Maintain the Mischief

by Tony Wilson

  ‘Free kick!’ Joel shouted. ‘Holding the man!’

  But Mr Marchingo wasn’t the most focused umpire. Mrs Marchingo had yelled out ‘pizza!’ as the ball was thrown up, and that’s where his attention was now.

  The Street kicked the next three goals. Fitzy and his brothers were excellent players, and the Hanns’ cousins were decent, too. Really though, the Selwoods were being beaten by sheer numbers. They were trying as hard as they could, sprinting from one end to the other, but they couldn’t be everywhere.

  Joel did wonder if Dad was putting in enough effort. His special move was hiding behind trees and popping out to tackle the opposition when they thought they were in the clear. ‘Boo!’ he’d laugh, as he tried to tackle. Dad thought he was hilarious.

  ‘Daaaaad!’ Joel groaned. ‘Stop hiding behind the trees. You’ve got to take this seriously. We want to win!’

  ‘C’mon, Joel, it’s okay,’ replied Dad. ‘This is all a bit of fun.’

  Mum was more switched on. She ran from one end of The Parkland to the other, screaming to receive the ball. She had good hands and wasn’t a bad kick. There was just one problem. Mum was so used to playing netball that she’d stop suddenly every time the boys passed to her.

  ‘Run, Mum, run!’ Joel hollered as she did her netball foot-anchor for about the fifth time.

  ‘Oh, that’s right, I keep forgetting.’ Mum laughed.

  Fitzy snatched the ball from her, and handballed to the eldest and biggest Hanns cousin for another goal.

  ‘Muuum!’ Scott whined. ‘We’re five goals down.’

  ‘Boys,’ Mum cautioned. ‘We’re all trying our best.’

  Losing to The Street might not have been so annoying if it wasn’t for Martin Hanns. For years, Martin had been Joel’s biggest rival. Now Martin continued to hold him unfairly. And he kept on offering unwanted advice as the Selwoods slipped further and further behind.

  ‘Maybe see if you can get your hands on the pill,’ Martin teased.

  Mr Fitzgerald juggled a mark in the hand that wasn’t holding his drink, and converted.

  ‘Looks like a black day for the great Selwood name,’ Martin mocked. The five-goal deficit had become six.

  ‘You’ve got eight extra players,’ Joel spat back. ‘It’s like you shipped in a batch of cousins just so you could finally beat us.’

  ‘That’s exactly what we did!’ Martin Hanns said. ‘Your mum laid down the challenge, so we put out an SOS for cousins!’

  That seemed unfair to Joel. They’d pumped up team numbers on purpose. Joel complained to Mum. ‘They put a call-out for cousins!’ Joel said. ‘That’s why we’re so outnumbered.’

  Mum checked her watch. She glanced up towards the street. ‘Two can play at that game.’ Mum grinned and pointed towards the footpath. ‘Ha! Crappers to the rescue!’

  Joel lifted his eyes and there they were. The setting sun was creating silhouettes of them. Leigh, Justin, Monique and Sophie walked together in a straight line, like heroes in an action movie. Uncle Mick and Aunty Marg were there, too. So was Sam McCaskill, another cousin on Mum’s side. With them, strangest of all, were two sheep.

  The twins started laughing. ‘They’ve got SEL sheep and CRAPP sheep!’ Adam clapped. ‘That is so awesome!’

  ‘Team mascots,’ Uncle Mick chuckled. ‘Not every team has its own sheep cheerleaders.’

  Aunty Marg rolled her eyes. Joel got the feeling Aunty Marg hadn’t wanted to bring the sheep.

  Martin Hanns wasn’t happy either. ‘This isn’t fair,’ he said. ‘You called them up after the game started. Your cousins weren’t even at your house! And they’re not even Selwoods!’

  Mum gave Sophie and Monique a hug and high fives to the rest of her family. ‘Cousins are in, Martin. They’re your rules. And yes, we’re Crappers, Martin, and we’re here to show you what Crappers can do!’

  Uncle Mick, Aunty Marg and the sheep joined the spectators. There were so many people watching now. Joel had never seen anything like it at The Parkland. There were deckchairs and banana lounges, and the Woods from number fifty-three had even fired up a gas barbecue!

  The cousins were wearing the Selwoods’ navy blue. They didn’t have the Big Vs on the front, but that couldn’t be helped.

  ‘Monique, you play down the back,’ Troy said. ‘Leigh, you can be our big target up forward. Justin and Sophie, you’re midfield.’

  At the next ball-up, when Martin tried to hold Joel, Justin said, ‘Hey, don’t do that!’ and applied his own bear hug to Martin.

  ‘Play on, play on!’ yelled Mr Marchingo, who hadn’t blown a single free kick for the whole game. Without Martin holding him, Joel was suddenly free. ‘Troy, Troy! Running past!’ Joel called. The ball snaked through half a dozen arms, and Joel was in the clear and within range. Wooof — it struck his boot sweetly, and the Selwoods were back within five goals. Seconds later, the ball was bobbing around the Selwood goal mouth and little Tommy O toe-poked it through.

  The grown-ups on the sidelines roared.

  ‘We’re on fire!’ Adam crowed.

  ‘Yeah, like the woodland at the back of the Marchingos!’ replied Fitzy.

  That shut Adam up.

  Scott was charging into packs like a crazy little ant. The crowd ‘ooooohed’ whenever he was smothered by bigger bodies. But he kept emerging intact, and kept diving in. One time, he stood up and there was blood smeared across one eye.

  ‘Scooter — you’re bleeding!’ Joel said.

  Scott just shrugged. ‘Yeah, it’s my scar from when I hit my head on the side of the pool. It’s nothing serious. I’ll get Dad to stick a bandaid on it.’

  Joel felt inspired by his little brother’s courage. He’d hate it if his face bled every time he collected a knock. Although Scott did look quite tough, Joel thought. Until Dad patched him up with a Wiggles bandaid. That looked less tough.

  With Scott out of the game for a few minutes, Sophie Crapper played out of her skin.

  ‘Go easy,’ Fitzy said, when Martin first tried to tackle her. ‘She’s a girl.’

  What they didn’t know was that Sophie played for St Liborius School, and was a nine-year-old jet. She kicked the goal to get the Selwoods within two, as well as the next goal. The Street weren’t taking it easy on her after that.

  ‘Magic,’ Joel said, giving his cousin a high five.

  ‘Thanks.’ Sophie grinned. ‘This is fun, like, the best fun! Just wish there was a women’s AFL comp to aim for.’

  Joel thought about how much he dreamed of playing AFL for the Cats. It was a shame Sophie couldn’t do the same. ‘There might be one day,’ Joel said. ‘I hope so. You’d make it.’

  The sun dipped below the horizon. Troy tapped the ball to Justin, who handballed to Joel, who handballed to Tommy O, who handballed back to Troy, who slammed through the goal for the Selwoods.

  The crowd on the sideline exploded in appreciation. To Joel it sounded like there were a thousand people there. The ball came back to the centre.

  ‘Next goal wins,’ said Mr Marchingo. ‘I’m smelling some lovely hamburgers over on that barbecue.’

  Joel fixed his eyes on the ball and imagined himself winning the next clearance. He did that during Sharks games, too. He’d shut out everything else, and focus on what had to happen. They were laughing and chatting on the sidelines. For the grown-ups, this was a fun thing Mum had organised. A social catch-up. A chance to have a bite to eat and a chat.

  For Joel though, this was a game of footy — Selwoods versus The Street — and Joel couldn’t help wanting to win games of footy. His cousins had driven down from Raywood, probably in a ute that still smelled of chicken poo. No doubt it was Leigh who drove, showing off that smooth gear changing. Joel wanted his cousins to drive home winners. They deserved it.

  Mr Marchingo stepped forward to toss up the ball. Martin Hanns grabbed for Joel’s arms, as he had all day, but Joel stepped quickly to the side and Martin was left pawing at air.

  Troy palmed the ball. Joel w
as already running, and claimed the ball with one outstretched hand, without breaking stride. The Street players came from everywhere. This was the make-or-break play. But Joel evaded one with a turn, one with a baulk, before handballing to Scott.

  ‘Have a shot, Scooter!’ Joel cried.

  Scott tried to, but Fitzy smothered the ball.

  It rebounded to Joel. He darted one way, then the other. The crowd screamed on the sidelines. To think he’d been so sad about missing footy today. So much had happened — little Jasmine, the wild ride to Dr O’Connor’s, Mum’s story about Adam, and now this street footy game that had become epic. Everyone was on their feet. Joel ducked under Mr Fitzgerald’s arm and charged towards goal.

  ‘Joel! Joel!’ screamed a voice.

  Joel sized up the goal, but the angle was too difficult. The team thing to do here was to centre the ball to the voice. He guided the ball onto his left boot and screwed it back to the face of goal.

  In the dim evening light, it wasn’t easy to see what happened next. Joel’s kick was perfect, set up right in front of the full forward who’d called for it. Then a silhouette rose, a shadow in the darkness. It climbed into the night sky as the crowd went bananas. Joel saw a shock of platinum-blonde hair. Was it Troy? Adam?

  ‘Marreeeeee!’ shrieked the crowd.

  It was Mum! Mum the netballer. Mum who ran the Behaviour Bank. Mum who’d organised the street game. Mum who’d called for the ball. Mum who’d stuck her right knee in Dad’s back, and climbed all over Dad and Mr Fitzgerald to take the mark of the year!

  Dad dusted himself off. ‘I’m on your team, Maree,’ he said, pretending to be hurt. Nobody had a bigger grin than Mum. She went back, and with her awkward kicking style, slammed the ball through for a goal.

  ‘The Selwoods win!’ Mr Marchingo said, blasting his aerosol horn. ‘The Selwoods win!’

  Joel and his brothers sprinted in to hug Mum. None of them could stop laughing, especially Mum.

  ‘That was ridiculous!’ Troy beamed. ‘I didn’t know you could jump like that!’

  ‘It was huge!’ Joel buzzed. ‘You were up there for ages!’

  ‘Berserk!’ gushed Scott. ‘You looked like Richo!’

  ‘Surely the best mark ever taken by a mum!’ Adam added.

  And then the Crappers charged in and Mum was flying again, this time on top of Leigh’s shoulders. But he was laughing so hard that he tumbled over. Crappers and Selwoods rushed in to catch Mum, only to end up in one big messy laughing heap.

  The neighbourhood applauded. Even players on The Street team were grinning. Somewhere on the sidelines, a sheep bleated.

  ‘Does footy get better than this?’ Joel grunted from underneath what felt like a dozen bodies. Then, without meaning to, he pictured a full MCG, and his beloved Cats, and the tiny possibility that one day he might . . .

  But he was jolted back to reality by a bear hug from Sophie.

  ‘Wooooohoooo!’ she shrieked into his ear. ‘What a game! How good is footy! How fun was that!’

  ‘So fun,’ Joel agreed. His smile was so big it almost hurt.

  He’d save his dreams for another day.

  ABOUT THE SELWOODS

  The Selwood brothers are four of the AFL’s favourite sons. Troy Selwood played for the Brisbane Lions from 2005 to 2010 and his twin brother, Adam Selwood, was a Premiership player for the West Coast Eagles. Joel Selwood is a three-time Premiership player, five-time All-Australian, four-time AFLPA Most Courageous Player and the current captain of the Geelong Cats. Youngest brother, Scott Selwood, was vice-captain of the West Coast Eagles and their 2012 Best and Fairest, before joining Joel at Geelong in 2016.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  TONY WILSON is a much-loved Australian children’s book author and one-time Hawthorn draftee. His books include Harry Highpants, The Princess and the Packet of Frozen Peas, Stuff Happens: Jack, Emo the Emu and The Cow Tripped Over the Moon, which was an Honour Book in the 2016 Children’s Book Council of Australia Awards. Tony lives in Melbourne.

  COPYRIGHT

  The ABC ‘Wave’ device is a trademark of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation and is used under licence by HarperCollinsPublishers Australia.

  First published in Australia in 2017

  by HarperCollinsChildren’sBooks

  a division of HarperCollinsPublishers Australia Pty Limited

  ABN 36 009 913 517

  harpercollins.com.au

  Text copyright © Tony Wilson and Troy, Adam, Joel and Scott Selwood 2017

  Illustrations copyright © Mike Jacobsen and Troy, Adam, Joel and Scott Selwood 2017

  The rights of Tony Wilson and Mike Jacobsen to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work have been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000.

  This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  HarperCollinsPublishers

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  195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007, USA

  ISBN: 978 0 7333 3548 8 (pbk.)

  EPub Edition © June 2017

  ISBN: 978 1 4607 0714 2

  National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:

  Wilson, Tony.

  Maintain the Mischief / Tony Wilson; illustrator, Mike Jacobsen.

  Wilson, Tony, 1972– Selwood boys; 4.

  For primary school age.

  Selwood, Troy — Juvenile fiction.

  Selwood, Adam — Juvenile fiction.

  Selwood, Joel — Juvenile fiction.

  Selwood, Scott — Juvenile fiction.

  Australian football — Juvenile fiction.

  Australian football players — Juvenile fiction.

  Biographical fiction.

  Jacobsen, Mike, illustrator.

  Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

  A823.4

  Cover design by Stephanie Spartels, Studio Spartels

  Internal design by Hazel Lam, HarperCollins Design Studio

  Cover and internal illustrations by Mike Jacobsen