The Drifting

by L. Filloon

  I wait until she returns to the bench and takes a seat. “Does Lily know about this? About you letting Harlu take Lucas?”

  “No,” she answers. She looks up at me, “And she won’t ever know.” The threat is there.

  I nod my head slowly and say, “I’ll keep your secret, old woman…for now. But I won’t lie to Lily. If she asks, I will tell her the truth.”

  She stares at me challengingly, but then sighs and relaxes in her seat saying, “So be it.”

  “Okay, but just for the record, that guy’s kinda creepy,” says Lily as she and Ziri enter the room. Lily walks in, but Ziri remains at the doorway, stopping short when he sees me. Lily limps toward the bench area looking like a drowned kitten, her clothes soaked. She shrugs off the blanket around her shoulders. “As for you,” she glares mockingly at Sema, “once I learn how to do whatever it was you did to me in the air, I’m going to do it to you – only I’ll drop you into a lake.”

  Sema smiles fondly at Lily’s words, not looking threatened in the least. Lily sits, lifting her foot to her knee in order to take off her wet boot. Sema waves her hand at Lily, drying her off completely. Lily sits back looking at her dry clothes, touching her hair and grimacing, “My hair must be a mess.” She sighs as she unties the hair knot at her back and quickly runs her hands through her loose locks.

  As she tries to untangle the knots with her fingers, the urge to reach out and run my own hands through the black mass overwhelms me. The chill seems to have gone from her and her eyes seem to have a warm glow to their amber color. The paleness of her skin stands out in contrast to her dark hair and features, and I find that all I want to do is take her in my arms and kiss her.

  Sema clears her throat and gives me a brief scolding look. I give her a cocky grin in return. So, the old woman can read minds. I think back to when Ka interrupted my conversation with Tolan, a feat that’s never been done before. I’ll have to find a way to shield my private thoughts from the two later, but for now I’m going to love keeping her on her toes.

  I slowly conjure an image of Lily and me in an intimate embrace. I meant to do this for Sema’s benefit but find myself getting lost in my vision of a passionate Lily in my arms. Whap! I don’t know how she did it, but Sema just mental slapped me. I turn to her laughing. She’s standing and fully facing me now with her hands on her hips, a furious frown on her face and a scolding ready on her lips.

  Lily turns to the doorway, calling out to Ziri. “Well, I guess I’m ready for the next lesson.” She lifts her hands up showing him that she’s dried and ready. Ziri ignores her and keeps his eyes on me. Confused, Lily turns to the direction of his focus and then looks over at Sema, staring like an angry schoolteacher at the same location as Ziri. Lily looks back and forth between Sema and Ziri. And after a moment, she stands staring in my direction.

  “Who’s here?”

  ~ * ~

  Chapter Twelve

  ~ Lily ~

  I knew what Sema would say before answering, “Tharin is here, Lily. He came to see how you were doing.”

  For a moment, the room is quiet. I hear Ziri leave from behind me and I turn in time to see his receding back. I guess he’ll keep to himself whatever issues he has with Tharin. I wanted to ask him during our lessons what he meant by his remark during dinner last night. It’ll have to wait.

  I turn to see Sema composing herself. She seems distracted and irritated by something Tharin said to her. She looks at me and gives me a small smile. “You can speak with Tharin, Lily, but you need to be in the drift state. Or, if you like” she offers with a bit of insistence in her voice, “I can stay and give you his responses.”

  Not wanting to offend Sema, I gently say, “Thank you, but you’ve done so much for me already. I think I can handle this on my own and…” I look away from her stare, “I would like to speak with Tharin privately, please.” I know it’s not the answer she’s looking for, but it’s the only one I’m giving her. I don’t want her to hear our conversation. Besides, it looks like she’s easily irritated by Tharin.

  “Very well,” she finally consents. “I will stay until you’re in the drift state. I will help you through the process.”

  “Oh, that won’t be necessary, Sema,” I say rising and walking toward her. I take her by the arm, hugging it to me while leading her to the door. “I’ve been in the drift state before. Tharin taught me.” She sighs resignedly and removes my hand from her arm. Looking behind me, she gives Tharin an evil eye.

  “I’ll be outside if you need me,” she says giving me a warm smile. Once she’s out of the room, I turn slowly toward the bed. I think for a moment on whether I should repeat my speech before I go through the drift state or face him when I do it. Resigned to my fate, I walk to the bed and climb on. I want to be comfortable, but in reality, I’m only delaying seeing Tharin again. Nervously, I lie back onto the pillows and close my eyes and wait.

  “You have to open your eyes and come to me, Lily,” whispers Tharin close to my ear.

  I like the feel of his nearness. A subtle thrill starts at my toes and makes its way up to my head and I try to keep my breathing normal. I remain within myself, although I know my body has already anchored itself to the bed.

  “Lily,” he calls his voice a bit louder than a whisper now. I smile again, but I keep my eyes closed. “Lily,” he calls once more, this time his voice is stern, impatient and annoyed. My eyes fly open to find irritated green eyes peering at me. Déjà vu hits me. It’s like the first time we met all over again.

  “Why are you always yelling at me?” I ask casually, still within my body.

  “Why do you insist on playing with my emotions, woman?” he counters.

  Woman? I don’t believe I’ve ever been called that by any guy I know, at least not in that manner. I like it, especially coming from him. I take his remark in stride and lay staring up at him. When I remain quiet, he gives me a perplexed look, “What?”

  Not waiting for an answer, his eyes roam down my body sending the earlier subtle thrill into a chaotic break dance of unfamiliar emotions. I blush and quickly get up. I really don’t understand how he does that to me with just a look.

  I move toward the middle of the room and glance back at myself on the bed. I look so peaceful and it’s almost like looking at someone else. I lie with my hands clasped on my stomach looking like Sleeping Beauty…that is until I notice my hair. Oh God, I look like crap. Subconsciously, my hands reach for my hair. Tharin straightens from his kneeling position to stand with his feet planted apart, arms crossed. He gives me a crooked grin and his eyes watch closely as I try to re-knot my hair. It’s impossible to do so in this state. I sigh, giving up on the tangled mass, and stare back at him, no longer in a good mood.

  “You should’ve called before you came,” I say awkwardly, only to realize the ridiculousness of my question. Call on what, my cell? I don’t have one. I left mine at home in my rush to leave because he bullied me that first night we met. I take a breath to control my nervousness at being with him again. I give him a steady stare, waiting.

  ‘Why do the women in this thela feel they are able to question the actions of their future king?” I can’t be sure if he’s kidding or not, but I feel my irritation taking over my nervousness.

  “And why does the future king feel he has any right to show up whenever he feels like it? We’re not married yet, Tharin and until then, you don’t have any right to be in my room. In fact, even after we’re married you don’t have any rights to my room.”

  “After we’re married there will be only one room.”

  “Oh, really? And what would Kalis think about that, huh?”

  “Kalis knows her place,” he answers shrugging a shoulder at me.

  I stare at him in disbelief at the enormity of his arrogance. I take a step toward him feeling my anger rise, “Oh my God, Tharin. Do you even hear yourself? What is it with you? Is this realm so backward that it’s stuck in medieval times? And you along with it? If you think I’m going to
be like every chick in this realm who supposedly has ‘fallen head over heals’ for you, think again buddy…it ain’t happening. In my world, we women have rights to who we want in our bedroom.”

  He drops his arms and the playful grin on his face disappears. He takes a step toward me, anger flickering in his eyes. “You listen to me, betrothed – you are not in your world. In fact, this realm is now your world, and you will obey what I say. And there better damn well be no other but me in that supposed room of yours. You got that?”

  I stare at the finger he’s pointing at my face and glare up at him, “Bullshi–”

  Suddenly, Tharin cries out and falls to his knees, his hands grabbing at his head thrown back in obvious pain. I rush to him, my hands grabbing at his chest and shoulder. “Tharin, what’s wrong?” He lets out a gasp of pain before falling forward on me. He drops one of his arms around my shoulder, his hand at his temple. His eyes are shut tightly and his lips pulled back in a painful grimace.

  “Look,” I say still angry, but at the same time fighting the panic rising in me. “You’re supposed to fall to your knees after I kick your ass for being an arrogant son-of-a-biscuit-eater.”

  After a moment, Tharin seems to get himself under control. He looks at me breathing hard and nodding, “I…I’ll remember that next time.” He must’ve seen the worry on my face despite my efforts to stay mad at him because he starts to rub my shoulder. “My body, Lily. I need to get back to my body. Someone is attacking the thela…the oak I’m in.”

  I nod, trying to help him up, “Okay, okay…we can call Sema to help us.”

  “No,” he says holding me back. I allow him to put his weight on me as I try to steady the both of us. “I don’t trust her,” he whispers as I look up at him confused. He captures my gaze saying, “Lily, you’re not suppose to be able to do this, you know that right?”

  “Do what?”

  “When we’re in the drift state you’re not suppose to be able to touch me, nor me you; not to mention you being able to support me like this.”

  I shake my head at him even more confused. “Tharin, just tell me how to get you back.”

  “You’re going to have to travel back with me. I don’t think I have enough strength or will to get back on my own. I’m already weakened by the distance and now with the oak under attack, its torment is weakening me as well.”

  I nod again, “Okay… how?”

  “Once we’re there I’ll take care of what’s going on. Just stay to the side in the shadows. When it’s over, I should be able to bring you back.”

  “Tharin! Will you just tell me already?” I look at him frustrated. I’ve never seen Tharin in pain and witnessing it now is scaring the hell out of me.

  “All right, Lily. First, try to remember that everyone is connected by the stream of life…we’re all connected.” He gasps again at another attack, but this one is less painful. He swallows before continuing, “When we’re drifting, it’s the stream, the silver lining that keeps us tethered to our bodies. We can see our own silver lining, but not another’s. So, I’m going to visualize mine in my mind and send it to you. That way…”

  “Okay, I see it. Now what?” I interrupt.

  I see the silver lines, but they look more like one continuous string of twinkling white light. I follow mine to the bed where my body lies. The line seems to be attached to the area where the solar plexus is located. I look at Tharin’s, but his light isn’t as strong as mine. I don’t know if it has to do with the distance he was talking about, or with the pain he’s experiencing. I turn to Tharin and find him staring at me with a startled expression, his mouth open as if stunned. “What?” I ask.

  Shaking his head, he answers, “Nothing, never mind. We’ll talk about it later.”

  I give him a perplexed look, “What?”

  He ignores me. “Look at my life stream, Lily. Concentrate on it and hold on to me. If for any reason I’m unable to go on, you need to picture my body at the oak thela to continue the journey back.” He sends me an image of him lying on a large block of wood within a thela. The room is empty so there’s not much for me to memorize. I concentrate on the details and after a moment I give him a nod.

  I take a deep breath and hold on to Tharin for dear life.

  “Stay focused and whatever happens, don’t let me go.” Tharin takes a step forward following the silver lining. I take a tentative step with him and then another and another until we’re walking through the walls of the kavi thela and out into the open. I look about me and then down below us. I wonder if I’ll ever touch the ground again.

  As soon as we’re out, Tharin is once again attacked. He collapses and his full weight is on me and I almost buckle under him. I look ahead to see Tharin’s life stream waning and fading even more in the distance. I look behind me and my silver lining grows bright and strong and continues into the kavi tree to where I left my body. I have to give Tharin what energy I can and without knowing what I’m doing, I place my hand on the center of his chest where his lining feeds into him. I breathe deeply and will my strength to him. It takes only a second, if that, for me to feel as if I’ve just run a hundred-meter race. The exhaustion is quick, but I open my eyes when I feel him shift against me. I look up and the look he gives me makes me forget my earlier anger. He slowly takes my hand from his chest and brings it to his lips. He softly kisses the inside of my palm and places another at the pulsing area of my wrist. I feel weak. He catches me up in his arms and lowers his head to my ear. He nuzzles it gently before whispering, “Don’t let go.”

  And for once, I do as he says…just this one time, I lie to myself. I cling to him and close my eyes for a moment wanting so much for this closeness to last forever, to never come down from this high.

  My stomach finally drops when the realization hits me that it’ll never happen. He kissed my hand because he was grateful for what I did. When it’s over and done, he’ll send me back to Sema and he’ll go home to Kalis. Damn it. Why do I always have these afterthoughts? Why can’t I just enjoy the damn moment?

  I open my eyes and watch as the trees rush at us, going out of focus as we travel at a tremendous speed. We shoot out of the trees into the open, and we’re going so fast the rain doesn’t seem to touch us. Within minutes, I feel us slowing down and I look below to find that we’re above a forest of thick trees. They’re not as big as the kavi as we seem to be moving above them and I can see the actual ground. We slow further as Tharin lowers us into an open area surrounded by trees. A rocky cliff nearby roars as a large waterfall thunders to the lake below. Everywhere you look it’s lush and green. As we near the ground, Tharin shifts us to the left and we speed through the forest of oaks until we reach a smaller open area. The sound of voices can be heard the closer we near the opening. We stop at the edge and find two women in black clothing standing in the middle of the clearing. Humans? There are humans in Velesi?

  Tharin pulls me closer and whispers, “They can’t see us, but let’s not take any chances. Keep holding on to me, Lily.” He moves back until he’s looking into my eyes. I swallow and nod silently. I turn back toward the women and note they’re not much older than me. The taller of the two has red hair cut shoulder-length, hanging in braids. Her brown eyes match that of the girl standing next to her. The shorter one is a dark brunette, her hair tied at the back of her neck, falling down to her waist. Their clothes are tight black pants, black jerseys with black buckle knee-high boots.

  They each hold small crystal balls in their hands. The taller one would point out three different trees and they would throw a crystal ball at their targets. Each time the trees are hit, the crystal balls explode silently, giving off a vibration that spreads out to the surrounding trees. I shield myself, but I think being in the drift numbs me a little against their pain. That’s why I didn’t feel any distress from the trees as we neared.

  I get it now. The women don’t know which tree Tharin is in, so they’re attacking all the trees in the clearing. That’s why there’s been t
ime between each of Tharin’s attacks and why the first attack was worse than those that followed. Focusing, I reach out to the trees around me and I’m almost knocked to my knees. I try to calm them but don’t seem to make much of an impact. I have to touch them, to let them feel me in return. I let go of Tharin as he turns to make his move. He comes up short when I pull away. “Lily!”

  I ignore him as I reach for the ground and concentrate on putting my fingers to the grass, to feel the dirt underneath it. I close my eyes and focus on reaching past the surface. In my mind, I see my energy move underground and seek the roots of the trees around me. Once I touch the roots of the first tree, my energy quickly spreads like fire from tree to tree.

  “Peace,” I soothe gently.

  As quickly as I reached out to them, the trees reach back to me as if dying of thirst and I’m the only source of water to them. Greedily they drink from me, filling what energy they’ve lost by the women’s assault and I freely open myself to them. I feel myself go rigid as eons of waiting weigh down upon me. The songs rush me in myriad of pitches, tone, senseless rhythm and chaos. And somewhere within its crescendo, we become one.

  I witness the seasons come and go in an endless loop and still I wait. I witness the creatures of this place nest, nurture and die here and still I wait. I see the storms of nature, the fires of beings and the ravaging of beasts and still I wait. I am forever. I am eternity. I am nature.

  Strong hands pull my own from the earth, disconnecting me from the waiting, the damnable waiting.

  “It’s all right, Lily. The trees are safe now,” whispers Tharin. I look up at him and reach to touch his face only to have my hand go through him. I look at him confused at what’s happening.

  “Sema is calling you back, my love. I’ll come for you again…I promise.” I watch as Tharin and all that surrounds me fade away. The sensation of traveling, speeding through space once again comes over me, but I ignore it. I feel so tired, so drained. It’s as if I’ve run a thousand hundred-meter races.