The Getaway (Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book 12)

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The Getaway (Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book 12) Page 5

by Jeff Kinney


  seemed to me that there was nowhere to go but UP.

  99

  Wednesday

  I probably could’ve slept for fourteen hours, but

  I was awake at the crack of dawn because of the

  racket a bunch of tropical birds were making right

  outside my window.

  When I got out of bed, Mom was already awake.

  She said Dad spent all night in the bathroom

  and that we needed to leave so he could catch up

  on his sleep.

  I was definitely ready for a fresh start, so I

  put on my bathing suit and headed for the door.

  But Mom said me and Rodrick needed to make our

  beds and straighten up the room.

  100

  I reminded Mom that we were on vacation, and

  the maid service would handle that for us. But she

  said that we weren’t gonna live like ANIMALS

  just because we were on vacation.

  I told Mom that the best part of being on

  vacation was having someone else clean up after

  you, but Mom said that this week we were gonna

  clean up after OURSELVES. Then she put the

  “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door so the maid

  wouldn’t even come into the room.

  101

  I asked Mom how we were supposed to get clean

  towels and sheets, and she said we’d wash them in

  the bathroom sinks, the same way we were washing

  our clothes.

  So Mom wasn’t joking around about us doing our own

  laundry. In fact, Manny was in the sink scrubbing

  a pair of Dad’s underwear, and I’m pretty sure he

  was using Rodrick’s toothbrush to do it.

  Personally, I think the best thing about staying

  in a hotel is getting clean towels and sheets every

  day. But Mom said hotels go through a ton of

  laundry detergent, and if we reused our towels and

  sheets, we’d be saving the environment.

  102

  That’s when I noticed there were cards all over

  the bathroom that made you feel guilty about

  asking for clean stuff.

  Mom said we should all head down to the beach,

  but I wanted to hang back and take a shower.

  The truth is I wanted to take my TIME in

  there, and I knew if she was in the suite, she’d

  hassle me about using too much hot water.

  103

  What was crazy about the shower was that it was

  completely open to the outdoors. It took a minute

  to get USED to that, because I was worried

  someone might peek over the wall.

  I guess there are people who are comfortable

  being naked right out in the open, but trust me,

  I’m not one of them.

  I don’t think it’s right that you’re BORN

  naked, because right away you’re put in an

  embarrassing situation.

  104

  Once I got used to this open-air shower thing,

  though, I was ADDICTED. The shower had

  all these different settings, like “pulse” and

  “massage.” I tried out every single one, but

  “rainfall” was probably my favorite.

  I must’ve stayed in there for forty-five minutes.

  When I was done, I stepped out of the shower

  and put on my robe. But when I tried to put on

  my right slipper, there was something blocking

  my foot.

  105

  I held the slipper up and shook it, and a giant

  SPIDER dropped out.

  This was no ORDINARY spider, though. That

  thing was as big as my HAND. When it fell to

  the floor, I climbed up on the sink so I wasn’t

  on the same level as it.

  106

  I’ve had a thing about spiders ever since I was

  seven years old. One summer when I was in our

  garage, I found something in the corner that

  looked like a cotton ball, and I poked it with a

  broom handle.

  Well, it wasn’t a cotton ball. It was an EGG SAC,

  and it was filled with thousands of baby SPIDERS.

  When I started school in the fall, the teacher had

  us fill out worksheets where one of the questions

  was what we wanted to be when we grew up.

  Everybody wrote “astronaut” and “veterinarian” and

  and stuff like that. But not ME.

  107

  Nowadays, whenever I see a spider, it takes me

  right back to when I was seven. I don’t even like

  READING about spiders.

  I’ll tell you this—if I were one of the characters

  in “Charlotte’s Web,” it would’ve been a very

  short book.

  108

  I figured with MY luck, the giant spider on

  the bathroom floor was VENOMOUS. I’ve

  read that some spiders bite their prey, then

  wrap them up so they can eat them alive, which

  does NOT sound like a whole lot of fun.

  For some reason, the spider wasn’t making a move.

  Either it thought it was camouflaged on the marble

  floor and I couldn’t SEE it, or it was trying to

  figure out what to do next, just like I was.

  I thought about throwing my slipper at it, but I

  was nervous I might miss and make it MAD. And

  even if I DID hit it, the slipper probably wouldn’t

  have done any damage to this thing.

  109

  I called out for Dad to come help me, but all

  I got back was a weak groan from his bedroom.

  That’s when I remembered the PHONE. I dialed

  911

  , but I just got some prerecorded message.

  The phone had all these other buttons, but none

  of the options were a great fit for the situation

  I was in. So I pressed the one for “Room

  Service,” because I figured that was close enough.

  110

  A lady answered, and I told her about the spider

  problem and how I needed her to send someone

  QUICK. But either I was talking too fast or

  there was some language confusion, because all she

  kept asking for was my BREAKFAST order.

  Eventually, I gave up and just ordered scrambled

  eggs and a side of bacon. I honestly didn’t care

  WHAT it took to get someone to come, as long as

  they came FAST.

  When I hung up the phone, the noise jolted the

  spider, which ran across the floor and stopped

  right in front of the sink.

  Now this thing was even CLOSER, and I was

  too scared to move.

  111

  I stood frozen for about fifteen minutes, barely

  breathing. But then the phone rang, and the sound

  surprised me so much I almost lost my balance.

  It was the room service waiter. He said he had

  come to our suite to deliver my food, but there

  was a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, so he

  turned around and went back to the kitchen.

  112

  I told him to come BACK to the room and that he

  had permission to kick down the door if he wanted.

  When I hung up the phone, the spider started

  running around again, and I was worried it was

  gonna figure out where I was and come get me.

  I looked around to see if there was anything I

  could use to DEFEND myself, but the only thing

 
; within arm’s reach was a glass on the sink.

  I realized that if the spider came close enough,

  I might be able to TRAP it. Sure enough, it ran

  right beneath me. And when it did, I managed

  to drop the glass on top of it.

  113

  The spider wriggled around inside the glass, but it

  couldn’t get OUT. I got down off the sink real

  slow and backed out of the bathroom, keeping one

  eye on the spider. But when I turned to leave, I

  smashed right into the WAITER.

  All the noise got the spider moving again, and

  it took the glass WITH it. At first I wasn’t

  worried, because it was still trapped inside. Then

  it crawled over the DRAIN where the floor

  dipped down a little, and that gave it just

  enough space to wiggle OUT.

  That’s when I found out the room service guy had

  the same problem with spiders that I did.

  I knew it was up to me to deal with this thing,

  so I tried to trap it with the cover for the food.

  But the spider was zigzagging all OVER the

  place, and it wasn’t easy.

  115

  Finally, I caught the spider by pinning it against

  the wall. I didn’t really know what to do NEXT,

  because the second I lifted the food cover, that

  thing was gonna be off and running again.

  Then I noticed that one of the spider’s legs was

  sticking halfway out from under the lid.

  I tried to move the lid to cover the whole spider,

  but I guess I pressed too hard, because the leg

  fell OFF.

  The spider dropped onto the floor, and now it

  was going NUTS. I was running around on my

  tiptoes, trying to make sure I didn’t get BIT.

  Then the spider made a HUGE mistake. It climbed

  onto the rim of the toilet, and I knocked it in

  the bowl with my slipper and slammed the lid shut.

  Then the room service guy finished it off.

  I gotta say, the two of us made a pretty good

  team. And if I ever DO start that exterminator

  business, I might have to look this guy up.

  117

  After my encounter with the spider, I was

  pretty eager to get out of the room. I grabbed

  the map of the resort to find my way to the

  beach, but I got lost and ended up at the wall

  that separates the two sides.

  I guess I understand why they’d wanna keep

  kids off the other side. But if you ask me, it kind

  of seemed like overkill.

  118

  I started to wonder if the room keys were

  actually tracking devices. That way, if any kids

  snuck over, they could put a stop to it.

  When I got to the beach, it was PACKED with

  families. I decided the real reason the wall was

  built was to protect the couples on the OTHER

  side from seeing what was happening on OUR side.

  Because if they knew what they were in for, there’s

  no CHANCE they’d have kids of their own.

  Mom had rented one of those covered cabanas for

  our family to share. I wasn’t crazy about the idea

  of sharing a BED with the rest of my family. But

  I talked myself into it, because at least I’d be

  out of the sun.

  120

  I remembered the beach cabanas from the video

  they played on the shuttle bus. They showed some

  couple having a romantic time watching the sun set.

  Well, maybe that’s how it was on the OTHER

  side of the resort, but on OURS, it was a

  whole different story.

  121

  Mom told me and Rodrick she was taking Manny

  to the bathroom and that we needed to stay in

  the cabana. Mom said she got the last one and if

  we gave it up, somebody else would grab it.

  One of the families that was waiting was WAY

  overdressed for the beach. I recognized the older

  kid from the Treasure Dive the day before. I

  guess nobody told these people you’re not supposed

  to wear winter clothes in ninety-degree weather.

  This family looked like they could really use some

  shade, and I felt kind of guilty. So I tried not to

  make eye contact.

  122

  Eventually, Mom and Manny came back, and Manny

  ran off to collect seashells.

  Mom broke out the sunscreen and started putting

  it on me and Rodrick. I was glad Dad wasn’t

  there, because he always gets mad when Mom does

  things for us that he thinks we should be able to

  do for OURSELVES.

  I actually think this is all part of Mom’s plan.

  I figure she doesn’t want us to become too

  independent, because then we won’t NEED her

  later on. I do think it could BACKFIRE on

  Mom, though.

  123

  Because if things keep going the way they’re

  going now, there’s a good chance me and Rodrick

  will go off to college not even knowing how to clip

  our own toenails.

  This is one of the ways animals are different from

  people. In school I learned that once a bear cub

  is about a year and a half old, its mother sends it

  out into the wild to take care of itself.

  124

  But human beings live with their parents for

 

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