The Getaway (Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book 12)

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The Getaway (Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book 12) Page 6

by Jeff Kinney

eighteen YEARS before they’re ready to go off

  into the world.

  If I’m ever a parent, I’m gonna be like the

  BEARS. First of all, I’m not gonna spend a lot

  of time teaching my kids useless information, like

  the ABCs and colors and shapes.

  The second my kid is old enough to cross the

  street safely and place an order at a fast-food

  restaurant, he’s gonna be out of the house.

  After Mom lathered Rodrick up, she told him he

  should go to the Teen Zone and try to connect

  with some kids his age.

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  I didn’t think Rodrick would be interested, but he

  went to check it out. That got Mom all excited,

  and she said I should hang out with the tweens,

  who were on the beach doing a scavenger hunt.

  But it was pretty obvious to me that the “scavenger

  hunt” was really just a beach cleanup in disguise, and

  I didn’t want any PART in that.

  When Rodrick left I was glad, because that

  meant more room in the cabana for ME. But a

  minute later Dad showed up looking really pale.

  126

  I thought he might still be dealing with stomach

  issues, but it wasn’t that. He said when he went

  to use the toilet in our room, there was a giant

  SPIDER underneath the seat. So I guess we

  didn’t get rid of it after all.

  I asked Dad what happened NEXT, and he said

  he whacked the spider with a bathrobe that was

  on the floor. So there goes any chance I’m gonna

  wear THAT thing again.

  I asked him if he KILLED the spider, and he

  said he wasn’t sure. He said the spider VANISHED

  after he hit it.

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  Well, Dad’s story pretty much guaranteed that I

  wouldn’t be using our BATHROOM again, either.

  Luckily, there was an outdoor shower by the pool.

  Dad seemed pretty shaken up by what happened

  with the spider, and Mom said he should lie

  down and take a few deep breaths. That’s when

  Manny came back with his beach pail, and he

  showed Mom what he had collected.

  I think Mom was expecting there to be a bunch

  of seashells in the bucket, but it was filled to the

  brim with hermit crabs, snails, and all sorts of

  OTHER living things.

  128

  And now these creatures were crawling all over our

  MATTRESS.

  Mom scooped up the critters into the bucket

  and told Manny he couldn’t keep these things as

  PETS, but he didn’t seem to understand. Then

  she took the bucket down to the water to let

  them go.

  Mom needed a way to distract Manny, so she took

  him down to the Activities Hut to see what kind

  of stuff they had for little kids. I wanted to do

  more than just lie around in a cabana all day, so

  I tagged along with Mom.

  129

  The one activity I really had my heart set on was

  swimming with dolphins. And the main reason I

  wanted to do THAT was so I’d have something to

  rub in Rowley’s face when I got back home.

  But the guy at the Activities Hut said that

  swimming with dolphins was really popular and it

  was totally booked. Mom asked if we could sign up

  for the NEXT day, but the guy told her it was

  sold out for the whole WEEK.

  130

  That wasn’t the worst part, either. All the really

  FUN stuff, like jet skiing and parasailing, was

  only available on the Wild Side. And all the LAME

  activities were on the Mild Side.

  But Mom didn’t seem bothered. She signed us up

  for TWO activities, the banana boat and the

  turtle hatching.

  Mom was ESPECIALLY excited about the banana

  boat. She said we could use the picture as our

  family Christmas card and send it out to everyone

  when we got back home.

  131

  It seemed like a pretty corny idea to ME, but I

  guess nothing could be as bad as the Christmas

  card Rowley’s family sent this year.

  Mom told me I needed to go get Rodrick, so I

  used the map to find my way to the Teen Zone.

  But I probably could’ve found it WITHOUT a map.

  Some of the teens were playing volleyball in the

  pool, and Rodrick was one of them. But the game

  was paused because one of the girls got her lip

  ring stuck in the net, and Rodrick was helping

  her get untangled.

  133

  I told Rodrick we needed to go, but he didn’t

  seem to be in any hurry to leave. I finally got him

  to come with me, but I practically had to DRAG

  him away from his volleyball game.

  We met everyone else down by the water, where

  they were getting fitted for life jackets. Mom

  gave her camera to the guy who was helping

  them and asked him to snap a picture when we

  passed by.

  We got in the water and climbed aboard the

  banana boat, which was attached to a speedboat

  by a rope. We gave the driver the thumbs-up

  signal, and we took off.

  134

  Once we left the shallow water, we started to pick

  up speed. The water was kind of choppy, so it was

  hard holding on. Then we hit a big wave, and all

  three of us boys went flying off. The driver had

  to circle around so we could get back on.

  When we got moving again, we went through the

  area where they had a water trampoline, and kids

  started using our banana boat as a TARGET.

  135

  Then one stupid kid landed smack in the middle of

  our boat and PUNCTURED it.

  The banana boat was losing air fast, and the driver

  had to tow us back to shore. The guy that Mom

  gave her camera to took a picture, but I kind of

  doubt we’re gonna use it for our Christmas card.

  136

  After we dried off, Mom said we should get some

  lunch. But the couple from the plane had already

  taken our cabana, and eating outdoors again

  didn’t seem like such a good idea anyway.

  I realized we hadn’t eaten a real meal for two

  DAYS, and I didn’t wanna eat anywhere that I

  had to worry about animals attacking my food.

  Dad said we should go to the golf clubhouse,

  because it was the only indoor restaurant on the

  resort. Everyone seemed to like that idea, so

  that’s where we went.

  137

  But when we got to the clubhouse, the manager

  said they couldn’t serve us. He said the clubhouse

  had a dress code and that guys had to wear

  collared shirts and women had to wear dresses.

  Dad told the manager we didn’t HAVE those

  things, and the manager said that we could

  purchase them at the gift shop. But Dad said

  collared shirts cost fifty dollars each and there

  was no WAY he was gonna buy four of them just

  so we could have lunch.

  So we had to find another place to eat. Rodrick

  wanted to just have some hot dogs in the Teen

  Zone, but Mom said she wanted t
o eat lunch as

  a FAMILY.

  138

  I was pretty sure they served burgers and fries

  at the swim-up bar at the pool, so we went there

  to check it out. But I had second thoughts about

  eating at the pool once we ordered. It was like

  having a meal in a bathtub with a bunch of people

  you don’t know.

  And it wasn’t just PEOPLE, either. There was

  actually a MONKEY sitting at the other end of

  the bar.

  139

  Dad asked the bartender about the monkey, and

  she told us the whole sad story. She said this

  monkey used to live in a big tree on the resort with

  a bunch of OTHER monkeys, and he was kind

  of like their leader. But then this YOUNGER

  monkey came along and kicked him out.

  The monkey didn’t have any place to go, so one day

  he came to the bar, and people started buying him

  drinks. And he’s been coming back every day since.

  I really didn’t know WHAT to think after

  hearing a story like that.

  140

  All I knew for sure was that I didn’t feel great

  about eating lunch while sitting in monkey water.

  There was some sort of big sports game on the

  TV, and everyone at the bar seemed really into

  it. But somehow Manny ended up with the remote

  control, and he changed the channel to a show

  for little kids.

  Everyone wanted Manny to change the channel

  BACK, but when Manny wants to watch one of

  his shows, trust me, there’s nothing ANYONE

  can do about it.

  141

  The people at the bar were ready to RIOT, so

  Mom scooped Manny up and we got out of there

  before I even finished my burger.

  Rodrick went back to the Teen Zone, and Mom

  and Dad took Manny to the suite so he could take

  a nap.

  142

  I really didn’t want to go back to the room and

  risk running into that SPIDER again, so I decided

  to spend the rest of the afternoon in the arcade.

  I had to make the coins I’d collected in the

  Treasure Dive last two and a half hours. But

  there were some kids in the arcade who could’ve

  lasted for DAYS in there without spending all of

  their money.

  When it started to get dark, I figured I

  should head back to the room. But I ran into

  Mom, Dad, and Manny on the footpath halfway

  between the arcade and our building.

  143

  Mom said we were all gonna go down to a bonfire

  on the beach, and after that, we were gonna

  watch the turtle hatching. But first we needed

  to find RODRICK.

  This time we ALL went into the Teen Zone to

  look for him. By now it was pretty dark, though,

  so it wasn’t easy to spot him. But when we DID,

  I don’t think he was too thrilled to see us.

  On the way to the beach, Mom told Rodrick this

  was a FAMILY vacation, and it wasn’t the time or

  place for “teenage romance.”

  144

  Rodrick said this thing with the girl was

  SERIOUS and they planned to spend as much

  time as they could together.

  I was kind of surprised, because I thought

  Rodrick would be turned off by the whole idea of

  romance after spending a few days at the resort.

  Who knows? Maybe one day he’ll be back to this

  place with HIS family.

  We got down to the beach, where a bunch of

  families had gathered around a bonfire. But the

  experience wasn’t fun because of the BUGS. At

  first it was the gnats, which flew in our eyes

  and mouths.

  Then it was the sand fleas, which bit our ankles.

  And then it was the MOSQUITOES, which

  were the size of hummingbirds.

  Whoever came up with the idea of calling this place

  “paradise” must’ve had a good sense of humor.

  Back home, human beings are at the top of the

  food chain. But at Isla de Corales, everything

  eats PEOPLE.

  146

  I was definitely ready to go back to the room,

  because at least THERE I only had to deal

  with ONE bug. But then the nature guide came

  through and said anyone who signed up to see the

  turtle hatching needed to follow her to the dunes.

  The nature guide explained what we were about to

  see. She said that a mother turtle digs a hole in

  the sand dunes and then lays eggs in it, and a few

  months later, the eggs HATCH. Then the baby

  turtles head to the ocean.

  She showed us a little pile of white eggs buried in

  the dunes and said there were LOTS of piles just

  like this one. She said the problem was that we

  don’t know exactly WHEN the eggs will hatch.

  147

  It was DARK out, and I was afraid I was

  gonna accidentally step on an egg. So I took a

  few steps back to get out of the way, and when

  I did, something crunched under my foot.

  Luckily, it was just a seashell. But still, my

  stomach was in KNOTS.

  I’m not a fan of reptiles in general, but I

  decided I would make an exception for turtles.

  Let’s face it: The only reason we were out there

 

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