How to Entice an Earl

by Manda Collins

  Christian kept his face impassive. “I assure you, Mrs. P., I still like it the old-fashioned way.”

  “It’s a shame, love,” the madam lamented, “a real shame. I got quite a few girls that could change your mind if given ’alf a chance. Why, my Nellie has a way with a whip that could bring tears to your eyes.”

  He coughed into his hand. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said. Then, as if he were just remembering it, when in fact he’d thought of little else since he stepped inside, “I was to meet a friend here tonight. A Mr. Sinclair. Has he perhaps arrived yet?” The note Tretham had shown him gave the name Sinclair, but Christian assumed it was an alias.

  The old woman shook her head. “No one by that name here yet, love. I’ll send him along to the games room to you as soon as he arrives.”

  Thanking the madam, he allowed Mariah and Desiree to lead him to the green room. Which was also called the games room, in honor of the naughty parlor games that could be had there on any given evening.

  The chamber was a rather large, well-lit room, which, in another sort of house, might have been called a drawing room. There was a large mantel with a merry fire in the fireplace below. And a number of settees and sofas were strewn about the room, occupied by couples in various states of undress. Christian didn’t look too closely because he did not wish to draw attention to himself. But he spotted various gentlemen of the ton and several well-known businessmen engaged in lascivious activities. Here a leader in the Lords, there a member of the Commons who was known for his stirring oratories. Reaching down to grope the bottoms of his fair companions, he dropped onto a settee where he pulled Desiree onto his knee.

  He could not have described how wrong it all felt, even if a gun were held to his head. It simply was. He felt ill pawing these women when he had sweet, loving Maddie waiting for him at home. What was surprising about it was that six months ago he would have been able to undertake an assignment like this without so much as batting an eyelid. He was good at his work for the Home Office. He had been able to blend seamlessly into those masculine haunts that drew both the respectable and the depraved. And he had been able to do so without much damage to his reputation. It was one of the things that made him so respected by Leighton. But now, thanks to Maddie and their marriage, he was hard-pressed not to run screaming from the Pearl like a virgin at her first sight of a naked man.

  “My lord,” Mariah said, massaging his shoulders, then running her hands through his hair, “I think you are too overconcerned with the cares of the world. Let Mariah and Desiree relieve you of your tensions.”

  Desiree, not to be outdone by her companion, slipped her hand up to his neck, and before Christian knew what had happened his cravat was dangling loose around his neck, her hand slipped into the open neck of his shirt. “Here, milord,” she said, wiggling on his lap, much to the amusement of his cock, which cared not who touched it so long as it was touched. “Let us make you feel better. It’s that sad to see a big, strong man like yerself unable to take his relief.”

  He was debating how long he would have to endure the caresses of the prostitutes when he heard a cough above him.

  An oddly dressed man stood before him. He was short. And though his attire was cut well enough, the way it fit the fellow was … odd. His high shirt points marked the fellow as a dandy. So did the precision with which his neck cloth was tied. In fact, Christian doubted even Deveril could find fault with the thing. But it was the man’s eyes, which were slightly shadowed by the rakishly set hat, that drew his gaze. The eyes were a bright blue. And they were … well, there was no other way to put it. They were looking daggers at him.

  He looked the fellow up and down again, noting the slight curve of the man’s hips. The smallness of his hands. The point of the chin above the shirt points.

  He did not remove his hands from the persons of the women draped over him. He couldn’t because he felt as if he were made of lead.

  The man standing before him, glaring at him with all the scorn of a wronged husband, was quite within his rights to be so angry. Because the man before him, who looked as if he’d like to draw Christian’s cork, was, in fact, his wife.

  * * *

  “What a surprise to see you here, uh, Mr.…?” Christian looked up to see Deveril hovering behind Maddie, his face set in lines of annoyance. Christian had little doubt that Maddie had somehow convinced him to assist her with her attire. Even so, he was going to have some very sharp words with the fellow before too much time had passed. He knew well enough that his wife could convince a tiger to hand over his stripes, but even so, Deveril was a man of sense and should be able to resist Maddie, even at her most persuasive, with little difficulty.

  “Femane,” Maddie finished for him, speaking in a gruff voice that did little to disguise her sex. “Mr. Femane.” She bowed, careful not to let her hat fall from her head. Which was smart, since he assumed she had pinned up her long hair beneath it. “I had not thought to see you here, Lord Gresham. I thought you were newly wed.”

  That brought a tinkle of laughter from Mariah. “Oh, Lord, if I had a farthing for every newly wed fellow we’ve seen in ’ere. Don’t make no difference to most of ’em, sir. No difference a’tall.”

  “Yes, well,” Maddie said, “I had not thought Lord Gresham to be one of those chaps. But I suppose I was mistaken.”

  Before Christian could respond, Desiree crooked her finger to beckon Deveril. “Come over here and join us, milord. I don’t think Lord Gresham minds sharing.”

  But Lord Deveril, having delivered his charge, was evidently not planning to remain. “Mr. Femane, I believe I have fulfilled the terms of our bargain. I shall leave you to it, then.”

  With a slight bow, he disappeared into the crowd of the green room. Christian watched in amusement as Maddie tried to figure out what to do next. She had clearly not thought beyond infiltrating the brothel and finding him. Which served her right, he thought with uncharacteristic malice. She knew better than to enter a place like the Hidden Pearl. No matter how annoyed she was that he’d not told her about the note Tretham had received. He’d done it to protect her, for God’s sake. Still, he could not help feeling a pang of tenderness for her as she stood there, decked out in her male garb that did little to disguise her feminine curves.

  “Mr. Femane,” he said, disentangling himself from Mariah and Desiree, “I should like to have a word with you. Desiree, is there some room where we might be private?”

  He knew the moment that it occurred to the prostitutes that he and Femane might not be as interested in them as they’d hoped. Both women’s eyes grew round with surprise, and Mariah shook her head. “’Tis a pity, milord. A right pity.”

  If Maddie had any notion of what the women thought about her relationship with him, she didn’t let on. Christian gave a small lament for his damaged reputation, but decided it was hardly worth the thought. He was quite content to live out the rest of his days with only his wife to warm his bed. After he delivered a towering scold for this latest scrape, of course.

  Wordlessly, he and Maddie followed the girls to a small room, which was dominated by a large bed. And a painting hanging above it which depicted an orgy in some Grecian locale.

  “Don’t worry, you two,” Desiree said just before she shut the door. “Mrs. Pettigrew is that discreet. We won’t tell yer secret.”

  When the door closed behind her, Christian took Maddie by the shoulders and resisted the urge to shake her. “What in God’s name were you thinking coming here dressed like that?”

  “I could hardly come dressed for an evening party,” Maddie said hotly. “I should think you would be grateful that I chose to come in disguise. At least this way, my reputation remains intact.”

  “I would have been more grateful if you’d not come at all,” he retorted. “Maddie, what on earth has gotten into you?”

  “I wished to come and confront the man who threatened Lord Tretham and my brother,” Maddie said, her anger bringing rosy color to her chee
ks. “I might have trusted you to do it and then inform me of the results later, but since you did not even bother to tell me about the lastest threat to Lord Tretham, you can understand why I was not so convinced that you would do so.”

  “Because I did not wish for you to tempt me into bringing you along,” he said, unable to keep the frustration from his voice. “Good God, woman! You have me so wrapped around your little finger that I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Is it any wonder that I would doubt my ability to remain firm with you? If I loved you less, then perhaps I might be able to tell you no, but—”

  Seeing her gaping mouth, he suddenly realized what he’d just blurted out. He supposed Maddie wasn’t the only impulsive one in the family.

  “What did you just say?” she asked, her blue eyes wide. “What did you say to me?”

  Unable to face the rejection in her face, he dropped her arms and turned to stare, unseeing, at a painting of a satyr ravishing a maiden. He had begun the day with no intention whatsoever of declaring himself to his wife, much less in a brothel. “Forget it,” he said, his voice tight. “It was nothing. I simply wished to tell you my reasons for not telling you about the note for Tretham. Now that you’re here, we should go back into the green room to see if Mr. Sinclair is here.”

  To his alarm, he felt her step up behind him, felt her hand on his shoulder. “Christian,” she said, her voice low, “turn around. Look at me.”

  Reluctantly, he did so, careful to keep his face impassive. But what he saw in her expression wasn’t the derision he’d expected. Of course, this was Maddie, whose inherent sweetness would not allow her to hear a declaration of love with scorn. She would be kind. Which, on closer thought, was perhaps worse than scorn.

  “My love,” she said, throwing her arms around his neck. Her hat fell off in her enthusiasm, and almost of their own accord Christian’s arms slipped around her, holding her close. The kiss that she bestowed upon him was clumsy because of her enthusiasm, but he didn’t mind. “My own love,” she repeated. “I was so afraid that your refusal to include me meant that you didn’t care for me. I should have known it was just the opposite.”

  “The extreme opposite,” Christian said, unable to take his eyes away from hers. “Maddie, if something were to happen to you, I don’t know what I’d do. I should go mad, I think. That was why I didn’t tell you. Because I know how determined you are to avenge Tinker and to discover who threatened your brother. But I cannot, knowing how much you mean to me, let you risk your life like that.”

  She looked guilty. “And I mucked things up by sneaking here against your wishes,” she said, her genuine remorse evident in her gaze. “I am sorry, my love. But I am with you, so there is no chance of me getting hurt. I trust you to protect me as I trust no one else.”

  He shook his head at her trust, so freely given, so determined to put him on a pedestal. “You are foolish to put so much trust in me, Maddie,” he said, reluctantly pulling away from her.

  “Do not say that, Christian,” she said, her voice sharp. “You are the bravest man I know. You were commended by the king for it.”

  This brought him up short. “Maddie, I am not this hero you think I am. I am a man. I fought the French and looked after my men, true. But what good is all that when I cannot save my own sister?”

  Now she touched him, and though he flinched, she refused to be cowed by his resistance. She placed her hands on either side of his face and looked into his eyes. “You are a brave man, Christian. You will not convince me otherwise. And I won’t have you speak out against the man I love like this.”

  He saw the conviction in her eyes, and was unable to bear it. Stopping her pleas the only way he knew how, he kissed her.

  Twenty-one

  Maddie allowed him to take her mouth, knowing that she hadn’t convinced him, but also knowing that he now understood she was serious about her love for him.

  He’d just begun to unbutton her waistcoat when a pounding on the door made them both jump.

  “Gresham!” cried a voice from the other side of the door just before it flew in, rocking on its hinges.

  Her hair tumbling down her back, Maddie stared as Lord Tretham burst into the room, a gun trained on them both. On seeing Maddie his expression turned from one of annoyance to one very much like the cat who’d got into the cream.

  “Well, well, well,” he said, closing the door behind him. Maddie had never been overly fond of Tretham. She had often suspected him of deliberately leading her brother into vice. Now, feeling his lascivious gaze upon her feminine curves made more evident by the breeches, she had little doubt of it. She also had little doubt of who it had been that killed Tinker. “Imagine my surprise when little Desiree, after I paid her, of course, told me that the great war hero was holed up in the green room with another gentleman. But of course the upright Lord Gresham would never be so inappropriate as to be infatuated with another man. How boring to see that it is merely your lady wife you’re preparing to tup, Gresham. Just when I’d begun to think you had a bit of imagination.”

  “I’ll thank you not to speak of my wife like that, Tretham,” Christian said coldly. “I assume that this unexpected visit from you indicates that you are the one who has been threatening Linton. Clever of you to include yourself in the threats. Really. Well done.”

  Tretham gave a mocking bow. “I thought that was rather brilliant on my part as well. It occurred to me not long after Fielding died. Now there was a man who was badly in need of some brilliance. Were you acquainted with the man?”

  When Christian shook his head, Tretham continued, “Well, the fellow was not gifted in the brainbox, let me tell you. He was so determined to race from London to Bath. No amount of persuasion from Linton or Tinker or myself could dissuade him. So, I decided to use it as a means of removing him from the field altogether. I’d had my eye on the beautiful Lady Emily for some time, and as she was unwilling to be unfaithful to the bastard, I had to get a bit creative. That the brunt of the blame for the blighter’s death fell upon Linton was simply a bonus.”

  “But she fell in love with my brother before you could woo her,” Maddie said, so many of the puzzle pieces beginning to fall into place. “That must have infuriated you.”

  “My dear Lady Madeline,” Tretham said, leaning back against the door, “you have no idea. And then there was Tinker with his troublesome questions and unfortunate Bonapartist leanings.”

  “So you knew about his involvement in the Citizen’s Liberation Society,” Christian said.

  “Of course I did,” Tretham said with a laugh. “A more inept spy I’ve never seen. Though I was grateful for Tinker’s dealings with the spies because it led Home Office suspicion firmly away from me. I have little doubt that you lot thought it much more likely that he was killed because of his treasonous activities than over his foolish decision to look a bit too closely into my affairs.”

  “And Linton?” Maddie demanded, trying to determine how her brother fit into the scheme. “You simply wanted to get rid of him because he was a rival for Lady Emily’s affections?”

  “That,” Tretham agreed, “and the fact that it was just so much fun to torment him. Give me a man in love to toy with every time. There is just something so deliciously heartfelt about them and their determination to protect their ladies from harm.”

  Maddie felt her heart clench. She had a very good notion of how Tretham planned to make Christian pay for his investigations into the other man’s crimes. If she could find a way to remove that threat from her husband, she would do so.

  “Well, then, you will be disappointed to see before you two of the most unhappily married persons in London.”

  Tretham rolled his eyes at her words. “Do not, I pray you, Lady Madeline, attempt to convince me that you two are not disgustingly, blissfully wed. It will not do. You are fairly dripping with honey, you’re so sweet on one another. I do not mind telling you that it fair turns my stomach.”

  Stepping forward, he reached o
ut and took Maddie by the arm. “Now then, my dear,” he said, pulling her to the other side of the room, his gun steadily trained on Christian the entire time. “I ask you to remove that handsomely tied cravat—really, you must have done it yourself since I know that Gresham isn’t capable of a so perfectly tied knot—and indeed, just remove all of your clothes. I find myself quite intrigued to see what sort of body lurks beneath your mannish attire.”

  When Christian took a step forward, Tretham waved him back against the wall. “Stay over there, thanks, old chap. I believe I’ll use your lady wife’s cravat to ensure that your protective impulses are kept at bay.” Suiting his actions to his words, he took the cravat from Maddie’s hands and made Christian turn around to face the wall.

  Maddie searched the room with her gaze, unable to see anything that might be put to good use as a weapon. There was a strange umbrella stand in the corner but there was no way she could get past Tretham to reach it. Still, thinking she might be able to take him by surprise, she crept up behind Tretham. Unfortuntely, he must have felt her, because he swiftly turned around and smacked her across the face.

  Christian said a foul word and threatened to do something to their captor that Maddie was quite sure was not anatomically possible.

  “Get down on the bed,” he said curtly, ignoring Christian’s curses. “And take off your damned clothes. I do not mean to tell you again. Really, Gresham, you have done an appalling job of training your wife. If this is how you trained your men it’s a shock to me that you survived the war at all.”

  He finished securing Christian’s hands, and wandered over to the umbrella stand and removed what turned out to be a whip from it. “Well, well, well,” Tretham said gaily, “I think you and I will have a delightful time together, Lady Madeline. I have little doubt that your dear husband hasn’t shown you the joys of discipline. Indeed, that is doubtless why you are so temperamental. I look forward to showing you the error of your ways.”