The Years Between (Sister Series, 1.5)

by Davis, Leanne

  ****

  Every holiday, and each anniversary seemed as if they were in neon lights. They celebrated CHRISTMAS, BIRTHDAYs, and EASTER. Every day they were together was like a revelation to both of them. They never dreamed during the darkest days and their separations that they would spend such days together, let alone, enjoy them so much. They did ordinary things: running errands, cooking, cleaning, and sharing their pets and days. They fought sometimes; and they laughed a lot. They learned the little things about each other that only time can reveal. Things they never had time to learn about each other. They were both dating and married. Sometimes, things were as simple as a night out together. Other times, things became as complicated as their history.

  Will had two short deployments, which took him again to Afghanistan. Jessie spent most of her time with Finn and Bella and their small circle of friends. She, for once, simply dealt with it and stuck to her routine. She talked to her counselor. And to Will as much as she could.

  Once, there was a nine-day gap in communication. There had been many times when he could not contact her for days or even a couple of weeks. Those times she had some warning and knew it was coming. But nine days unexpectedly? She had no idea what was going on. She stared at the calendar with unwavering belief and faith that he was fine. He. Is. Fine. They would share their dream. She chanted the days off in her head as if the Holy Grail lay at the end. It was her answer to surviving Will’s separation from her. Will risking more danger. Will just being Will.

  He was fine, and called as soon as he could after the mission was over. They were looking for insurgents who attacked one of the military installations. He apologized at length and she nearly fell to her knees in the kitchen when his voice came through the phone. He was fine. See? She was right. She made herself believe it, and for once, it actually happened. She cried hard, and was nearly rendered unable to speak. He tried to soothe her from all those miles away, but nothing could relieve the ache of missing him.

  Still, she didn’t take any sharp objects to her skin. She survived. She didn’t like it. For her, it was trigger after trigger. But she survived it. And all the while, she kept chanting, he is fine.

  Then THE DAY approached: his date of discharge from active service. The day they waited for years to arrive, and shed rivers of tears to accomplish. The day she almost didn’t think she could see past. It was easier for Will to talk about “after” and “later” and “next year” or “in ten years.” She could not, however, and saw that day, the day, May 24th as the absolute ending of her old life and beginning of her new life.

  It also meant the last great battle that Will Hendricks would leave her to fulfill. As a way to highlight the attainment of their dream, Will was going to Mexico. They should have been toasting the greatest victory of their short life together. Instead, he was preparing for perhaps the stupidest mission yet in his entire long and danger-fraught military career.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Will moved around their room with such efficiency in packing as Jessie ever witnessed in another human being. He rolled his underwear into compact, little sausages. His pants were creased to board flatness.

  He booked his airfare and motel. His plans were all set. Jessie watched him spending hours at the computer, staring at maps. He had a plan. He did not say much after their argument months ago and her ensuing consent. She knew it was because he didn’t want her to change her mind. Given an opening, she might have. So he didn’t mention it. It was almost as if he were planning a vacation, if you ignored the reason. She was the only one who knew he was seeking the group that kidnapped her and abducted her out of the country. Of course, obtaining her father’s permission beforehand must have made the process a hell of a lot easier than simply abducting someone.

  She drew in a breath at the direction her thoughts were taking. She detested watching him get ready to leave her yet again. She spent a lot of their relationship just being left by him. She was sick and tired of being abandoned, as well as dealing with her life alone, and her emotions while trying to keep it all in check. No matter how often he claimed they weren’t in a holding pattern, they were. There was just no other way. When he was home, she wanted to isolate them into a cocoon of happiness, fun and relaxation. She loved being ordinary and together, versus feeling tragic and crying and lost.

  It didn’t leave her a whole lot of time to move forward with her life.

  With swift efficiency, he started filling his suitcase. As he stood by the dresser, she got up and stepped behind him to wrap her arms around his middle, leaning her face against his back. He stopped moving, completely pausing at her unexpected contact. His hands crept up to cover hers, which she interlaced over his stomach.

  “If I asked you not to go, would you stay?” she whispered quietly and calmly, pressing her lips into the fabric of his cotton t-shirt.

  He stiffened and his entire body tensed. She could feel his lungs rise and fall sharply as his back moved with it.

  “If I told you I couldn’t handle it anymore, would you simply stay home and let it go? Let us start the life we’ve been waiting for almost five years to have?” she repeated.

  His fingers gripped hers tightly and his tone was soft when he spoke. “If it’s the difference between losing you and not, yes, I would let it go. But please, I’m begging you for once, don’t make me. Let me do this. I need to do this. There are things you needed in the past. This time, it’s what I need.”

  She squeezed her arms around his waist and her body involuntarily shuddered. “I’m scared. I can’t stand the waiting. You’ve never had to wait for me like I have for you.”

  He turned and took her hands in his, raising her knuckles up to his mouth. He touched them to his lips. “That’s not true. I waited with my heart in my stomach for over two years until I felt like you were no longer at risk of killing yourself, or losing your mind, or breaking down. So that’s really not true.”

  She shut her eyes at the soft feel of his lips on her hand, but finally raised her gaze to his. “You know, it’s still impossible we’re here. Together.”

  He stepped forward and wrapped her in his arms, placing her head against his chest. “I know. Don’t you think it attests to something? You are strong, Jess. You are much stronger than you ever knew, or most women could be. You can do this. One more time.”

  “You don’t have to do it to me though.”

  He nodded. “You’re right. For once, I’m choosing to. But don’t you want this? Even a little bit? Don’t you picture someone paying for what they did to you? I just… I need that. I need that for you. It’s the only thing I can physically do that will actually make a difference for you. All I’ve ever done is be there for you. After it all. During it all. Whatever. But I’ve never actually done anything for you.”

  “You did everything for me. How can you say that?”

  He sighed. “Because this is what I do. Just let me do it. One more time. I meant that promise. I can let it all go. I can quit. But I need to do this.”

  She leaned her head onto his chest and closed her eyes, taking a big sniff of him. His shirt smelled like her, due to using the same laundry soap. But it also had Will’s scent on it. His warmth touched her cheek and she could feel his muscles tighten and flex as he rubbed her back and comforted her.

  “You read every letter I ever wrote you, didn’t you?”

  He nodded. “I also read about everything that was ever done to you. I remember every single thing you’ve ever felt or thought or expressed to me. So, yes I know.”

  “Why did you come for me? You were free. Done. Why did you ever come back for this? After reading all that…”

  His hands suddenly gripped her arms just above her elbows. “I loved you then. I love you now. I can’t eradicate what was done to you. Or the harm it caused you. It’s something that will be with us until we die. But I can, at least, strive for some kind of remote justice.”

  “I want that too, and it shames me. I didn’t used to care. But th
e more I think about Mexico specifically, and what you said about me not being the first, or the last… well, I must admit their faces still haunt me. So if I imagine you stopping even one of them… it’s okay. Okay, I can wait one more time. But you have to remember, the moment if and when you face them all, or even one of them, you are not a cold-blooded murderer. You promised me you wouldn’t become one. You have to make your word and your promise to me stronger than your desire for revenge. It won’t be justice for me. And you will lose me. I’ve seen how calm and cool and rational you get in combat. If rescuing me wasn’t being in combat, what is? I’ve also seen how you can control yourself. You must do that for me. I can only agree to let you do this if I can believe you won’t get caught and won’t be tried for murder. Can you promise me that?”

  “I can promise you that,” he leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. “You know I have my faults, but I won’t break my word. Not to you. I can’t breathe when I think about you being hurt. Or feeling hurt. Yet, that’s what you felt more than half your life. Still, it kills me that I can’t fix it. I can’t soothe it. I can’t even relieve it.”

  “My God! It’s like you live with a tragic soap opera every day.”

  “I live with you. All I want to do is live with you. I love you, Jessie. Whether or not you let me do this, I will be here for you. No matter what.”

  She shook her head against his chest. Her eyes streamed with tears and her makeup started to smudge and smear on his shirt. “I don’t think I could have survived a day of it if not for you. Thinking of your voice got me through so many bad nights. Even in the beginning, when I was only a twenty-year-old, little girl who got raped more often than I ever felt loved, it was your voice that got me through. That cool, confident, I won’t leave you, Ms. Bains.”

  “I remember,” Will said quietly in a hoarse whisper. “You were the most tragic mission I ever encountered in my life.”

  “You must sometimes wish I weren’t. It would be so much easier.”

  “Easier maybe, but I would not really feel alive. I never felt anything real, or had anything of value, or found anything worth fighting for until I fell in love with you. I don’t regret it, Jessie. Not for a moment. It’s confusing, of course, if being glad we met means I’m somehow condoning what happened in Mexico, as if I’m glad that happened. But however you came to me, I swear to you, I thank God, still and now, and every day that it happened.”

  “I think I’d have died without you. Be it there, or at home, and even here. If you hadn’t found me, or come back for me, I’d have died somehow. Whether at their hands or my own. I know you saved me. I just want a chance to live my life with you, not to only be glad I once knew you.”

  He tilted his head back so he could he meet her gaze. Rubbing the pad of his thumb beneath her eyes, he smiled gently. “I swear to you, Jessie, we will have that chance.”

  She shuddered under his piercing gaze, his intense, burning love for her, sad, little Jessie Bains, nearly pouring from his eyes. “Don’t forget, not even for a second, what you promised me.”

  He lifted her up and wrapped her in his arms. “I won’t forget. I promised you the rest of our lives.” He flashed her his cocky, super-He-man grin. “And don’t I always keep my word?”

  He finally made her laugh. “You always keep your word, soldier. This time, however, it’s mandatory.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Will slid behind the wall when he heard footsteps echoing through the huge, cavernous building. He made his body flat and froze behind a pillar. The man lumbered past in a slow, easy gait. Will blinked and let out a breath as he grabbed the bottom rung of a metal ladder that was tucked in the corner of the building, similar to a fire escape ladder. It reached the seventy feet he needed to access the ductwork. The same place where he sat before. He spent a lot of time watching their routine before, and witnessed his wife’s rape there.

  He shook his head. Not now. This wasn’t personal right now. It was business. It was work. This was fucking war.

  He quickly crawled across one of the tubes of ductwork and stopped on a flat landing over one of the square boxes. His boots barely clicked on the floor as he dropped to his knees and absorbed the impact. Swinging his backpack down, he felt a smile tugging his lips from out of nowhere. He should have brought a different backpack. It was the same one they used at Disneyland. The one she used to attack him on the bed because he was so prepared. Just as he was today.

  He shook his head. No. Jessie was not here. This wasn’t about the recent past. Or happy times at an amusement park. It was about the crime that nearly destroyed her. And him. Them. It was about finally fulfilling the dream he’d been planning for years now. When he held Jessie, crying, broken, and bleeding, he often felt like his spirit rose above his body. It allowed him to visualize in a real and physical way exactly what he’d do to the men who violated her, if only given the chance.

  This was his chance.

  He tightened his hands into fists. For too long, he fantasized about it, and now, it was time to do it. Finish it. There was no Jessie to protect this time. There was nothing to hinder him, slow him down, or stop him. He could finally do his fucking job! And, as he told her, he was really good at that.

  He waited for two hours. Finally, the man he sought appeared below him. He was walking down the corridor, and passing the spot. The one Will always dreamt about, and got cold sweats from. Strolling past the ties in the floor, the man spoke to someone next to him and pointed to the clipboard the other man held. Business as usual. How could they ignore the torture ties at their feet when they came into the office for a day’s work? The scenario completely baffled Will. How could they come to work and torture girls, or sell drugs, as if it were nothing more than going to the bank or an insurance office? What kind of souls did these men have? And here they were, five years later, still in business. And business looked pretty good if the ample contents on the warehouse shelves were any indication.

  Upon entering the building last night, Will first went to the place where they held Jessie. There was no one down there. But there had been. Will saw evidence. Disgusting evidence that made his stomach churn and contract with repulsion. There was another corridor that took Will past what looked like a normal office area. It was crazy as fuck. Desks, phones, computers, and all to… what? Arrange shipments? Count money? Launder the money? He knew there was money down there. It was hidden beyond that room buried in a wall of steel with a small, locking door. It was, no doubt, where they stashed all their cash before they scrubbed it clean and laundered it.

  His relief was swift; there was no one down there being held prisoner. He would have changed all his plans and helped whoever it was to escape in exactly the same way he did for Jessie. The thought made his throat dry. He could not go through that again. And, to his profound relief, there were no innocents in there. Anyone hurt or bothered by what he planned to do was fair game and collateral damage to him. Fuck them for being there. They deserved whatever they got.

  He then went to the spot. He hated that spot. But it was the best place to wait. Again waiting, watching, and obsessing. How to fuck the place over.

  He had snuck in during the night, when there were only a few workers around. Sneaking in at night, Will would stay until morning, hoping to bring down the leader and a minimal number of workers. Lucky for him, the leader of the pigs was a diligent worker, or so it seemed.

  Now, came the time to make amends for the scars on Jessie that no one could ever truly repair. He swung down off the ladder and ducked quickly behind some freight being stored on his left. He listened. Nothing. He waited. Will had infinite patience for stuff like that. He could hold still for several minutes, slowing his breathing, and amplifying his hearing. It was what kept him alive on more than one occasion. He wasn’t lying to Jessie. For some reason, being in this kind of situation made him feel primed, intense, and ready. He performed much better under extreme circumstances and stress than he did in normal life. It used t
o make him proud. Now he wondered if it didn’t actually fuck him up. Who preferred that to a normal life? He did. And he’d soon be giving it all up for a normal life.

  Finally, he saw his opening. No one was present and the sounds were fading away as the men walked down the long warehouse corridor. Will slipped silently through the corridor and entered the office where the leader obviously held command. He got in, and all the way across the office before the man realized a stranger had entered. Will instantly had him face down on his desk with a knife pressed into his side.

  The dumb fuck tried to grab the gun on his desk, but wasn’t fast enough. Will pressed the blade in slightly. The man gasped out a string of angry, coarse Spanish words.

  Will responded in kind. “Shut the fuck up or I’ll gut you and leave you bleeding on the floor.”

  The man instantly flipped over to English. “What do you want? Money isn’t in here. I can get it though.”

  “I don’t want your money. You’re going to wish I did before I leave though.”

  ****

  Jessie paced the living room back and forth. How could Will really ask her do this? It was way too much. To ask anyone really. Sure, marriage was a compromise and finding a balance that respected both partners’ needs. But she doubted that theory would apply to waiting around while her husband sought revenge and tried to take down the drug traffickers who kidnapped, held prisoner, and raped her countless times. It wasn’t exactly like deciding where to go to dinner; or even a little tougher, like which city they should live in. This mission forced her to relive a nightmare that almost drove her mad. It was not something she ever pictured doing, since she thought getting home was the end of that part. But now, all she could picture was Will being down there. Now. Today. She closed her eyes and visualized where he was walking and what he was doing. She could see it as clearly as the lines on her palms. Some of the days after Jessie was first kidnapped were blurry, and hard to string together; but the days spent in Mexico, and especially, in Will’s presence were as real and clear and vivid to her as a movie playing.