“I guess that’s just not what I’m used to. But I like the idea of it.” He shrugs. “So, let’s get to this Darshaun and have him tell us all about your car.”
“Um, okay.” I wasn’t prepared to bring him with me, but I don’t see any wrong in doing so.
“You look beautiful, by the way.” He leans in and kisses my lips softly.
The kiss grows and soon is a flurry of fingers itching for bare skin and for clothing to be removed. The need to leave the house goes to the back of my mind now that he’s here.
“Fuck,” he expels as his lips trail down my neck to my shoulder. He moves my shirt collar for contact with my skin and I can feel my body’s goose bumps arising on my skin in his wake.
I pull away from him, grab his arm, and drag him down my hallway to the sex den.
“The car can wait,” I say, removing my shirt with quickness and then getting to work on unbuttoning my jeans. Luke follows suit, and soon we are both standing in front of one another, our bodies heaving and naked. We throw our bodies at one another, and we fall onto my bed in a tangle of limbs. I push him to his back and work my mouth down his body until I have his cock fisted in my hand and positioned just below my mouth. With my eyes on his, I flatten my tongue and lick the crown of his cock. His body jolts, and he sighs happily. Our eyes are locked when I open my mouth and take him in. His cock hits the back of my throat, and I gag slightly but pull up on him and use my hand on his shaft as I move. His mouth drops open as I suck. His hand moves to my bun and lightly adds pressure, but our eyes never waver.
His breathing gets heavier the closer he is to release, and when he taps my shoulder in a silent notice that he’s about to come, I continue on. I suck harder and I pull up on his shaft faster, adding more pressure as I stroke him, and bring him to full pleasure. Hot spurts of salty liquid hit the roof of my mouth on a downward motion, and I open my throat to swallow.
His shaft and his come.
With my eyes still on him.
I milk his cock until his body twitches from the aftershocks of his orgasm. His body relaxes into the bed, and we finally break eye contact.
That was the single most erotic blowjob that I have ever given.
“Rhi, I think this is the first time that I’ve seen you in my shop. I’m surprised that I haven’t seen you any sooner with all the stuff I found while running diagnostics on your car,” Darshaun starts out, and I immediately am wishing that Luke wasn’t here to hear how irresponsible I’ve been at adulting.
“I haven’t really had any problems with it until now.”
“When was the last time you got an oil change?” Darshaun crosses his arms.
“I put oil in it every few months,” I defend.
“But have you ever had the oil completely changed out? Your system flushed or anything?” he asks with concern.
“No, sir.” I shake my head.
I am feeling like a little girl, and I’m doing what I can to not tear up right now. I take a deep breath and try to move the conversation forward.
“So, what’s the total that I’ll have?”
“I don’t have a full total of costs, but I can tell you that it won’t be cheap. It will at least be a few hundred for replacing the radiator, and that will take a few days, since I have to order in the parts. I would like to do a full flush out of your system and clear away any of the build-up from over the years and replace all the fluids. You need new brakes and some fuses, and your battery is at the end of the life as well. How long have you had this car?” he asks.
“A few years; I bought it off of some city kid,” I reply and then look to Luke. “No offense.” He holds up his hand in a ‘don’t worry’ gesture and then wraps the same arm around me for comfort.
We go over a few things, and I’m leaving the front office feeling like I’ve been scolded by my parent, except my parent has never scolded me in her life. Now the same parent that I had yelled at the other night about moving out, I’ll really need her rent money to help me pay for my car. With my head in my hands and sadness setting in, Luke steers me to a bench on the sidewalk adjacent from the building.
He rubs my shoulder and brings me into his body.
“I feel stupid. I never met my father, and my mother never really had a steady boyfriend when I was growing up to pass stuff like this to me,” I sob into his chest.
“Hey, it’s not your fault. You really didn’t know. But now you do, and now you will take care of those things,” he says quietly while rubbing my back.
“I’m sorry, I should put my big girl panties on. I need to get over to the bar and see if there are any extra shifts that I can pick up. I’m sorry you came here, and I’m a huge mess,” I say, leaning back and standing up.
“You know that this is a relationship, right? This is everyday life shit; don’t worry about me seeing the bad because it’s normal.”
“I’m a twenty-eight year old who didn’t know she needed to get her oil changed,” I say.
“And there are plenty of people out there like that; you’re not the only person. But what you do have is me, a boyfriend who is willing to teach you things that you don’t know if you will let him.” His hands are on my shoulders, and his knees are bent to see eye to eye with me.
“My boyfriend?” I sniff.
“Isn’t that what I am to you? I refer to you as my girlfriend; am I wrong in doing so?” he asks.
“Absolutely not. And yes, my boyfriend can teach me how to be a man.” I offer him a smile.
“Well, that’s not exactly what I was going for.” He smiles, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me. I wrap my arms around him in return with my cheek on his chest.
I feel happy. Also terrified. I will need to take on some extra shifts, and that, in turn, may take away some days when I would be with Luke. We don’t get enough time as it is, so this sudden thought creeps into my happiness, but I push it away in order to enjoy this moment. The moment that my boyfriend is comforting me.
11.
Luke left that evening, and after some good sexy time, I felt a lot better than I did that afternoon with everything that has happened. I’m bummed that he had to drive back to the city, but I’m happy that he was able to at least come and see me for the day.
But a part of me is worried that we’ll be stuck in a pattern of traveling back and forth forever.
I can’t leave here, he can’t leave there, and I would never ask that of him. There’s nothing here in Mercy for him. I could move to the city, but I don’t have any other options for my mom right now, and it’s not as if she could take care of herself.
Do long distance relationships actually work? All signs point to no, and I’m not sure if I can fool myself into thinking that we can be the one relationship to make it work.
I think of when we’re together, and I smile. We get into the bubble of us and the whole world disappears. Then, once he leaves or I’m driving back home, I can’t help but to question if we’re doing the best thing by having a semi-long distance relationship.
Are we just prolonging the inevitable? One of us will need to make the sacrifice eventually, and it will most likely need to be me.
Can I do that?
Surely, not right now - but could I later?
I’m torn with what the future holds and what I should do.
I like him. I really, really like him. But unless one of us makes a sacrifice, the relationship has no real chance.
A tear escapes, and I brush it away.
Do I tear off the Band-Aid now, when the relationship is new? On the other hand, do we wait until I’m fully in love with the guy to where it will hurt more?
The uncertainty of the future is dark, and I shake my head to rid myself of these thoughts before they consume me.
I am working one of my extra shifts a week later, on my normal day off ,and Luke is sitting in a booth working on his laptop in the back of the bar. He’s here for his days off, but since he knew that I would be working, he too brought work with
him.
It feels normal, but the feeling of impermanence is still prevalent in the back of my mind.
On my break, I slide into the booth beside him and lean my head on his shoulder. He closes the laptop and moves, so he can wrap his arm around me as he kisses the top of my head.
“I’m sorry that I have to work today,” I say to him.
“We all have to work, one way or another. I’m working too,” he offers.
“What are you working on?” I ask.
“Oh nothing, just a side project that I’m thinking of taking on,” he says indifferently.
“Oh.” I frown.
Is this a project to take more of his time? Make it so it will be harder on us to see one another? I don’t ask him these questions, as I’m too afraid of the answer.
But I hope not.
My shift finishes up early, so Luke and I head over to the auto shop. I had a payment plan worked out with Darshaun for my car, and we agreed that I would pay him what I could as I got the money. My car was going to be in his shop for another week, but I was happy that we were able to come to an arrangement. After paying him, Luke and I head back to my house.
As we walk up the driveway, I hear people arguing from the back of my house. My heart begins to beat faster, and I instantly feel uncomfortable that Luke is here and will likely have to see what I have to deal with.
“What’s that?” he asks.
“Nothing,” I say. “Here’s the house key, can you put my bag and our food inside? I’ll just be a minute.” I hand him everything and without letting him say anything more, I jog around the house and see my mother wearing just a shirt and socks yelling at our neighbor, Mrs. Williamsly.
“You can’t just take other peoples pets, Jessica!” My neighbor points her cane at my mother.
“That’s my dog, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” My mother waves her arms and slurs.
“You don’t think that I don’t know what my dog looks like or that fact that he’s clearly wearing a collar with his name and my phone number on it?”
“So, you stole my dog is what you’re saying?”
I push my hand against my forehead in a face palm, shake my head, and move to stand between the two.
“Mom, go back inside and put some damn pants on. Mrs. Williamsly, I’m sorry. She’s a little…careless.”
“Oh, precious girl, you truly are a saint, with taking care of this God awful woman. You deserve an award. But you see, she came into my yard and stole my Gerald.”
“I know. She’s a little forgetful of her surroundings sometimes,” I say.
“You mean drunk, child. You shouldn’t have to cover up for her all the time. We all know what Jessica is like - we’ve known for years, and we know that she will always be like this.”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry that she tried to steal your dog,” I say just as Luke rounds the house and comes into view. He nods and comes to my side.
“Oh, you’re a handsome fella. I think I’ve seen you from time to time lately. You’re not from around here, are you?” She bats her eyes.
“No ma’am.” He shakes his head. “Luke Mattias. Pleasure to meet you.” He holds his hand out for her. She takes his and steps into him as if I’m not there. She kisses him on the cheek, pats his chest, then gives him a full look over as he drops his hand to his side.
I laugh behind my hand just as my mother comes barreling out of her cottage, still not wearing pants. The three of us turn to her, and I fight the embarrassment that I feel.
“I guess it’s time to meet the parent,” I say under my breath. Luke grabs my hand and squeezes.
“What are you doing here?” She looks at him as if she knows him. “I told you to never come around here again, you sonofabitch!”
“I think everyone is going inside to their respective homes,” I say, turning back to my neighbor. “Again, I’m sorry. I’ll try to talk to her, and hopefully, she retains the information.”
“Honey, you do you, and him.” She wiggles her eyebrows and turns with Gerald, her dog, on her heels to go back to her yard.
“Hello,” Luke says slowly to my mom.
“I’ll take care of her, if you want to go inside-”
“No, I’ll help,” he offers.
“I know you want to, but really I got this,” I say to him with more confidence in my voice than I am feeling at this moment.
He backs away and silently walks back to the house. I’m embarrassed, to say the least, but right now, I need to get my mom back into her place to sleep it off. When I return to the main house, Luke is in the kitchen filling a glass of water with our food from the bar sitting on the table.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I say as soon as he turns around.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Luke hesitantly left my house.
I told him that it was better to rip the Band-Aid off now versus later when we’re more heavily invested. He told me he was, but I didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t. I made him leave.
I know that my responsibility with making sure my mother doesn’t die face down in her own vomit is a burden then I put on myself. But since the woman refuses any sort of help, right now I’m the only one who will take care of her since she’s burnt all her bridges.
Luke silently heard what I had to say, letting me speak the inner thoughts that have been clouding my mind about our relationship since he last left Mercy.
His parting words were: This isn’t goodbye.
Then he left.
I’ve been crying for the past few hours with the television on in the background. Our dinner still sits on the table, and I have no desire to move it to the garbage or eat it. I know that I did the right thing in this, I just am not sure if now was the right time to break up.
We could have been fine in the relationship that we had blossoming, but when I was confronted with the situation of my mother being in the same space as him, I was ashamed, embarrassed, and wishing that he wasn’t there to witness any of it.
She is my burden and my burden alone, and I can’t do anything right now to change that.
13.
Three long weeks have gone by.
I’ve been working a lot of shifts and having zero sex.
My car repairs are paid off, my mom is still a drunk, and I miss Luke.
He’s tried calling several times, but I can’t answer his calls. I see his name then the bridge of my nose stings and my eyes well up with tears. He’s left voicemails, but I’ve deleted each and every one of them, same with all the text messages.
I’ve only told Miles and Deb at work that I’m no longer seeing Luke and they’ve stayed away from talking about him after the first day’s range of why questions.
I pull my hair into a bun, put some lip-gloss on my lips, and settle oversized sunglasses over my eyes before setting off for my shift at The Neighborhood.
I walk in, and it’s packed with all kinds of people, some people that I don’t recognize and some that I do. The bar is packed as if it’s ladies night in a college town, and I’m squeezing my way through the crowd of people to walk to the back room to my employee locker.
I freeze when I recognize the tan muscular arms, the broad shoulders, and perfectly tussled brown hair of Luke at the end of the bar talking to Miles. I’m frozen in place five feet away; do I rush past him or walk right up to him and demand to know why he is here?
Before I can decide my next move, both guys turn their gazes to me. Miles says something to Luke as a smile forms on his face. He sets the beer down on the bar in front of him, places his hands in his front pockets, and we gravitate to one another.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him.
“I’m here, grabbing a beer at the best bar in town, or so I’m told,” he explains, but then again - doesn’t.
“They have bars in Hollybrooke,” I point out.
“I know they do, but I’m here now.”
“What?” I shake my head.
“Come with
me?” He asks hold out his hand.
“I can’t, I start my shift soon,” I reply.
“Miles said that it was okay,” Luke tells me. “Please?”
I look at him in confusion and then pull the strap of my bag back over my head and across my chest.
“Where are we going?” I question him.
“It’s a surprise.” He grabs my hand, winds around the people and out the doors to the street.
Once outside, he looks both ways and crosses the street. We walk in silence for two blocks and come to stand in front of a vacated office space.
I’m even more confused as he releases my hand and produces a key to open the doors. He motions for me to step inside, and once the door closes behind him, I turn to face him.
“What is this? Why are we inside the old dental office? Why do you have keys to the doors, and why are you in Mercy?” I ask, confused.
“I’ve been miserable for the past few weeks without you,” he replies quietly.
“That’s usually what happens after a break up, but that doesn’t answer my questions.” I stick my chin at him waiting for him to answer my questions.
“Before you broke up with me - actually the day of - I was working a deal. A deal that would allow me to rent this space and build up a practice here. You broke up with me, and I knew that in order to get you back I needed a grand gesture because it was clear that you had mixed feelings with our relationship, and the proximity of where we lived. I worked harder, and after a bit of negotiations, I’m now the proud lessee of this space. I want to be with you. I don’t want a 40 minute drive in between us. Call it moving too fast, call it a leap of faith, but I’ve fallen for you, and I’m not letting you go.”
I am speechless.
Luke is looking at me, waiting for me to respond, but I know that if I open my mouth, or hell, even move, I will start crying uncontrollably.
“I had a business meeting at the bar, and some of those people were from the meeting, some of them were reporters, and some were a few colleagues that were present in support. I’m going to open up a family practice here in Mercy, if that’s okay with you?”
The Neighborhood Series (The Neighborhoood) Page 13