by Kim Cano
Afterward, Jess’ mom grabbed her bag and shoved it into the trunk. She closed the hatch and glanced back at her daughter and they exchanged a look. Her mom got into the car, and Jess paused before climbing into the passenger seat.
Jess looked one last time at the prison building. She could never have imagined she’d think a faded brick enclosure surrounded by barbed wire could be a beautiful place.
But it was.
And she would miss it. The good times she’d had with her friends. The memories they made.
Most of all she’d miss her one and only true love…Abigail.
Chapter 39
The holidays were lonely for Kristen. She hadn’t gotten a new cellmate, and everyone she knew and liked was gone. Her parents still deposited the Christmas money, which was nice. She realized that despite all their faults, this was a way of saying they still thought of her. And she’d gotten a card from Lupe. She was doing great and everyone in her family was healthy. Still loving Las Vegas.
Jess had sent her a book and a card. In it, she’d written that she and her mom were remodeling the kitchen, and that she was still trying to readjust to life on the outside. She was looking for a job so she could save some money but still hadn’t found one. She said it wasn’t always easy, but that she was doing well. “I’m learning how to hope again,” she’d written.
Kristen smiled after she read the note. She had no doubt in her mind Jess would figure things out. And she told her so in her return letter, thanking her for the book.
Ryan and Valerie sent a card, and they’d included the latest picture of Melissa. Ryan wrote, “Can’t wait ’til next Christmas, Mom. We’ll be spending it together.”
Kristen couldn’t wait either.
She’d also gotten a card from Toby. He and his girlfriend had broken up and he was devastated, which made Kristen sad. She knew how much pressure he was under taking care of his dad, and now this. She wished she could hug him and tell him everything would be all right, but he’d have to learn that on his own. Like she did. That always seemed to be the best way.
Olivia had sent a book, a card, and a letter. Kristen had so enjoyed the letter she sat down to read it again.
Kristen,
Hope you’re doing okay this Christmas. Last one there, thank God. I’ll bet you miss your friend Jess. I’m glad you two were able to mend things and end up on a positive note.
Now for the holiday gossip. It’s cool that you know about Cindy so I can share this with you. Anyway, you know how she left when Jeremy got paralyzed? Well, she recently came back. She wanted to make up with him and said she was sorry, but he wasn’t having it. He may have trouble speaking now and it sounds slurred, but he still has a way with words, if you know what I mean. I guess he asked her to leave and said he didn’t want to see her again. He said he couldn’t count on her. Toby said she cried and made quite a scene.
Bob said hello. He said we’ll see you next year at Christmas. Happy Holidays!
Love ya,
Olivia
Kristen thought of Cindy, and for the first time, felt sad for her. Maybe she wasn’t a bitch after all. Most likely she was a nice person who had just gotten overwhelmed and made a mistake. It happened. She knew she’d made a few mistakes herself. In fact, at this point, she probably held a PhD in fucking shit up.
Kristen laughed at the idea even though it wasn’t funny. She was fond of saying if you couldn’t find humor in things you’d go insane. There were murderers who had gotten less time than her, but she’d stopped trying to figure that out or appeal her sentence. She just served her time the best she could. And now here she was, leaving pretty soon. Maybe it was good she was alone this Christmas. Next year, she wouldn’t have anyone to miss or say goodbye to.
The months passed quickly and without incident. No one got shanked, no one committed suicide, and a sense of monotony seemed to have set in. But in a good way.
All Kristen had to do was sit and wait.
And think of the surprise Olivia had in store for her. Olivia said she would be the one to pick her up when she got out, and that she’d take her home after they went somewhere together first. One more day wouldn’t change things, she’d said. Only she wouldn’t say where they were going. She had left Kristen hanging in suspense.
There had been some good news in the last month too. Toby had scoured the internet and watched YouTube physical therapy videos. With the information he’d gained, he worked with his dad, and to everyone’s surprise, there was mild improvement. Jeremy was slowly regaining movement in his hand. Kristen was amazed at what could be found online now.
A month before Kristen was set to leave prison, she got a letter from Jess.
Kristen,
Bet you’re excited as heck to leave. I wish you luck, although you’re not going to need it. I’m sure everything will turn out great. You’ll see.
Things are going better for me. I finally found a job at a school, as a maintenance person. You know how I like to fix stuff. It pays decent and has benefits.
Oh, there’s one other thing. I met someone. She’s a teacher here and she’s really nice.
Jess
Kristen smiled after she finished reading.
Abigail would like that, she thought.
*****
The day had finally come for Kristen to leave prison. She had dreamed what it would be like. Wondered where she’d go and what she’d do. Now all those questions would be answered. She didn’t know what the future held, but she knew where to start.
A guard stopped by and she looked up. “You have an appointment with Megan,” she said.
“That’s odd,” she said aloud. She hadn’t set one up.
When she arrived in Megan’s office, the guard un-cuffed her and she sat down.
“Didn’t think I’d let you leave without saying goodbye, did you?” Megan asked.
Kristen smiled. “That was nice of you. I would’ve made an appointment, but I don’t like to take up your time. I know how busy you are.”
“Never too busy for important patients,” Megan said. “So how are you doing? Are you good? Is there anything on your mind you’d like to discuss before you go?”
Sighing, Kristen said, “I guess I am pretty nervous. I’ve been gone a long time. I don’t know what to expect. Part of me wants them to jump for joy and would love a big party with balloons and streamers, but part of me wants it to be low key.”
“Your family is probably just as nervous as you, just as unsure how to welcome you back. How about this: when you get there, try to go with whatever they’ve planned. Don’t have any expectations.”
“I’ll do that. I want them to be comfortable, even if I’m not. I’m worried to see Jeremy though. It’s been such a long time.” Kristen hadn’t told Megan of the stroke, so she didn’t bring it up now.
“Take it day by day. That’s all you can do,” Megan said. She paused and added, “And how do you feel about drinking? Any thoughts?”
Kristen shook her head. “I don’t think about it much. But I’m not sure how I’ll do when I have access to it. I want to think I’ll never touch it again. That’s what I hope.”
“Don’t forget, there are support groups. You can find one just about anywhere. But you already know this. I know you’ll do well.”
“Thanks, Megan. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
The session ended, and Megan stood and reached out to shake Kristen’s hand. “Good luck,” she said.
“Thanks,” Kristen said, letting her hand go. “Thanks for everything.”
The next morning, Kristen filled out all her paperwork, changed out of her uniform and was handed a small bag of her belongings. After stepping outside, she spotted Olivia and they ran toward each other. They hugged and laughed and squealed like teenagers.
“Hop in,” Olivia said, throwing Kristen’s bag in the back seat.
Kristen opened the door and climbed in, and after slamming it shut, they sped away, the interior o
f the vehicle filled with the sound of bubbly, girly chatter.
Kristen never looked back. She’d already said goodbye to everyone she cared about and was ready to move on.
“Holy shit, you’re buff!” Olivia said. “You look awesome!”
“Thanks. I’ve had plenty of free time to work out.”
“You never had a problem with weight.”
Kristen giggled. “One of the few things I didn’t have a problem with.”
“You want some gum?”
“Sure.”
Olivia handled the steering wheel with one hand while rummaging through her purse with the other. “Here you go,” she said, handing her a piece.
After popping it into her mouth, Kristen asked, “So are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
Olivia grinned. “You’ll see soon enough. Trust me.”
They continued their easy conversation, like they’d only just seen each other last week and were just catching up. Within a half hour, they pulled into the parking lot at a fancy hotel.
“What’s all this?” Kristen asked.
“Just a little treat. I figured you might like a nice meal, a good night’s sleep, some pampering.”
Kristen was overwhelmed and started to get teary-eyed. “Oh, my God. You’ve really outdone yourself. I had no idea.”
“That’s why it’s called a surprise,” she said. “Now let’s head in. There’s more.”
The two checked in and went to their room. It was a junior suite, decorated to the hilt with crisp white linens, white roses, sheer white floaty drapes, and a massive jetted tub.
“I figured you’d like to get cleaned up in private, maybe take a bath and chillax,” Olivia said. She walked to the side of one of the queen beds and pulled out a shopping bag. “I got you a few new outfits too.”
Tears spilled from Kristen’s eyes. She was overjoyed.
Olivia handed her the bag. “Take your time. There’s no rush. We have dinner reservations at six. You still like filet mignon?”
Kristen nodded yes and smiled brightly. She hugged Olivia. “Thanks for this,” she said, and then took off skipping to the bathroom with her bag.
Once inside, Kristen slipped off her worn and out of style old street clothes. She picked up the hotel shampoo that was displayed on the side of the tub. She took off the cap and inhaled the delicious fragrance, a combination of floral and a spice she couldn’t place. A whole lot better than the bar of soap she’d been given to wash her hair with in prison or the generic shampoo she could buy at Canteen.
Kristen filled the tub with water, turned on the jets, and when she climbed in, let out a satisfied sigh. That was more like it, she thought. No one sitting on the toilet nearby. Some privacy. Finally.
After soaking so long she’d pruned, Kristen decided she should probably get out. She didn’t want to, but there was the steak dinner still, and she was equally excited about that. She forced herself up, reached for a fluffy towel, and then wrapped it around her head and put on the robe they’d so kindly hung on the door.
Kristen heard a light knock.
“Come in,” she said.
Olivia poked her head in. “I forgot to give you this.” She handed her a bag from Sephora.
Kristen pulled the contents out. A make-up kit, some hair products, a mini perfume.
“That’s from Cocoa,” Olivia said before Kristen could put a sentence together.
“Cocoa shops at Sephora?” Kristen teased.
“Of course. Only the best for that cat!”
Kristen shook her head. “I’m blown away. Thanks so much. This is amazing.”
Olivia smiled. “Don’t worry about it. Enjoy. I’m gonna go watch TV while you’re doing your thing.”
A half hour later, Kristen emerged from the bathroom wearing one of her new outfits. When Olivia saw her, she sat up and smiled. “That’s the sister-in-law I know and love. Now let’s eat. I’m starved.”
Once seated at the upscale steak house, the waiter arrived to take their drink order. “Here’s the wine list,” he said, handing it to Kristen.
There was an uncomfortable moment, but Kristen diffused it. “None for me, thanks. But I think Olivia might want a glass.”
Olivia hesitated.
“Please,” Kristen said. “Order whatever you usually get. Don’t worry.”
Olivia took Kristen’s suggestion and went with a glass of Pinot noir. Kristen chose a Coke. When the drinks arrived, Kristen found the scent of the glass of wine still appealed to her and remembered Megan’s advice to join a support group. She would definitely do that, she thought. Soon.
After chatting for what seemed like only a moment, the steaks arrived. Kristen cut into hers and took a bite. The sound she made was almost indecent.
“It’s good. No?” Olivia asked.
Kristen was still chewing. “I think it’s the best steak I’ve ever eaten.”
*****
After an incredible night’s sleep, it was time for check out. Kristen thought they were on their way to Jeremy’s place but Olivia had told her not yet.
“You mean there’s more?”
Olivia grinned. “One more stop. Then you’ll be ready to go home.”
They drove to an upscale hair salon, and Olivia parked the car.
“We have to do something about your hair and nails. I’ll be honest. They’re awful.”
They hadn’t had the best haircuts in prison, and styles had definitely changed. Kristen nodded. “You’re right. I really do need help with this,” she said while flipping her hair and making a disgusted face. “How can I ever repay you?”
Olivia waved her hand in front of Kristen, shushing her. “C’mon,” she said. “You’ve got an appointment.”
Two hours later, Kristen looked like a beautiful woman again. She already had the figure, she just lacked the necessary polishing. Now she was back in business, with blonde, shoulder-length hair, freshly polished nails, and wearing one of her new outfits.
Kristen looked in the mirror and nearly cried because she almost didn’t recognize herself. Or maybe it was that she finally did.
“You ready to go home?” Olivia asked her.
Standing straighter but feeling nervous, Kristen replied, “I sure am.”
Chapter 40
Kristen had prepared for this day thousands of times. She knew it would be overwhelmingly emotional for her, and probably for her family too, but she didn’t want it to be. She wanted to play the role of a calm, happy mother, one that could just be returning home from a trip to the grocery store. That might make it easier, she thought. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to pull it off but having the new outfit and hairdo helped build her confidence a little. Fake it until you make it, or so the saying went.
Olivia pulled up to the house. It looked similar to the one they had before, the one they had lost.
A knot formed in Kristen’s stomach, and her chest grew tight.
Relax, she thought. You have nothing to fear.
Kristen took a few deep breaths that she knew Olivia could hear. Luckily, Olivia pretended not to notice. Maybe she was on the same page. Make this a casual thing, low-key. Kristen opened the car door, and her hands were visibly shaking. She felt the tears coming but willed them back through sheer force. She wouldn’t ruin her beautiful make up for anything. Not today.
“I’ll get your bags from the trunk,” Olivia said in a soft tone.
Kristen couldn’t find her voice, so she nodded.
An all-out panic attack gripped Kristen as they got closer to the door. It opened before they knocked, and Toby stood there, looking all grown up.
“Hey, Mom!” he cried out before giving her a big hug.
Kristen wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight. She hadn’t seen him in years. She loved him so much she never wanted to let go.
“Ow! I can’t breathe,” he said. His comment made the three of them laugh, bringing a bit of relief from the tension.
“Sorry, honey,�
�� Kristen said as she smiled. “I just love you so much.”
Toby looked into his mom’s eyes, more serious now. “Love you too, Mom. Let’s go in. Everyone’s waiting.”
Kristen nodded, and then followed him into the house. When she stepped in the foyer, she saw a very grown-up Ryan. He looked like a man now. Next to him stood Valerie, and wobbling to her side was Melissa.
The three of them came toward her, all smiling.
“Mom. This is my wife, Valerie,” Ryan said.
Kristen extended a hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Don’t even,” she said and gave Kristen a big hug and kiss. When she pulled away, she added, “We’re family now. No need to be formal.”
Kristen smiled brighter. She was trying her best not to cry. So far, she was succeeding.
“I always wanted a daughter,” Kristen admitted. “No offense,” she said to Ryan.
Ryan giggled. “I knew that. But now look who you’ve got to spoil,” he said, lifting Melissa up.
Kristen’s heart swelled so large it almost burst from her chest. “Hello,” she said in a baby voice. “So nice to meet you.”
Melissa looked unsure and hid her face in Ryan’s chest.
“Ah, don’t worry. She’s just shy. Once she spends some time with you, the two of you will be inseparable.”
That was music to Kristen’s ears. She could think of nothing she’d like more.
“Would you like something to drink?” Valerie asked. “We have soda, water, tea, lemonade.”
“Lemonade. Thanks,” Kristen replied.
As she walked away, Olivia took Kristen’s bags and set them down next to the sofa. Kristen did a quick scan for Jeremy and didn’t see him. Then Ryan stepped forward and hugged her tight.
“I missed you, Mom,” he whispered. “Glad to have you back.”
“Missed you too,” Kristen replied. This time her voice cracked a bit.
Valerie returned with an ice cold glass of lemonade, and Kristen took a sip. It tasted amazing. She had taken such simple things for granted before. No more. She would savor everything she ate, drank, or did from now on. Unless one had been imprisoned, they could never understand.