Crashing Into You

by Juliana Stevens

  "Okay," he said, sounding disappointed. "I'll be at the airport waiting, you should get there at two. Don't forget to bring warmer clothes. Would you like your rose?"

  "Please." She grabbed it, and his fingers lingered on hers longer than needed. "Good luck with your interview," she said, pulling her hand away and getting in her car. It was hard not to feel guilty as she pulled away, leaving him dejected on the sidewalk.

  ******

  When Denise settled into bed that night, she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. She tossed and turned, analyzing her every move since meeting Alex. She felt like everything she said or did was the wrong thing. It had been so long since she socialized with anyone other than Shelly and her family, she'd forgotten how awkward dating could be.

  Dating, ha! As if she knew what that was like. Not long after she met Benny, they fell straight into a relationship, then marriage. It had all been so easy. Now she was lost and unsure of everything. She could almost wish she hadn't met Alex because of how much he scared her, no matter how many rushes of bravery soared through her at times. The thought reminded her of Grace, of the way she felt when she was around. Denise had promised herself she would hold onto that feeling and she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and tried to channel it.

  She jumped when her phone rang and grabbed it from the nightstand to see Alex was calling. She felt a flood of emotions rush through her.

  "Calm down," she told herself before answering. "Hello?"

  "Hey," he said, sounding relieved. "I'm glad you answered. I hope it isn't too late for you."

  "It's only nine," she said as if she weren't in bed in her PJ'S. "I thought you'd be asleep by now."

  "I can't sleep. I've tried."

  "Do you get nervous before a flight?"

  "That's not the problem. I hate how we left things earlier."

  "Me, too. I'm so sorry about before, Alex. You must think I'm the most frustrating person on the planet."

  "I wouldn't go that far," he said, chuckling. "Not even close. We've had a snag or two in our short but adventurous time together, haven't we?"

  "That we have."

  "Denise," he said, sounding nervous. "If you're mad at me because of last night-"

  "I'm not," she interrupted. "I promise."

  "Are you sure?"

  "I told you I was fine either way, I meant it. Today it was something else."

  "You don't want to tell me?"

  "I'm embarrassed."

  "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but I wish you would."

  She sighed into the phone and closed her eyes. "When we were talking before, it hit me that I would miss you. I've gotten used to you coming around. The thought took me by surprise and it scared me. There, I said it." She squeezed her eyes shut tighter when he was silent.

  "Let me see you."

  "What?" she choked out.

  "Just for a minute, to tell you goodbye in person," he said, and she could hear the hopefulness in his voice.

  "Okay," she said, though reluctantly. "I'll text you my address."

  Ten minutes later, Alex rang her doorbell. She'd run around like mad before he got there, spraying perfume on herself and throwing on her cutest top and jean shorts. She took a deep breath before opening the door and letting him in.

  "Hey," he said, shutting the door behind him.

  "Hey." She smiled, and he pulled her in for a hug. She had an unexpected feeling that she belonged in his arms, and she squeezed him tight.

  "I had to see you," he said, kissing the top of her head. "I needed to let you know I will miss you. I already wish we were in Chicago together."

  "I feel the same way."

  "I have something else to tell you." He broke the hug but kept his arms around her shoulders. "I was going to tell you at dinner, but..."

  "Sorry," she said, feeling silly about it now.

  "Don't be. Can we sit?"

  "Yes," she said, leading him to the couch and settling next to him. He ran his fingers along her neck and chest, pulling at the chain that held her and Benny's wedding bands. She flushed, taking them from him and hiding them under her shirt again.

  "You wear it to bed?" he asked softly.

  "Is that why you rejected me last night?" she asked as it hit her, instead of answering his question.

  "I remembered the other night at the lake when I kissed your neck..."

  "You felt the chain?" she asked, finishing his thought. He nodded. "I'm sorry. I never thought how anyone would feel about it because I never thought anyone would kiss me again."

  "I want to kiss you," he said, his voice gentle.

  "I can take it off," she suggested, the idea frightening her.

  "I don't want to make you do something you're not ready for," he said, wrapping an arm around her. She nestled into him.

  "I want you," she said frankly, and there was a momentary pause before he spoke.

  "But are you ready for me?"

  "I don't know," she answered honestly. "Would you be ready for me? I wouldn't want you to be thinking of someone else. I thought last night it would be okay, but today I was glad you didn't want me." She looked up at him when she heard him chuckle. "What?"

  "I wanted you, trust me."

  "But would you be ready for me?" she asked, echoing his words.

  "Yes. I wouldn't be thinking of anyone else, either."

  "You say that so confidently." She adjusted so she could look him in the eyes.

  "I mean what I say," he said, and she believed him.

  "Good. I'm glad for your honesty because I have a question for you."

  "Shoot."

  "I had a thought. That maybe you wanted me to visit in hopes we would see your ex."

  "That's not why I want you there," he said, giving her a comforting smile. "Chicago is a big city, there's a good chance we won't see her. Or Sam."

  "You said you had the same favorite places."

  "I found other places in the last few months."

  "I just wanted to be sure."

  "I wouldn't use you like that, Denise. You have to know that."

  "I didn't mean to accuse you or anything," she said, feeling guilty.

  "I know." He kissed the top of her head and she closed her eyes, enjoying his nearness.

  "If we do see them, I will make her jealous if it comes to that."

  "I appreciate the offer," he chuckled. "I know I should get going right about now."

  "I wish you didn't have to leave, but I know you have an early flight."

  "I don't want to go, trust me. Walk me to the door?" He stood up, reaching for her hand. She took it and followed him. "I thought it would be less tempting to stay if I did this," he said, placing one hand on the doorknob and the other around her waist. He pulled her against him, pressing his lips on hers. She kissed him back eagerly. They were both breathless when they pulled away.

  "Are you more tempted to leave now?" she asked playfully.

  "You know I'm not," he said, a fire glowing in his eyes.

  "I know this is for the best, but it's hard to let you go."

  "I know what you mean."

  "Have a safe trip, Alex," she said, kissing his cheek and stepping away from him.

  "I'll be counting down to Friday afternoon."

  "So will I," she said, smiling and taking another step back, tempted to drag him to her room.

  "You're too beautiful," he said, and she noticed his hand tightening on the door knob. Her fingers traced her neckline as her eyes swept over him, from his tall, toned legs to his broad shoulders. She longed to pull off his shirt and run her hands over his presumably hard stomach and pecs. She looked at his face, his blue eyes smiling into hers as if he knew what she was thinking. She gave him a coy smile, taking another step backward. He moaned.

  "Goodnight, Alex."

  "Goodnight, my teasing enchantress," he said, and she grinned.

  It took her a long time to go to sleep that night. She kept thinking of Alex's eyes ablaze, stari
ng into hers, needing her as much as she needed him. As much as the thought scared her, it also made her feel alive with the thrill of it. She couldn't wait to see him again.

  ******

  Grace was strolling alongside the lake outside Star Dania, star gazing and feeling particularly proud of herself for current events when she felt Victor's presence behind her. She smiled. "Yes?" she asked without turning around.

  "Have you had enough space from me yet?" he asked.

  "I don't know," she said peacefully, dipping her toes in the warm water. "It's a nice night, isn't it?"

  "You're in a good mood."

  "You're upset by this?" she asked, turning to face him. Her breath caught. Victor was so mighty, so sublime that it made her ache. He was unquestionably keeping his distance, yet she still felt his powerful intensity.

  "I could never be upset by your good mood, Sunshine. I'm hopeful for it."

  "Good. I am happy tonight. I visited some regulars and checked in on my widow. Everything is going well, I think. Speaking of, I have a question concerning her."

  "Yes?"

  "You told me she never felt the anger when her husband passed," Grace chastised.

  "I forgot I said that," he said, his dark eyes smiling. "I bent the truth because I wanted a reason to work with you. You said widow and I jumped at it."

  "I'll choose to feel flattered even though you lied to me."

  "You always forgive easily."

  "That's not always true," she said, feeling melancholy. "You always see the best in me, surprisingly."

  "I don't know why you should find that a surprise. You're phenomenal."

  "Thanks," she said, turning from him to wade in the water, not wanting to think about how his words made her feel.

  "I thought of someone who can help you."

  "Who might that be?"

  "Mary. Since she's a Happiness Paragon, and it sounds like your human could use some. If you're still looking in on her, it means she's not healed yet."

  "Victor, everyone takes their own time with these things."

  "I know that, I meant no offense."

  "I know you're trying to help. I have thought of Mary if it comes to it, thank you. I would like to see what happens naturally for Denise. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other people I need to check on."

  "Grace?" he asked, and she turned to face him again. He looked magnificent with the moonlight shining on him, and she couldn't fight a smile.

  "Yes?"

  "Be careful out there," he said, the tenderness in his voice catching her off guard. In a blink, he disappeared and she wondered which realm he ran off to. As much as she loved him, pined for him, she wished she didn't. The true anger he had inside him could only get into her skin again and take over. She would succumb to him and let him be the prominent emotion, like before. What scared her more than anything was how easily she allowed it.

  Chapter Twenty

  Alex Evans couldn't stop smiling as he showed Denise around his small apartment. His mom was already suspiciously napping in the guest room, having claimed a headache.

  "What do you think?" he asked her, opening the door to the balcony and finishing their quick tour.

  "Terrific view," Denise said, looking in awe of Lake Michigan in the distance. He was more in awe of her, of her shy smile and dark hair his fingers itched to push behind her ear.

  "Not what you're used to in Rockford?"

  "Not at all," she said, turning to smile at him. His heart weakened. "I love Rockford, but it would be nice to step outside and have the world at your fingertips any time of day. Things don't shut down so early here, I imagine."

  "That's true. Would you like to walk around and explore, or do you want to rest?"

  "I'm not tired," she said, breathing in the city air. "We should wait for your mom to wake up."

  "She won't mind." Alex knew she would even prefer it, just as he knew she was reading a book instead of napping. She wouldn't want to go out until that evening for dinner most likely, saving up all her energy for the shops the following day.

  "You don't think?" Denise asked, unsure.

  "She's been enough times, she knows what she likes to do here by now. Trust me, she will want me to show you around. Oh, and I should've told you this, but the Jeep belongs to my mom. I don't have a car," he said, guilty since he hadn't warned her sooner. "In case you didn't realize it when I showed up at the airport in a cab."

  "That's okay, I recognized the Jeep as hers. I guess since you're in the city, you don't need a car all the time."

  "Everything is walking distance for me, even work. My old job, anyway." He could've kicked himself for bringing it up. He saw pity in her deep brown eyes, the last thing he wanted her to feel for him. Then she placed her hand on top of his, and all was right with the world.

  "How did the interview go today?"

  "I didn't tell you yet? I got the job, I start next week." He swore he saw a fleeting look of disappointment before her face broke into a smile.

  "Congratulations, Alex! It's a seafood restaurant, right?" she asked, and he nodded. "Can you take us there to eat? Is it close by?"

  "I'll see what I can do. There's always a long wait, though."

  "Impressive," she said, staring pensively at the view below.

  "Where would you like to go first?"

  "Wherever your mom would be okay with not going."

  "Good idea," he said, smiling at her thoughtfulness. "She's seen Lincoln Park a few times already and the zoo. The art museum she's done, too."

  "Art museum?" she asked excitedly, piquing his interest. "Is it a far walk?" He knew in that moment he would've walked the entire city of Chicago if she wanted, just to make her happy.

  ******

  Denise could hardly sleep, no matter that she was exhausted. She and Alex had walked the whole of his neighborhood it seemed, talking and laughing the entire day. He'd taken her to an amazing art museum and around Lincoln Park. She ate her first hot dog off a stand, enjoying it immensely, much to Alex's relief. They talked with ease about everything, and he opened up more about Wendy and Sam. He clearly missed them both, especially his longtime friendship with Sam. She talked about her childhood growing up with an outgoing, single dad and even told stories about Benny. She told him about her days as an artist, selling her paintings at street fairs and local shops. She felt relaxed in his company, whether they were flirting or having deeper conversations. She found she was both grateful and disappointed at his not making a move on her as they went through their day.

  When they got back to his place, they rested for a while until his mom was ready to go to dinner before exploring a couple shops. Afterward, they went back and everyone got ready for bed. Denise tossed and turned now, wishing she could will herself to sleep. She needed it after hearing Rosie's itinerary for the following day. Realizing sleep wouldn't come, she stepped out on the balcony to enjoy the cityscape, keeping the door open in hopes she didn't wake Rosie. The cool night air helped calmed her overcrowded thoughts until she was ready to go to sleep. Just when she stepped back inside the apartment, she ran smack into Alex as he was on his way out.

  "Sorry," he whispered. "I was coming for a drink when I saw you weren't on the couch."

  "I couldn't sleep but I'm good now." She tried making a move to go past him, but he didn't budge. She looked up, her heart missing a couple beats when she saw his heated gaze.

  "You crashed into me again," he said, and she giggled.

  "Shh. We're going to wake your mom," she whispered.

  "Is that what you're worried about?" He stepped all the way onto the balcony, shutting the door and stopping directly in front of her. "That better?"

  "What was the question?" she asked faintly, forgetting everything except how good he smelled. He flashed an irresistible smile, making her warm all over. His fingers stroked her hair, pushing some behind her ears, his eyes never leaving hers. She flushed madly when his fingers grazed the chain she wore around her neck before he pulle
d out the rings. She blew out a puff of air as he held them in his hand, his usually laughing eyes now clouded. His expression was serious, and she wondered what he was thinking. She reached up to touch his face. The storm cleared in his eyes and he smiled, quickening her heart.

  "I had fun with you today," he said, and she returned his smile.

  "Me too. Thanks for having me. Especially before you're busy with your new job." An abrupt sadness cut through her at the thought of losing his company so soon.

  "Denise," he said urgently. "I'll move back to Rockford and find a job there if you ask me to."

  "What!" she gasped, backing away from him. "That's crazy, Alex. You can't say things like that."

  "Why? I mean it."

  "You couldn't possibly. We've only known each other a few weeks."

  "I have a feeling about you, I have since the second I saw you walk into Claudine's that night. You stunned me then and every time I've seen you since."

  "Alex," she said, trying to sound calmer than she felt. She sat down on a patio chair, taking a deep breath. "Have a seat." She patted the chair beside her and he took it. She reached for his hand, seeing the genuineness in his eyes. "After everything you told me today, can't you see I'm a reaction from the hurt your friends caused you?"

  "You're more than that," he said decidedly. "Don't you feel it, Denise?"

  "I feel an attraction, yes."

  "It's not just that for me. This isn't because you're pretty," he said, pulling his hand from hers. "If you don't feel the same way, that's fine, but you can't tell me how I feel."

  "Okay, I'll simply suggest you evaluate your thoughts and emotions. I believe you're scared of whatever this place makes you feel now. I noticed you looking around sometimes today, like maybe you were looking for them. It's natural, but I can't be your answer."

  "Harsh," he said, leaning back in his chair. He sighed. "I wasn't looking for anyone today. When I'm with you, I'm with you. No one else exists."

  "That's a nice thing to hear," she said, touching his arm. "It just seemed like-"

  "I know what you think it seemed like," he interrupted, looking at her fixedly. "I'm probably saying all the wrong things, but this isn't me, Denise. I don't fall fast and hard, I really don't. I dated Wendy for months before I fell for her. It's different with you in every way. I know now with her, it was mostly attraction that had me tripping over myself for her affections." He was quiet for a moment, shaking his head. "She never would've walked as much as you did today or talked as openly as we did. She wouldn't have considered eating a hot dog, and she never entertained my mom when she visited. I'm not trying to compare, but the longer I'm away from that relationship, the more I spend time with you... I really wonder what I was thinking. I hope for both their sakes, she's better for Sam than she was for me."