by Nikki Brown
“I feel what you are saying but just keep it in mind, you don’t have to do this alone.”
“I know girl, that man is just-” she stopped and sighed. “This conversation may take a while, want to get lunch?”
“You know I can eat.” Sutton smiled and placed her hand on her stomach and the two headed for the food court.
Icelynn prayed to herself that she didn’t see Salem and it was just her conscious, but she knew how he operated. When he sent that threat a while back, she knew that he would wait until he thought that she was settled and not worried to act on it. The only thing was, after being with him for so long she learned to never get comfortable.
Icelynn and Sutton grabbed their food and sat down at the table. Icelynn’s mind was everywhere but, on her food, as she pushed it around on her plate. She hated feeling this way, she’d been happy and even Isis seemed happy as of lately. They didn’t have to look over their shoulder or worry about when Salem was coming home.
When she left Chicago, she became free, now the thought of Salem being anywhere near her was taking that all away from her. Sighing, Icelynn looked up when Sutton touched her hand. She knew that Sutton wasn’t going to let it go so she placed her fork down and began to tell Sutton everything about the storm that she created for herself.
“When I was seventeen years old, I met Salem. He was at my high school graduation.” Sutton furrowed her eyebrows and Icelynn chortled. “I know girl that should have been a red flag in itself, but he told me that he was there to see his cousin and I believed him. When he saw me, he told me that I was the prettiest thing that he had ever seen and he would love to get to know me.”
“I thought you said he was like ten years older than you?” Sutton asked taking a bite of her food. She had talked to Sutton about the surface of her relationship before, but she had never gone into detail.
“He is, he was twenty-seven when we met. My mother was totally against it. She forbade me to see him. She said it was something wrong with a grown ass man wanting to get to know a teenage girl. I damn sure wished I would have listened to her.” She wiped the lone tear that fell from her eye. “I did what any teenager would do, I snuck around with him. That fall I started at the University of Chicago and that’s when we really started to get hot and heavy. He would come and see me on campus and send me money. He was so sweet and attentive, he really made me feel like he loved me.”
“When I turned eighteen that December, he bought me my first car and got us a place together that was near the school. My mother had a fit when she found out I moved off campus, but I loved him, so I didn’t take heed to all of her warnings. I just thought she wanted to run my life.”
“Girl we’ve all been there.” Sutton smiled thinking about her mother, she could feel herself getting sad, so she shook her head and gave Icelynn her undivided attention.
“Girlllll, but a few months later I found out I was pregnant. I was so in love with Salem at that point that I thought that having a baby by him would solidify our relationship. I thought that it would make everything better for us.” Icelynn sat back in the chair. “When I told him, he told me to get rid of her but I couldn’t. So, I dropped out of school and went back home to live with my mother. I just knew I was going to get a lecture, but instead she told me that it was okay and that we would raise the baby together.”
Isabell, Icelynn’s mother had always been her rock. Being a single mother wasn’t easy but Isabell never complained. She knew what she had to do to make things happen and she did it with a smile on her face. Icelynn didn’t know her dad, her mom told her when she was old enough to understand that she was the product of a rape. Even though Icelynn felt bad for her mother, Isabell never blamed Icelynn. She knew that it wasn’t her fault. She looked at her daughter as a blessing and treated her as such.
“About half way into the pregnancy, Salem came to my mother’s house and begged for my forgiveness and told my mother that he would do whatever he had to do to make it up to us. My mother begged me to stay with her but I was in love and I wanted my family. Girl he got me in that house and everything changed.”
“Oh hell.”
“Yeah, a little while after I had Isis, things got dark. I found out that he wasn’t the man I thought he was. He was a got damn pimp and I didn’t even know it, but then again, I didn’t try and find out. He had me blind to anything he had going on because he had painted a picture of what he knew I wanted, he was good like that.” She ran her hands through her long platinum blonde hair. “I tried to leave with my baby once and he hung my baby over the balcony of our two story house he bought for us. Told me that if I left him that he would kill my daughter and my mother. That was the scariest shit that I ever had to go through.”
“I bet.”
“So, I stayed, the next day he brought me gifts and another car, told me how sorry he was and it would never happen again. Like a dumb ass I believed him, but the fights got worse after that, and the disrespect was unmatched.”
“So, did he stop pimping?”
“Child no, the nigga got so good with manipulating me that he moved a few of his hoes into the house with me and my daughter. Like we were living in there like some sister wives. Anytime he would get mad at them he would take it out on me. I can’t count how many times I got my ass beat because one of his hoes didn’t know how to act.”
“How did you get out?”
“One day, I cooked dinner for me and Isis. By this time, she was four and we were about to eat but one of his bitches came in there and threw my food away because I didn’t cook enough for all of them.”
“Unnnhnn,” Sutton hummed stuffing her mouth with the last bit of her Japanese food.
“I got so mad that I beat her ass with the casserole dish that I cooked the pasta in.” Icelynn chuckled angrily as the flashback crossed her mind. “Unfortunately for me that was his biggest money maker.”
Icelynn tried so hard to keep the tears at bay but just thinking about the things that she had been through she couldn’t even pretend to be okay. She had to remind herself to call Dr. Reems, she was definitely gone need a session.
“What did he do?”
“Because she couldn’t go out and make him money, he called a few of her regulars to the house and held me down why they raped me.” Her lips quivered as she tried to hold in the sobs that were fighting to escape her lips. She had no plans on talking about this but the thought of seeing him had her spooked and she felt the need to explain why. “I screamed, I yelled and he just laughed and laughed. It wasn’t until I said that was going to the police that he stopped them and told them all to leave. I cried on the floor as he collected his money and walked them out. I just knew that my night of torture was over until he came back in the room and began to beat me like I was a man. My body was sore and I was physically hurt but I was done taking his shit. I got up and I fought him back. We were going at it for a good five minutes until he got the upper hand and banged my head against the wall. He kicked me over and over again until I blacked out.”
“Oh my god girl, where was Isis?” She cupped her head in her hands and began to wail. Sutton looked around and thought that maybe the mall wasn’t the best place for them to be talking about this.
“My baby watched all of that.” She shook the thoughts of seeing Isis watch her while all of those men did that to her. That was the most degrading thing she had ever been through. All of the things that he put her through, none of that amounted to that moment. “I had taught Isis to dial 911 when she was two years old, so I guess after he left, she called and they came and got me. When I got to the hospital, I told them everything and they arrested him.”
Icelynn wrapped her hands behind her head and released soft wails into the table. She hated thinking about any of that. Her therapy sessions were working to the point that she could live without being jumpy.
AD was walking through the mall headed to find Icelynn a birthday gift because her birthday was coming up. He wanted to do something
nice for her, he had just left the jewelry store when he saw her and Sutton sitting at the table talking.
Just seeing her brightened his day, he wanted to be near her and feel her in his presence but the minute he saw the look on the girls’ faces he knew that whatever was going on wasn’t good. That instantly pissed him off and put him on the defense. When he got close enough to hear the conversation he stopped in his tracks.
Every muscle in his body trembled with anger as he thought about killing the man who she spoke about, a man that he didn’t know. At that point he didn’t care, all he could see was someone hurting her and Isis.
Icelynn was someone who he wanted in his life and she had made her way into his heart so if someone was hurting her, they were indirectly affecting his heart and that he didn’t tolerate.
The minute his hands were on her she knew who it was, what she didn’t know was what all he heard. She had plans on telling him about her past sooner or later. She just felt like he had too much on his plate right now to take on anything else. So, she held it to herself.
“Why didn’t you tell me Ice?” he whispered in to her ear. Her shoulders shivered at the warmth of his breath and the smell of the sweet minty flavored gum cleared the tension that surrounded her.
“You had too much going on, you have enough on your plate. I couldn’t do that to you.”
“You asked me to let you be there for me, right?” She nodded her head. “Well let me do the same.” He kissed her cheek and then looked down into her eyes.
“Awwww,” Sutton butted in.
“Chill out Sut.” AD smirked at her, the air around him was a little lighter. It was still some shit with him but you could tell he was more settled within himself.
“Well I’m gonna let y’all talk, Icelynn call me and we’ll get back up. We really can’t do anything without Key anyway and I have an appointment.” She grabbed her tray and threw it in the trash can behind her. “AD you got my girl?”
“You know it sis. Tell my brother we’ll be by later today.”
“Sounds good, I’ll cook something.” Sutton threw her purse on her shoulder.
“Dang you just done moved in, ain’t you”” AD joked with her.
“You sure do talk a lot now.” Sutton rolled her eyes and AD chuckled.
“You got that.” He nodded his head and pulled up a chair beside Icelynn.
Sutton took one more look at them and smiled. They both had been through some shit and they needed each other. They were good for each other; she just hoped the baggage that the other came with wasn’t too heavy.
Heading down the escalator, Sutton looked over into Victoria Secrets. She had planned on grabbing the new fragrance they had come out with and maybe purchase a few pieces for Kahleno. They had a doctor’s appointment in a few hours and she was happy. She was gonna get to see the baby for the first time with Kahleno and Kahlil. He wasn’t trying to miss anything.
Glancing around as she came down the escalator, something caught her eye that made her laugh. Pulling out her phone she went straight to the camera and snapped a few pictures. If this wasn’t Karma then Sutton didn’t know what it was.
There stood the man that Piper thought was the do all, say all wrapped up with Sunny, her new best friend. She was holding up a see-through red nighty and he was standing behind her, pelvis to ass, with his hands wrapped around her waist.
If Sutton wanted to be a bitch, she could have easily let the situation ride and let Piper find out on her own, but she just wasn’t that kind of person. Even though her and Piper were beefing she still had love for her and she would never want to see her hurt even though she didn’t give a damn about her.
Sutton closed her phone and walked into the store right by them. Sunny didn’t miss the smirk that she had on her face. She wanted to smack it off, but again she knew what Sutton was capable of, instead she just rolled her eyes and went back to browsing.
Saque on the other hand backed away from Sunny a few inches and started picking up things of his own and showing them to her like she was shopping for Piper. The last thing he needed was her saying anything to Piper about seeing them in the lingerie store, hugged up together.
Saque had come to the mall to buy a pair of shoes for the hair show, he was a participating barber in the show, so he wanted the new J’s that had just hit the shelves. As he was walking out, he saw Sunny in line, they got to talking and flirting like they normally do and he ended up buying the shoes she had picked out for her kids.
After that she told him that he should go to Victoria Secrets with her and help her pick out something sexy and if he played his cards right that he may just get to see it on her. She didn’t even care about the fact that she was pregnant with someone else’s baby, and evidently neither did he. All she wanted was a man that was going to take care of her and her kids and Saque had the means to do so.
What Sunny wasn’t banking on was seeing Sutton or anyone that would possibly blow up her spot before she had a chance to lock him down. She didn’t want to risk losing her job again, just in case he ended up being like Trouble or if he somehow ended up choosing to stay with Piper. Sunny highly doubted it, but it was a possibility.
“Fuck man. She gone go run her mouth. I know she is,” Saque said pulling his phone out of his pocket.
“Nah I don’t think so; this is payback for her.”
“Payback?”
“Yeah, Piper knew that I was sleeping with Trouble while they were together and didn’t tell her, so by her seeing us and not telling Piper, that would be Karma in her eyes. I know how Sutton operates.”
“You don’t know a muthafucking thing about me bitch.” Sutton swung around the rack. “Pictures speak a thousand words. I told her you weren’t her got damn friend.”
“I don’t know what you think you saw but she was just helping me-”
“Shut the hell up you Malcom X reject, both of y’all foul. Knowing Piper though if you say the right thing you may be able to salvage what y’all got. You on the other hand, I hope she stops fucking with you. You better be glad I’m pregnant or I would whoop yo ass for her.” Sutton pointed at Sunny daring her to do something but she just stood there looking dumb. “If I were you Mr. Saque, I’d be starting damage control.”
Saque glared at Sutton as he made his way out of the store with is phone in his hand. Leaving Sunny there looking dumb. Sutton snarled her nose up at Sunny and headed out of the store. She had to get ready for her doctor’s appointment.
Heart Beats
“Are you excited Kahlil?” Sutton asked from beside him. They were in the doctor’s office about to go back and check on the baby. They wanted to know how far they were and let Kahleno see the baby for the first time.
Sutton got to experience that on the day that she had planned on having the abortion but she didn’t want to tell him that and drudge up old memories so she figured that it would be best that way. Just the thought that she was going to do something like that made her angry at herself.
“Yeah I can’t wait, I hope it’s a boy,” he beamed.
“We know.” Kahleno and Sutton said at the same time.
“How do you feel about the baby your mom is carrying?” Sutton asked him.
Ever since that little talk, they had in the shop, things have been a lot less tense and she appreciated that. She didn’t want to be beefing with Kahlil’s mother, it would just make it hard on her relationship with him and she didn’t want him to feel like he had to choose.
Kahleno grunted, he didn’t want to hear anything that had to do with Karson. She had done enough damage in his life and all he wanted was for her to move on and let him live his life with Sutton. He didn’t believe that whole new Karson, let’s get along for Kahlil bullshit. He told Sutton to be careful with that because he didn’t trust her.
“I’m happy about it, I don’t know about that nigga though.” Kahlil turned up his top lip as if he smelled something foul.
“What nigga?” That piqued Kahleno int
erest.
“She told me not to tell her business but he a cop.” Kahleno ran his tongue along his top row of teeth and then bit down on his back teeth. He tried taking slow deep breaths to calm himself but it wasn’t helping. “He knows you dad.”
“Oh, do he?”
“Yeah I heard him say he works for you.” Kahleno furrowed his brows. He looked at his son and the innocent look on his face was so pure that he didn’t even feel right questioning him any further about the situation.
“Sutton Chambers!” the nurse yelled out and the three of them went to the back. They took her weight and vital signs. The nurse came in to get blood and Kahlil looked at her like she had lost her mind.
“Don’t you know she gotta baby in there?” He pointed to Sutton’s stomach.
“Yes Sir, I do.” The nurse smiled. She was a cute little red head white girl. Kahlil stuck his head to the side to take a peek at her butt causing his dad to laugh and Sutton to suck her teeth.
“Well why you trying to hurt her then? I know that shit hurt.”
“Kahlil!” Sutton yelled and he looked at her and smirked and she glared at him.
“Sorry, I’m just not feeling this sh—stuff.” He looked from the nurse whose face had turned a light shade of red. She was trying her best not to laugh but the little boy was just so cute to her.
“It doesn’t hurt, look come sit on my lap and watch.” Sutton leaned down to keep him but Kahleno was on his feet and lifting him in to her lap. He had warned her about picking Kahlil up now that she was pregnant.
“Stop picking his big ass up Sutton, you gone fuck around and hurt yourself,” Kahleno warned again but it fell on death ears.
Kahlil and Sutton both looked down and watched as the nurse stuck the needle in Sutton’s arm and began to draw blood. After the third tube he furrowed his eyebrows.