A Star Looks Down
Page 21
' Why, she wondered wearily, were they so sure that it was her fault,
and why had Alexander been so cruelly angry with her?
She pulled her hands away and said in a wooden little voice: "Dirk told
you--I've nothing to add to that.
I'm very sorry about your patient.
I hope you'll still be in time.
' She didn't look at either of them but went upstairs to her room,
feeling suddenly exhausted.
It seemed hours later when Mevrouw Thor becke knocked and came in.
She said at once: "Alexander left at once to go to Utrecht, but he
wants to talk to you.
He will be back tomorrow evening.
Beth, it is a great disappointment to me that this has happened.
The children.
.
.
you must understand.
.
.
I almost died of anxiety.
You have been so good with them too.
' She paused and Beth said in a matter-of-fact voice: "You would like
me to leave, wouldn't you?
I'll pack my things.
' "But you must stay to see Alexander.
' Mevrouw Thor becke gave her a sharp glance.
"I thought--you and he.
.
.
he will wish to see you.
' "I can't think of any reason why he should want to see me," said Beth
steadily.
"He knows what happened.
Dirk told him.
' If there was bitterness in her voice, her companion didn't notice
it.
"Then you will go in the morning?
You wish to fly, or will you go by boat.
You have money enough?
' "Yes, thank you, and I'll go by boat, there's one at midday from the
Hock, isn't there?
' Beth spoke at random, not caring how she went.
Mevrouw Thor becke went to the door.
"Very well, I will arrange for the car to take you to Rotterdam.
You will be able to manage from there?
' "Yes, thank you.
' They were both being so polite, thought Beth wildly.
"May I say goo dA STAR LOOKS DOWN 209 bye to the children?
I'll tell them I've been recalled to hospital.
' Mevrouw Thor becke nodded.
"I will see that some supper is sent up," she said as she went.
Beth had been in bed for hours when she remembered that neither of them
had thought any more about her supper.
The children were all in the schoolroom when Beth went along the next
morning to say good-bye, and obviously no one had told them that she
was going; they clamoured to know why she hadn't had her breakfast with
them, which gave her a good opportunity to tell them that she was
leaving.
She shook them by the hand in turn, explaining exactly why the hospital
wanted her back, and Marineka and Alberdina complicated matters by
crying bitterly at her news.
Even Hubert snivelled a little, so that she was forced to be so bright
and cheerful herself that she felt that her face would crack with the
effort of keeping a smile on it, but she managed, even when she said
good-bye to Dirk, standing a little apart from the others.
She was surprised when he clung to her hand.
"You're being sent away?
' he asked low voiced.
"It's because of yesterday, isn't it?
I told them.
.
I am a coward, for I did not speak the truth, Beth.
I remembered what my uncle said to me that day, when we climbed the
cliff, and I did not dare to tell.
' "What did he say, dear?
' asked Beth gently.
"If I am a good boy, then when my father returns I am to go with my
mother to meet him; there is to be a reception and much splendour, but
my uncle said that if I did anything foolish again, I would not go.
' He raised miserable eyes to hers.
Beth's stiff little smile became warm and kind.
"Don't worry.
Dirk, it doesn't matter, nothing matters any more.
' She sighed.
"Only promise me that you'll not do anything so foolish again, not when
your brother and sisters are with you.
You're the eldest son and when your father's away you have to take care
of them and your mother.
You'll be able to have all the adventure you want when you're grown
up.
' He was staring at her.
"You didn't sneak on me to Uncle Alexander that day, did you?
I thought you did because he knew all about it--how did he know that I
had been rude?
-and so I said that I wouldn't like you any more and that I would pay
you out.
Oh, Beth.
.
.
' Her smile widened.
"No, I didn't sneak, Dirk, and I expect your uncle guessed that bit
about you being rude--he's been a boy too, you know.
It's nice that we part friends, though.
' They shook hands again and with a final wave to them all she slipped
out of the room.
She could hear the little girls' wails as she hurried down to the hall,
where Mevrouw Thor becke was waiting, but Beth paused only as long as
was polite; her heart was frozen inside her and she couldn't think; she
had had her copybook blotted, even though she hadn't done it herself,
and there was nothing left to do but tear out the page.
The boat was full of cheerful holiday makers and it seemed a long time
before it docked at Harwich, but at least she had had the time to make
some plans; she would go back to St Elmer's, of course, back to the
Recovery Room and the busy rushing life between her work and the shabby
little flat, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to stay there.
William would be ready to move on soon, she would give up the flat when
he did and go somewhere right away Canada or New Zealand the other side
of the world; she couldn't get further away from Alexander than that.
She went through Customs hardly knowing that she had done so and
boarded the train, and because she hadn't slept the night before, she
slept at once, and didn't wake until the train crawled between the
blackened brick lined approach to Liverpool Street.
She tidied herself perfunctorily, not caring in the least how she
looked, her violet eyes enormous in her pinched white face, her hair
struggling from its confining pins.
She lugged her case on to the platform and stood, aimless, while the
passengers pushed and jostled past her.
She noticed none of them; she was thinking about Alexander again.
* * * Profess or van Zeust rounded off his lecture with his usual
brilliance, nodded briefly to his audience and left the lecture hall.
It was not yet twelve o'clock, but he had already done a teaching
round, been to see the patient he had operated upon the previous
evening and briefed his housemen, and now, after lunch, there would be
a heavy outpatients clinic.
But outside the lecture hall he stopped, asked his astonished registrar
if he would be good enough to take his afternoon's work for him, and
made for the entrance.
He had driven the Aston Martin that morning; he thanked heaven for that
now as he got into the car and
began the drive to Willemstad.
He drove at speed; the emergency case had forced him to leave without
seeing Beth the evening before, but nothing was going to stop him
seeing her now.
It was Dirk who saw him when he reached his house and came leaping
downstairs two at a time to meet him.
"Hullo," said the profess or.
"You'll break a leg if you come downstairs at that rate," and then at
the sight of his nephew's face: "What's wrong, boy?
' Dirk drew a deep breath.
"Mother said she couldn't telephone you because you would be busy and
couldn't be interrupted, but she must have, because you're here.
' His uncle eyed him thoughtfully.
"Your mother didn't telephone me.
Dirk.
I've come to see Beth.
' The boy gulped, holding back the tears in his eyes because his father
and this well-loved uncle had told him that boys often didn't cry.
"It's about Beth, Uncle Alexander.
She's-she's gone, and it's my fault.
' He looked apprehensively at the tall man before him and was reassured
by his calm.
"Gone, has she?
In that case let's go somewhere quiet and you shall tell me all about
it.
' Dirk hung back.
"You'll be angry.
' "Probably, but you'll take it like a man, I fancy, and you'll feel
better once it's off your chest.
' They crossed the hall together, the very large man and the small boy,
and went into the study, a room seldom entered by anyone when the
master of the house was absent.
The profess or seated himself on the edge of the desk between the
windows and said comfortably: "When you're ready, boy," and smiled.
He looked so placid that Dirk took heart.
"I took the boeier," he began.
"I wanted to make Beth frightened--I made the others go with me, and
when she found us and tried to stop me I wouldn't, so she came too.
We had already cast off and she had to swim in all her clothes.
' He paused to look at his uncle who was studying his shoes, his face
hidden, but
"Go on," he was encouraged with no sign of anger.
"What happened next?
' the profess or added casually.
"Can Beth swim?
' "Only just she's a girl, you see she flounders.
' He went on in a shamed little voice: "We laughed at her and she must
have been frightened." His uncle didn't reply, and something about his
silence made Dirk hurry on. "I never meant to go so far, but the wind
caught us and we couldn't turn back; we did try, but we almost
capsized. We got frightened then, and Beth was scared too, but she
didn't cry." "But you managed to steer some sort of course. Let us
see, Bruin esse wasn't, too far, was it, or couldn't you beach the
boat?" "We tried, ever so many times, but we couldn't get the engine
to do anything, and Beth doesn't know anything about sailing, so it was
a bit difficult. I did remember about Bruin esse, but the wind was too
strong, and besides, we couldn't see the land." "So?" "So I steered
and Beth found a chart of the engine and she got it to go. We were
almost at Brouwershaven by then, so we that is, Beth, sailed into the
harbour; she did something to the engine and it stopped and she got the
sails down too, but we did bump one or two yachts.
Will Papa be very angry?
' "Furious, I daresay, but I suggest that we don't tell him until he is
home again after his arrival at the airport.
' Nephew and uncle exchanged glances.
"And now I want to know why you allowed Beth to take the blame.
Dirk.
' The boy nodded, sucking in his breath.
"Yes, Uncle.
You see, I was afraid you would remember what you said would happen if
I did anything silly again, like climbing that cliff, and--and I
thought that Beth had sneaked on me and told you I'd been disobedient
and rude.
.
.
' The profess or inspected his nails.
"She didn't sneak; she asked me not to punish you.
It was a pretty low-down thing to do, wasn't it.
Dirk?
' "Yes--I'm sorry; I like her very much.
When she came to say good-bye she was nice.
I wanted to tell someone then, but she said I wasn't to--she said it
didn't matter--no, what she said was
"Nothing matters any more" , but when she'd gone I knew I'd have to
tell you and I asked Mama to telephone you.
Are you very angry.
Uncle Alexander?
How will you punish me?
' The profess or had got to his feet and put a hand on the boy's
shoulder.
"I'm not going to punish you, boy," he said quietly.
"You've had enough already, I fancy.
Your father must know, of course--later, as I said.
Just promise me that you won't risk anyone else's life again, nor your
own unless the circumstances call for it.
Word of a Dutchman.
' They shook hands solemnly and the profess or said: "It takes pluck to
own up.
I'm glad you did.
' He walked to the door.
"Now I must be off.
' "Where to.
Uncle?
' "Why, England, of course, to find Beth.
' His nephew smiled shakily.
"Oh, super!
' "Let us hope so," agreed the profess or.
"Any idea how she went?
' "I asked Mother.
From the Hock by the midday boat.
' His uncle grinned suddenly.
"That means about eight o'clock at Liverpool Street.
If I cut a few corners and go from Ca lais with the Hovercraft--tell
your mother where I've gone, and not a word about our little talk,
we'll deal with that later.
Tot ziens.
'1 The crowd had thinned now; people had found family or friends, and
those who had none had formed an orderly queue for the taxis.
Beth picked up her case and looked around her; she supposed that she
would have to go somewhere.
St Elmer's; but wouldn't it look a bit strange turning up unheralded at
half past eight in the evening?
She would go to the flat and hope that William wouldn't be there.
She started walking slowly along the platform and looked up to see the
profess or walking very fast towards her.
Her first thought was that fate had played a cruel trick on her.
He often came to London; it would have to be this very day and time,
and in all the city's vastness, they had to meet here.
She turned round and hurried, hampered dreadfully by the case, in the
opposite direction.
No use, of course.
She was caught, the case taken from her and dumped on the platform, and
she was twirled round, to be wrapped tenderly in Alexander's arms and
kissed.
It was like having every happiness there was in the world, rolled into
one and handed to her on a plate.
All the same, after an endless moment, she made herself say
"No," in a half-hearted way.
"Yes," said the profess or, 'my darling girl, yes.
People kiss on railway stations, hadn't you noticed?
' He k
issed her again, and Beth, who could think of nothing to say,
kissed him back and then coming a little to her senses, said fiercely:
"You didn't even ask me!
I couldn't stay another minute.