by Gina Azzi
To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Date: September 7, 2015
Subject: Roma é il mio cuore
Ciao amiche,
Roma is my heart; I am seriously in love with this city but missing all of you tons and tons. I wish you could come visit. Lila – did you go to Cade’s game? I need details. Emma – loving your photos from D.C. Who is the tall guy with his arm around you in the group photo? Maura – how are practices going?
Here’s what’s happening here:
My host family is incredible. Paola and Gianluca have taken me and Lexi (the other study abroad student) in as their daughters (even though they’re like thirty). Gianluca cooks the most amazing dinners every night. I’m practicing my Italian constantly and think if this keeps up, I could be fluent. Imagine? My mom would be so happy!
This week, I visited the Coliseum and Roman Forman. It’s truly incredible to walk the same streets that people have been walking for thousands of years and experience an entire civilization, a whole world, that no longer exists. I think that’s what I like best about Rome: the fact that modernity and antiquity coexist in every day life.
As for gelato, so far my favorites are pistachio and strawberry con panna (with cream) and nocciola (hazelnut). I’ve been overindulging though, so it’s time to rein it in a little. The food is amazing. As is the wine, obvi.
Classes are good. They start early, but I really like my Italian professor and am enjoying my class on Italian cinema immensely. There’s a boy in my class, Peter, and we are paired together for a project. He’s really nice and has been helpful as I settle in here. Also, I met an Italian hottie. His name is Lorenzo and he works at a nearby restaurant. I met him on my first day here and since then, I’ve run into him frequently – I think his family owns the restaurant. Lexi and I eat there a lot for lunch and he always includes a sweet – cannoli, biscotti, tiramisu, etc. – for us to take home with us.
Basically, I’m loving it here! Off to class now but looking forward to your updates. Hope you’re all having a great weekend! Please write back soon.
Un bacione,
Mia
I laugh after reading Mia’s email. Two boys! I’m so happy that she’s enjoying Rome and meeting new people. It’s important and healthy for her to be involved in something outside of ballet. I never thought she would go through with the study abroad, but knowing how important it was to her mother for her to experience her Italian heritage, I think it’s wonderful that she’s living in Rome this semester.
Even though I’m so far from my friends, I’m glad we are all committed to keeping in touch, to filling each other in on our lives, the things we are doing, the people we are meeting. It seems like we’re not so far as long as we continue to connect and share our stories and thoughts with each other. It’s only been one week and yet it’s as if a whole new world has opened up for each of us.
Chapter Eleven
Cade
Before I leave the locker room, I give my dad a quick call like I do after every game. When I was still in high school, Dad never missed a game. Now he flies out to watch a few games every year, but usually later in the season. I can picture him sitting on a bar stool, Uncle Ronnie to his left, tapping his knuckles against the bar, his pint of Bud Light growing warm. His eyes will never leave the TV screen.
“Champ!” Dad answers.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Awesome game today, Cade. That was one hell of a touchdown.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you watched.”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
In the background I hear Uncle Ronnie hollering, “Is that the kid? Tell him I said good game. Although I know he can run faster. He ran faster that time he backed into my car.”
I shake my head, laughing, remembering how I backed into Uncle Ronnie’s prized joy, his Mustang, when I was sixteen years old. I bolted as fast as I could.
Dad laughs. “You hear Ronnie?”
“I hear him.”
“Well, I’m proud of you, Cade. You kicked ass today. Now go and enjoy it with your team. Thanks for calling,” Dad adds, even though I call after every game. It’s tradition. Just like it’s tradition for him to thank me for calling.
I shake my head. “I’ll talk to you later, Pops.”
“Alright. Take it easy, Champ.”
I hang up and shoulder my duffel bag. As I exit the locker room, I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face at seeing her waiting for me outside. Lila. She’s leaning against the side of the building, her blond hair creating a halo around her face. She’s scrolling through messages on her phone. A small smile flits across her lips and she unexpectedly giggles. I stop a few feet away from her and when she looks up, I’m momentarily lost in the merriment and excitement shining in her eyes.
“Hey, superstar!” she calls, dropping her phone in her purse.
“Hey, you.” I walk over to her, adjusting my duffle bag higher on my shoulder.
The parking lot is quiet, most fans already packed into bars, doing keg stands at house parties, or enjoying a late night second dinner.
When I reach her side, she looks up at me expectantly, and before I can stop myself, I lean down and brush my lips over hers. I feel her smile against my lips before she steps closer, her hands resting on my hips, and kisses me back.
“That was an awesome game,” she congratulates, breaking our embrace.
I laugh. “It was a good first game for sure.”
She nods, trailing me to my truck. I toss my duffle bag in the bed and walk around to the passenger side to open her door for her.
“Thanks.”
After I’m settled in, I look over at her, starting the ignition.
“I’m glad you waited for me. Were you waiting long?”
She shakes her head. “No, only about ten minutes. I saw a lot of the other guys on the team leaving so I figured you weren’t far behind.”
“Are you hungry?”
“A little. Not starving but up for a snack.”
“Well, I’m starving. You want to grab a pizza and then head back to my house? I’m sure a party is already in full swing.”
“Sure. Can I invite Kristen and Sam to come by your house too?”
she asks nervously, her hands toying with the hem of her shirt.
“Absolutely. Invite whomever you want. I’m sure it’s already a mad house.”
“Cool.” She takes out her phone and sends a quick text before dropping her purse back by her feet. “Where to?”
“I know a place.”
She laughs lightly, rolling her eyes. “I’m sure you do.”
* * *
Our pizza date is fun and lighthearted. We both eat quickly, eager to get to the party. Lila tells me more about how she grew up, her family dynamics, her brother Brandon. I can tell just by how she mentions him, the smile that brightens her face when she says his name, that she’s really close with her brother. Just like Jared and I once were.
An hour later, I pull up to the house. I park around the back where there is a small lot with designated parking spots. I’m relieved that mine is still empty. The house is already packed, and I can hear the loud music. A few partygoers spill outside, drinking out of red Solo cups and beer bottles on the front lawn.
“Come on.” I take Lila’s hand in mine as we walk toward the house.
I know eyes are going roll and mouths are going to drop the second we walk through the front door hand-in-hand. A few comments and whistles from the guys, several wide-eyed stares and flippant remarks from girls I once hooked up with, whispers from people who don’t know me at all.
I sigh. It’s frustrating to never be able to just date like a normal person. Every time I take a girl out, until Lila that is, there were always these expectations that came along with it. Are we together? Are you going to introduce me to the team? What do you mean we’re not exclusive?
I loo
k over at Lila. She looks nervous, twisting her gold bracelet, tugging once again on the bottom of her shirt, which only makes the sleeve fall lower on her shoulder, displaying more of her smooth, tanned skin.
“You okay?” I stop walking.
She looks up at me and nods, smiling.
I squeeze her hand in mine. “You know that by us showing up together, everyone is going to know that we’re seeing each other. Are you up for that?”
She nods again.
Suddenly, a thought I’ve never had before hits me. “If you’re not ready to go public or have people know we’re dating or whatever, I get it.” I drop her hand.
She looks down again and gives her shirt one final tug. When she meets my gaze, her eyes are clear and she’s squared her shoulders. “No, I’m ready.”
I laugh at her serious expression. “Okay then.” I take her hand back in mine, kissing her knuckles quickly. “But if all of this…” I nod in the direction of the house, the party “…becomes too much, just let me know. Okay?” It’s something I’ve never said to a girl before. Because every girl I’ve ever dated always craved the spotlight, wanted to be the center of attention. And the fact that Lila seems to shy away from it makes me like her even more. She’s such a refreshing change.
She smiles, relieved. “Yes.”
“Then let’s go claim the top spot of this week’s campus gossip.”
She giggles, squeezing my fingers lightly in her hand.
We walk up the four steps to the front door. The porch is littered with empty Solo cups and a few beer bottles and sandwich wrappers. A couple makes out in the corner. The guy is already sliding the girl’s shirt up, his hand palming her right breast.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lila’s eyes widen in surprise. She laughs, amused.
“Ignore them,” I say quietly, pushing the front door open.
As soon as the guys and people in the house see me, a roar erupts: cheering, clapping, whistling. I immediately feel embarrassed. I mean, really, every win is a team win. I hate the way people act around me, like my performance on the football field is really that important or significant. Now that the draft projections are starting to throw my name in the mix, mention my statistics, the attention has gotten worse. Internally, I cringe. Externally, I squeeze Lila’s hand tighter, pulling her closer into my side and wrapping my arm around her.
I duck my head at the applause and make my way into the kitchen so I can get beers for Lila and me.
Within moments, the looks, the stares, the whispers begin.
“Who is she?”
“I’ve never seen her before.”
“Is Cade with someone?”
“That won’t last long.”
I ignore the comments without even blinking. Without turning around, I can only hope that Lila is doing the same and isn’t affected by the sneers from these random girls.
“Yo, dude.” Miers calls out, holding out two red Solo cups fresh with beer from the keg. “Shit’s almost tapped. Better get a beer while you can.” He hands me a beer and hands the other to Lila. “Hi.” He smiles warmly. “I’m Miers.”
Lila takes the beer and I can tell she’s grateful to Miers. “Hi. I’m Lila.”
“Good to meet you.”
“You too. Um, good game.”
Miers laughs. “Yeah, thanks. What did you crazy kids get into tonight?”
“We grabbed a pizza,” I tell him, warning him with my eyes not to tease Lila too much. I can tell she’s already nervous about meeting guys on the team.
Miers catches my look automatically. “Nice. Well, Lila, hope you enjoy the party. See you guys in a bit.” He clasps a hand on my shoulder as he steps around us and disappears into the crowd.
I turn toward Lila, caging her in against the kitchen island by placing my hands on either side of her body. I bend down slightly, making sure we’re eye level. “You doing alright?”
“You’re really popular.”
I laugh. “It’s not always a good thing.”
She shrugs, taking a small sip of her beer. Suddenly, her eyes light up. “Kristen! Sam!”
I turn my head and see a petite, cute brunette and a tall, lanky guy with bright green glasses enter the kitchen.
The girl, I assume Kristen, waves and pulls the guy, Sam, over to Lila’s side. I take a step back, watching as Lila hugs her two friends hello. “I’m so glad you guys came!” she exclaims, her relief evident.
“I never thought this would be my life,” Sam mutters. “Or that I would meet you.” He stares at me wide eyed. He pushes his glasses farther up on his nose. “I’m Sam.” He holds out his hand.
“Cade.” I shake his hand.
He huffs. “Oh please. I know who you are. I mean, everyone knows who you are.” He tilts his head, studying me. “You know, you’re actually a lot hotter in person than you are in pictures. And that’s really hard to do.”
I laugh, surprised. “Thank you.”
He grins back at me and waves toward the brunette. “This is Kristen.”
“Hi.” She smiles shyly.
“Nice to meet you, Kristen. Let me get you guys some beers.” I walk over to the keg and watch how Lila’s body relaxes. She melts in between her two friends, the three of their heads bent toward each other as they talk quietly and laugh together. I shake my head, smiling to myself. Maybe she’ll have a better time now that she doesn’t feel so out of place.
When I have two Solo cups brimming with beer, I walk back over to Lila and her friends. I offer her friends the cups and both Kristen and Sam hold their drinks up. Lila follows suit and then I join in.
“Congratulations on the win,” Kristen offers, unsure.
“Victory is ours!” we say in unison, clinking cups before taking a sip of lukewarm Bud Light.
Lila looks up at me through her thick lashes as she swallows her beer. The smile she gives me is genuine and sincere.
Before I can stop myself, I lean forward and kiss her.
Chapter Twelve
Lila
The second Kristen and Sam enter Cade’s kitchen, I feel relieved and excited all over again. Pizza with Cade was casual and fun. But the moment we walked through his front door holding hands, my nerves went on high alert from all of the looks people I’ve never met were throwing my way. I heard girls whispering behind their hands and although it was obvious they were talking about me, I couldn’t make out what they were saying.
I felt calmer once Miers handed me a beer, but the presence of Kristen and Sam centered me. Relaxed, calm, in control.
Now I’m watching Cade work the room, slapping guys on the back, chitchatting with randoms, his laugh rumbling loudly.
“He never lets you out of his sight,” Kristen whispers in my ear.
Kristen, Sam, and I are standing off to the side in the living room, talking, drinking beer, and people watching.
“What do you mean?”
She leans closer, her hair sliding forward like a curtain. “Even though he’s talking with his friends and joking around, he keeps checking to make sure that you’re okay, that you’re still here, that you’re having fun. He’s totally aware of your presence. It’s really cute.”
Huh? I look up and sure enough my eyes meet Cade’s. He smiles warmly and I feel a grin spread across my face just from his reaction.
“Ugh, I’m going to vomit,” Sam comments, but he’s smiling too.
“Whatever,” I say, turning my attention back to my friends. “What did you guys do after the game?”
“Got stuck in an absurd amount of foot traffic trying to get to King’s for food,” Sam offers.
“At least we ate,” Kristen adds.
Suddenly, a loud, shrill voice erupts, interrupting our conversation. All three of our heads snap up as a beautiful girl with bouncy, blond curls and a slamming body steps up to Cade. She’s whining loudly, pushing her red-tipped fingernail deep into his chest. “How could you bring someone here?” She turns to look at me, her eyes narrowing into
slits. She looks fierce and I feel Kristen freeze next to me.
Cade rests his hand on the girl’s forearm, gently trying to pull her to the side of the room where they won’t literally be the center of attention. Someone lowers the music considerably, ensuring that Cade’s and the girl’s voices carry throughout the first floor of the house.
“No!” she snarls, yanking her arm out of his grasp. “I don’t understand how you could embarrass me like this Cade.”
“I think you’re doing a pretty good job of that all by yourself,” he replies evenly.
Sam swallows his laugh, coughing slightly.
A tear runs down the girl’s cheek. “I thought we were together.”
“Tamara.” Cade sighs. “Can we speak privately?”
“No!” She smacks her palm against his chest. “Anything you have to say to me, you can say here, where everyone can see what a dick you are!”
Cade nods calmly. “Okay.” He takes a step back so her hand slides off his chest. “I’m sorry that you are upset that I showed up tonight with another girl, but you and I had dinner together once. Before school ended last year. I was under the impression that you were seeing someone this summer?” he questions, raising his eyebrows at her. “And now I’m seeing someone too.” He walks toward me, and Kristen and Sam both scoot out of the way.
Cade throws his arm around my shoulder and turns to address the party. “This is Lila. My girlfriend.”
His girlfriend?
I take in the surprised gasps.
The music that still plays like background noise.
My fingers dig into the red Solo cup I’m clutching.
Sam’s laugh.
Cade’s easy smile.
Miers’s coughing fit.
Girlfriend?
What. The. Fuck.
* * *
After Cade’s public declaration, Kristen pulls me off to the bathroom to give me a minute to process.
And hyperventilate.
And overanalyze.
“He said girlfriend, right?” I ask for the fourth time. How could he say that out loud in front of all those people? I mean, I’ve known him for like five seconds. Or a week. But still, this isn’t middle school. No one declares a relationship status that quickly after the age of thirteen.