Every Rose

by Halat, Lynetta

  “I’ve always loved it here. I usually bring a blanket out when it’s nice and study on the far side of the lake where it’s quiet. I never dreamed of experiencing it with you at night like this. It’s breathtaking.”

  We fall into a companionable silence as Michael takes my hand and we make our way around the lake. They are little trails darting in and out of the trees and shrubs. These little trails are spectacularly lit up. I’ve taken my heels off and hold them in one hand while Michael holds my other. Every time that I come to a log, I feel the need to turn it in to my own personal balance beam. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this buoyant in my whole life. I keep looking at Michael, expecting him to evaporate before my very eyes. We only have a few days together, and that’s the only thing keeping my feet on the ground right now. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure that I’d just float off into the great unknown.

  I move to step off the log and suddenly Michael spins me around like we are dancing and pulls me in until I stumble into his chest. So much for feeling graceful and weightless, I think. “Hi,” I whisper as I realize I’m only several centimeters from his face. I’m looking down at him slightly, and his look is serious as he forces me to drop my shoes, places my hands on his chest, and moves his hands into my hair, unclipping it. I close my eyes and tilt my head back as I revel in the feel of his hands gliding through my hair. He leans in and buries his nose in my hair. I feel and hear him breath deeply. My entire body quakes.

  His hands run down my neck and back until they come to a rest on my hips. “Mmm…You have no idea how alluring you are, do you? My God, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. That’s what I thought the very first time I saw you. That’s what I thought when I was fighting with you outside the restaurant. That’s what I thought the first moment I saw you sitting at Mona’s. It’s as if I will never get used to how beautiful you are, inside and out. Just pure beauty.”

  His words cause something in me to splinter off and break free. I almost weep at his sincerity. What did I ever do to deserve this level of adoration? I don’t get it; I just hope that I can live up to it.

  We make our way around the lake, making small talk and enjoying each other. We reach the gazebo that juts out over the lake; it looks like something out of a fairy tale. It’s completely lit up as well and is reflected in the lake, doubling the splendid luminosity.

  Michael takes my shoes from me and kneels down before me to help me with them. I put my hands on his shoulders and swallow the lump in my throat as he looks up at me with what can only be described as the most beautiful gleam in the world. I only smile a little because it somehow breaks my heart at the same time.

  “Lorraina, the night I proposed to you was one of the best nights of my life. Later, I thought about it and felt like I didn’t do it justice, though.”

  I give him a worried frown and assure, “Your proposal was perfect. I wouldn’t trade it for all the flowery language in Othello.”

  He snickers a little. “Well, it wasn’t that it was bad per say. We were both reduced to blubbering idiots, and I never want you to question my hasty proposal or your yes because I’ve dreamt of being your husband my whole life. And I’ve never wanted anything more. And,” he pauses, “I didn’t have this.” He pulls out a little box, which takes my breath away before he even opens it. My hands fly up to cover my open mouth. I figured with his current starving student status I would get a wedding band one day but not an engagement ring.

  “Lorraina, you’ve made me the happiest person on earth these past few months. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve never imagined any moment more than this one. Except maybe the one where you walk down the aisle towards me and make me yours. Or the first time we make love. Or the moment when we have our own place together, and I make it beautiful so that every day when you wake up you smile at the ridiculous amount of happiness you feel just by walking around our little place cuz baby it will be little but we will be happy. Or maybe the one when we have our first child. A girl we call Rose who is as stunning as you inside and out and who has my tenacity for life. Or maybe when we have our little boy who we call Wyatt cuz that’s the name of a little boy who is well loved yet dances with trouble just like his old man. I’ve imagined all these moments and then some; but they all begin with this one, which is why it is my favorite.” He takes a deep, steadying breath while all I can do is stare at him adoringly. “Lorraina Marion, will you marry me? Will you be my love, my life for all eternity?” He cracks the little box open, and I see a little pearl waiting for me and my answer. I can’t make out much more than that because tears have almost completely distorted my vision.

  I drop to my knees and frame his face with my hands while I just stare at him and take him all in. I want to remember this perfect moment for the rest of my life, every little detail. The woodsy smell of him, the warm temperature, the little duck noises, the soft wind stirring my hair. The fact that I’m barefoot and looking at the most incredible man I’ve ever known and ever will know.

  “I don’t think I could ever doubt your intentions towards me, Michael, seeing as this is your third proposal.” I watch his eyes brighten as he remembers our first conversation during which he told me that he was my future husband. I grin at him and answer, “I know I rebuffed your first proposal, or perhaps it was more of a declaration, but this will be my second yes, so never doubt it.” I take a deep breath and confirm, “Yes, Michael Leon, I will marry you; and we will have the most amazing, most loving life together. I love you. So much.”

  We kiss forever as my tears spill over both of us. His wish for a blubber free proposal effectively ruined once again.

  ………………………………………………………………

  I stare at myself and will myself to move away from the mirror and into the room. Michael has no idea that I plan to seduce him tonight, and I’m suddenly a little nauseous. What if he turns me down? I don’t know if I could take it. I need him so much. Now more than ever. I let my eyes trail down my nightgown. I tried to pick something sexy, but those outfits weren’t me. I settled on an ivory gown that has soft, muted ribbons of color and lace around the neckline. The front is quite demur. When I turn around, though, that’s a different story. I spin and take in the sight again. I’ve never worn anything this beautiful in all my life. I reach to tie the gown at the top with the thin ribbon and glimpse my pearl next to the fabric. The color is almost identical. I smile and let my gaze run over the open tear shape that leaves my back bare and rests just slightly above my bottom. I bite my lip and think here goes nothing.

  I force myself to exit the bathroom, and my eyes search the room for Michael immediately. He’s leaning over the TV wearing nothing but my favorite dark gray pajama bottoms. “I almost got it,” he says, putting a movie in. “There we go. You ready—” His words stop abruptly as he turns and looks at me in my gown. OK. Maybe it’s not that demur. I bite my bottom lip again, which is becoming an almost constant reaction with him around. I try to release it and end up running my tongue over it before biting it again. “If you had any idea what I want to with that lip right now…” He leaves the threat/promise hanging in the air between us. It bolsters my courage.

  I walk over to him and put my hands on his chest. “I know you want to wait, but Michael it just feels right. I need you so badly, and I know you need me too. Please don’t say no to me, to us. I feel like we’ve waited long enough to be together, don’t you?” I wait with bated breath.

  He stares at me a moment and seems to come to some kind of decision. I can’t tell which one, though. He leans in and kisses me tenderly. No, no, I cry in my head. He’s going to tell me no. His reluctance is tangible. He pulls back a little to murmur, “I want to…so bad, but I don’t have any protection.” Oh, thank God.

  My cheeks warm because he’s about to realize this was all premeditated. “Umm…I’ve been on the pill for a few months now. I don’t think we have to worry about the other stuff, seeing as we’ve both abs
tained for so long.”

  “Oh. Oh, good,” he gets out before he begins to devour me with his hands and his kisses. I hear him groan as his hands brush my naked back. He slows down to pull back, and I see desire swimming in his eyes. I pray I’m good at this. I don’t want to let him down. His look says he’s about to get everything he’s ever wanted. “Are you sure?” I nod my head enthusiastically. “Cuz I’m pretty sure I would die right here on this spot if you asked me to stop,” he says on a grin. “I’ve wanted you all my life.”

  “I’m sure. I’ve never been more sure about anything or anyone,” I tell him.

  He smiles at me before he begins to kiss me, more tenderly this time. He pulls back to focus his kisses on my chin, my jaw, my neck. I’m lost as his kisses leave me hot but shivering. He chuckles against my throat at my reaction. I run my hands through his hair as I force him to apply more pressure to the kisses that are simultaneously feeding my need and driving me crazy.

  His hands start moving again in tandem with his mouth. Where his hands go his mouth follows. When his hands trace my breasts, I know I’m in trouble. When his mouth brushes my satin-covered nipple, I almost come undone. But he extends that sweet cruelty rather than letting me dwell on it as he tastes and teases one while rubbing the other and then lavishes the other with his mouth, showing them both equal attention.

  He breaks away from me and walks around me to remove my gown. I hear his sharp intake of breath as he glimpses my back. My eyes shoot up to the mirror on the bureau in front of me. Our eyes meet, and I almost buckle under the weight of his stare. I feel him trail his fingertips around the shape of the tear. I close my eyes and lose myself in his touch. It’s delicate yet torturous. He places feather light kisses where his fingers have traced until he is on his knees, licking and teasing my tender flesh on my lower back.

  He moves back to my neck and unties my little ribbon. I open my eyes to find his questioning mine in the mirror. I manage to give him a small smile. He uses his hands to push the silky gown down. Where it glides over my skin, I have goose bumps. I hope he can’t see them. I’ve never felt so exposed in my entire life. He seems to like what he sees as I watch him, watch me. My eyes immediately look at my rounded stomach and my wide hips. I suddenly feel self-conscious. I try to close my eyes, but he gently tells me to open them back up. His voice leaves no room for questioning. So I do. I watch his hands move to massage my breasts as he kisses my neck and my shoulders. I move my eyes back up to find his watching his hands, and I’ve never been more turned on in my life.

  He tilts my head back until his mouth finally moves back to mine, and he sears me with his kiss. When I’m so weak that I’m afraid I’m going to slide to the floor, I feel his arms snake under my knees to lift me and carry me to the bed. I turn effortlessly in his arms, and his lips never break from mine.

  As he lays me down on the bed, I run my hands over his gorgeous chest, and place my lips on his heart tattoo with my name on it. “Mine,” I whisper. “You’re all mine.”

  “Always have been,” he confirms. “Always will be.”

  I pull him in to seal his promise with a kiss. He moves down my body, kissing and teasing. I close my eyes tight when I feel him start to remove my underwear. When I feel his lips move over my own tattoo, I have the courage to look down at him. He gazes up at me with those piercing deep brown eyes and questions me, “Mmm…So I’m about to fulfill your ultimatum, Lorraina. When do I get my name right here?” His fingertips graze my beautiful roses.

  “As soon as humanly possible,” I tell him.

  I gasp as I feel his finger make its way down to enter me. His tongue demands entry at my mouth almost simultaneously, and I lose myself in our kiss. I feel the vibrations of his moans as he works my body for what seems like hours. When he finally deems me ready and I’m about to explode with the need of him, he enters me smoothly. He pulls his head back and locks his eyes with mine.

  “I love you, Lorraina,” he tells me.

  “I love you too, Michael.”

  ………………………………………..…….………..

  I lie on the bed, trailing my hands across his chest in a swirling little pattern, staring at my beautiful ring. It’s a gorgeous pearl. I never even knew I liked pearls until I saw this one. The band is made of silver or white gold. I’m not exactly sure. As the band sweeps up to join the pearl, it’s divided into three little rows of tiny diamonds. It’s simple. It’s exquisite. It’s him. It’s me. It’s perfect.

  We’ve been very quiet. I wonder for a moment if he’s asleep. I allow my brain to go back to our lovemaking. Mmm…I’m quite certain there’s not an inch of my body that he didn’t worship with some part of his own. I shiver again as I feel myself stirring with just the memory of it. I feel him chuckle beneath me.

  I lean up on my elbow and take him in. He’s beautiful. I tell him so. He chuckles again. I can’t stop smiling. “I’ve never experienced anything like that,” I confess.

  “Yeah. Me either,” he agrees.

  “I don’t really want to talk about our past experiences, but I have to say that I never knew sex could be like that.”

  “That’s because we didn’t have sex,” he tells me.

  I feel myself blushing. “Oh. Yeah, right, what I meant was I’ve never felt like that. So loved and so adored. And so…fulfilled. It was incredible.” I stop short of asking him if he thinks every time will be like that. He’ll think I’m an idiot.

  “Me either,” he says again. “I cared about the people I was with before, but it was just like it was something to do. I don’t know. With you, I just had to show you how much I love you and care about you. I had to make sure that you absorbed every touch, every emotion.”

  My mouth has gone dry listening to him describe our lovemaking. I suddenly want to do it all over again and test my theory about it being incredible every single time.

  My gaze goes back to my ring. “This is exquisite,” I tell him.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  “I love it. It’s unique. I’ve never seen anyone with a pearl engagement ring.”

  “I wanted something unique for us since our love is, ya know? Besides, I think you get the significance behind the pearl, right?”

  “Yeah, purity, change, dignity…Something beautiful shaped by chance and mud and determination.”

  He takes my hand and kisses my pearl. His other hand tucks my hair behind my ear. “Something perfect, flawless made that way through transformation.”

  ………………………………………………………..

  “Ms. Elise, this is Michael Bang. Michael, this is Ms. Elise Andrews.” I step back and let them shake hands. I’ve refused to let go of one of them so he has to make do.

  “Ms. Elise,” I hear Michael say, “Lorraina has told me so much about you and your business. I’m happy that she works for someone like you.” Oh, that’s so sweet, I think adoringly.

  “Oh, honey. I’m the lucky one. This one has been a stellar employee,” she tells him and winks at me. I thank her with my eyes since she omits the fact that I’ve been less than stellar lately. “Michael, Lorraina tells me that you’re quite the musician. Come see our music selection and tell me how we measure up here. I watch as they make their way to the back of the store while I try to switch gears and get into work mode.

  Later, as Ms. Elise leaves for the day, I hear Michael ask her permission to stay and study. He promises that he won’t distract me. He just doesn’t want to be too far away, he tells her. I smile to myself. I’ve watched them together for the last hour or so. I wonder if he knows she is putty in his capable hands. She assures him that it will be fine as we are a little slow because of the break.

  As she passes by me, she pats my hand and tells me what I need to do for that night and that I did well choosing Michael. “Honey, that is one sweet boy,” she tells me. “He loves you an awful lot.”

  “He told you that?” I gasp. I can’t believe he would just come out
with that. It seems so personal.

  “Oh, no, not in so many words,” she assures me. “But I know he does. Be careful with him. He’s very sensitive.”

  My eyes widen. “I will be,” I promise her. “I love him an awful lot, as well.”

  She pats my hand again. “Good night, honey.”

  “Night, Ms. Elise.”

  My eyes seek him out. His head is bent over his book. His hand rubs his neck. There’s no one in the store but us, so I head over his way. He smiles up at me as I approach him. I move to stand behind him and massage his neck. I can’t resist some small kisses on his neck as I rub. “I can’t study when you’re touching me,” he admonishes me. “Besides, I promised Ms. Elise we would be good.”

  “I know, I know,” I huff. “I just needed a minute.”

  I find myself suddenly sitting in his lap as he ravages me. I just as suddenly find myself standing upright as he tells me to get back to work. I frown at him over my shoulder as I return to not doing a whole lot of anything except thinking about him.

  We close up the store and decide to go for drinks and pool at a nearby pub before heading back to the hotel. I don’t have on my skirt anymore but these jeans are pretty tight, so I’m hoping for a repeat of last night and this morning and later this morning.

  We’ve been shooting pool for quite some time. Long enough for me to have a couple of drinks and for him to have a few beers before cutting himself off since he’s driving us. My drink is empty; and since it’s Michael’s shot, I make my way to the bar to get another. I’m leaning over the bar to yell my order to the bartender when I feel someone slap my ass. My mind immediately goes to Michael, but I dismiss that thought, knowing it’s not him. He would never do that, not in public anyway. My body freezes for a moment, considering how to best handle this.

  I spin around to defend myself from any more advances and realize I’m too late because Michael has already cornered the guy. Before I can gather my wits, he has his hand around his neck and is choking him.