!’

  Tonight he didn’t bother to call her back, and her sleep was restless as she accepted that the gulf between her and Nick was widening.

  As the time neared for him to come home her nervousness about facing him again increased. It was one thing to defy him over the telephone, quite another to accept his wrath face to face.

  There was a girl waiting outside the flat when she arrived home from shopping one evening.

  ‘Yes?’ Rachel frowned her puzzlement, sure that she didn’t know the girl.

  ‘Mrs St Clare?’

  ‘Yes.’ Her frown deepened, and she tried to balance her shopping while she unlocked the door.

  ‘Here, let me.’ The girl took one of the shopping bags out of her hand.

  ‘Thanks,’ Rachel gave a grateful smile, and led the way inside, putting the shopping in the kitchen.

  ‘You’ve been busy.’ The other girl put the bag she had been carrying on the worktop beside the others.

  ‘Yes.’ Rachel ran her hands nervously down her denim-clad thighs. ‘Er—Nick’s away right now.’ It followed that if she didn’t know this girl then she must be a friend of Nick’s!

  ‘Yes, I know,’ the girl nodded.

  Oh God, not another of Nick’s women come to warn her off! This girl looked three or four years older than her, still a little young for Nick, but that didn’t rule out the possibility of her being another one of his girlfriends. If Nick wanted someone badly enough then he wasn’t likely to let a thing like age bother him. It hadn’t with her.

  ‘He won’t be back until Sunday,’ she said.

  ‘I know,’ the girl nodded again.

  ‘Oh.’ Rachel chewed on her bottom lip. ‘Then I don’t see—er—’ she shook her head in puzzlement. ‘I don’t think I can help you.’

  The girl gave an embarrassed laugh. ‘I’m sorry—I’m new at this sort of thing. I should have introduced myself. My name is Anna Hill, and I work for the Morning News, and—’

  ‘You’re a reporter?’ Rachel gasped in dismay.

  ‘Afraid so,’ Anna Hill nodded ruefully.

  ‘Oh dear!’

  ‘Everyone reacts the same way,’ the other girl sighed.

  Rachel blushed. ‘It’s nothing personal.’

  ‘Oh, I know that,’ Anna Hill laughed.

  Rachel clutched her hands together in front of her. ‘I really don’t see how I can help you.’ She looked at the girl with anxious grey eyes.

  ‘You are Mrs St Clare, Mrs Nick St Clare?’

  ‘Er—yes.’ She frowned. ‘Nothing has happened to Nick, has it?’ Panic clutched at her heart.

  Anna Hill shrugged. ‘Not unless you call getting knocked out of the Canadian Open something “happening” to him.’

  ‘Oh no!’ Rachel groaned.

  ‘’Fraid so,’ the other girl nodded. ‘We had information at the paper that he’d recently married—’

  ‘Who from?’ Rachel interrupted sharply.

  Anna Hill shrugged. ‘I have no idea. My editor came to me with the story, I’m just following it up.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘I hope so,’ the girl grimaced. ‘I hate these sort of stories.’

  ‘These sort?’ Rachel queried tentatively.

  ‘Well, since you married a few weeks ago your husband has won one tournament, hasn’t played at all, or has been knocked out in the early stages. I’m supposed to find out if you think your marriage has affected his play.’

  Rachel drew in a controlling breath. ‘Obviously someone thinks it has,’ she said tightly.

  ‘Not me. When I saw him play at Wimbledon—’

  ‘We weren’t married then.’

  ‘Oh. No, you weren’t, were you? I thought he should have won.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You would rather I weren’t here, wouldn’t you?’ Anna Hill sighed.

  ‘I—’

  ‘It’s all right,’ the other girl smiled. ‘I’m getting used to it. It used to upset me a lot at first, but I think I’m getting hardened to it.’

  Rachel couldn’t help liking Anna Hill—although she didn’t like the reason she was here at all. Nick was a well-known tennis personality, and perhaps they had been lucky to evade publicity over their marriage this long, but she couldn’t say she liked this sudden interest; it embarrassed and unnerved her.

  ‘Would you object to the interview?’ Anna Hill prompted gently.

  ‘I—I think that would depend on the questions you want to ask,’ Rachel decided.

  ,‘Yes. But I think I should warn you that if I don’t get the story some other newspaper is going to pick it up. And although I say it myself, I think I could handle it better than a lot of them.’

  Rachel sighed and turned away. She had seen some of the sensationalism printed in the newspapers nowadays, and if it was true that Nick had once again been eliminated from a tournament, the important Canadian Open, then the story of their recent marriage could make very lurid reading. Anna Hill seemed a very sensitive girl, and she was easy to talk to.

  She turned back to the other girl. ‘Could I read the story before it was submitted?’

  ‘You learn fast!’ Anna grinned.

  ‘I think I may have to,’ Rachel said dryly.

  ‘Yes,’ Anna agreed ruefully. ‘But I never put in anything that isn’t approved by the person I’m writing about—less chance of a libel suit that way. It may be exciting to get an exclusive, but it isn’t so exciting if your subject takes some exception to what you’ve written.’

  ‘Would you like some coffee?’ Rachel offered.

  ‘I’d love some,’ Anna accepted eagerly.

  After days of being alone it was good to have company, although perhaps a reporter wasn’t the best person in the world to open your heart up to! Rachel only gave Anna the bare facts of her meeting with Nick through Kay, realising as she told it how romantic it sounded.

  ‘Love at first sight,’ Anna said dreamily.

  ‘Not quite—maybe second sight,’ Rachel added at the other girl’s disappointment.

  ‘You’re so lucky!’

  Nick obviously had another eager female fan here. ‘Very,’ she agreed abruptly, feeling jealous in spite of herself.

  ‘No wonder Nick—Mr St Clare—’

  ‘Nick,’ Rachel accepted.

  ‘Well, no wonder he’s off his game. He must really be missing you.’

  ‘Yes.’ She sounded distant now.

  ‘Why aren’t you in Canada with him?’

  ‘Well, he did ask me to go,’ Rachel said truthfully, ‘but I’d just be a distraction to him.’

  ‘Mm, it’s a difficult decision to make. You’re a distraction if you’re there, and a distraction if you aren’t there.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You must really miss him too.’

  ‘Yes,’ she answered truthfully.

  ‘Right—well, I think I have enough to be going on with.’ Anna Hill stood up, checking her notes.

  Once the other girl had gone Rachel wondered if she had told her too much. It had only been the truth, but without the fact of Nick making love to her and then forcing her to marry him it came out as a rather romantic story.


  As the evening passed and she heard nothing back from Anna her worry deepened. She even called the newspaper once, only to be told Anna was out covering a story. She left her name with a message for the girl to call her the minute she got back, whatever time it happened to be.

  It was just after eleven when the doorbell rang, and she rushed to answer it. It was Anna Hill.

  ‘Sorry it’s so late,’ she said breathlessly, ‘but I was out covering a fire—’

  ‘Was anyone hurt?’

  ‘No, thank God.’

  ‘Come in.’ Rachel held the door open.

  ‘I’m a bit smoky—’

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ Rachel dismissed, leading the way to the lounge.

  Anna looked guilty as she followed her. ‘I have a confession to make…’

  Rachel stiffened. ‘Yes?’

  ‘I’m so sorry—There just wasn’t time, you see, not with the fire and everything.’ She gave Rachel a pleading look.

  Rachel closed her eyes for a moment, pale as she looked at Anna. ‘You’ve submitted the story, haven’t you?’ she guessed fautly.

  ‘I didn’t, my editor did. I was called out to this fire, and I’d left your story on my desk. My editor saw it and took it.’

  Rachel bit her lip. ‘Can I see it now?’

  ‘Of course.’ Anna looked through her handbag. ‘I, brought you one of the first run-offs. The photograph came out well, didn’t it?’ She looked over Rachel’s shoulder as she read the article.

  Rachel had given Anna one of the photographs of the wedding, and even if she did say so herself it was a good one, of both of them. Somehow they had been looking at each other, Nick indulgently so, she with a dreamy look in her eyes.

  As she read the article her heart sank. It was full of quotes from her, so obviously given at an interview, and in print the story looked ridiculously romantic, almost like a fairytale.

  ‘You don’t like it,’ Anna sighed at her silence.

  It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, she just didn’t think Nick would. But there wasn’t a word of a lie in the whole article, and as she had thought it would be, it was written with sensitivity, even if Anna had also introduced an enjoyment of the romantic.

  ‘I don’t not like it—’

  ‘Did I go too far?’ Anna asked worriedly.

  ‘Well…’

  ‘I did,’ she grimaced. ‘I knew it should have been checked with you first.’