CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Cruise
The July sun is beating down on the pavement as I make my drive around the streets that make up Laurel Springs. It’s been a boring day, for the most part, but I’m not stupid enough to think it’ll last. Lately it’s been slow and I’ve been feeling a lot like the other shoe might drop. This nagging feeling hasn’t let go for the last week, but I know eventually either that shoe will drop or I’ll get over it.
Rain came through over an hour ago, but it did nothing to cool the day down. It’s now a sauna outside. In certain parts there’s actually steam coming up off the road. Behind the sun that’s moved in, you can see more clouds behind. A dark hazy threat looming in the background, more storms are moving in. The stillness of the day threatens to break wide open when they do.
Because of the heat that’s been baking the ground and asphalt for days, most people are inside this afternoon, enjoying the air conditioning and not wanting to have heatstroke. Probably one of the reasons the radio has been quiet for the most part. As I make a turn onto the state highway, I hear dispatch come over the radio.
“Calvert County is requesting assistance. They initiated a traffic stop on a blue Tahoe. When they opened the back, it was full of moonshine. Be advised the suspect shot the officer who pulled him over, and they are traveling at a high rate of speed toward Laurel County. He should be entering in the next few minutes. The officer was pronounced dead on scene. Proceed with extreme caution.”
My ears perk up, because I’m the one who’s going to cut him off. I’m right where Laurel and Calvert counties intersect. Immediately I feel my adrenaline start to kick in. I grip the steering wheel so hard my knuckles are white. Controlling my breathing is easy, it’s something I’ve conditioned myself to do, but the pounding in my heart? It’s a rhythm that doesn’t slow as I hit the button and speak to dispatch on the other end of the line.
“Dispatch, I’m where the suspect will enter. Should I deploy spike strips?”
“Negative.” I hear Havoc’s voice come over the radio. “He’s moving too fast for you to get them out. With the road conditions it’s risky and he might hit you. He’ll be to you in the next two minutes. Take over the pursuit from Calvert County. Make sure that dashboard cam is on and activate that body cam, Cruise. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Doing as my boss has instructed me, I make sure everything is on and recording. My adrenaline pumps harder and I realize I had just been thinking about how boring this day was. Seems like business is about to pick up. I shoot up a little prayer that we all make it out of this as I get ready to take over.
I can hear the sirens before I can see them, but the Tahoe is a blur of blue as it passes in front of me. Like I was instructed to do, I pick up the pursuit. The Calvert County Deputies respectfully stop, and the police package is going through the gears as we pick up speed. Road conditions are hazardous, but I’m used to driving in them; I’ve been trained on how to handle any situation that presents itself to me. I have no doubt I can handle this one. “Heading east, toward the downtown district,” I give the other guys my position, knowing that on this day everyone is spread out around the county. However, they’ll all be making their way toward me, now that they know the chase has entered Laurel County.
“Caleb,” dispatch comes across. “Be careful, they’re trying to get to you. Havoc is closest, but according to GPS he’s still ten minutes away.”
I know this means I have to take care of whatever happens myself. This is what I’ve been training for since I started. I don’t need anyone to help take up the slack. If I can’t handle this, then this shouldn’t be my job.
Calmly I relay the directions in which we’re moving toward downtown, and I realize soon he’s going to be in front of The Café, and there’s construction going on down there. He’ll be pinned in, but he won’t realize it until he’s right up on it. I start motioning with my arm, but he doesn’t notice, and as we round the corner, there’s a sickening thud as he hits the concrete barrier, the front-end of the SUV taking the brunt of the impact. Because of the slick roads, he slid right into it. There’s smoke billowing from under the hood, the front crunched in a way that I wonder if the driver’s legs are broken. I can see the airbag has been deployed from where I am, but I can also see movement, and I don’t want him to get the drop on me. Taking cover behind my own driver’s door, I steel my nerves and put some authority in my voice.
* * *
“Get out of the car with your hands up!”
The driver’s side door is open, and all I want is for them to put their hands up and get out of the car. Or at least hold off until my backup can get here. I don’t have time to assess injuries, because I’m hesitant to move forward without the safety of the door protecting me.
“Driver!” I yell again. “Get out of the vehicle and put your hands up!”
There’s authority in my voice. I’m doing what I’m trained to do. In my peripheral vision I can see that everyone in The Café is crowded around the plate glass window, looking out at what’s going on. For a split second, I let my attention move to the window. There, I see my mom and Kelsea standing there, both with shock written across their faces, fear in their eyes. Desperately I want them to move back, I want Leigh to grab them and take them away from whatever this potential danger might be. This man supposedly has a gun and they’re standing like open targets at a shootout. When I get out of this, me and Dad are going to have a discussion with both of them.
“Fuck you!” I hear from the smoking vehicle. The voice is as strong as mine, so I have to assume the driver isn’t hurt. He’s here to put up a fight, and I have to take whatever fight that may be seriously.
“Driver!” I try again. This time adding, “Come out with your hands up, facing away from me.”
It’s a split second. Literally five seconds out of an entire lifetime that happens in front of me. He comes from behind the driver’s side door, holding his gun pointed on me. It’s like a movie flashes through my brain. Meeting Kari for the first time, graduating, winning my first football game at Alabama, meeting Kelsea, watching her take her first steps, say Caleb for the first time, and then my dad. I remember all the things my dad has done for me. In my mind I hear him say I love you, and finally it’s Ruby. The way she smiled up at me last night as I sheathed myself inside her. The way her head tilted back as she gave herself over to the feelings we invoke in each other. I never told her I love her, and right now, I might never get the chance to. I have to push all those things out of my head and concentrate on what’s happening in front of me right now. Taking control of the situation is of the utmost importance, and I can’t have all of the noise. Locking all of it away, I put some bass in my voice this time.
“Put it down,” I command.
He doesn’t though, he holds what looks to be a glock up, takes aim, and I know the second he decides to fire. It’s like I can see across the hood of my vehicle into his eyes. I see there’s no other way this can go. He’s not going down without a fight, and there’s a choice I have to make. It’s either him or me. If I want to go home to my family tonight, I have to decide if I’m willing to take this shot. All those people in The Café are in danger, they’re counting on me to protect them. The enormity of the situation sends rivulets of sweat down the back of my bullet proof vest. There’s not time to second guess my decision because it’s then that I hear the crack of the gun firing explode against the stillness of the day.
When he fires, I shift my weight, take aim, and fire too. His shot hits me in the vest, and I’m propelled a few feet backward as I take the impact of the handgun he was in possession of. My shot hits him in the chest, and as he falls, I think it’s fatal. I struggle to my feet as I get up, walking over to where he is, my gun still drawn, pain radiating from where I’ve been hit. I hear the murmurs of patrons, I’m assuming that have come out from the businesses on Main Street. When I get to him, I can see he’s not breathing, but I reach down and check hi
s pulse anyway. As I suspected, my shot was fatal. Kicking the gun out of his reach, I finally key the mic.
“Dispatch, be advised, shots fired,” I’m panting into the radio.
“Caleb!” I hear Havoc’s voice on the radio. “Are you okay?”
I’m trying to get my breath to answer him, unhooking the vest from around my ribs, inhaling a deep gasp of air. I sink to the asphalt, letting the concrete barrier hold me up, as I try to get my surroundings, try to breathe without it shooting pain through my ribs and as I tilt my head back to the sky, thunder cracks loudly and rain falls in sheets, covering everything.
“Caleb?” This time it’s Renegade’s voice.
I can’t make myself get up, can’t make myself move from where I am. Shock is a crazy thing, and I’m so damn tired. It’s the adrenaline high coming down, my body trying to absorb the crazy amounts that were flowing through me as the situation unfolded.
“I’m okay, he got me in the vest, but I need an investigator on scene. Suspect is deceased.”
I’m in shock as I say the words, not fully able to believe this has just happened. I’m not stupid. I know the risk I take every day, the potential for something like this to happen every time I go on shift. I just honestly didn’t think today would be the day. Which I guess no one ever thinks it’ll be the day, but I can’t help but think about how I was bemoaning the fact it’d been a slow day.
It’s a blur as people start pouring out of The Café and backup finally arrives. My gun is taken away from me, and as per protocol, I’m placed on administrative leave immediately. Morgan is there though, checking me over, making sure the vest did its job. And it’s in that moment, I hear a small voice screaming my name.
Kelsea is running from The Café toward me at full speed, Karina is on her heels, and both are crying as they hit me hard, each taking me in their arms.
I allow myself to bury my head in my mom’s neck, allow my baby sister to hold me around the legs, and as they pull me back behind the side wall of The Café, away from prying eyes I let it go. I cry, I cry like I haven’t cried since I was pulled over by Ace and I had to face my dad with all the shit I’d done as a teenager. Huge sobs wrack my body and out of nowhere, I feel strong arms wrap around us, and I know Dad is there. He’s holding us all as I cry like a baby in my mom’s arms.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out. “So damn sorry.”
His voice is near my ear, and I hear every word he says. “Don’t you be sorry, Caleb. You saved a lot of people today, including your mom and sister. Never apologize for doing your job.”
But I know me, and I know it’s going to take me a while to be okay with this. And I know something else too – I’m fucked up, and I have no idea how to process any of this.
Ruby
“What happened today?” My voice is shrill to my own ears, but I’ve heard rumors all day. I hadn’t been anywhere near The Café when the incident happened with Caleb, so I’ve had to hear it second hand each time. Right now, all I want is to be with the man I love and make sure he’s okay. I tried to be polite and knock on his door, but when he wouldn’t answer, I used the key he gave me and let myself in. What I’d found scared me.
Caleb sitting on the couch, nursing a beer, still wearing his clothes from this afternoon, some of them still partially wet.
“He pointed a gun at me,” he says the words blankly, without emotion, and that’s what’s bothering me more than anything. The lack of emotion. I’m pretty sure he’s still in shock, but I don’t know how to help him, not sure how I can make this better for him. Part of me wants to call Morgan, the other part of me is scared to leave Caleb alone long enough for me to do that.
“He was going to kill me.” He swallows hard. “All I could think about was you and my family. What would happen with you all if I wasn’t here anymore. Would you find someone to take my place? Would Kelsea remember me in ten years? How would Dad take it? I mean so much shit went through my head. It was like a highlight reel of my life, like someone was playing it at my funeral. Every bit of it was so surreal, Ruby Red. Every bit of it. It was like an out of body experience that I couldn’t get away from. A dream I couldn’t wake up from.”
“What can I do to help you, Caleb?” I grab his cheeks, forcing him to face me. “What do you need from me?”
“I’m so fucked up right now.” He gets up from the couch, quickly going to the kitchen and grabbing another beer. “I don’t know what I need. All I know is I fucking killed a man, Ruby. I killed a man. You want me touching you? Do you want to go to bed with a man who ended another life? Can you honestly say you can live with me knowing I did that? Because I’m not sure I can live with myself right now.”
“You killed a criminal who had warrants out of five counties and an attempted murder charge, along with the fact he killed another deputy today. You saved what could have been a mass killing situation, you’re a hero, Caleb.”
“A hero?” I see tears pool in his eyes. “I don’t feel like a damn hero right now.”
“You’re in shock, you have to give yourself time to work through this, to recover. You’ve got to give yourself a break. No one says you have to digest this whole situation tonight, right now.”
He takes another drink of his beer, and I’m at a loss on how to help him. I’m not sure what I can do to break through the bullshit he seems to be stuck on. He’s looking at this the wrong way.
“How’s that going to help his family recover?” His voice is hoarse as he asks me this question. I can tell it bothers him, and to be honest it bothers me too, but I can’t let him stay locked in his head like this. It isn’t healthy.
“How do we even know he had a family?” I point out. Not much has been released about the man Caleb took down today.
“Well then that just makes it all better, doesn’t it?” He gives me a look that so smartass I’d like to smack him across the face. This isn’t the man I know, the man I’ve fallen in love with. I’ve never told him, but I do love him. Love everything about him.
“You don’t have to be so mean, Caleb.”
The look on his face isn’t one I’ve ever seen before, and suddenly I’m scared. More scared and worried than I had been this afternoon. I wonder what it’s going to take to make him believe he’s not a monster. Am I strong enough to pull him out of this? Will my love be enough to make him see? Right now I’m doubting it, but I can’t let him know that. I can’t let him know that I’m scared. Right now I have to be the strong one for him, because he’s always been the strong one for me.
“Sweetheart, this is the real Caleb, he’s just been on his best behavior so he can fuck the shit out of you. Surprise and sorry about your luck.”
And that’s when I know that not only is my heart broken, but his is too, and I have zero idea how to fix it or make it right. I refuse to believe this is him, and tonight, I also refuse to let him wallow in his pity alone. He wants to drink himself silly? Then I’ll drink right along with him. Kicking my shoes off, I stalk over to the fridge and grab my own beer.
“You’re not doing this alone, Caleb.”
“You’re cute if you think you’re gonna stop me.”
“Try me, because maybe I’ve been on my best behavior too. You push me, and I’ll push back. You might not like it, but you’re not going to be alone tonight.”
“Fuck it.” He takes a drink from his bottle. “Do whatever you think you have to, but this changes nothing.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. This afternoon, it changed everything.”
“Good that you found out now, Ruby.”
It doesn’t escape me that he doesn’t call me Ruby Red, but that’s okay. I’ll get my name back, just like I’ll get him back. With patience and love.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Ruby
I’m sitting in my car watching Morgan and Caleb eat through The Café window. This is what I’ve been reduced to. It’s been a week since the shooting, and so far, Caleb’s refused to see me. I went to see him
the other night, and it was a bad scene.
“What are you doing here?” Caleb opens his door, arms crossed over his chest. “I figured me not answering any of your calls let you know I’m not up to talking to anyone right now. Including you.”
Not gonna lie, this hurts. Seeing him like this hurts, hearing him talk to me the way he is hurts. But I won’t give up on him. I promised Kelsea months ago that I would be here if he needed me, that I could handle whatever was thrown at me.
“You need me,” I talk against the tightness in my throat.
“I need to be left the fuck alone. You. Mom. Dad. You all need to leave me the fuck alone.”
“We won’t,” I shake my head standing my ground. “We won’t leave you alone to deal with this by yourself.”
“Fine, then if you won’t leave, I will.”
I watch helplessly as he puts his shoes on, grabs his wallet, and storms out. Once I’m there by myself, I clean up, making myself busy until I realize he’s not coming back. Finally I take myself to his bed, tuck his pillow under my chin, and cry it all out.
When I wake up alone the next morning, I know he hasn’t been back, and I know he won’t until I’m gone. It’s sobering, and it’s not the best feeling in the world. But he won’t push me away that easily.
That fear of rejection is still here, but I’ve finally decided that I don’t care. He’s sent every one of my calls to voicemail. Any text I’ve sent has gone unanswered, and I’m beyond frustrated.
I can’t understand why he’s pushing me away, when even sitting here like I am, staring at him from a distance, I can see he needs me. He and Morgan drove separately; I see both their vehicles. I plan on confronting him when he leaves – I’m beyond sick of being ignored.
Cruise Page 17