by Arlene James
Valerie made a face. “I don’t want him to be late. I can hardly stand the anticipation now.”
“Him?” Gwyn echoed.
“We won’t know for a couple weeks,” Ian said patiently. “That’s when they do the sonogram.”
“It’s a boy,” Valerie insisted. “I know it is.”
“Then it must be a boy!” Gwyn exclaimed, hugging them both. After flashing a lightning-quick glance at Sam, who still just stood there in the doorway, she turned to Sierra with a raised eyebrow.
Sierra shook her head and whispered, “I don’t know yet.” She felt sick to her stomach, sick at heart, just sick.
“Well, this really does call for celebration,” Avis announced in that sultry voice of hers. “I propose a toast. Shall we adjourn to the punch bowl?”
“Absolutely,” Gwyn agreed, linking her arm with Sierra’s and bodily turning her toward the dining room. Avis hurried ahead. Val and Ian followed Gwyn, who was pulling Sierra along. Ellis glanced at Sam, slid his hands into his pockets and strolled after them.
Avis began passing out cups. Gwyn picked up two and pushed them both into Sierra’s hands with a slight jerk of her head toward the living room. Sierra sucked in air and steeled herself. She had to face Sam sooner or later, might as well be sooner. She wished to God that she hadn’t blurted it out like that. He shouldn’t have found out this way that he was going to be a father. She hadn’t intended that he find out at all unless, by some miracle, he declared his undying love in the next few weeks.
How she would have kept it from him was something she hadn’t worked out yet, but she’d been toying with the idea of whisking away with Tyree on a tour of Europe, or some such thing, then selling her share of the farm and simply not coming back. She really hadn’t thought it through yet. Her mind just wouldn’t seem to wrap around the problem. Now she had a whole new set of problems.
Oh, God, what had she done to her Sam? How could she make him understand what had happened?
The words I’m sorry were weighing on her tongue even as she turned back toward the living room, but when she looked to the doorway, it was empty. She moved on into the room, scanning it rapidly, before plunking the punch cups down onto a sofa table and rushing out into the entry.
No Sam.
She all but bounded up the stairs, punishing herself. Breathing hard, she ran from room to room, knowing even as she did so that Sam had gone.
Sam felt as if he’d been poleaxed.
He kept hearing, over and over again, Valerie Keene say that she was going to have a baby and Sierra laughingly exclaim, “Me, too!”
Whether conversation went on after that or not, he couldn’t have said. His ears felt dead to any words other than those. He watched everyone else embracing, laughing, talking, but it seemed unreal, like something playing across a movie screen, something apart from him.
“I’m going to have a baby!”
“Me, too!”
Everyone began walking away. He didn’t even think about following. It just didn’t seem a possibility, didn’t seem anything to do with him.
“I’m going to have a baby!”
“Me, too!”
He had to think about that, but not here. He couldn’t think here, so he turned around and walked out. He moved toward the fields out of pure habit, but when he saw his truck, he just got in it and started it up. He didn’t even realize that he was going back to his place until he found himself turning into his own driveway.
Stomping the brake, he brought the truck to a halt and shut off the engine. He sat there staring through the windshield at the small, weary frame house where he had grown up, and it occurred to him suddenly that it and forty bare acres were all he really had to show for all his hard work. Then he frowned.
No, that wasn’t true. He owned a quarter-million dollars’ worth of equipment, mostly paid for, and a partnership in a potentially lucrative business. He owned half of every plant in the ground back at the farm and all those still to be set out. He had half of two greenhouses, one not quite finished yet, and a bright, secure future—as secure as anyone’s, anyway. But that wasn’t all.
He had Kim and Keli. He had Tyree. He had a baby on the way. His chest swelled, and his head felt light. Leaning forward, he gripped the steering wheel hard, feeling it bite into his hands, and for a moment he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t reason. And then a whole thought sprang into his mind. He hoped it was a girl.
He heaved out a breath. He seemed to do pretty well with the female of the species. Another girl. Aw, God, a pretty little redhead with her mother’s smile and temper and his…heart. That little girl already had his heart. Although a boy wouldn’t be bad, either. He’d teach his son to be strong and hardworking and determined, but gentle and thoughtful, too. He saw freckles and a red head, a stubborn chin, an impish gleam in round eyes that shined with pride.
A dampening truth followed. He’d have to tell any child about his or her grandfather, what he’d done to their grandmother. But there was Frank, too. Sam thought of how Frank had snapped photos of Tyree at her birthday party, how he’d wanted to protect her, even from her own mom, if necessary. He might be overbearing, even high-handed, but he would be a good grandfather.
Finally Sam faced something that had hovered behind everything else. Sierra. How he felt about her, about her being pregnant, about learning of it for the first time by accident with a room full of people. He knew that he ought to be angry, and on some level he was. She should’ve told him as soon as she’d even suspected that she could be pregnant. Maybe she’d even gotten pregnant on purpose; he couldn’t absolutely rule out the possibility.
Yes, he had plenty of reason to be angry, but he couldn’t quite manage it. That little spark of indignation, of embarrassment, of misgiving lay buried beneath an overwhelming layer of inevitability and a warm, comfortable blanket of deep, abiding emotion.
They’d have to live at the farm, of course. No way this house could accommodate them all. Even Sierra’s house wouldn’t be the best fit, however. He imagined the girls would like to at least have adjoining bedrooms, and they needed a nursery. Couldn’t forget the nursery. They were going to have to do some remodeling, a little wall moving, door opening. The study could move downstairs. What did they need with both a den and a living room, anyway?
He was glad Sierra had built that big old house now, even if his pride did feel a little pricked that she would be providing their home. He was darn sure going to follow Ian’s advice about that prenuptial agreement. All in all, however, Sam was a man satisfied, if a little stunned, with the way his life was turning out.
He got of the truck and headed for the garage, where he picked up some empty boxes before going on into the house.
“Don’t worry. Take all the time you need,” Gwyn told her.
Sierra nodded, barely keeping the tears at bay, and rolled up the window of her car. She hadn’t needed to tell Gwyn or anyone else that she had neglected to inform her baby’s father that she was pregnant. No one had said a word about it, no one had remarked his sudden absence, but within a half hour they had all gone home, all but Gwyn and her two kids, who were even now entertaining the girls and cleaning up after the party. The girls, fortunately, were completely absorbed in going through and dividing up the birthday gifts, much too happily occupied to pay attention to anything going on with the adults.
Backing out of the garage, Sierra tried to think where to begin looking. She decided to check the fields first. An hour passed before she could be reasonably certain that Sam was not out on one of his beloved tractors turning up the soil somewhere. The sun had set, the gloom quickly morphing into a night too soft for all the sharp fear and regret knifing through it.
She turned her car toward his place, thinking that her only other reasonable option would be the Houstons. When she pulled into his yard some minutes later, she felt a great relief that she would not have to face his foster parents with the ugly truth. That relief did not lessen the dread with which s
he contemplated facing Sam himself.
Working up her courage required several moments, but she told herself that she deserved whatever condemnation Sam would deliver. What mattered most, however, was that Sam did not deserve what she had done to him and that she’d do everything in her power to make it right. Resolved, she got out of the car and walked to the house on trembling legs.
He answered her knock within moments. His face bland, his manner relaxed, he nodded as if he’d been expecting her and stepped aside. “Come in.”
She ducked her head, shoved her hands into the pockets of her corduroy jacket and entered the small, sparse living room. A cardboard box filled with framed photos rested on the seat of the couch. She glanced around the room, noting the bare spots on the wall.
“Not much to look at,” he commented lightly.
“It doesn’t matter. It never mattered.”
“I know, but it’s all the inheritance that my mother left my sisters and me, that and the horror of her death. I always wanted the twins to have more.”
“You’ve given them more, Sam.”
He nodded, seeming to accept that. “And there’s more to come,” he said. “I’m going to tear down this old house, and plant the ground with flowers. Don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”
Sierra looked around her once more, and her gaze went again to that box. She knew what he was planning, and she couldn’t let him do it. “You can’t move in with me, Sam.”
“No?” he said lightly. “Well, you and Tyree sure can’t move in here.”
Sweet Sam, she thought, fresh tears gathering in her eyes. True to form, he had already accepted his fate and faced his responsibilities. “No one’s moving anywhere, at least not right away.”
He brought his hands to his hips. “Want to explain that?”
She turned away from him, hugging herself. “Nothing to explain. I just don’t think it’s wise.”
“Wise?” he echoed. “When have we ever done what was wise? The wise thing would have been to keep our relationship strictly business, but we both know that was never even an option.”
She bowed her head. “I’m so sorry, Sam. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. This is all my fault.”
“Sierra,” he began, but she held up a hand to stop him, plunging on before she lost her nerve.
“I wish I could tell you that the baby was an accident, but I can’t. I realized after the first time that I could be pregnant, and I knew even then that you would never walk away from your responsibilities the way Dennis did and always will. I—I suggested the condoms, but I didn’t tell you why.” She took a deep breath and tried to control the quiver in her voice. “And then I just let it go. I told myself that it was too late anyway, that I had raised one child on my own and could do it again. I’m certainly better able to afford it. But that’s not why I did it, Sam.”
“I know that,” he said softly.
She covered her face with her hands so that he wouldn’t have to see the teardrops rolling down her cheeks. “I meant to trap you, Sam. Deep down, I wanted you so badly that I was willing to trap you.” She lifted her face to him, dashing away the tears, imploring him with her eyes. “But the joke’s on me, because I love you too much to do that to you.”
“I know that, too,” he said.
She felt a whisper of relief. “You do?”
He nodded and lifted both hands to her forearms. “I’ve known for a long time. It was obvious.”
The feel of his hands swept through her in a warm, bittersweet rush. She closed her eyes. “Then you must understand why I can’t let you settle for anything less than what I feel for you.”
“Yes.”
That single word felt like a knife in her heart. She tried to breathe around the pain and couldn’t quite manage. “Then you agree that our relationship has to end here and now.”
He dropped his hands and backed up. “What?”
“I’ll find someone to buy me out.”
“Like hell.”
Her eyes popped open. “O-okay. Uh, you can buy me out then. I should’ve realized you’d want to do that.”
“No one’s buying anyone out,” he stated flatly.
For a moment she thought he expected her to give him her share of the partnership, but then she realized that Sam would never do such a thing. If anything, he’d walk away and leave it with her. She shook her head. “No. I can’t let you abandon everything you’ve worked for.”
“Aban—” He broke off and stared at her. His hand came up, swept over his mouth, came to rest on his chin. “After all that’s happened, you think I would abandon everything I’ve worked so hard for?”
She blinked at him. “I guess I don’t understand what you want.”
“Obviously!” He reached for her, shook her slightly. “What do you think I’ve been doing, Sierra? Why do you think I’ve broken my back to prove that I’m your equal?”
“You’re more than my equal, Sam.”
He stared down at her, searching her face. “You really don’t get it, do you? I thought if it was obvious to me that it must be obvious to you. Don’t you know how much I love you?”
A great and powerful joy washed over her, rocking her slightly, but she dared not trust it. “You don’t have to say that.”
He closed his eyes and let his head drop. “Evidently I should have said it a long time ago. I guess I didn’t realize how important the words were.” He opened his eyes and looked at her imploringly. “I almost told you a couple times, but somehow I didn’t get it out. I can’t believe you didn’t know. I—I guess I was waiting for a perfect moment, and…every moment with you is perfect. I love you, honey. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”
This time the wave knocked her off her feet. She swayed, knees buckling, but he caught her and locked her tight against him.
“Sierra? Honey?” He hustled her toward the couch, half dragging, half carrying her. Plopping down, he pulled her onto his lap. “You okay?” His hand went to protectively to her belly.
She couldn’t answer him with anything more than a nod before the tears came again. He pulled her head down onto his shoulder.
“Aw, sweetheart, don’t cry.” He pressed his hand to her cheek, ducked his chin and began kissing her. “It’s okay.”
“You love me?” she squeaked, lifting her head.
He nodded, smoothing her hair, then cupped her face with his hands. “You’re the very center of my life, Sierra. You’re the linchpin. Because of you, I have everything I’ve ever wanted.” He dropped his hand to her belly again, massaging gently. “Or soon will.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “My only problem now is how to explain that to Tyree.”
Sierra laughed. “You’ll find a way. You always do.”
“So you’ll marry me then?”
She grasped the wrist of the hand that still cupped her cheek. “Oh, Sam. Are you sure?”
“I won’t take no for an answer. I mean it, Sierra. Baby or no baby.”
She wrapped her arms around him, bursting with happiness. “Is tomorrow soon enough?”
He put his head back and sighed, a sound deep with relief and satisfaction. She kissed him, pressing her mouth down on his. Shifting, he laid her back in his arms until the box he’d been packing blocked them. His tongue plunged into her mouth, urgent and possessive. Desire flamed, rose, raged. He slid an arm beneath her knees and stood, the other arm supporting her back. She marveled at his strength.
“Where are we going?”
He smiled. “To make a baby.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Little late, isn’t it?”
“We’ll make it retroactively.”
She thought she might burst with sheer joy. “Shouldn’t we be planning a wedding first?”
He nodded, carrying her through the kitchen and into the bedroom. “I’m thinking simple and quick.”
“Me, too.”
“Not tomorrow, though, sweetheart. I have to see the lawyer tomorrow. The minute he can get that
prenup drawn, we’ll do it.”
“No,” she said.
He stopped next to the bed. “No?”
“No prenup, absolutely not.”
He let her down, lowering her legs to the floor. “Sierra, you know how I feel about this.”
“I will not sign a prenuptial agreement.”
His eyebrows climbed, and he brought his hands to his hips. “Okay, never mind me, but what about Tyree? She needs to be protected. We need to set up a trust or—”
“No,” she interrupted firmly, folding her arms.
“You don’t want to protect your daughter’s financial future?”
“We have four children,” she said, holding up that many fingers.
“Almost,” he qualified. “So far.”
“And they will be treated equally. I mean it, Sam, no matter how many children we wind up with. What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine, and that means that what we have, now and in the future, will be split equally among our heirs, all of them.”
He stared at her for a moment, then a smile began to grow across his face. That smile grew into a chuckle, and that chuckle swelled into laughter that doubled him over at the waist, hands on his knees.
At first Sierra was pleased, but then she grew concerned. “Sam? Sam?”
He straightened suddenly and threw out his arms. “Okay. You’re right. You win. I had to get my pride out of the way to see it, but in the end I find that I have to bow to the superior wisdom of an older woman.”
Sierra gasped, but then she smiled. “I’m going to remind you of that every day for the rest of your life.”
He swept her into his arms and tumbled them both onto the bed. “I’m counting on it.” Rolling her onto her back, he straddled her and began crawling out of his shirt, grinning as wide as the room. “I love you, Sierra,” he said. “I love all my girls. I love this baby we’re making and the life we’re building and the farm we’re growing and every moment I’ve spent with you since I first met you.” He tossed the shirt and fell forward, bracing himself above her on his long, strong arms. “I love the way your hair curls and the way your eyes flash when your temper gets the better of you, and I love the way you catch your breath when I put myself inside you. I love the sex. Most of all, I love the way you love me.”