All the Light There Is: The Healing Edge - Book Three

by Anise Eden

  Ambient noise prevented much conversation, but we still pointed things out to each other: a tree that still had most of its fire-orange leaves, a formation of Canada geese flying overhead. I felt so light, as though the wind were blowing right through me. There we were, the two of us, driving along and taking in the landscape just like a normal couple.

  Of course, we were anything but. Our meeting at the Smithsonian had driven that point home. But for the next little while, I pushed everything else out of my mind and soaked in the deliciousness of the experience.

  My reverie was interrupted when we pulled up to the Tidewater Inn, a gorgeous, four-story historic building in downtown Easton. The valet whistled in appreciation at the Jag, thanking Ben as he took the keys.

  As we stood on the sidewalk, I leaned in and gave Ben a quick kiss on the cheek. Then I took both of his hands and rested them on my hips as I beamed up at him. “That was an incredible ride. I think we should take the Jag out as often as possible.”

  Ben gave me a sideways grin. “You don’t have to convince me. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He nodded towards the door of the inn and rubbed his hand gently up and down my arm. “You ready for this?”

  “Yes, of course.” After all, we’d come all that way just to meet Ardis, my mother’s cousin. Ardis had called and asked me to meet her in Easton for dinner. I’d thought that it was odd, since she lived in Delaware, but she said she was going to be there visiting an old friend and that she wanted to talk to me about something important. I assumed it had something to do with my mother’s effects or her last wishes. When, for the first time ever, her question about whether I was dating someone was answered with a yes, she’d insisted that I bring Ben too, so that she could “check him out.” To my surprise, Ben was more than eager to meet my closest living family member, and didn’t appear to be in the least bit nervous. I wondered for the hundredth time if he was really that self-assured, or if he was just a very good actor.

  I did a quick repair job on my braid in the ladies’ room and met Ben back in the lobby. I took his elbow, and we walked into the tavern. I gave the hostess Ardis’s name, and she guided us through a series of elegantly furnished rooms. My heart swelled when I finally spotted Ardis half-standing out of her seat and waving to me.

  “Ardis!” I called, approaching her with open arms—then stopping. And looking to my right. And freezing in place. Standing up from his seat at our table wearing a polo shirt and a sheepish expression was—no, it couldn’t be…

  “Skeet?” I barely whispered his name, certain that I must be hallucinating. Skeet was the head of the National Institutes of Mental Health, or NIMH. He was also the man who had asked the MacGregor Group to spend the past week holed up in one of their sub-basements on our top-secret mission. For some reason, he had taken a liking to me, and had even come to my defense a couple of times. But he had also tried to recruit me to join paranormal research studies that used empathic abilities in ways that could potentially be coercive or intrusive, which had made me doubt his ethics. And there was absolutely no reason in hell why he should be at the Tidewater Inn in Easton having dinner with Ardis.

  I felt Ben’s whole body stiffen behind me. He stepped to my right and placed himself between the apparition and me. “Skeet, what a surprise,” Ben said with forced politeness.

  Ardis paled. “Oh, Cate, I’m sorry, honey,” she said quickly. “I know you don’t like surprises, but Skeet is the old friend I told you I was coming to visit, and when he told me that you all knew each other, I just thought…” Her voice cracked as she spoke. “I thought it would be fun.”

  Well, that settled that. I couldn’t have Ardis feeling bad, not on my account. I jammed a smile onto my face, pulled her into an embrace, and hugged tightly. “Of course, I’m sorry!” I pulled away from her, looked her straight in the eye, and lied. “It’s a wonderful surprise! I was just shocked for a second, you know, seeing Skeet out of context like this.” Then I turned to my right. “Nice to see you, Skeet!”

  “You too—both of you!” Skeet smiled apologetically, shaking Ben’s hand, and then mine. “I’m glad this is okay.”

  Ardis’s shoulders dropped with relief. “Me, too. I didn’t want to upset you, sweetheart.”

  “Don’t be silly!” My cheeks were burning with the effort of wearing my cheerful expression. “Ben, this is Ardis, my mother’s cousin.”

  Ardis’s eyebrows shot up as she looked him over. “It is certainly a pleasure to meet Cate’s young man.”

  “It’s wonderful to meet you, too.” Ben’s tone was warm as he shook her hand. “Cate has told me so much about you.”

  Ardis smiled and even blushed slightly. She was clearly charmed. “Well, make yourselves comfortable.”

  We all took our seats. Ben took the chair next to Skeet, while I sat next to Ardis and scanned the room for whatever rip in the fabric of the space-time continuum had led us all to that exact space, at that particular moment in time.

  Chapter Five

  There was an awkward silence, which the waitress mercifully broke by taking our drink orders. “So Cate, Ben,” Ardis said, “Skeet tells me that you three worked together last week on some kind of secret project!”

  “That’s right,” Ben said.

  “Yes.” I looked from Ardis to Skeet and back again. “I’m just amazed by this coincidence! How do you two know each other?”

  They exchanged a glance, as though silently trying to decide who should answer my question. Ardis apparently drew the short straw. “Well, sweetheart, that’s actually related to the thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

  It felt like all of the breath left my body in a whoosh. What on earth was going on? I pulled some air into my lungs and took a sip of water. “The important thing?”

  “Yes, that.” Ardis looked over at Skeet again. Both of their expressions were grave. He nodded at her, and she continued. “Skeet was good friends with your parents.”

  I gave my head a quick shake. I couldn’t have heard correctly…could I? “My parents?”

  He nodded. “Your father and I were fraternity brothers at George Washington University, and we started out together at NIMH. We met Rhona and Ardis at a barbecue—a mutual friend’s house in St. Michaels. For a while, the four of us spent almost every weekend together.”

  “We sure did,” Ardis said, her expression brightening at the memory. “Those were good times.”

  “I…I don’t understand.” I had no memories of my father, who’d left before I was a year old. I’d always assumed that Ardis had known him, since she had always been close to Mom, but she’d never spoken about him—nor had my mother, for that matter. But discovering that Skeet had been friends with both of my parents? That was too bizarre—especially because in the week we’d worked together, he’d never mentioned it.

  Suddenly, all of the sounds around me became muffled. I could see Ardis’s mouth moving and hear her voice, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. My mouth went dry, and my pulse pounded loudly in my ears.

  “Cate.” I heard Ben calling me as though from a distance. He slid his arm around me and rubbed my shoulder briskly. My sense of hearing began to normalize. “Cate, are you okay?” he asked.

  I leaned into him and inhaled slowly, trying to absorb some of his energy, his strength. I swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m sorry,” I said to Ardis, “this just all comes as kind of a shock. I mean, Skeet, you never said anything.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry.” Skeet smoothed out the linen tablecloth in front of him. “The Captain ordered me not to. He was afraid that any such personal revelations would distract you from your work.”

  Captain Abbott—the man in charge of Yankee Company, Ben and Pete’s old Marine Corps unit. Yankee Company had handled security for our mission the week before. I turned quickly to look at Ben. If he had known about the situation and kept it from me… But it was clear by the look of suppressed anger on his face that he was as surprised as I was.

  Ben’s a
rm tightened around me. “You could have told her afterwards,” he said coolly.

  “Well, that’s why I’m here now,” Skeet said, smiling tentatively. “That’s why Ardis invited me.”

  “That’s right.” Ardis reached over and gave my arm a reassuring rub. “I thought you would want to know. I’m sure you figured out that your mother forbade me to talk to you about your father. She wasn’t thrilled about the fact that Skeet and I stayed in touch, either. But since she’s gone—” Ardis paused, pain flashing across her face. “Well, we can talk freely now.”

  “It’s okay, Ardis.” I took her hand and squeezed it. “Mom never talked to me about him, and since no one else did either, I just assumed she had you all under a gag order.”

  “I’m so glad you understand,” she said, visibly relieved.

  A strange thought flashed through my mind. “Skeet, did you know me when I was a baby?”

  “Yes,” he said, his eyes misting. “From the start, actually. I was in the waiting room with your father when you were born.”

  The more I learned, the weirder it got. “And you said you were at NIMH together?”

  “Yes. Your father was a neuroscientist too. We worked in the same lab.”

  At least that explained why Skeet had acted so strangely familiar with me the week before, when as far as I knew we’d only just met—and why he’d said at one point that he was “proud” of me, which had seemed odd. Now I understood. I was his good friend’s daughter; he must have felt some paternal inclination toward me.

  “Wait a minute—was a neuroscientist?” A sudden chill passed through me. “What does that mean?”

  “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. This is the important thing I wanted to tell you.” Ardis gripped my hand hard. “Your father passed away about a year and a half ago.”

  “What?” I said with a gasp.

  Ben twisted around and looked at me directly, his worry lines hard set. He slid his chair closer to mine, reached down, and held my free hand. I gripped his fingers as I tried to absorb what I was hearing. I had lost both of my parents within a year and a half, and I hadn’t even known it. And here were two people sitting in front of me who had known, but hadn’t told me.

  As though she’d read my mind, Ardis jumped in. “I wanted to tell you right after your mother’s funeral, but you ran off before I got the chance, and then you weren’t answering your phone… I thought it best to wait until I could tell you in person.”

  The pleading in her voice pricked me with guilt. She was right; for a while, I had avoided her calls, along with anything else that might remind me of my mother. “I’m so sorry, Ardis. I should have been in touch. It was just…”

  “Too much. I know.” She patted my arm. “You don’t have to explain. I knew you were going through a lot. I’m just glad you’re here now.”

  “Me too,” I said, and I meant it. I only wished that Skeet hadn’t joined us. His presence during such an intimate family conversation felt like a splinter under my skin. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “How did my father die?”

  Ardis looked to Skeet, who cleared his throat. “A hunting accident,” he said.

  “Oh god! How awful.” My stomach clenched against a wave of nausea.

  “Yes, it was a terrible tragedy,” Skeet said.

  “What…what happened?” I whispered.

  “Witnesses said that he reached for his gun, and it accidentally discharged. You should know, though, that his death was instant. He didn’t suffer.”

  “Oh.” I clung to Ben to keep my balance as the room began to spin. Death was instant…didn’t suffer… Still, I couldn’t stop my mind from painting gruesome scenes. I forced myself to turn and gaze into Ben’s face, my only solace. But he looked miserable, and I could tell how much he hated that he couldn’t save me from everything I was hearing.

  “I’m so sorry, Cate,” Skeet said, and he sounded sincere.

  It felt like an emotional black hole was trying to suck me in. I combatted it by reminding myself that I wasn’t the only one who had lost people I cared about recently. Ardis had been very close to my mom. And the week before, our patient at NIMH, another friend of Skeet’s, had spent days in a coma before finally succumbing to poisoning. “I’m sorry too,” I said softly.

  Ardis got up to embrace me. It was comforting to hold her. Ardis was so like Mom in many ways, and she had been a constant in my life, someone who loved me unconditionally. True, she had kept secrets from me, but I knew she had only been respecting my mother’s wishes.

  She pulled away from me, tears filling her eyes. I figured I should be crying as well, but it was as though the shock of the situation had knocked the tears right out of me.

  We sat back down, and the waitress came to take our orders. I couldn’t imagine anything tasting good to me in that moment, so I let Ardis order for me. Someone put a cup of coffee in front of me.

  I sat on my hands so no one would see them trembling. It struck me as odd how close together my parents’ deaths had been. I couldn’t help but wonder if my father’s tragic passing had contributed somehow to my mother’s suicide. I turned to Ardis. “Did Mom know? About my father, I mean?”

  “Yes,” she said, sighing heavily and looking down at her hands. “She knew. Skeet told me, and I told her.”

  “How did she…react?”

  “It’s a little complicated,” Ardis said. “I think it’s best if we save that conversation for later.”

  She was right. I had no idea what kind of Pandora’s box that question might open, and I had many more questions—none of which I wanted to get into with Skeet around.

  We passed a few moments in silence. Ben wrapped his arm around my shoulders again and murmured in my ear, asking if I needed to get some air. But I didn’t want to move. I was afraid that if I did, some strong emotion might break loose. On the other hand, if I sat perfectly still and concentrated on the sensation of Ben’s arm around me, I might be able to keep myself under control.

  “We erected a memorial to him not far from here if you’d like to visit,” Skeet said.

  “Where is it?” I asked absently, trying to keep another awkward silence at bay.

  “About half an hour southwest, near our lodge.”

  “Your lodge?”

  Skeet nodded. “After college, your father and I built a sporting lodge with some of our fraternity brothers. A group of us stayed in D.C. after graduation, and we needed a place to get away to on the weekends. It has a lot of outdoor recreational activities—fishing, paintball, archery…”

  “And hunting,” I said.

  He cast his eyes down. “Yes.”

  Suddenly, holding up my end of the conversation became too exhausting. One glance at Ardis told me that she was still feeling too emotional to make small talk. I leaned my head to the side and rested it on Ben’s shoulder, shooting him what I hoped was a subtle but pleading glance.

  As always, he came to my aid. “Half an hour southwest—is it near Tilghman Island?” Ben asked.

  Skeet appeared relieved that the conversation had moved into less emotional territory. “Yes. Are you familiar with the area?”

  “A bit,” Ben said. “One of my buddies, another Marine vet, lives in Neavitt. He’s a mechanic, but he spends a lot of time on the water.”

  “Well, then, you’ve probably passed right by the lodge and not realized it. It’s a good-sized compound, but it’s hard to find behind the trees unless you know where to look.”

  “A compound?” Ben’s eyebrows lifted.

  “Well, it’s grown over time,” Skeet said with a note of pride. “There’s the main lodge, some recreational facilities, a clubhouse, and various other buildings to support our agricultural and sporting activities. There are cabins too, for guests who like more privacy, and for some of our NIMH research subjects who come out regularly.”

  At “research subjects,” Ardis seemed to regain interest in the conversation. “You mean the people you experiment on?”

&nbs
p; Skeet gave a tight-lipped smile. “Come on, you know that’s now how I look at things. Which reminds me, Ben. I wanted to invite you and Cate to come stay at the lodge this week—and the rest of your group, as well, if they like. It’s not peak season, so there are plenty of empty rooms. I thought you all might enjoy some R&R, especially after how intense things were last week.”

  Ben’s shoulders stiffened almost imperceptibly, but his tone remained friendly. “That’s a tempting offer. But we were away from the clinic all last week, and our clients…”

  “Of course.” Skeet shook his head. “You have obligations. Maybe another time. I just thought it would be a good opportunity because two of the research subjects involved in a private project of mine will be there this week. I thought our people might enjoy comparing notes, maybe even give each other some tips.”

  “That is a good thought,” Ben said. “You’re working on a private project?”

  “Yes,” Skeet said. “Actually, it’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you and Cate about. I just didn’t think today would be…well, the best time. For obvious reasons.”

  “Of course.” I saw a muscle in Ben’s jaw twitch. “I’ll tell you what. Let me touch base with the clinic and see what this week looks like. We have a backup team who helped us out last week; they might be able to do some pinch-hitting. We probably can’t spare our whole group for an entire week, but I agree, they’ve earned some time off, and the lodge sounds like a great place. Can I let you know tomorrow?”

  What the hell…? Was Ben actually considering staying with Skeet for the week—and did he actually think I would want to as well? Slowly, I lifted my head and turned to look at him. As our eyes locked, I could see that there were many wheels turning beneath that casual demeanor of his. Clearly, he had reasons for not immediately rejecting Skeet’s invitation. Ben gave me one of his charming half-smiles, then reached under the table and gave my knee a squeeze, confirming that some kind of plan was afoot. I mustered a weak smile. I would play along, but I would be looking for answers once we were alone together.