by J. S. Scott
Britney eyes narrowed. “Decide,” she demanded.
“I’ll go. But know this…you’ll never get Trace back. He already knows you’re a whore, and he isn’t going to be with you again. Ever.”
“He loves his brothers. I was with him long enough to know his weaknesses.”
Just the fact that he she’d use his love for his brothers against Trace made me nauseous. “Get. Out.”
I didn’t want her in Trace’s bedroom ever again.
“I’ll expect you gone by morning. And leave the ring.” Britney looked at the vintage engagement ring. “He’ll be giving that to me. I always wanted a Christmas engagement.”
Over my dead body!
I wasn’t going to keep anything that belonged to Trace, but she sure as hell would never wear it.
My fury finally reached the surface so it wouldn’t be contained, and I walked over to Britney, lifted my hand, and bitch slapped her hard enough that her head turned to the side as I heard the satisfying crack of my hand connecting with her face.
“I said get out,” I repeated between gritted teeth.
“You hit me, you lowlife piece of crap,” she said furiously.
“Leave or I’ll do it again,” I threatened ominously, more than ready to break into a full-fledged cat fight. I was angry now, and I didn’t know what to do with the burning rage. Britney might be a lot taller than I was, but she was skinny and I doubted she had much fight.
Her hand to her swollen cheek, she warned, “Be gone in the morning.” Turning around, she flounced out the door.
Closing the door, I quickly locked it, knowing if I saw her again I might not be able to contain myself.
I flopped onto the bed, landing on my back. What in the hell was I going to do?
I have to leave.
All I really wanted was to talk to Trace, but I knew he’d tell me not to run away and he’d deal with the fallout. I couldn’t let that happen. He’d looked so happy with his brothers around. I didn’t want trouble because of my past, not when it affected Trace and his family.
The pain in my chest was excruciating as I thought of separating from him. Over the last several weeks, we’d grown closer and closer. I had no doubt that I was in love with him, and leaving him would leave a wound that would probably never heal.
I have to love him enough to let go.
And I did love him that much, and more. There had never been any real future for me and Trace. I needed to rip off the Band-Aid and deal with all of my pain so I could eventually move on.
I wouldn’t have the promised job, but now that my record was clear, I could get something else.
I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.
“Eva! The door is locked!” Trace’s voice sounded from the other side of the door.
I jumped up, trying to stamp down my panic at the thought of being without him.
I flipped the lock on the door, let him enter, then closed and locked the entrance again.
“Are you okay?”
Wanting to break down in tears as I saw the tender compassion in his eyes as he looked at me, I hugged him, trying to memorize his scent.
His arms wrapped around my waist immediately and he just held me. “Hey, something is wrong.”
“No.” I denied it. “I just missed you.”
“I think I’m glad,” he said devilishly.
“Everything okay with your brothers?”
“It’s good. I think Sebastian is moving to Denver to work with me.”
He sounded relieved…and happy. My heart lightened slightly. I knew he wanted to be close to his brothers again, and it was happening. Little by little, pretty soon the broken Walker family would be put together again. “You sound happy.”
“I am,” he replied, sliding a hand down my back to squeeze my jean-clad butt. “There’s only one more thing that I want this Christmas.”
“What?”
“You,” he answered huskily.
“You’ve already had me,” I teased. God, I had to keep this conversation light.
He pulled back and I was mesmerized by the light in his molten green eyes. “I want you forever, Eva.”
My heart skittered as I looked into his eyes. It was what I wanted, too, but it wasn’t going to happen. But I wanted him to know something. “Look, I have to say something, and I don’t want you to react, okay? I just have something I want you to know.”
He nodded, but his expression was confused.
I took a deep breath. “Somewhere along the way in this fake engagement, it became so much more than just an act. I care about you, Trace. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how it happened. I just know it’s true.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but I covered his lips with my fingers as I continued. “You don’t need to say anything. There are no expectations. I just wanted you to know, these have been the best weeks of my life.”
“Don’t act like you’re saying goodbye, Eva,” he said huskily, his eyes burning into mine.
He bent his head down and captured my lips before I could respond. His tongue penetrated my mouth with a determined purpose, and I opened to him. I needed him right now, had to be with him one last time.
“Fuck me,” I demanded urgently the moment he released my mouth.
“I plan on it,” he agreed, already stepping back to fumble with the zipper of my jeans.
Chapter Seventeen
Eva
We ripped and tore at each other’s clothing like we were going to die if we didn’t fuck in the next few seconds, and I can honestly say that was exactly how I felt. I was so hungry for Trace that I couldn’t breathe, and my heart was racing like an out of control freight train.
I yanked at the heavy fisherman’s sweater he was wearing as he knelt to shuck off my jeans and panties.
“Off,” I panted, making him lift his arms to let me relieve him of the garment as I impatiently kicked out of the denims and lingerie he’d lowered to my ankles.
He stood and made short work of my sweater and bra while I fumbled eagerly with the zipper of his pants. My hands were trembling so badly that Trace finally took over and got rid of his jeans and boxer briefs himself.
I moaned as he pinned my hands over my head on the wall, his eyes wild and feral as he stared down at me.
“Fuck, Eva. What in the hell have you done to me?” he growled.
I couldn’t answer. I just stared up at him as air sawed in and out of my lungs. Trace was raw right now, and he was breathtaking. My body was straining, vibrating with the need to have this man inside me.
“Please,” I pleaded, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Wrap your legs around my waist,” he demanded as he released his hold on my hands.
I hopped up and he caught my ass with both hands, squeezing my butt cheeks as he shifted until he was perfectly positioned.
My breath hitched, my body greedy as I felt his massive cock slide inside my damp folds and along my clit. I started to drown in sensation as my pebbled nipples abraded along the hard muscles of his chest.
I could forget my own name when I was entwined with Trace like this; the feel and the masculine scent of him was enough to make me lose myself entirely.
“Hold on to me.” His voice was commanding, but also raw and needy.
Like I was capable of doing anything else but hold him? He was the center of my universe right now.
I tightened my legs around his hips, urging him to fuck me.
Trace didn’t disappoint me, his forward surge pinning me tightly to the wall as he thrust inside my sheath. “Oh, God. Yes,” I screamed, wondering if I’d ever felt anything as good as his body connected to mine.
Spearing my hands into his hair, I leaned into his chest and kissed him, thrusting my tongue into his mouth as he began a punishing rhythm, pistoning in and out of my channel with a force that left me helplessly moaning against his lips.
His assault on my senses was merciless as I finally broke from the embrace to breath
e, and his mouth started to devour every bare inch of skin he could reach. Trace’s tongue trailed a path from my ear to my shoulders, then back up again.
“You’re mine, Eva. You’ll always belong to me,” he said in a rough whisper.
Every nerve ending in my body fired as his low declaration vibrated against my ear. His fierce possessiveness made me burn even hotter, and I was desperate to climax. Every stroke of his cock rubbed his groin against my clit, and the brutal pace was driving me insane, and I could feel my orgasm starting.
His hand moved on my rear, allowing his finger to stroke along the crack of my ass and over the puckered opening of my anus. The sensation of the tip of his finger penetrating that forbidden opening fired a violent climax that seized my body like a small object being sucked into the path of a tornado.
“Trace,” I screamed as he continued to pummel into me. My back arched and my head connected with the wall. I gripped his shoulders, my nails biting into the skin of his upper back.
“Fuck, yeah. Claim me, Eva. Mark the shit out of me because I sure as hell know I’m already yours.” He groaned as he pinned me against the wall one last time, entering me hard so his cock buried itself to the root inside me.
I bucked in his arms in the throes of my climax, my short nails still embedded in his skin. Some animalistic urge that was roaring inside me did want to make him mine in any way I could, especially after he’d declared himself to me.
As my body started to relax, I let go of my vise-like hold on his shoulders and wrapped my arms around him with a sob that was part relief and part sorrow as he finished spilling his warm release deep inside my womb.
My body was satiated, but my heart was shattering. How could I leave this man, this wonderful male who now owned a part of my soul?
He carried me to the bed and gently laid me down after lifting the covers. I slid over and he lowered his body between the sheets. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he tenderly folded me into his arms.
“Nothing,” I lied, knowing he’d probably heard my brief, involuntary sound of sadness. “I think I was…overwhelmed.” Well, that was the truth.
“I want to make you happy, Eva.”
Trace made me ecstatic, which was why it was going to be so damn hard to pull myself away from him. “You do.”
Neither one of us said a word and we laid with our bodies entangled, my head on his chest while I listened to the rapid, strong beat of his heart, wishing that there was any way I could stay with him. Unfortunately, I never found a solution, and I knew these moments were precious because they’d have to sustain me for a lifetime.
*****
Several hours later, I was dressed again, watching Trace sleep with my back propped against the headboard.
I had packed a small bag with only things I desperately needed, like a few changes of clothes and some personal items.
I’d left his mother’s ring next to his wallet and watch on the nightstand, somewhere I knew that he would find it almost immediately after he woke.
I wasn’t sure how he’d explain my absence to Sebastian and Dane, but he’d think of something. The important part was that Trace’s name wasn’t dragged through the mud, nor was his father’s.
Knowing Trace was a fairly sound sleeper, I let my hand lightly stroke his hair. “I have to go,” I whispered to a sleeping Trace. “I don’t want to, but I can’t destroy your life by staying.”
I sighed, knowing I had to get off the bed and force myself to go, but I was stealing every moment possible.
“I love you,” I said in a low voice, tears streaming down my cheeks unchecked. “I’m sorry I never told you, but it would have been awkward and complicated, and I know you’d hate that.”
In the distance, I could hear one of Trace’s fancy clocks chiming the midnight hour, and I knew it was time to go.
“Merry Christmas, Trace,” I murmured shakily as I palmed his cheek gently and then pulled my hand away.
I didn’t look back as I rose and hefted the light tote bag onto my shoulder and snatched up the jacket I’d set beside it. My tears were flowing like a river, blurring my vision to the point that I could barely see the door as I reached it and fumbled for the handle.
I’d just turned the knob when a very strong, very large arm snaked around my waist and Trace’s voice boomed loud enough to wake every soul in the house. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing!”
“Trace, I have to go.” I struggled, but my strength was no match for the furious male who had yanked my body against his.
“Bullshit. You aren’t going anywhere. You fucking love me. I heard you say it,” he rasped loudly.
I dropped the bag and the jacket I was holding as he lifted me up, strode over to the bed, and dropped me unceremoniously onto the sheets. I started to roll over and out of bed, but he quickly straddled my body and pinned my hands beside my head.
“Explain,” he said in a clipped, angry voice.
I looked up at him, my cheeks still streaked with wetness from my tears. He was enraged, but I wasn’t afraid of him. Even though his eyes were stormy and his nostrils flaring with anger, he wouldn’t hurt me. “I can’t explain.”
“You damn well can explain, and you will.”
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“Tell me, Eva. If you have a good reason, I’ll let you go.”
My mind was racing with thoughts. “You promise?”
He nodded sharply one time.
Maybe telling him the truth was the only way he was going to let me leave. And I did have to go.
I took a deep breath and started to speak. “Britney knows everything. She stole my mother’s diary. I think she read more of it than I have. If I don’t go, she’ll publicize everything, and she’ll tell Dane that she only slept with him to get to you. She’ll hurt him.”
He looked confused. “That’s it? That’s a terrible reason. You aren’t going anywhere.”
“It’s enough. She’ll destroy your father’s reputation, and yours. And she’ll hurt Dane badly.” I yanked at my confined wrists irritably and glared at him.
“Honestly, sweetheart…no, it isn’t enough. I fucking love you, Eva. Do you think I give a damn what Britney does?”
He loves me? “You obviously heard me talking, so you know that I love you, too. I can’t let her destroy you. She threatened to expose everything about your father getting duped into marrying my crazy mother.”
“My father is dead, Eva. And I don’t give a fuck what she says about me or you. But I doubt she’d even carry through on her threats. Dane already knows she’s using him. She isn’t going to break his heart.”
“He knows? He isn’t in love with her?” Admittedly, I’d never thought Dane acted smitten, but he was a quiet sort of man.
“No,” he answered flatly. “Now let’s talk about us.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I looked up at him, speechless. His eyes were still burning with intensity, and I didn’t see any signs that his anger was fading.
He continued when I didn’t speak, “If you leave, you’ll break me, Eva. I’ve never felt this way about any woman, but I don’t think I can ever put the pieces of me back together again if you go. I need you to stay with me. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together, but you can’t run away. I can’t handle that.”
My heart squeezed until I felt like it was going to burst. “Why me?” I asked softly.
He loves me? I still wasn’t able to wrap my head around that statement, and I didn’t get why he’d want me. Oh, I knew he cared, but he loved me to the point where I was his weakness, a woman he desperately needed. Me?
“Why not you?” he asked in a calmer voice.
“I’m a mixed-race nobody, Trace. A woman who was in prison for most of her adult life—”
“Because your mother was a lunatic,” he finished. “You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. I think I knew from the moment you admitted that you didn’t know Chloe that I was doomed. I just di
dn’t want to admit it, so I convinced myself I just needed to fuck you. But it’s not true. Hell, I do need that, but I need more than that. I need everything from you.”
He sounded disgruntled, and I had to smile. “Do you think you can let me up?”
His grip on my wrists became gentler, and he finally pulled me into a sitting position as he grumbled, “I’ll release you, but I won’t let you go.”
He got a firm grip around my waist and tugged me between his legs.
I sighed as I felt the warmth of his body against my back. “I want to stay with you, but I’m afraid of what Britney will do. I didn’t want to go, Trace.”
“You’re not going, and I don’t give a flying fuck what Britney does. She’s out of here. I’ll apologize to Dane for losing him his fuck buddy, but I need you more than he needs her.”
I sat there for a moment, stunned. It had to be the first time in his life that Trace had thought about his own needs first, and I told him so.
“I have to this time,” he admitted. “I wouldn’t be worth a damn if you leave me.”
I kicked off my shoes and let them fall to the floor, then I turned, positioning myself on my knees and wrapped my arms around his bare shoulders. “I love you. I thought my heart was going to break,” I mumbled tearfully.
“I would have put it back together again, baby,” Trace said huskily as he nuzzled my ear. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
I clung to him as my tears fell again, landing on his bare skin as I hugged him to me. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for him, either. I was convinced that he really didn’t care if my past got out to the public. “It will get ugly if she talks,” I warned, my fear still present even though I was completely convinced that he loved me. I really didn’t want my past to cause him any pain in the future. It would kill me if he got hurt because of me.
“Don’t care,” Trace grunted. “The only thing that would hurt me is if you leave.”
I crumbled as he spoke his candid response, and I was grateful to whatever fate had brought this amazing man into my life, the only person who’d ever completely believed in me.