A SEAL's Purpose

by Cora Seton

  “Uh…”

  At first Kai thought she’d say no. He knew how busy she was helping with the chores at the manor and preparing for the Halloween masquerade ball as well.

  “Yes,” she said.

  He’d noticed she did her best to be accommodating. In fact, Kai thought as he scrubbed at a particularly encrusted pan, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever heard her say no.

  Funny.

  “Is something happening I should know about?” she interrupted his musings.

  “Just want to spend some time with my future wife,” he said lightly.

  “Okay.” She turned away, which made Kai wonder—again—what her thoughts about marriage really were. They’d gotten stuck in a holding pattern in which they spent a lot of time together prepping and cleaning up from meals but never talked about the future.

  At first Kai had wanted to give Addison time to settle into the reality of the show. If she’d come thinking the setup was fake, then he needed to give her a chance to adjust her ideas. When he’d asked her to make a commitment to staying, she had. But not convincingly enough. Something wasn’t right, and it was time for them to take the conversation deeper. He had to know if she was going to marry him.

  Kai blamed the presence of the cameras for their lack of real communication, which was why he’d asked Curtis to try to organize a distraction. He needed time alone with Addison if their relationship was going to progress.

  When they were done with the post-meal cleanup, Kai led the way outside. Addison followed, and after her came the camera crew, who angled around to try to get ahead of them so they weren’t filming their backs.

  Curtis, still sitting at the fire pit with Angus and Jericho, leaped to his feet and shouted, “Holy shit!” pointing at the distant line of trees. He took off running, Daisy yipping and barking at his heels. Angus and Jericho followed.

  The camera crew peeled off after them.

  “Come on.” Kai grabbed Addison’s hand and began to run as well, but in the opposite direction. He made a quick stop at his tent and grabbed a pack he’d prepared, slung it over his shoulder and dashed with her down the track toward Pittance Creek. Halfway there, he steered them off and raced through the trees parallel to the running water. He knew a camera crew would eventually look for them at the creek where the track connected to it, but he also knew the crew members weren’t particularly adventurous. They wouldn’t bushwhack through the woods to find them.

  When they were out of sight of the others, he slowed to a walk, suddenly conscious Addison was fighting to breathe. She wasn’t dressed for jogging.

  “You okay?”

  “Give me a minute.”

  “I forgot about your corset.”

  “No wonder women used to faint all the time,” Addison said, but her breathing was slowing and she smiled.

  He took her arm and began to walk at a leisurely pace along the side of the creek until they’d reached an area far from where Base Camp’s inhabitants usually strayed.

  She waited for him to open his pack, pull out a blanket and spread it on the ground. “Are you going to explain that headlong dash?”

  “No cameras,” he said simply.

  She raised an eyebrow. Was she wondering if he planned to seduce her?

  He hoped to, but slowly. He didn’t expect her to make love to him today. Despite the impression she’d given on first arriving at Base Camp, Kai had learned Addison wasn’t impetuous. She thought through her decisions, and he had a feeling she’d take her time with a man before offering herself to him. He wouldn’t have expected that from a woman who knit surf caps.

  He wouldn’t mind speeding things up, though. He had so much desire pent up his frustration made it hard to think these days. When she bent to take a seat on the blanket, Addison’s breasts plumped up and it was all he could do not to reach out to trace a finger along the neckline of her dress. He’d like nothing better than to get naked with her and become acquainted with her body.

  Instead, he handed her a pair of binoculars, and she took them with a bemused smile as he pulled another pair out of his backpack for himself.

  “We’re looking for cyanocitta stellari. Stellar’s Jays,” he explained, giving the common name. “And anything else we happen to see. I’ve got my notebook.” He pulled that out, too. “Maybe we can add something to my list.”

  He sat down and patted the blanket beside him. A moment later, Addison joined him, taking off her bonnet and smoothing the long skirts of her Regency gown out around her.

  They lay on their backs, and he showed her how to work the dials to focus the lenses, enjoying the excuse to touch her hands. They were small and shapely. Delicate yet strong. Just like Addison. He squashed the urge to lift one to his lips in an old-fashioned gesture. He didn’t want to spook her even if they’d kissed before.

  He knew Addison watched him when she thought she could get away with it. Knew she enjoyed their kisses. He wished he could get inside her brain and know what she was thinking right now. Where did she go in her mind when she grew quiet?

  “I can see the treetops so clearly. I never thought to just look up with a pair of binoculars before.”

  “Look at the moon sometime,” he told her.

  “I’d like that.”

  Kai scanned the treetops with his binoculars, content to let the quiet forest, the beautiful day and the pleasant activity do their work. When he spotted a black-capped chickadee on a branch some distance away, he helped Addison focus on it, too. It was a common bird, one he’d seen dozens of times, but he shared Addison’s joy in spying on something alive in its home territory. As time passed, they spotted several other species, as well.

  “When did you get interested in bird-watching?” Addison asked, tucked beside him, her head resting on his shoulder. He’d put his arm around her when they’d focused on a nuthatch and he hadn’t removed it. Addison seemed comfortable enough, and if his arm was threatening to go numb, it was a small price to pay for the closeness they were sharing.

  “When I started surfing, actually. Waterbirds were my gateway drug. Really had a thing for pelicans for a while there.”

  “Pelicans, huh?”

  “Got to be careful; they’ll drag you right off your board if you’re not careful,” he quipped.

  “You’re making that up.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Not much chance of spotting a pelican around here.”

  “No.”

  “Do you miss California?” she asked, turning her head to look at him.

  “No. Not really. I’m too involved with what we’re doing here. What about you? Is it going to be hard to leave Connecticut behind?”

  “Not Connecticut.”

  He waited. That hadn’t sounded like the end of a sentence.

  “I guess I always had it in my mind I’d live in Manhattan someday.”

  Kai held perfectly still, somehow aware that this was a crucial piece of information. She’d wanted to live in the city. Instead here she was in Montana, joining a sustainable community by volunteering to marry a stranger.

  Like so much about Addison, it didn’t add up.

  Kai thought about his own roundabout path to Chance Creek. His decision to join the Navy because of a desire to protect people. His decision to become a SEAL—as if becoming some sort of superman would help him stop anyone else from feeling pain.

  The SEALs had made him the man he was today, but while he was proud of the work he’d done with them, the experience had opened his eyes to how many children in this big world were at risk. Now he was approaching the problem from a different angle here at Base Camp. Trying to get a message out about food security. Hoping one day to have a bigger platform and the ability to write books, manuals and teaching resources.

  He wished he could help create a world where no child would ever end up hungry.

  His stomach tightened, a knee-jerk reaction that never went away when he thought of his past. He crushed the memories that sprung into his mind: waiti
ng for the apartment door to open. For his mother to come home. Keeping Grace inside. Watching the food in the cupboards dwindle.

  Then run out.

  Kai swallowed, determined to clear the thoughts from his mind, and knew it was time to broach the question he’d brought Addison here to ask, but when he turned to Addison, her slow breathing tickled his face. She had fallen asleep, and he didn’t have the heart to wake her. She’d been working as hard as any of them these past few days.

  Kai took the opportunity to drink in the sight of her. Addison had already changed him. Made him more aware of everything around him. Things were different when she was near. He felt more hopeful. He liked the idea of having someone to share his future with.

  It was like everything he needed was here in his arms. Tenderness rose within him as he watched Addison sleep. She was precious, and he wished he could tell her that. He couldn’t get enough of looking at her. He wanted—

  He wanted to make her his wife.

  Kai sucked in a breath and let it out again. The feeling had crept up on him. It was different from the infatuations he’d experienced before. He could see himself creating a life with Addison. Aging alongside her.

  Starting a family.

  His thoughts had never progressed that far with another woman.

  He must have moved, because when he looked again, Addison was looking back at him.

  “Did I fall asleep?”

  He nodded.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” He was glad she didn’t try to get up. He wanted to stay here. Like this. For as long as they were able. Preserve the moment before something interfered with it.

  He touched her cheek. “You needed a rest.”

  “I guess I did.”

  “Either that or I bored you with birds.”

  “You didn’t bore me with birds,” she said with a smile. “I like birds. I like looking for them—with you.”

  “Can I kiss you?” he asked.

  Her yes was buried against his mouth as he made his move, and Kai sighed inwardly, grateful for all the events that had led them both to this blanket on this piece of ground. The Universe had definitely gotten this right. When he slid his hand down to her hip and inched her closer, she came willingly, wriggling forward until they were pressed together, both of them lying on their sides.

  “You feel good,” she confessed when they came up for air.

  “So do you.” So good. It had been far too long since he’d had a woman in his life. Living like a monk wasn’t his style, but as soon as he’d come to Base Camp and started being filmed, he knew that anything he did could make or break his future. Now he wanted to toss all that caution to the wind. And why not? He didn’t have much time to get himself to the altar.

  He took a chance, moved his hand and caressed Addison’s shapely bottom through the fabric of her dress. She didn’t pull back. In fact, she moved even closer to him.

  That was all the answer he needed. She felt the attraction, too, and if he wasn’t mistaken, she wanted him to act on it.

  But this dress…

  Kai pulled back and examined it with a frown. “How do I get this thing off?”

  “Honestly? It’s a pain in the ass. And we don’t have a lot of time, do we?” She got up on her knees and turned around. “Just undo those ties back there and loosen the neckline.”

  Kai did so, and Addison tugged at her dress, fished inside the neckline—

  And lifted her breasts free of the fabric of her chemise.

  She looked up. “I really hope this is what you were angling for. If not, I’m going to put these girls away and leave on the next plane out of Chance Creek.”

  “This is exactly what I was angling for,” he told her. Moving to kneel in front of her, he skimmed both hands up over her waist and higher until he cupped her breasts. “Has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful, Addison Jones?”

  She didn’t answer that, but her breath caught when he slid his thumbs over her nipples and bent down to taste her. Addison closed her eyes and arched back to give him better access, and for the next few minutes he devoted all his attention to making her feel good. She was easy to please, and her soft sighs brought his body to full attention.

  She lifted her hands to the top button of his shirt, and when she’d succeeded in undoing all of them, he pulled her into a rough embrace, loving the feel of her breasts against his chest. Soon he laid her back on the blanket, ducked under her skirt and went exploring.

  “Kai—oh,” Addison said when his kisses trailed up her thighs to the sweet spot between her legs. He peeled down her panties, got out of her way so she could get them off and came back to enjoy her even more. Judging by the sounds she made, Addison was all too happy to let him. She was soft, open to him, trusting him so completely it turned him on even more.

  “Kai, I want you,” Addison said some minutes later, and he didn’t need to be told twice. He kicked off his boots, pants and boxer briefs, knelt between her legs and nearly came undone when she reached out and took the length of him in her hand. Braced there, it was his turn to close his eyes and give in to her ministrations. Her soft but firm touch soon had him in a desperate way.

  When he couldn’t hold on any longer, he kneed her thighs farther apart, pushed her dress up to her waist, eased into position and nudged against her. He let his eyes do the questioning. Watched her for her answer.

  “Yes,” she said.

  He still hesitated. “Protection?”

  “I’m on the Pill. Kai—” She put her hands on his hips and tugged him closer.

  Pushing into her felt like coming home, and it took every ounce of his concentration to pull back and push in again. Addison was so hot. So sweet. So thoroughly with him as he stroked inside her. They found their rhythm, a strong pace of lifted hips and deep thrusts that soon had them both breathing hard. Determined to ride her all the way to an orgasm, Kai kept hold of himself, kept hold of his rhythm and worked in and out of her until Addison leaned back and gave a cry.

  That unashamed sound of pleasure pulled him right over with her and they came together, his guttural grunts mixing with her sexy cries until they both collapsed in exhaustion.

  Kai wrapped his arms around her, still inside of Addison, wanting to prolong the closeness. She clung to him just as tightly, even when her breathing slowed.

  “I’m crushing you,” he said finally and pulled out, rolling to one side, bringing her with him. Her eyes were luminous, and he thought he saw an echo of the joy she’d brought to him there. “What?” he asked. “What are you thinking?”

  “I want to do it again.”

  Addison had never felt like this after lovemaking. Energized. Charged up rather than depleted. Her body ached to feel Kai inside her again.

  “Again? Like… now?”

  “Yes.” She loved saying it freely; not because of Felicity’s rules. She didn’t feel shy or embarrassed about what her body needed when she was with Kai. She refused to think about what the future might bring. Right now, this was all she wanted.

  “I could go for that.”

  His answer was humorous, but she thought she heard wonder in his voice. Was he realizing—as she was—that maybe he’d found someone so compatible that lovemaking, like everything else they did, was easy?

  She rolled away from him, flipped her skirts up and got on her hands and knees. Kai needed no more encouragement. In a flash he was behind her, hard again, bumping up against her in a way that made her buzz with desire to feel him inside her again. Hooking an arm around her, he had perfect access to her breasts, too. He tested the weight of them in his hand and groaned.

  “God, you are so sexy.”

  She sighed as he played with her breasts with one hand and dipped his other between her legs, teasing her until she arched and moaned, the wonderful sensations nearly overwhelming her.

  The only warning that he was about to enter her was the way he shifted behind her suddenly. Then he lodged between her legs an
d slid slowly in.

  Addison gasped, feeling the length of him—and the girth—more acutely from this angle. His slow strokes, combined with the way he was still playing with her breasts, soon had her panting, pressing back against him. Wanting more.

  Needing more.

  She needed Kai, she realized. She had no idea what that meant for her plans—or for his. She’d never meant to come to Montana. Couldn’t imagine a life away from the East Coast. Didn’t know—

  But, oh, being with him felt so good.

  Kai increased the pace of his thrusts, and Addison clutched the rough blanket between her fingers, giving herself up to the sensations he was bringing to life. As he moved behind her, working in and out, the heat inside her flared to an irresistible flame. She couldn’t believe the way he made her feel. Couldn’t stop this if she’d wanted to; her body wanted Kai. Needed him. Craved the friction he was creating inside her.

  She lost control just moments before he did, and they came together a second time, the sensations rolling through her in waves until she finally collapsed facedown on the blanket. Kai pulled out a final time and turned her over to gather her into the protection of his arms.

  “I’m not letting you go,” he whispered into her hair. “You hear me, Addison? I need you.”

  She knew what he meant. She didn’t want to let go, either. But staying meant taking a flying leap into a future she’d never planned for. How did you change your plans midstream?

  But how could she leave Chance Creek and live—

  Without Kai?

  Chapter Eight

  ‡

  As they dressed and made their way slowly back to the bunkhouse, Kai once more wished he could read Addison’s mind. She held his hand tightly, as if trying to keep the connection between them, but her face was a study of worry and doubt that sent his stomach sinking.

  Together, they’d been amazing. Moving into a rhythm so easily. Bringing each other such pleasure without any awkwardness or missteps. What had her so worried?