Chasing Caitlyn

by Marnie Cate

  You are almost out. Why are you staying for this? You already tarnished his reputation. What are you waiting for? Leave tonight.

  No, I need to see it through.

  Maybe Jeremy is right. Maybe I am bipolar?

  No. I’m not. I’ve just had enough. I’ve lived too many years with his games and deceit. Am I broken so badly I would sink to this level? The guilt was eating me alive.

  Jeremy texted different work contacts, talking about deals he had going on. He was testing the waters to see if Tad had said anything yet. He was so upset. The years of love I had for him came out and at the most inconvenient time.

  "What are you doing?" I asked. I took his phone out of his hands. "Come on, Jeremy. This is more than being mad Tad overreacted. Aren't you a little disappointed everything ended too quickly?”

  "I’m not in the mood for your games, Caitlyn."

  I kissed his neck and started the seduction I half-heartedly tried on Tad. This time I was into it.

  "The driver is right there, Caitlyn."

  "Let him watch." I pushed Jeremy down and unzipped his pants. No matter how mad Jeremy was at me, this wasn’t something he could resist. This was what made him tick. This part of him was his guide.

  I was not the kind of wife to dole out blow jobs. It wasn't in my nature. It truly disgusted me. I didn't like to give, and I didn't expect anything like that in return. I had no desire for that kind of intimacy with anyone, but I allowed myself to become that person.

  Tonight, I knew, I was in control. Not giving him time to achieve climax, I climbed on top of him and pretended that, once again, I was with someone else.

  Christopher flashed in my mind.

  This time, I was in control. As I ground on Jeremy, I grew angrier, and I took out my frustration on him. This was angry sex and I wanted him to hurt. Ripping his shirt open, I dragged my nails down his chest and bit his neck…hard.

  "Ow, babe," he cried, but didn't stop me.

  That only fueled me. The seduction of Tad had been my plan. I came up with the idea, but I ended up being the one humiliated and angry. Not by Tad's response, he had been honorable in the end and didn't want to share his wife. He felt shame and true guilt.

  Jeremy was eager for more. He had no qualms having sex with someone else. Most men would have protested, at least a little bit. Not my husband. He wanted to know when and where. And the sad thing was, if I offered it up a second time, I had no doubt he would do it again. Even after the fallout.

  I climaxed just as Jeremy was about to release. Instead of waiting for him to finish, I cruelly pulled off him. Taking matters into his own hands, he finished.

  After he shuddered, he yelled at me, “What are you trying to do, Caitlyn? Break my dick?"

  "Cramp," I lied.

  The driver met my eyes and I licked my lips seductively. He quickly looked back at the road and I smiled.

  "Damn it, you tore me up."

  "Cat scratches." I shrugged, looking at the deep bleeding wounds. I hope they scar. "They’ll heal. I’ll put something on them when we get home."

  Pretending to fall asleep, I rested my head on Jeremy's shoulder. Faking soft breathing, I waited for him to pull out his phone. As if it was in the script, he finally lived up to my expectations of him.

  Jeremy: Crazy bitch ruined the trip. Huge mess to clean up. See you tomorrow. Early. I don't need any drama. Be sexy and waiting.

  Ginger: I'll be ready, baby. Xoxo

  Any guilt I felt, died Jeremy would deal with the consequences of his choices, as I would deal with mine.

  By the time we arrived home, it was four in the morning. My fake sleep turned real. Jeremy woke me, and I silently followed him through the lobby. Like the walk of shame.

  Safe in our home, we undressed and climbed into bed. We slept on opposite sides. I didn't want to be with Jeremy anymore, but he had never given me space like this before. It hurt, even though I didn't want him.

  After lying in bed for the longest hour of silence I ever felt, the bed shifted as Jeremy got up and grabbed some clothes from his drawer. I didn't watch to see what else he grabbed. I knew where he was going. He probably had clothes at her condo. I didn't care. It was still dark outside when he left the penthouse.

  I closed my eyes and fell back asleep. The morning sun shining in woke me. I checked the clock. Ginger wouldn't be at the gym this morning, and I had more important needs. I quickly showered and dressed. I needed to see Thomas.

  Twenty-four

  Thomas greeted me with open arms and a cup of coffee. "Jacob just baked some muffins. Come sit and tell me what the urgency is."

  What is it with everyone baking muffins?

  Thomas was six-feet, two-inches and lean. My friend maintained his physical appearance almost as intensely as I did. He was the complete opposite of his husband, Jacob, who was five-foot-nine and dressed like he was a seventies hippie. So different, but no one who spent any time with them could argue that they weren't a perfect couple.

  While I told the men what happened over the weekend, they listened patiently for me to finish.

  "Caitlyn, I can't believe you did that. You vixen." Jacob laughed.

  "I know. I have no idea what came over me. Honestly, it was like a house of horror in his pants. I was afraid of what I was going to find.” I sighed. "Vicky got the better deal with Jeremy as a lover."

  "Good sex or not, you need out. And, I have a way to speed up your plans. What would you say to writing a book?"

  "I haven't written anything," I argued.

  "But, you can write and I have a unique opportunity waiting for you. Remember the wealthy old lady I told you about, the one who reached out to me because she wants someone to pen her memoirs of her salacious life? She wants to get credit for being the author, so I thought you would be her perfect ghost writer. The best part is, she wants you to come to her home and be her scribe," Thomas informed me.

  "Why me? You have other staff that have actually been published."

  "She asked for a female. Check. Someone who had a strong publishing career. Check. And someone who didn't have a husband and kids to distract her. Check. Check." Thomas dramatically checked his points off in the air.

  "What about…?" I began to argue why I was not qualified.

  "Stop. You're my best editor. I know you can finish the two manuscripts you have left and be ready to head off to Montana, the Big Sky Country," Thomas finished in a fake cowboy accent.

  "You know they don't speak like that in Montana. Your Texas accent is way off."

  "Caitlyn, Vivian Wolf is a character. She made her fortune as a burlesque dancer, a stage actress, and from her many marriages. She said she left each marriage by burying and inheriting, or by divorcing and collecting enormous cash settlements. She’s a delight. If I could write, I would be there in a hot minute." Thomas grinned.

  "It sounds like the perfect arrangement, Cat." Jacob buttered a muffin and handed it to me. "Picture it. You’ll live in a beautiful home in the mountains of Montana. Show her the pictures, honey."

  Thomas handed me his phone and I scanned through images. Vivian lived in a large dark wood house with brick accents. The green property, mountain backdrop, and the sparkling pond were tempting.

  Each photo had a grey-haired woman posing. Standing by a chestnut-colored horse, I guessed she was just over five feet tall. She looked like a force to be reckoned with, but there was something about her green eyes that made me trust her.

  When I handed the phone back to Thomas, he smiled. "Vivian wants her writer to come live with her and record her story before she’s taken from this world. You know you’re the perfect person to tell her story. This is your chance for a clean slate."

  "You’re right. Tell her I’ll come," I conceded. This is my chance to start over.

  "Can you be ready in one week?" Thomas took my hand and smiled.

  "I can. One week, twelve hours, three minutes. Then, I'll be free," I declared. "I guess I need to tell the lawyer I need him
to rush the paperwork."

  I changed into my ‘Justice’ wardrobe. This would be the last time performing as the best friend to my husband's mistress. I wasn't sure how our last encounter would end. I considered telling her who I was. Even as I entered the gym, I didn't know what my end game would be with Ginger.

  I found Ginger running on the treadmill. I did not receive the usual perky greeting. Something was wrong. Her eyes were dark and puffy.

  Stepping on the machine next to her, I said, "Hey, Ginger, how was the weekend?"

  "Fine."

  One-word response? That wasn’t like her. Reaching over the bar, I pushed the buttons to turn her machine to a slower pace. "Come on. Tell me what is up."

  Tears began to flow down her face. "It was horrible. He cancelled on me for a business trip and he took his wife. He ended up coming home early because she had a psychotic meltdown and embarrassed him in front of one of his very important contacts. You wouldn't believe what she did."

  "I wouldn't?" I asked. Goodie, there is a story. I wonder what I did.

  "She lured his business partner to a quiet corner in a nightclub where she forced herself on the poor man. Of course, he had no choice. Men's bodies react differently than ours. When she was caught, she jumped up on the table and stripped of all her clothes. She tried to get his business friend to have sex with her, right there and then.

  “Jeremy was mortified. He had to lead her out of the club half naked. When they were in the cab, she tried to climb over the seat to attack the cabbie. She clawed and scratched poor Jeremy. It was horrible for him. He is devastated. She ruined everything, and now, his business might be in trouble. He told me I might have to give up my condo and move to a cheaper apartment. I might even have to go back to work."

  "Oh, Ginger, that is horrible. He really should leave his wife."

  "He won't. He feels responsible. But, J, there’s something even worse I have to tell you." Ginger stopped the treadmill and reached in her bag. She pulled out a manila envelope. The same kind I had seen showing all of Jeremy's affairs. I held my breath.

  "Here, look, it's horrible," she cried.

  Some women truly are ugly criers.

  Sliding the photos out, I forced a gasp of surprise. Flipping through another set of pictures, I saw different woman, and this time, the pictures had a dominatrix. One picture even had two women in it.

  "See this?" she cried, holding up the photo of him being spanked with a whip. “See the newspaper on the floor? It was two weeks ago. That means he was with her recently."

  Sinking to the floor, she began to sob. "I don't know what I should do. I'd go back to Michigan, but I love Jeremy. I can't leave him. I’m the only good thing in his life. You know, one day, his wife might end up killing him."

  "I doubt it. Sometimes, angry sex gets out of control."

  "Oh, no, they weren't having sex."

  "Did she scratch his face?"

  "Well, no." Ginger paused, considering my implication.

  "Oh, honey, a cheat will always be a cheat. You really should get out of that relationship. You deserve better than him." I smoothed her hair off her face. I sincerely meant every word I spoke. "I don't have much money, but I have five thousand saved. I will give it to you if it helps you get a fresh start."

  "I couldn't take your money." Ginger wiped her tears. "Anyway, Jeremy will have to pay for his mistakes. In seven months, he’ll have no choice, but to support me."

  Stunned, I couldn't respond. Jeremy had gotten someone pregnant. My husband was going to be a father, and it was not my baby. An odd feeling of anger, relief, and pain filled me. In my wallet, I had two thousand dollars. Money I hadn't added to my stash.

  "Here. Do yourself a favor. Get on a plane far from here. Meet a nice man and raise your child with him. You don't want to be miserable for the rest of your life," I said, handing her the bills.

  "I can't take your money," she argued.

  "No, take it as a ‘thank you’. You reminded me what’s important." I hugged Ginger tighter than I thought I would. I really wished a better life for her than with Jeremy.

  When I left the gym that day, I hoped Ginger would take the money and run. A part of me knew she would stay and fight for Jeremy. I saw the text messages he had sent. I knew she would never leave him willingly. Maybe I could find a way to help persuade her?

  I shoved my costume in a bag. I would return it to Jacob. I would never go back to that gym. There was no need for more information. I had all I could handle, and more. I didn't need to see Ginger. It would only make me want to save her.

  Caitlyn: Thank you for sending the pics.

  Jack: What pics?

  Caitlyn: You know which ones. Thank you.

  Jack: She needed to know.

  Caitlyn: It doesn't matter anymore. She’s pregnant.

  Jack: Poor girl

  Caitlyn: I can't worry about her. I am leaving in 7 days.

  Jack: Where are you going?

  Caitlyn: Montana. I’m going to write a book. Don't worry. I'll still be able to edit for you.

  Jack: No one will be able to fill your spot. I will quit writing.

  Caitlyn: lol :) so hasty. I’ll let you know when I return. Maybe we can pick up where we left off on my Tour of Hollywood.

  Jack: I would like to see you again. Dinner and dancing. Sweet dreams, Caitlyn.

  It made me sad there was one man I wanted to spend time with and it was not my husband. Maybe, one day, the stars would align, and I would get the chance to explore my relationship with Jack. But, not this time. Maybe not ever.

  The day finally came. Every day for a week, I left the house with a gym bag or a dry-cleaning bag full of my clothes and valuables, and drove to San Diego in a rental car. If Jeremy looked in my closet, he would have known something was up.

  Thomas let me put my money in his safe. I trusted my friend to hold my money. I set twenty thousand aside in an envelope and asked Thomas to deliver it to my mom. I set another twenty thousand aside for Thomas and Jacob and told them it was their babysitting fee. Thomas argued that I needed to keep my money, but I insisted.

  "Bring me the rest when you come visit me."

  The next morning, Jeremy pulled me close and tried to rouse me to make love. I feigned sleep. While he showered, I made the best breakfast I had ever cooked. I knew I succeeded because he repeatedly commented on how good the meal was.

  Before he left for work, I didn't ask about his plans for the day. We didn't make idle chit chat. I just kissed him goodbye.

  As he left, he stopped and turned back to me. His hand still holding the knob, he sighed. "Sorry, I’ve been an ass. None of this was your fault. I let my other head get in the way. I’m not sure I'll be able to fix the mess I made with Carlson, but there are other contacts. Other investors. Can you forgive me?"

  "Of course, Jeremy," I lied. "I didn't really want to sleep with Tad. He’s so gross. I just wanted to make you happy. I haven't felt like I have been enough for you for many years."

  "You’re more than enough for me, babe. I have so much to make up to you." His eyes glistened with tears. "I love you, Caitlyn."

  As the door closed, I stared at it in shock. Once again, too little, too late. I was not falling for his words. It was just another instance of Jeremy playing with my emotions. I was going to start my new life. Sitting at the table, I knew I had one last loose end to tie up.

  Hello Ginger,

  We have not been formally introduced. You may know me as the crazy bitch you’ve heard so many wonderful things about. And, when you realize I have been your friend and confident for the last few months, I know you won't believe me when I tell you I am, in fact, quite sane. I promise you I have no violent episodes or rages. I have just been in a loveless marriage with a cheater for a very long time.

  Do you know what Jeremy does if you confront him about cheating? He throws you away. He cuts off all your money. He does this to control you.

  He set the stage for this punishment by insis
ting, early in the relationship, you don't need to have a job. He needs you to be there for him anytime he wants you. Do you know, even as a married woman with no prenuptial agreement, I had to live with my mother for two months until I was willing to apologize to him for his indiscretions?

  I never planned on being your friend when I dressed up as Justice. I just wanted to know the truth about my husband and the girl in the picture. I met a sweet woman who will be a mom soon. You and your child deserve better than Jeremy Whittaker.

  I know what I am giving you is not enough to set you up for the rest of your life, but I want you to take it. I can't force you to stay away from Jeremy and start again. However, I encourage you to have a life with someone who loves you and makes you feel proud of yourself. Not a life of Jeremy's domination and second thoughts.

  The pictures I sent you were just a taste of my dear husband's flings. You received three months’ worth. Imagine the album I could put together of all of his affairs.

  While you were wearing my dress, I was hosting a women's luncheon on domestic violence. How ironic is that? But those are memories that should be buried and forgotten. Looking back when I am old and grey, I don't want to think I stayed around to be treated like I was nothing.

  From your pregnancy, it is apparent Jeremy has become a little sloppy about practicing safe sex. As of today, I can confirm he has not passed on any STDs to me. Today. Let's hope that stays true.

  This letter has become a little more preachy than I hoped. I just wanted to send you a friendly warning. No, not a threat. Not a leave my husband alone. Because if you want him still, he's yours. But I would say that no amount of money is worth what Jeremy will put you through. Find someone who will share a dessert with you and not make you wish you had ordered one yourself.

  I wish you the best, Ginger. Really.

  ~ Caitlin Chase