The Drifting

by L. Filloon

  I choke out a small laugh, shaking my head. I take his hand and face it sideways so that I can place my hand into his and give him a handshake. Giving into the moment, Ziri shakes my hand enthusiastically, almost jerking my arm off. He returns my laugh with one of his own before turning me around by my shoulders and leads me back to my chair. He slightly pushes me down to sit and I look up to find Sema once again smiling at me.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled the way I did. Of course, Cessa wouldn’t have killed Ziri, but they could have maimed each other beyond healing.” I look down at my hands still trembling and not sure what to say.

  “What Tharin should have told you,” she continues, “is that you are bound to the cat emotionally as well as mentally. She will feed off your anger and once released, she will attack whoever it is you’re focused on. Cessa is very much in tune with Tharin. He is marked permanently with her likeness, as you will be in about a month or so. But she is only just learning how you feel, how you react. Your emotions are very raw, so her reactions to someone as untrained as you are very primitive. It’s extremely important that your mind and intentions are clear when you call her forth.”

  I look after the shadows wanting very much to go to Cessa and apologize. Sema catches me and says, “Let her cool down, Lily. You’ll have plenty of time to make things right with her.”

  Again I nod. I look over at Ziri as he cleans up the mess from Cessa’s leap across the table. Sema continues when Ziri finally sits back down with another full plate in front of him. “You should know why we took you the way he did. Tharin would never have agreed to let us take you into our protection. And there was just no time to convince him. So, we did what we had to.”

  I take a drink before saying, “You could have just come to me and asked.”

  “I wonder,” replies Sema thoughtfully, “would you have come? Would you have left Tharin’s side willingly after developing feelings for him?”

  I’m about to swallow my second gulp of water when the shock of Sema knowing my feelings almost chokes me. Coughing, I stare back at her, “Wha…? What do you mean develop feelings for him? Yeah, sure, I mean, I like him as a friend…” I stop talking, noticing the looks on their faces. They don’t believe a word I’m saying. Can I blame them? Even I don’t believe a word I’m saying. I sigh heavily, shrugging my shoulder at them as I pick up my fork and start eating again.

  “It’s all right, Lily,” assures Ziri as he turns his attention back to his plate, “every girl in Tharin’s court falls head over heals for him and only ‘likes him as a friend.’” As he says this, he stabs at a piece of chicken as if stabbing at Tharin. He catches me looking at him curiously and he shrugs his own shoulder back at me. He continues to eat in silence.

  I stab at my own chicken, answering, “Well, Tharin brought me here to marry me for his people’s sake and because of a treaty. But I’m here to find Lucas and take him home.”

  Both Ziri and Sema become still, eyes on me. I look from one to the other wondering what I said wrong this time. Ziri looks over at Sema, then grabs his plate and walks out of the room without a word. I stare after him confused. I look back at Sema and find her searching my face intently.

  “What do you know of your brother, Lily?” she asks leaning back in her chair, her plate of pasta forgotten.

  I put my fork down. “I know four years ago he disappeared and he was taken by an assassin group call the Ange. I know he tried to become king to the Willow Clan, but the clan’s throne refused him. I know he’s been possessed by some being, some ‘evil one’ that has forced him to do unspeakable things.” I think of Tharin’s sister E’leiana. I shake the thought and continue, “I know he’s not what everyone here believes him to be. My brother would never hurt anyone, especially me.”

  “Why?” she asks quietly, demanding an answer.

  I give her an incredulous look. “What do you mean ‘why’? Because I know Lucas, he would never hurt me. He practically raised me. That wasn’t my brother that night, it just wasn’t.”

  Undaunted by my denial, she calmly asks, “And?”

  I sit back bewildered. “And nothing, that’s it. I just want to find my brother and take him home, there’s nothing else to it. What do you want me to say? That…that I came for,” Tharin’s face pops in my mind and I brush his image aside, “…for…for what? I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

  I can feel myself getting angry, worse it feels as if Sema is seeing right through me and seeing more than even I know or want to know. “Come now, Lily. You can’t be that naive?” She leans forward, “What you remember of your brother is that of a young girl. He was missing from your life for four years. In all the years he was gone, not once, not at any time did he reach out to you.”

  “How could he? He was taken over by some evil guy.” I want to sound offended, but there is truth in Sema’s words. I want to believe that something or someone else was keeping Lucas from coming for me.

  “You are right, Lily. Lucas was possessed by a demon named Falsad, but Falsad did not have complete control of Lucas all the time. Before then, Lucas knew what he was doing and he wanted to be king of the Willow Clan, even if it meant having you out of the picture.”

  I shake my head at her denying her words, “No.”

  “Then why didn’t he come for you, Lily? For four years he knew you suffered because of his disappearance. He didn’t bother to calm your fears or put you at ease…to let you know he was all right.”

  “He was trying to protect me, to keep me safe,” I answer desperately.

  “I’m sorry, Lily. We don’t have time for this dance, and there is much more at stake here than Lucas. So, I will tell you now how things stand where he is concerned.”

  I sit quietly, afraid to move. Deep down I know what she’s about to tell me, but something in me refuses to believe it…can’t believe, won’t believe it. And even though knowing this, when she finally says it, it hits me like a ton of bricks.

  “Lily…Lucas is dead.”

  ~ * ~

  Chapter Six

  ~ Lily ~

  I found myself standing outside of the tree’s shelter. I don’t know how long I’ve looking out at a world full of beautiful giant trees. The dark green canopy above shelters me from the rain, but doesn’t completely cut the sound of the downpour out. I like the feel of the chilled air as it cools the searing pain within me.

  Lucas is dead, but Sema didn’t stop there. She told me that Lucas and I are not even blood related. My mother did give birth to a son, but the baby died during the delivery. On the same night, a young Sidhe mother delivered a child but died giving birth to him. The child’s human father passed away only months prior. With no other relative to adopt him, the exchange was made secretively, and Lucas was introduced as Senestra’s firstborn. Only a few were privy to the event: my parents, the midwife who delivered both babies and the midwife’s husband. That midwife was Sema.

  I start walking away from the main landing following another giant branch, looking around me in wonder. I reach a point where the branch splits and I decide to take the one on my left. I follow it until I come to a giant leaf big enough to hold a full-size car. Above it are more giant leaves, and the rain slips from one to the other missing my solitary perch. I move onto it and sit near the edge.

  I sink into despair and wait for the tears, but none come. Memories of my brother assault me and I can’t seem to push them back from where they came. It’s as if the floodgates have been released and everything, every moment, every second I shared with Lucas has been set free. Why have I kept them in for so long? Why did I pack them away like old clothes that no longer fit? The pain in my chest reminds me why.

  I turn to find my brother sitting next to me looking off in the distance. He is as I remembered him. His dark brown hair is cut short and spiked at the top. His broad shoulders are hidden beneath the dark blue hoodie he always wore. His brown eyes are clear, under dark brows and his mouth is slightly tilted up at th
e ends as if remembering a fond memory. His handsome face turns to me and I see the sorrow in his eyes. I reach for him, but my hand goes through him.

  “Hello, Midget,” he greets using his pet name for me as he’s done many times before.

  “Go away, you’re not real,” I answer, turning my back to him.

  When he touches my shoulder, I nearly jump, causing me to place my hands on my leafy perch. I turn to him, eyes wide and terrified that I’ve finally lost my mind.

  With that familiar quirky smile of his, he shakes his head saying, “No, Midget, you’re not going crazy. I really am here.”

  “What the…but how?” I stutter in disbelief.

  He laughs and looks outward. “Look around you, Lily. You’re in Velesi. I know you haven’t had a chance to take in the world around you, but this place is full of magic and wonder. Here, in this realm, everything and anything is possible.”

  He turns to me, “You have no idea how fortunate you are, my Midget. This realm belongs to you. All of it belongs to you,” he hesitates before finishing, “and Tharin.”

  Momentarily forgetting my brother’s state, “Lucas, you can’t let Tharin find you. He and Tolan thinks you killed their sister.”

  Lucas places his hand on mine and I can almost feel the warmth from it. Almost. “Lily, two things: one, I’m already dead. There is nothing anyone, including Tharin, can do to me now. And two – I did kill E’leiana.”

  I pull away from him and the sadness that comes over him confirms the truth. My shock turns to disbelief. “Why? Why would you do that? She was just a kid.”

  “Lily, just listen…please.”

  I don’t want to hear what he has to say, but where am I going to run to? He would haunt me until I gave him what he obviously came for – forgiveness.

  We sit in silence, the rain the only sound around us. Finally, sighing deeply, he starts off slowly, “I’m so sorry, Lily. God, I’ve messed up so bad.”

  He shakes his head and I see the tears well up in his eyes. Trying to control himself, he continues, “Harlu came to me the night of our birthday. He told me who we were and I was the only one that could save our clan. Without me, the Oak Clan would seize our land, imprison our people and banish the name and memory of our parents from the realm forever. He said it was my duty to return with him and take the throne of the Willow Clan as its true King. But you already know how that turned out. The throne refused me.

  “I truly believed everything he told me and I really wanted to save our people. It wasn’t until much later that I realize it was all a bunch of lies. I found out that Harlu was the leader of the Ange, once protectors of Velesi’s royal families. Somewhere along the way an ambitious prince of the Alerce Clan used the Ange to assassinate heirs who stood in his way to his clan’s throne. After the murders they were disbanded by the king’s elite guards. Those who were caught were banished from the realm and the most evil of them were sent to the UnderRealm. Sub rosa groups such as theirs were outlawed and the Ange went into hiding. They’re now hired assassins to the highest bidder.”

  I interrupt him, “So, it was Harlu who brought you here and then betrayed you?” Although he already said so, I wanted him to confirm it again.

  Lucas nods, “Yeah, it was Harlu. He and a demon name Falsad.”

  “A demon?” I think of the Demlok and the thought of him sends terror through me. Sema mentioned this earlier, but I didn’t really grasp it then…trying to defend Lucas, I really wasn’t paying attention. But Lucas has my attention now.

  “Yes, but by the time I found out, I was consumed with the idea of being king. Falsad told me I had every right to the throne. He convinced me Tharin had you and together you would take the throne from me.”

  “But, Lucas, I didn’t even meet Tharin until two days after our birthday,” I point out.

  “I know that now. I was so full of greed and hate that it was too late by the time I figured out how I was being manipulated. For years I believed Tharin and Tolan were my enemies.

  “When Harlu brought me E’leiana, I knew I was way over my head. Despite wanting to be king, I couldn’t fathom how anyone would hurt a child. I mean, I wanted to take Tharin and Tolan down, but not by taking their sister. That’s when Falsad made his move. I was completely possessed. But from somewhere within me, I watched him take a cane to E’leiana. I screamed and begged for him to stop, but he wouldn’t. He just kept beating her until I blacked out. When I awoke I was standing over her, the cane still in my hand.” Lucas shakes his head as I watch the tears fall.

  “Oh my God, Lucas,” I whisper. For a moment we remain quiet, both of us appalled by his telling of E’leiana’s beating.

  Sniffling, he wipes at his eyes, continuing, “I carried her to a path that I knew would lead back to the Oak Tower. I knew it would only be a matter of time before she would be found. Soon after that, I would black out for hours, even days at a time. Each time I came to, Harlu was right there…right there to tell me every little evil deed I did in detail, knowing it was Falsad. He delighted in my anguish, in my horror. He tortured me with the demonic deeds I had committed but couldn’t remember. It wasn’t long before our own people started calling me the ‘Black Prince.’ They hated me, feared me. Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer and I took my own life.”

  “Lucas, no.”

  He turns to me at my shocked denial. “Yes, Lily, it’s all true. How could I go on? I thought maybe if I was dead they couldn’t use me anymore, especially against you. I knew what they had planned for you. But with like everything else, I failed at that, too.”

  I stare out into the jungle trying to wrap my mind around all of what Lucas was telling me. Finally I ask quietly, “When did you kill yourself?”

  “On your birthday,” he answers.

  “How can that be? I saw you two days after in the park,” I reply confused.

  “No, it wasn’t me, Lily. You were at least right about that. It wasn’t me.” He quickly takes my hands, “Listen to me. Falsad is powerful, deceitful and evil, and there’s more going on than just you trying to find me. That doesn’t matter anymore, obviously. Your place is beside Tharin no matter what you think or feel…trust him. I can’t tell you why or how I know, but…”

  “Why not?” I interrupt again.

  “Just listen, Lily. There’s not much time for me here.”

  I swallow, keeping quiet so he can finish. “Falsad and Harlu answer to a demon named Eathos. I don’t know much about him, but a few times I’ve heard Falsad calling and answering to him as ‘master.’ You’re somehow involved in his plans and he needs you. Not because you’re the true heir to the throne, but something bigger – something that will destroy this realm and everything in it.”

  “I don’t get it. Why me?” I ask perplexed.

  “Something to do with who Senestra was,” he answers.

  “Our mother?”

  “No, Lily, your mother. And, not only that, but Harlu has a role to play in this as well.”

  “Like what?”

  Lucas looks outward as if listening to something or someone. He turns to me again and smiles. “I have to go.”

  He looks over my face as if to memorize it. “You’re stronger than you think, Lily. Seems everyone knows this but you. Stop fighting your destiny and start caring about what’s happening around you and what’s happening to you.” He moves a loose lock of hair out of my face. “You’re so beautiful. I always knew you would break hearts.”

  I shake my head trying not to lose control, “Why can’t you stay with me?”

  “Oh, Midget…there are rules that both the living and dead have to abide to. But I do have a favor to ask.”

  “Anything,” I answer, no longer caring about the awful things he was forced to do.

  “I’m in a place call Demus. It’s like purgatory in our world. My fate is undecided and will be so until my body is at rest. Until it’s free from Falsad, I will linger in Demus forever. And, no, it’s not paradise…far from it. I’m
ready to face my fate, whether it’s in the UnderRealm or Eirrell.”

  “Eirrell?”

  “Here they speak of Heaven as a place call Eirrell. It doesn’t matter where I end up, I don’t care. Promise me you’ll find a way to free my body?”

  I reach for his hand and find comfort that it’s solid in my own, “I will Lucas, I promise.”

  Once again Lucas looks about him. He turns back and says, “Your betrothed is here.”

  I straighten up, my heart beating quickly as I look around me. I stare back at Lucas asking, “Are you afraid to see him?”

  “No, I’m not afraid — ashamed. If I could bring back E’leiana, I would. Besides, he can’t see me anyway.” Lucas stands and helps me up.

  “I suppose he would be shocked to find that you’re…you know, dead.” I say.

  “Nah, he’s known of my death for a few days now,” replies Lucas, looking outward into the distance.

  “What?” Tharin knew Lucas was dead? Why didn’t he tell me? Because he needed you to leave with him. The thought leaves me with a feeling of disappointment and anger.

  “My time is up, Lily, I have to go.” Lucas turns to me and gives me the smile I remember so well and have missed so desperately.

  I stand looking up at him, “Will I see you again?”

  “I don’t think so. I don’t think I’m supposed to be here now. One minute I was in Demus, the next I’m here. Maybe because my final wish before death was to see you one last time. I really can’t say.”

  I reach out and feel him solid before me, but I can see him fading at the edges. I hug him tightly. “I love you, Lucas.”

  “I love you, too, Midget. Remember, be strong. There’s no one here to take care of you now that I’m gone.” He looks over to the side and corrects himself, “Well, maybe one.” I look toward the general direction.