by Iris Deorre
Jasmine tried to think how that could be. How could anyone’s life be worse than hers? The torture she lived with each day and not truly understanding herself was the worst feeling in the world.
‘You are a beautiful woman, don’t ever let anything or anyone tell you otherwise.’
Jasmine felt a little shy, being with Zack almost felt like being under a spotlight. But under that spotlight she wasn’t being judged, rather being adored for who she was, it was confusing indeed.
The rest of the evening eased onto small talk, talk much more comfortable and soon they were walking through the busy streets of Leeds heading for the car. The ride back to Jasmine’s house was a little quiet, each one deep in their own thoughts. When the car finally pulled out outside the house Jasmine felt a sudden panic. There was something in the air, something they both felt but were not sure how to say it. But it was Zack who finally broke the silence.
‘Can I come in?’ he asked.
Jasmine knew that was coming, what had she expected? He was her boyfriend, at some point he would want to come in, touch her and be with her. There were so many things swirling around in her mind that she felt as if her heart would stop.
‘The real me lives in there,’ she said finally.
‘I want to know the real you,’ he said gently. ‘I think I’m falling for the real you.’
She felt her heart swell; she was falling for him too but what about all the crazy that went on behind her door. What would he think of her, and it wasn’t like she was going to change in a split second.
‘It will be okay, I promise.’ He stepped out of the passenger seat and walked round to her side.
He opened the door and held out his hand, she hesitated but then knew that there was nothing to fear. It was in his eyes, they told her to trust him, allow him in. As they took steps towards the house that voice disappeared and was clouded by fear. Fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment and the more she tried to resist the more apparent it became.
‘I can’t,’ she said once they stopped at the door. ‘I can’t show you that part of me.’
He lifted her hand to his chest and looked into her eyes. That said it all and without much thought Jasmine pulled the keys from her bag and put them into the keyhole. She shut her eyes knowing very well that the minute she stepped into the house she would have to turn the key back and forth to make sure it was locked. Did she really want him to see that part of her?
The door unlocked and she stepped in and Zack stepped in behind her. She pushed the door closed, placed the latch on and put the key into the keyhole. She leaned against the door in darkness and turned the key once but couldn’t resist the urge to turn it back and forth. She scrunched her eyes closed with her other hand against the door and began to turn the key back and forth. She felt him move closer and his hand touched hers and together they were turning the key back and forth. His lips gently touched her neck, his hand not moving from hers. She gasped at the feeling, the soft touch of his lips and slowly and surely the turning back and forth of the key stopped.
Jasmine reached for the light to the left of the door and again the urge to switch it off and on overwhelmed her. But that didn’t stop him, instead he kept his hand over her hand and as she switched the light off and on, his hand simply followed her lead. Jasmine shut her eyes and let his tender lips explore her outer neck. It sent shivers down her spine that exploded between her legs. She’d never felt this way with anyone and although it was a new feeling it was the best feeling in the world.
‘I...’ she stopped flicking the light and turned towards him.
‘Ssssh, its okay,’ he whispered and cupped her chin in his hand. ‘It’s okay.’
Jasmine felt safe and okay even though there was the urge to pull away and run. But Zack took her by the hand and directed her up the stair as if he knew where he was going.
‘Show me to your bathroom,’ he said.
Jasmine pulled on his hand and they turned right into the bathroom. He turned around so that she was directly looking into his eyes. He smiled tenderly and took her face into his hands.
‘I haven’t done this before and I don’t think I can.’ She felt weak and yet there was still fear.
‘We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’ll have a shower, get clean with you and you can decide from there what you wish to do. I promise not to hurt you. I won’t do anything you don’t want to do.’
His words melted the fear and soon she found herself relaxing and trusting the flow of life, trusting that this man would be what she needed. He carefully undressed her and allowed her to fix the clothing while he turned the taps to the shower. He stepped in and waited patiently while she made sure all the clothes were folded neatly and put into a pile where she found it comfortable.
Jasmine took two deep breaths before stepping into the same shower as him. He accepted her with his warm smile and calm eyes. She felt her body melt and all resistance left her. He lathered her body with shower gel and she took in each sensation; the way his hand lowered down the middle of her back, the way he cupped her ample bum with his hands. And then she felt him, up close and felt the hardness leaning against her bum. She let out a light sound of pleasure as Zack pressed his solid wand against her. He ran his hands forward and upwards so that he could take in her voluptuous breast. He took each nipple between his finger tips and pulled on them at the same time pressing his lips against her neck.
There was no room for the tormenting thoughts, Jasmine was caught up in the moment and she couldn’t remember how she’d moved from the shower to her bed. He towered over her with a sly smile on his face.
‘What?’ she asked shyly suddenly aware of her nakedness.
‘You are beautiful.’ He ran a hand down her wet glistening body.
Jasmine felt shy and yet she also felt the depth of his words. She was beautiful.
‘You’ve always been beautiful don’t ever forget that,’ he said as if reading her mind. ‘I love every part of you and I’m going to show you just how much.’
Zack started gently on her lips then lowered to her neck. He took the tip of her dark nipple between his teeth and pulled on it gently. Jasmine was too caught up in the emotion of it all to think of anything else. His tongue flickered against her erect nipple and she whimpered. All the locked up emotion and sexual tension had begun to release itself.
He moved down towards the middle of her stomach and planted short kisses all over her tummy. She giggled gently causing him to stop momentarily and wonder about her amusement.
‘I’m just happy,’ she said.
‘Well I’m glad.’ And he was, he was glad she wasn’t forcing away his hand or his mouth and so he took it a little further hoping she wouldn’t resist.
Finally his mouth landed between her legs. He widened her so that she was open to him. Jasmine shut her eyes unable to resist the sweet temptation that was between her. She felt the wet flicker of his tongue against her middle as it travelled down her swollen lips. He gently pushed a stiff tongue into her tight little hole and she cried with pleasure. Zack knew it was a delicate situation to which he would attune to her needs.
He lifted back up over her and asked, ‘Do you want to do this?’
She took a deep breath and shut her eyes for a second. The demand for him was more than the demand for an obsession. Even though it was there she couldn’t resist the man who towered over her. She looked directly into his eyes and nodded.
‘Yes, I do... but...’
He nodded knowing very well what was running through her mind. He stepped off her a moment and...
‘I do, I do want to...’ she panicked as she watched him leave the bedroom only to return with the clothes she’d neatly folded into a pile.
He pulled out his jeans and fiddled in the pocket and pulled out a condom.
‘I thought we might need this if I was lucky and it turns out I am.’ He smiled flapping the condom.
Jasmine giggled relieved.
‘Come help
me put this on.’ He towered over her again and pulled the wrapper off the rubber.
He gently guarded her hands over the rubber and then over his thickness. Their hands slowly rolled down the rubber sheath and he let out a satisfied moan.
‘If at any point you want me to stop, just say so and I will,’ he said gently and Jasmine felt warm all over. There was nothing more to fear she felt safe and secure in his arms.
He positioned himself so that his cock was directly against her pussy. He slowly began to work his way into the tight hole. Each inch he slotted into her she let out a moan and cry mixed with both pain and pleasure. It took a while but soon his thickness was swallowed into her tight walls. She grasped onto his shoulders with all her might as he moved in and out of her slowly and carefully. Zack felt the swell of his balls as he hit against her as he gave of himself. It wasn’t like anything he’d felt before and every moment spent with her got better and better.
‘Oh god yes! Ahahahah!’ Jasmine hadn’t felt this way; she hadn’t been taken by any man in her life.
‘Look at me,’ he whispered breathless. ‘I want to see you.’
Her eyes shot opened and she gazed into his eyes. Her mouth opened and gasped at the beauty of him. He smiled down at her and captured her beauty in his eyes like a camera would a moment. There was such vulnerability in those deep dark eyes that he knew he wanted to protect her and keep her safe.
‘I love you,’ he said as his pace increased a little bit.
Jasmine had adjusted to his thick cock and she took it all in. The man above her had just taken away her virginity and he loved her.
‘I love you too,’ she whispered back.
As he pushed into her making himself known, he rubbed a finger against her clit so she could appreciate more feeling. Sounds of joy and ecstasy emitted from her mouth as she allowed herself to have the first orgasm with a man.
‘That’s it, come for me,’ he kept his eyes focused on her and again rubbed the delicate place bringing about another wave of orgasm.
Zack satisfied her, he did things he didn’t know he could do. There was something freeing about being with her that made him try new things. And finally when he’d exhausted her giving her multiple orgasms, Zack let go and allowed himself to come too.
Jasmine lay oddly still as he rolled over. The reality of everything flooded in like a torrential storm. He moved across so that he was face to face with her but she didn’t move an inch.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked concerned.
‘I’ll be fine,’ she said still not moving.
‘Honey are you sure?’
She nodded and kept her eyes on the ceiling. There was no more talk between them and it didn’t matter how many times he asked, she still admitted to being okay. Finally in that position Jasmine fell asleep and soon Zack did the same.
****
There was the sound of water when Zack opened his eyes. He turned over and his eyes took in the time, it was five in the morning. He rolled back and fell asleep a little longer then woke up again as if suddenly realising. There was still the strange sound of water and this time when he looked at the clock it was five forty five. This time Zack pulled back the covers and followed the sound of the water.
He opened the door to the steamy bathroom and walked towards the shower. He knocked gently.
‘Honey are you coming out soon?’ he asked.
There was dead silence. Jasmine stood beneath the jet spray of water lathering her body for the umpteenth time.
‘Honey, are you okay? You’ve been in there for almost an hour?’ he tried again.
She lathered between her legs vigorously and then all around her body. Tears rolled down her eyes, it confused her that something so beautiful could make her feel so dirty. That she felt she’d been contaminated somehow.
‘Can I come in?’ he asked.
‘No!’ she said finally. ‘Just leave me alone!’ She banged against the glass, ‘leave me alone!’
‘Okay, okay honey; I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me.’ Zack moved out of the bathroom and went back to bed and waited.
It was six fifteen before she emerged from the shower. He sat up and smiled and she tried to smile back. This had been the part she hadn’t wanted him to see. A blanket of embarrassment wrapped around her as she drifted across to the wardrobe and began the hassle of finding clothes.
As she went through the routine of picking out an outfit, trying it on and then rejecting it, Zack’s mobile rang.
‘I’ll take that in the passage.’ He slipped out of the bed and reached for his phone. ‘Hello...’ she heard him say.
Even though she couldn’t see him there was distress in his voice and it brought panic to her own world too. It took a while for him to return but when he did he looked a little saddened.
‘It’s my sister, she’s having a bad day,’ he said as he sat down on the side of the bed. ‘I’d like to take you with me to see her,’ he added.
‘Me? Why?’ This time she pulled on a pair of jeans.
‘I think you’ll like her and she’ll like you too.’ He smiled. ‘And I promise I’ll make you feel as safe as I possibly can.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said.
‘For what honey?’
‘For the outburst in the shower; I’m so ashamed of myself right now.’
‘Listen to me,’ he stood up and was about to take her into his arms but noticed her flinch a little. ‘You have nothing to be sorry about, nothing.’ He smiled to reassure her.
He held out his hand and waited. It took her a while but soon she accepted and took his. He squeezed it gently and then let her go so she didn’t feel too pressured and want to break away.
‘I’ll go and have a shower and we can leave when you’re ready.
****
They left the house just after ten after Jasmine had carried out her usual routine and struggled over what to eat. It had helped having Zack’s easy going nature. They got into Wakefield another half an hour later and as soon as he parked the car there was a look of dread on her face.
‘You never told me we were going to the hospital.’ She freaked.
‘It’s a mental hospital and don’t worry you’ll be fine, look.’ He pulled out a box of latex gloves and handed a pair to her.
Jasmine looked at it strangely and took them cautiously. Zack did the same for himself and next he pulled out a box of surgical masks and handed her one.
‘Are you serious?’
‘Yes,’ he took one for himself as if it was the normal thing to do.
‘We’re going to look like the strangest people in there.’
‘I promise you, you won’t. Trust me.’ He stepped out of the car and walked around to her side. ‘Come on my lady,’ he teased.
Jasmine hesitated but soon stepped out and followed him to the hospital entrance.
‘You might want to suit up before you go in,’ he started to put on his gloves then put on the surgical mask.
‘This is insane, they’re going to look at us like we’re insane.’
‘No, the staff are used to me doing this, besides my sister won’t see me otherwise.’
She frowned.
‘She won’t let me touch her or do anything unless I suit up so I’ll do as she asks. I suggest you do the same.’ He winked.
Feeling a little ridiculous she put on the gloves followed by the mask and followed Zack into the hospital. They were directed straight to Claire’s room. To have said a bad day was an understatement alright. When they walked into the room Claire was pacing and everything had been tipped upside down. She stopped the moment they stepped in.
‘Don’t come any closer, I have to clean this all up first,’ said Claire.
Jasmine gazed at the woman who seemed frantic and then at Zack who seemed as calm as day. He nodded and waited while Claire began to pick up the things she’d tossed aside. There was a lamp, books, pens and paper. There were also some clothes and bedcovers that had landed in the dirt pile. B
ut soon she was putting all away and folding it neatly and repeatedly.
‘What happened sis? Bad day?’ He moved a little forward and she allowed him to take her into his arms.
She seemed to calm down in his arms and finally he got her to sit down and talk to him.
‘Who’s this?’ she nodded over at Jasmine.
‘That is Jasmine, she’s my girlfriend.’
The woman with the same dark hair and blue eyes as Zack’s gazed at Jasmine and then smiled lightly.
‘I like her, she’s nothing like Kimberly.’
Kimberly had only visited once and vowed never to go back again; it had been a total disaster.
‘It’s nice to meet you Jasmine, I’m Claire.’ Claire proffered her hand.
Jasmine gave her the gloved hand and it was as if she was greeting herself. For the first time she saw it as light as day, although not severe. It was certainly something she noticed in Claire that was in her.
‘So what made you so upset?’ asked Zack.
‘That stupid nurse, she took away some of my things.’
‘Why?’
‘She thought I might hurt myself with them.’
‘What things were those?’
‘My fork and headbands to tie up my hair. Those were my things.’
‘I’ll see if I can’t speak to them and ask them to give the things back.’ Zack understood his sister more than anyone else did. He knew what she would and wouldn’t do and he had provided those things for her knowing very well she would be fine.
They had short discussions and at times Claire would go into a world of her own. It sent so many questions swirling around Jasmine’s head and as she watched Zack she began to understand his patience with her. He’d been through it; she could see a part of herself in Claire.
‘Sorry you’ll have to excuse me,’ Jasmine said and headed for the door and then out of the hospital.
It was all too overwhelming, something had been wrong with her for a very long time, and it had taken a trip to her boyfriend’s sister to realise it. Had she known all along and just denied it, hoping to cope on her own? She’d held down a job, her life was okay but the more she thought about it the more she realised everything.