ADAM: A Bad Boy Romance (The ALPHAbet Collection Book 1)

by Abigail Stark

  I heard the door open and thought I didn’t want to be seen like that, but I couldn’t move. I recognized the voice as Mimi’s. She was yelling. Suddenly Adam was gone, and she was holding me. I wrapped my arms around her and smelled the familiar scent of her shampoo.

  The tears redoubled their efforts. I held onto Mimi like she was a life raft and I was at sea. She could have told me that she had told me so. That I was asking for it. That I got what was coming to me, but she didn’t.

  She just let me cry.

  10

  Adam

  Mornings with Natasha were her pretending to be asleep, so I could leave without saying goodbye. God, why wasn’t she my girlfriend? We were practically the same person. But I wanted to leave that morning more than most. After I had left the bathroom at The Bridge that night, she and I had gone back to her place.

  Natasha had pulled my dick out and started sucking it when we got to the bedroom. The room was dark, so I couldn’t really see her. If I closed my eyes and she didn’t say anything, I could just imagine she was someone else. I could imagine she was Dana.

  What the hell was wrong with me? Imagining a girl with blond hair didn’t automatically mean it was Dana. Lots of girls had blond hair. Even her roommate had blond hair. No. It wasn’t Dana. Just a girl who looked exactly like her, whose hair felt like silk and lips were soft and…

  Fuck, it was Dana.

  What the hell was going on? Natasha wasn’t my girlfriend or anything but why the hell would I be thinking about a girl who wasn’t even there when one was here with my cock down her throat? That whole night, fucking Natasha was harder than usual. Usually, nothing stood in my way. Not the fact that she had a boyfriend, not her ugly little dog barking and trying to jump up onto the bed, nothing.

  She had laid back on the bed and pulled me on top of her. I had sat up and flipped her over. If she kept her back to me, didn’t turn around and didn’t talk I could pretend she was Dana. I fucked her from behind. God, why was she so loud? There was no way she would pass for Dana even with my eyes closed. Dana was smaller, her skin was different, her hair was different, and she smelled different.

  I never thought the day would come, but it had. I had to do something drastic.

  I faked an orgasm.

  I had a condom on. Natasha wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

  I grabbed her hips and started thrusting faster. She squealed, telling me how much she liked it. I told her I was close and grunted, slowing down, sticking her with a couple of last, deep, long thrusts. I retreated to the bathroom to get rid of the condom. I looked down. Fuck. Still hard. I didn’t want to take a cold shower. How long would it take to rub one out?

  I grabbed the long, thick length of my cock in my fist and stroked. Natasha was right in the other room. Why couldn’t she do this for me? I shut my eyes remembering that it wasn’t her hands, or mouth or anything else I wanted around my cock.

  I saw Dana’s face, her eyes looking up at me when I was on top of her on her bed. They were that green that could be cold and piercing when she was mad at you but deep and entrancing every other time. God, her lips were like cushions, like clouds or some shit. Soft. What if she hadn’t stopped me? What if she’d let me take her pants off… slide her panties to the side and—?

  Just like that, I came. All over the ‘his and hers’ sinks in Natasha and Tommy’s ensuite master bathroom.

  I was gone before Natasha was up the next morning. I passed by the house to clean up and get ready for work. I hopped in the shower and changed my clothes, not bothering to shave. Checking my phone, I saw a couple of messages from Lawson telling me that there was a fight coming up soon in Huntington Beach and that we should go. There was another from Anthony asking me to call him.

  I dialed the number and waited for him to pick up.

  “Adam,” he said.

  “Hey. Sorry I missed your call, I was tied up last night,” I said, the reel of last night’s events flashing through my head.

  “I got the money for Lawson’s debt.” I closed my eyes. Thank fuck, this shit with Hanley and Martin was nearly over.

  “Awesome. When can I come and get it from you?”

  “No need. I saw Lawson last night. I gave it to him directly. He tried to put up a fight but took it eventually. He may be hard-headed, but he knows what’s good for him.”

  “Last night? When? Where?”

  “The Bridge. I was there last night with Mimi and her roommate. Lawson said you were there together, but you were in the bathroom or something when I was talking to him.”

  Mimi? Dana’s roommate Mimi? The one who’d come into the bathroom last night? That Mimi? What was she doing with Anthony? What was either of them doing with Anthony?

  “Mimi?” I asked.

  “Yeah. My girlfriend. Anyway. Do me a favor and make sure the money actually gets to whoever he owes.”

  Anthony had a point. Lawson wasn’t above trying to skip town, or buying a new car, or blowing the whole amount in a casino.

  “I’ll do that. Thanks.”

  I ended the call. I thought Anthony said his girlfriend was called Mandy? I shrugged and headed for the door. Whoever she was, Mandy or Mimi, she had stormed into that bathroom like a fucking S.W.A.T team. She’d been fuming.

  The saddest part about that night was that I couldn’t tell you exactly what it was that I had wanted from Dana when I followed her in there. Of course, I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t know what I would logistically be able to get done. Kiss her? Fuck her? Tell her I wanted her to come home with me? I hadn’t gotten any of it done because she had pushed me away from her like she was under attack.

  Dana in that goddamn bathroom.

  What the fuck had happened last night? I’d never been so scared in my life. I thought she was going to collapse or something. She’d crumpled like a piece of paper. She’d cried like she’d just lost a son. Like her fucking heart was broken. I was holding her before I knew I’d moved. She’d looked like she might break. Smash like a mirror.

  I felt like a dick. An entire bag of dicks. She looked… broken, and I was the one who’d made her feel like that. Women used tears as weapons; they immobilized men. Made them feel guilty and protective. I wasn’t in the habit of making women cry, but Dana hadn’t just cried. She’d been sobbing. Her whole body shook; she looked like she’d hit the floor at any second.

  Dammit.

  That was it. Dana and I… there was no longer a ‘Dana and I.’

  The shit had barely had enough time to get off the ground, but it was never flying again. It could have been beautiful. Fuck. It could have been great. All I wanted was the sex. All I had wanted that evening at her dad’s house was to hold the girl down and give it to her the way I wanted to. The way she wanted me to—judging by her reaction.

  But then she had to go and read me the terms and conditions. All I wanted was some fun, her perfect lips around my cock, but instead, what I’d gotten was a fucking ultimatum. All I wanted was for her to sit on my face, not to get a fucking apartment together.

  I couldn’t lie though. When she’d cried, I’d felt about a foot tall. I’d held on to her, told her it would be alright, apologizing for something, everything. It felt like shit thinking I had made her that upset. Upset was an understatement. I just thought about how beautiful she looked and sounded when she laughed and how miserable she was in that bathroom. Was it Natasha? Was she jealous? Because if she was, Tash could hit the road.

  Shit, she had a boyfriend, she needed to hit the road. The other thing that got me was my mom used to cry like that. The first time I had found her crying she had been in her room. I was just a little kid, worried and confused by the sight of his mother crying all alone on her bed. She had just grabbed me and hugged me tightly, her tears getting on my skin and in my hair.

  I think it was because I was so young that I didn’t notice the black eye that time. I cottoned on as I got older. The piece of shit guy she was dating had been beating on her. I had be
en fucking livid. Why would she stay with a guy who was doing that to her? Who was making her cry like that?

  Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? You couldn’t even ask Dana that because I had been the one who went to her. Shit, crying like that must take years off your life.

  I had to do something. I couldn’t just act like I hadn’t seen her completely break down in front of me because of something I had said. What had I even said though? I had no fucking clue, but I knew I needed to fix this.

  I rolled up to Dana and Mimi’s house.

  I didn’t need to ring the bell because they’d probably heard the bike. Mimi flung the door open as I approached.

  “What do you want?” she snapped.

  “I came to see Dana.”

  “She doesn’t want to see you.”

  Ouch. That hurt. Why did that hurt? Instead of saying okay and leaving, like I should’ve, I kept talking.

  “Did she tell you she didn’t want to see me?”

  “No. I’m telling you. Now leave.” She began closing the door. I stopped her, holding it open from the outside. She glared at me, and I let go of the door; I wanted to see Dana, but I also wanted to keep all my fingers.

  “I just want to know whether she’s okay.”

  Mimi’s eyes flashed with anger. I knew I’d said the wrong thing.

  “You want to know whether she’s okay? You want to know whether she’s okay?”

  What was with the women in that damn house? Were they synced? Was it that time of the month? I took a step back, partly out of respect, and partly because I thought that if she did strike, she’d choose somewhere sensitive, like the eyes, or worse—my balls.

  “She was upset yesterday. I wanted to know whether she was feeling better.”

  Still the wrong thing to say.

  “Upset? Are you really that clueless?”

  God. What a bitch.

  “Hey,” I said, holding the door with my hand. “Dana’s a grown woman. You can’t control who she sees.”

  “This is a private home buddy. Go away before I call the cops.”

  “All I want to do is talk to her. What the fuck?”

  “You’re incredible. You don’t even know why that’s an outrageous request.”

  “You’re right. I don’t. Why don’t you enlighten me?”

  She stepped outside, closing the door behind her.

  “Whatever you thought you were going to get from Dana, she made you work for. She wouldn’t let you hit it and quit it like one of your many random girlfriends.”

  “I don’t have a—” I stopped myself that time.

  “You both agreed that you couldn’t be together.”

  “I didn’t agree to anything.”

  “Yes, you did! You were with that girl at the bar. You looked Dana right in the eye while she sat in your lap licking your face. That was you telling her that you knew you couldn’t be together. How dare you go after her when you showed up with another woman!”

  She was yelling. Chewing me out, and I was going to let her. I respected myself enough to shut the fuck up and take it. No woman but my mother had ever yelled at me like that. I got the distinct feeling that this one did not like me very much. She had yelled at me the night before too, telling me to leave the ladies’ room or she’d scream. I’d left. The way she looked at me, I knew she’d do it. She was a tiny little blonde, but she had the presence of Amanda Waller, scolding Rick Flag like he was her son.

  “At least let me apologize to her.”

  “She doesn’t want to see you.”

  “She doesn’t want to, or you don’t want to?”

  “I don’t want to. Never come back here again. When you see Dana; walk the other way.”

  The door slammed in my face.

  11

  Dana

  Dana the dummy.

  Dana the dipshit.

  Dana the dimwit.

  Dana who got upset over a guy who had told her categorically that he didn’t want her. Dana who’d had a meltdown in front of this guy in the ladies’ room. Was this a dream? Could I wake up and all this would have just never happened?

  I had been morose since the bathroom incident.

  I didn’t even want to go to Dad’s because there was a chance he’d be there.

  I’d been rejected before. It wasn’t that. It was feeling like an object. He didn’t want anything from me but my tits and pussy, and maybe my mouth and butthole if he was into that kinda thing. He had had the gall to put his hands on me after we’d discussed it. It wasn’t that he’d rejected me. It was that feeling of complete depersonalization. He wanted everything about me but me.

  I’d felt like that before. I’d been reduced to an object by a man before, my personhood dissected and selectively objectified. That experience had ended in charges being pressed and me relocating to San Diego. I’d felt like nothing, like a zombie. Like a ghost.

  I had never wanted to feel like that again but here the fuck I was once more. Crying. Broken. Pathetic. Over a guy.

  Mimi had given me a three-day period where I could mope unfettered. She wouldn’t try to stop me or convince me to buck up. It was my last day, and I was relishing my last moments of peace in bed before she came and declared it was time to get over it.

  My phone buzzed.

  I ignored it.

  It kept buzzing.

  I kept ignoring it.

  It wore me down after a few minutes, and I picked it up without checking who it was.

  “Hello,” I said hoarsely.

  “Dana? Is that you? What took you so long to answer?”

  “Jaden?” I croaked. The combination of crying and not otherwise speaking to anybody the whole day made me sound like an emphysema patient.

  “What the fuck happened to you—you sound like you’ve been swallowing dicks for the last three days.”

  Little brothers. God’s curse to older sisters everywhere.

  “I’m hanging up.”

  “Hey, come on. I’m sorry. I was kidding. What crawled up your ass and died?”

  “Goodbye Jaden,” I lowered the phone, about to abort the call. I heard him asking me to wait. I sighed and put it to my ear. “Yes?”

  “Shit, something really happened didn’t it?”

  “Jay, you called me, so I’m going to guess it is because you want to tell me something.”

  “What happened?”

  I sighed.

  “Dane... he didn’t find you, did he?”

  “No Jay, he didn’t find me, he’s on probation or in a cell somewhere. I’m fine.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “Do you want something?”

  “Yeah. I called to tell you that Chloe is moving in with me.” Chloe was Jaden’s girlfriend. My brother was sickeningly perfect. Therefore, Chloe was as well. She had shiny hair and straight teeth. She was the kind of girl that really got along with children and pets. The kind of girl that had a cute euphemism for her vagina, like her pie or her biscuit.

  “That’s great Jay,” I said, already knowing what the next question was.

  When I’d had to leave my apartment in Los Angeles, I had let Jaden take over the lease because he was looking for somewhere to live that was close to his school, but off campus. It was really a matter of me getting out of there; I didn’t care who took the house over, but I was happy Jaden did.

  “Thanks. I just wanted to ask you about the books. Can you tell me your address so I can send them to you?”

  It was like Jaden’s words were the missing pieces of a puzzle that were lying unfinished in my head. I felt like Scarlett O’Hara when she’s all mopey in Gone with the Wind; then she gets hit with the bright idea to go back to Tara. I’d go back to Los Angeles. Jaden needing me at this particular time to collect the last of my library so he and Chloe could move in together was the perfect cover story.

  It was perfect.

  Why hadn’t I thought of it before?

  When at a loss, run away. I’d done it before, and
it had turned out great… apart from the part where Adam had entered the picture.

  “Oh, no need Jay. I was planning a visit up there.”

  “You were?”

  “Yeah. I miss you guys,” I lied.

  “No, you don’t Dana, tell the truth.” It was because we were born so close together. It had to be. He could read me like a book, even over the phone. We were really close as kids. He had always been big and burly from sports, so he had used to beat kids up in school that bullied me. During Mom and Dad’s divorce, I had let him sleep in my room, neither of us particularly wanting to be alone.

  “Jaden, I’m not having this conversation with you.”

  He was silent.

  “Have you told Dad about the—”

  “No… no, I haven’t told him.”

  “Are you going to?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You should. He deserves to know.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “Have you called Mom yet?”

  “No. I haven’t planned the trip out yet. I’ll probably just stay at a hotel.”

  There was a pause before we both burst into laughter. That was funny. Evangeline Weinstein would have a conniption if she found out I was in LA and had chosen to stay in a hotel instead of at the house with her.

  “You should come back by the apartment to talk. Chloe really likes you… I mean, if you feel comfortable coming back.”

  “I have to come back; I want my books.”

  “I can bring them over to Mom and Frank’s.”

  “Don’t. Stop trying to shield me from that place, Jay. I don’t need it. I’ll tell you when I get to LA, and we can figure out what day is good for me to collect my stuff.”

  I heard him sigh.

  “Okay. I’ll stop. See you soon?”

  I told him I would and hung the phone up. I climbed out of bed, anticipating Mimi’s imminent arrival to rouse me from my catatonia. Just as I thought, she was in the kitchen, preparing her peace offering. My jaw dropped when I saw what it was.