by J. S. Scott
“Did you get sick of her, too? Is that why you dumped her?”
I let out a huge breath. “How did you know I dated her?”
Dane’s lips smiled, but his eyes were sad. “I might live on an island, but I do get the media. I made sure you and Britney were done before I allowed her to come to the island. I felt kind of bad picking up with a female my brother had broken up with, but it isn’t like I have a huge variety of women to choose from. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I said in a rush. “It wasn’t serious between us.”
He nodded. “I know.”
I shook my head at the irony that I was trying to protect Dane while he’d been sorry he’d dated a woman I’d been with in the past.
“I didn’t know you dated Britney.” Sebastian sounded pissed. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Maybe because I never catch you sober enough to mention it.” My tone was sarcastic and accusing. I regretted saying the words almost immediately, but I couldn’t take them back. In reality, I’d deliberately avoided telling Sebastian the truth.
I watched as Sebastian’s face went dark, and he took a large swig of his full drink. “At least I don’t have a stick up my ass the size of a giant redwood,” he mumbled bitterly. “I’m sorry that I’m not as perfect as you are, brother.”
I didn’t consider myself that uptight. “I’m not asking you to be perfect. I’m just asking you to try to be better. Stop partying all the time for a living.”
“I don’t need to make a living. I’m a billionaire. You took Dad’s place, so what do you expect me to do?”
“You went to college, Sebastian. I expect you to grow up.” I was angry now, sick of him criticizing me for something that I had to do.
“Why? I’ll never measure up to your expectations. Why try?”
“I don’t have expectations. I’m not Dad.”
I looked at Dane, but he didn’t look ready to jump into the conversation. In fact, he looked perfectly happy to let me fight this out with Sebastian.
“Then quit acting like Dad,” Sebastian answered bitterly.
My anger started to boil. “I can never be him. I never could. I fucking tried, but I could never be quite as smooth. I could never be quite as wise, and I sure as hell will never run Walker as well as he did.”
“You do amazingly well, Trace,” Dane said encouragingly, finally deciding to enter the conversation. “You were young when you took over the company.”
“I took it over because I had to. I was the only one old enough to do it. I thought I was the only one who wanted to do it.” I glared at Sebastian. “If you wanted to take on that responsibility, why in the hell didn’t you say something?”
“Why didn’t you ask?” he threw back at me angrily.
I exploded. “Do you think I fucking wanted this? Do you think I wanted to step into Dad’s shoes after he died? I was only twenty-one years old, and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I was stumbling in the dark, trying to finish school while I tried to do his job as the CEO of Walker. I. Wasn’t. Fucking. Ready.”
I didn’t think I’d ever say those words, much less to my brothers. But we were all grown up, and the time for distance between us had to end. We were all broken, and I wanted to see us back in one piece again.
“I’m not that much younger than you. I could have helped,” Sebastian broke the silence, his voice no longer angry.
“All I wanted was for you and Dane to have a chance to grieve, a chance to recover and lead a normal life.” I knew I was breathing hard, trying to get my emotions under control.
“Our life was never going to be normal again,” Dane answered gravely. “I guess we both thought you wanted your position as CEO and you wanted us out of the family business. I was relieved to tell you the truth. I didn’t want to be a businessman. It was never something I wanted.”
I knew that. I thought Sebastian wanted something else, too. I stared at my second oldest sibling thoughtfully as I asked, “And you? What did you want?”
“I wanted my brothers,” Sebastian answered hoarsely. “I wanted Dad back.”
“I wanted that, too. But so many people were depending on me that I knew I had to keep everything under control.”
“You thought you had to stay distant to keep yourself going?” Dane queried.
“Yes. I was on pretty shaky ground for a while, but I didn’t want anyone to know.” I’d been terrified, but I didn’t admit that. “I still miss Dad every single day,” I confessed.
“We all do,” Dane answered. “I think we just handle it differently. For a while, I felt guilty that I lived and he died.”
Sebastian and I both stared at Dane with astonished expressions. My baby brother had been through so damn much. It irked me that he was also dealing with guilt over being alive when our father was gone. “Don’t, Dane,” I requested.
My little brother held up a hand. “I got over that. But it took time. Unfortunately, I think Sebastian has some issues to settle.”
“I don’t—”
I interrupted Sebastian. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never asked what either one of you wanted. I assumed too much. I was overwhelmed.”
“Not an issue for me,” Dane answered, staring directly at Sebastian. “Like I said, I was grateful you took over.”
Sebastian set his drink on the table and let out a large sigh. “I wasn’t grateful. I was jealous. I wanted to be able to be like you, Trace. I wanted to help you, I wanted to be grown up enough to help.”
“Don’t wish for that,” I grunted. “It sucked.”
For years, I’d closed off every emotion I had just to keep control. Eva had been the only one to break through my veneer of calm assurance to see me for exactly who I was. I’d never grieved for my father, and I’d never gotten over everything I’d lost.
“You’re right, Trace. I do need to grow up,” Sebastian admitted as he leaned back against the couch.
“What do you want to do when you grow up?” I asked jokingly.
Sebastian grinned. “Maybe be second in command at Walker? I’m thinking maybe I could buy back in again.”
The last thing my brother would ever be is second at anything. “I’d only accept an equal partnership. You’d have to cough up the money to be a partner.”
Sebastian had studied engineering, and I’d always assumed he’d start his engineering firm. He had, after all, minored in business. Really, he’d make an incredible partner if he gave up the booze and partying.
“I could take some of the load off of you, Trace,” Sebastian said hesitantly. “I think I’d like that. I could head up some of the building projects.”
“I hate that part,” I told him with a frown.
Sebastian grinned. “Sounds like it might work.”
“I’m not moving the main offices back to Texas.” I’d worked for too long to get everything centered in Denver, and I liked it here.
“I’ll sell the property there and work here,” Sebastian compromised.
“It won’t be easy,” I warned, knowing it would be hard to sell the assets he had in Texas, including the family mansion back near Dallas that Sebastian currently owned and lived in—when he was actually home.
“I don’t need easy,” Sebastian rasped adamantly. “I just need a purpose.”
“You have one,” I answered quickly, knowing I wanted my brother with me again. I could see his determination, and I had no doubt he could clean up his act.
Sebastian nodded. “I think I do now.”
I looked at both of my brothers, wondering how I could ever have been so misdirected when it came to Sebastian. Had I done the same with Dane?
As though he could hear my thoughts, Dane remarked drily, “Don’t be thinking I’ll be moving here to Denver. I like my solitude.”
Okay. Maybe I’d been on target when it came to Dane.
“I’ll start working on selling everything off and moving right after the holidays,” Sebastian said eagerly.
&n
bsp; I had to grin at his enthusiasm, and my heart felt lighter than it had in years. “So you’re ready to dump your social life?”
I noticed Sebastian’s whiskey was sitting idle, and he wasn’t reaching for it eagerly. I hadn’t seen him take a break on drinking since he’d gotten here.
“It was getting boring,” he answered earnestly. “I’m thinking I might find myself a woman like Eva, settle down eventually.”
“Touch her and brother or not, I’ll kill you,” I growled, only partially serious.
Sebastian raised a hand in surrender. “She’s obviously in love with you. If she wasn’t so hung up on your ass, I’d probably try to lure her away. She makes incredible pasta.”
“She’s more than just a good cook,” I said irritably. “She’s my everything.”
I realized that I wasn’t acting anymore. Eva had come to mean so damn much to me in such a short time. Separating after the holidays were over wasn’t even an option anymore. I needed her, and I didn’t want to imagine what my life would be without her. I think I’d known from the very beginning that I was never going to let her go.
“That’s pretty intense,” Sebastian mumbled. “I don’t think I’ll ever meet a woman I can’t live without.”
“I didn’t think so either,” I confessed. “But sometimes there’s nothing that can stop you from feeling that way.”
Hell, I’d tried. I’d beaten up my punching bag until every muscle in my body was screaming, but it hadn’t flung Eva out of my soul.
“Better you than me,” Sebastian countered. “I don’t want to feel that way.”
“Me either,” Dane added. “How did you guys meet anyway?”
There was nothing I wanted more at that moment than to confess everything about Eva and me. But I couldn’t. We were still trying to put our relationship back together again, and I didn’t want to ruin the progress we’d made by telling them that I’d set everything up with Eva. Besides, like it or not, she was going to be mine.
“Long story,” I answered simply. “But she’s never had it easy, and she deserves to be happy.”
“I like her,” Sebastian said openly.
“Me, too,” Dane added.
I nodded, glad that they liked Eva because they’d be seeing her with me forever.
Convincing Eva to stay might not be easy, but I’d make her love me, and she’d never want to leave. It didn’t matter how hard I had to work to get her to stay. It would be worth it if I could just keep her forever.
What if she doesn’t want to stay? You had an agreement, and she can insist on you honoring it. She’s done her part.
Just the thought of Eva saying goodbye made me crazy. I decided not to think about failure, because it wasn’t an option.
She’d stay. She’d never leave. She’d be mine fucking forever.
Maybe she’d fight the inevitable, but somehow I’d make her see that we belonged together.
And, in the end, I’d win.
I wasn’t as cocky about Eva as I was about business. She was more than business to me now, and she probably had been since the moment she’d boldly walked into my office.
But I would win.
I had to in order to save my sanity now.
Chapter Sixteen
Eva
“I’ve hated my daughter since the day she was born, but she’s finally going to pay for keeping me away from all of the things I should have had. I was born rich, and I should have always been rich. It was my birthright. She’s going to jail to pay the price for taking everything away from me. I’m happy. She’ll finally be exactly where she should be—which is rotting in prison. It doesn’t matter that I committed the crime she’s going to be doing time for. So what if I stole the jewelry? It belonged to my mother. It was mine to steal. The important thing is that Eva pays, and I’m pretty sure she’ll be convicted. I’m getting back what I deserve by marrying a rich man. I shouldn’t have had to marry him to get what I’m entitled to have, but I’ll take what I can get now. I wonder if it’s wrong to hope that my dead husband’s brat dies while she’s in prison. I don’t think it is, and I hope she never gets out of there alive after they find her guilty.”
I slammed my mother’s journal closed, unable to read another word of her crazy ramblings. It had been her last entry in her journal, a passage written right before her death. I swiped at my tears, wishing I’d never opened the notebook. My heart clenched in my chest, and I let the pain of my mother’s betrayal wash over me, wishing the book had stayed out of my sight.
What had I been hoping for when I opened it to the last entry? That she’d confessed that she really loved me, and that she felt guilty for what she’d done? No possibility of that after what I’d read.
The book had been out on Trace’s bed when I’d come upstairs to wrap his gift. I could only assume the cleaning crew had found it under the bed and left it on top of the quilt.
Curiously, I’d opened it and read several passages, including the one I’d just stopped reading. It wasn’t like Nora hadn’t warned me, but I hadn’t been ready for the complete and utter evil that had been my mother, the bitter hatred she’d harbored for me all of those years.
“I’m surprised she let me live,” I muttered softly, my voice still tearful.
Why she hadn’t killed me when I was young I’d never understand. Did she draw the line at murder? Or had she known that she’d never get away with it? She’d certainly wished I was dead. But apparently she’d never had the guts to off me herself. It wasn’t out of any sense of mercy. That was clear from her journal entries. More than likely, she was afraid she’d end up in jail for murder.
She’s not worth my tears.
In my rational mind, I knew she’d been crazy and I wasn’t responsible for her feelings. But the child that still lived inside of me wondered why she could never love me. I’d twisted myself inside out to gain even a tiny crumb of affection from her. When I was a kid, I hadn’t understood why she hated me, and I thought it had been my fault. As an adult, I knew better, but for some reason, her hatred for me still hurt.
“It was interesting reading…that little book.” The female voice sounded from the doorway.
Britney.
I tried not to gag at her saccharine sweet tone. I knew underneath her gorgeous, blonde supermodel appearance, there was a heart of a viper.
I turned to see her staring at the book in my hand. “What?”
She glided into the room with a conniving smile on her face that I instantly wanted to bitch slap off her face.
I’d avoided being near her when I could, and ignored her nasty jabs at me when I had to be in her company. I like Trace’s brothers, and my heart bled for Dane. They might be together, but Britney didn’t deserve Dane. Yes, he was scarred, but he didn’t deserve another thorn in his side or a pain in the ass like this woman. She was as cold as Antarctica.
“Oh, I hope you don’t mind, but I went in search of something to read, and I found that little book in your hands. It was very interesting reading. I think people would be fascinated to learn that Trace Walker is marrying a criminal, and that his father had been duped into marrying a psycho. The whole family story would be a total turnoff, I think. After all, he’s marrying his stepsister.” Britney’s expression turned into an evil smile.
Bitch!
She deliberately snooped and found my mother’s journal. I hadn’t read it all, but apparently Britney had. “You stole my personal things?” I asked angrily.
I glared at her heavily made-up face, and the long blonde tresses that always looked perfect. Even when we were casually at home, she was dressed like she was going to a party. Today she was dressed in heels and a green mini dress that bared most of her thighs, even though it was probably below freezing outside.
Britney shrugged. “I was looking for reading material. I came across the information by coincidence. You have to admit that it won’t be a pretty story. Trace engaged to his criminal stepsister, and his dad fooled into marrying a woman
who was certifiable. Trace would have been so much better off with me,” Britney mused.
“He’d never be better off with a bitch like you,” I growled.
Britney let out a fake gasp. “The kitten’s claws are beginning to show. I guess you get rather violent after being in prison. Even you have to admit that it’s a little sick to be engaged to your stepsister.”
“We. Aren’t. Related.” I wasn’t about to explain my relationship with Trace. It was none of her business.
“Let’s just get down to business, shall we?” All traces of innocence were gone from Britney’s voice, and she was shedding her superficial snake skin. “Trace belongs with me. I can’t screw that freak of a brother of his anymore. I can’t even let him touch me. He’s hideous. I can’t even do it for his money. He makes my skin crawl.”
“You make my skin crawl,” I rasped, so angry that I could barely contain myself.
“You’re just jealous,” Britney rationalized. “I’m beautiful and you know it.”
You’re ugly on the inside where it counts.
I didn’t answer. I simply glared at her.
“Leave Trace to me, and I’ll never mention a single thing I read in the journal. Stay with him any longer and I’ll break the news tomorrow on Christmas day. Two choices. Which one will it be?” Britney held up two fingers mockingly.
I was seething with an anger I’d never felt before, even when my mother had betrayed me. “He won’t go back to you.”
I knew Trace had seen behind Britney’s weak façade.
“He will,” she said adamantly.
“You’re going to blackmail him, too? With what?”
“I can release Dane easily, or I can break his heart. Honestly, I don’t care which way it goes. I can tell him he’s a freak and I can’t ever let him lay a hand on me again.”
“Skank!” I spat out at her, wishing I had the ammunition to tell her to go fuck herself. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what to do.
Every detail of our lives would be dissected, and I couldn’t watch Trace go through that. The thing I didn’t want was to see his father dragged through the mud after his death. It would kill all of the Walker sons. We’d known this was going to end. It was just going to have to be wrapped up sooner than we’d planned.