by Bell, Adora
***
Sara looked up at the clock. Compass were due on stage in an hour - the rest of the band would be in their dressing rooms, running through their own pre-show rituals. Once upon a time Sara would have wanted nothing more than to be in the front row, cheering them on. But tonight was different. Tonight there would be no Jack Carter, no front man. And all Sara cared about was seeing him safe. She replayed their early morning conversation in her head, over and over, hoping to recall some small detail that would give a hint of where he was, of what he was thinking. But she had nothing to go on. Only what Michael had said,that he'd be roaming the city somewhere. She gazed out of the window and pictured Jack lost in the winding streets of Paris. Fuck it, she thought to herself, there was no point sitting around driving herself crazy. Ignoring the rational part of her brain, she pulled on her jacket and headed for the elevator. Though she barely knew Jack Carter, and had no idea what was going on, Sara was sure of one thing. He called her because he needed her. She came because, despite all her misgivings, she wanted to be there for him. And if she had to hunt him down in a strange, dark city, then that was what she was going to do
The rain had finally stopped, but the wind carried a chill. Sara stuffed her hands in her pockets, wishing she had gloves. The receptionist had thrust an elaborate map of Paris into her hands as she left the hotel, but she had given up trying to follow her route. It wasn't like she knew where she was going anyway. Instead, Sara followed the river, hoping the dark waters of the Seine would lead her to her lover. She scanned the faces of everyone she passed, hoping Jack would emerge from the crowd, but there were only strangers, puzzled as to why the tourist was staring at them. Though her body ached with tiredness, Sara kept walking. Suddenly she found herself standing before the glittering glass pyramid of the Louvre, and she stopped and stared for a moment. The contrast of the modern structure with the ancient building behind was quite breathtaking, and Sara almost forgot the purpose of her mission as she marvelled at its beauty. She thought of the Mona Lisa tucked safely away inside, charming visitors with her mysterious expression, unreadable yet alluring. Jack was no oil painting, but there was something enigmatic about him too, a sadness behind every smile. Hidden depths that she would love to uncover, if she could just lay hands on him. Sara checked her cell phone for the hundredth time, hoping against hope that he was back in the warmth of the hotel room wondering where she was. No new messages.
Passing the museum, Sara found herself at the entrance to a magnificent park. In the distance she could see the imposing structure of the Arc de Triomphe, and further, the tip of the Eiffel Tower standing tall against the skyline. Even in her anxious state, Sara felt overwhelmed by the beauty of the city. Surely Jack must have felt it too as he walked the streets. Sara hoped it had offered him a little comfort. She quickened her pace as she made her way down the wide central promenade. It was growing late, and the city's crowds were thinning out. Suddenly, Sara felt alone, and more than a little uncomfortable. A shadow made her start, but it was only a statue, partially concealed by the ornate shrubbery. Sara sighed and hurried on. A little way ahead, she could see a crowd of young men loitering underneath one of the metal lamp posts that flanked the path. Sara pulled her coat tighter around herself and tried to walk casually as she passed them. She had just put them behind her when she heard a wolf whistle, and some rough sounding French that elicited a laugh from the rest of the group. Then all of a sudden, Sara felt a hand clamp down on her shoulder. As she whirled round, she saw that they had formed a semi-circle around her. The lit ends of their cigarettes glowed in the gloom.
"Please...I'm just looking for someone," Sara stuttered, unnerved by their predatory expressions. They were probably younger than her, some still bearing teenaged acne across their tanned cheeks, but there was something threatening about them nonetheless. The ringleader snaked his arm around her shoulders, and said something unintelligible in her ear, gaining another laugh from his friends. Sara could smell alcohol on his breath. She tried to pull away from him, but he grabbed her arm, his fingers biting into her soft flesh with such force that she cried out. Sara looked around frantically, desperate for someone to come to her aid, but all of a sudden the vast park seemed deserted. She cursed herself for being so stupid, wandering around by herself at night. Another man was approaching her now, saying something to his buddy, a sickening grin on his face. Sara reached slowly into her coat pocket, trying to find her wallet, hoping that the remainder of her cash would convince them to leave her alone. She tried to stay calm, to keep her breathing steady, not to give herself over to the panic she could feel building. Then, like a light in the darkness, a voice rang out.
"Hey! Leave her the fuck alone!"
Sara turned her head to see a dark shape running towards them. The ringleader reflexively loosened his grip on her arm, and she wrenched herself away from him, running as fast as her shaking legs could manage. The voice came again,
"That's right, run! Get the hell out of here!" Not wanting to look round to see if the thugs had responded to this request, Sara ran helplessly towards the voice, and collapsed shaking into the stranger's arms.
"Hey, you ok there? You're safe now, don't worry. Bunch of jerks." The voice was American. Familiar. Comforting. Sara looked up.
"I was looking for you." There was a moment of silence as they took each other in."Looks like you found me." Jack wrapped his arms around her and pressed her close to his chest.
***
Huddled on the bench, Sara clung to Jack's arm, unwilling to let go of him even for a second.
"Sara, I'm so, so sorry. I've dragged you out here and now you almost got hurt...thank god I got there in time. I don't know what I would have done if something had happened..."
"Nothing happened. I'm fine. I'm just worried about you. What on earth's going on Jack?"
"Don't you read the papers?"
"Yeah, I do. Now tell me what really happened."
"Oh Sara. It's a long story."
"Well I spent eight hours on a plane getting here. I'm ready for it."
Jack looked down at her. Her cheeks were pink from the cold, her hair mussed by the wind. She looked incredible. He placed his hands in the small of her back and pulled her towards him, running his hands through her hair as their lips met. He felt her body relax as his tongue pushed its way into her mouth. Then she pulled away abruptly.
"Jack," she said, trying to keep the smile off her face, "I thought you wanted to talk."
"When did I ever say that?"
"You're not funny. I've been so worried. Everyone's worried, and you just disappear off into the night, like, like..."
"An idiot?"
"Something like that."
Jack stroked her face gently, trying to find the words to explain himself, but he drew a blank. There was so much to say, but he didn't know where to begin.
I'm sorry," he managed at last. Then he kissed her again. Sara stopped trying to fight it. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. She helped him with the buttons of her jacket, until he could slip his hands into the warmth beneath. They traced her curves through her tight sweater, as Jack kissed her neck, allowing his teeth to gently pressure her soft skin. Sara let out a moan.
Jack's fingers were cold as they stroked their way over the sensitive skin of her belly, striving upwards to tease the hard points of her nipples through her bra. She was on top of him now, straddling his lap, his erection apparent even through the thick fabric of his jeans.
Maybe we should get back to the hotel," she whispered hoarsely in his ear, grinding her crotch against him in desperation. She was dying to feel him inside her again.
Jack moved his right hand between her legs and began to massage her clit in rhythmic circles, applying just the right amount of pressure. Already dripping wet, Sara felt her pussy spasm as it let forth another gush of moisture.
"I don't think I can wait that long,"Jack grunted. "I have to have you now."
With her legs still wrapp
ed around him, Jack lifted Sara he weighed nothing and carried her to a more secluded part of the park, away from the central pathway. He pushed her against one of the tall chestnut trees that lined the park. Sara could smell earth and wet leaves, and feel the roughness of the bark through her clothes. Her cold fingers fumbled with the buttons of his fly, desperate to free him, as she rubbed his bulge with the palm of her hand. She could hear Jack panting in her ear, then his mouth was on hers, his hands pulling at her clothes. At last he freed her breasts and buried his head between them, inhaling her warm, feminine scent as his fingers dived back between her legs. Sara's eyes flew open as he entered her in one hard thrust, gripping her hips, gritting his teeth as he pushed himself inside her. They fucked like animals, rough and frenzied, Sara biting her lip to stop herself from crying out into the cold night air. She felt Jack's grip on her tighten, and he began to moan into her ear, “Oh god, oh god, Sara-' her name left his mouth in a strangled cry as he came in heart-stopping spasms. At the sound of his voice Sara felt something inside her shatter, and she exploded around him, every inch of her vibrating with the force of her orgasm.
Jack lowered her gently to the ground as she pulled her clothes to cover herself. Buttoning up his own pants, he kissed her tenderly on the forehead.
"That was...quite something." Jack grinned, and Sara couldn't help but smile back.
"Certainly was."
Jack put his arm around Sara's shoulders and she snuggled into his warmth. Together, they made their way down the pathway, heading towards the Arc de Triomphe.
"Pretty spectacular, isn't it?" Sara said softly.
"Not as spectacular as you."
Sara responded with a playful slap on the arm. "Quit joking around Carter. It's been a long day."
"Who said I was joking?"
Sara looked up at him. He looked sincere, and handsome as ever. But the dark rings beneath his eyes worried her. And was she imagining it, or did his face look thinner?
"You're meant to be on stage right now, you know. People paid a lot of money for those tickets. If it was me, I'd be mad as hell."
"They're not just there for me, you know."
"Jack, no disrespect to the rest of the guys, but it's not Compass without you."
" Pfft. Who's going to want to see me now, huh? You've seen the pictures. You know what they're saying. I'm finished, Sara, that's all there is to it." A note of anger had crept into his voice.
"Jack..." Sara trailed off, unsure how to convince him otherwise.
"See? Nothing to say, is there?"
"Yes there is, if you would just give me a minute! Look, people on my own street don't even recognize me. I'm not going to pretend I know what it's like being you, and having my life laid out on the front pages every day. But I know that people love you. They love your music, they love the band...that doesn't just go away overnight, no matter what the newspapers might write. And...I haven't known you very long. But I know enough about you that I know you would never have done anything to hurt anyone. So whatever's going on here, they've got their facts wrong. I guess I just don't understand why you're hiding away and taking it like this. Why don't you fight back? Stand up for yourself? Whatever the truth is...it can't be any worse than what they're saying. Right?"
Jack narrowed his eyes, and Sara thought she caught a glimpse of a tear. She took his hand and squeezed it. They walked in silence for a couple of minutes, letting Jack gather his thoughts.
"Sara...I'm not the guy you seem to think I am. I never sold drugs, never; I don't even touch the stuff myself. But that doesn't mean I'm a good person. I've done plenty of shitty things in my time, things I don't even like to think about. Those pictures...that wasn't a great time in my life. I was trying to help someone I loved, but I screwed it up. I let them down. And I'm not going to drag all that out into the open for the sake of my career, I'm just not. Anyway, if they knew the truth...nobody would look at me the same way again. It all ends the same, Sara. I'm done."
"Fine. Give up then."
"I'm not giving up. It's for the best."
"And what are you going to do now, huh? Go rot in your mansion somewhere, become a recluse? Have plastic surgery and get a job in Safeway?"
"Man, I never was much good as a check out chick. I don't know, ok. I'll figure something out. Come on, it's freezing. Lets get you back to the hotel, we'll order some room service, then you can yell at me some more."
"I'm not hungry."
"Sara...I'm sorry ok? Jesus, what do you want me to say?"
"Your band are out there right now, playing the songs you wrote, with that asshole Michael singing your words. All because you're scared of...what exactly? A few stupid journalists?"
"I...I'm not scared, ok, it's just...once they start digging, once they know they're on to something, they won't let it go. If I argue, they're going to keep asking questions, and eventually my whole goddamn life will be down there in black and white. I've worked too damn hard to keep my past private. Some things are best forgotten."
"Some things, or some people?"
Jack shook his head.
"You're not going to let this go, are you? Dammit Sara."
They had reached the main street, and as the traffic whizzed past, Jack waved hopefully at passing taxis. Eventually, a battered black car with a cracked sign pulled up, and they slid into the back seat. Jack crossed his arms over his chest and stared out of the window as they travelled back towards the hotel. Then he felt a soft touch on his shoulder, and Sara wrapped her arms around him.
"I'm sorry," she whispered in his ear, "I'm trying to understand, I am. It's just hard when I don't know the whole story. But you're Jack fucking Carter. You can't give up on your life like that, you just can't."
He squeezed her tight, breathing in the scent of her, feeling her soft hair against his cheek.
"Driver?" he said suddenly, eliciting a Gallic grunt from the front seat."Not the hotel. The Diamond Club. Fast,please."
"Oui Monsieur." The driver sounded almost gleeful as he pulled an illegal U turn and raced off into the night.
***
Michael stepped back from the microphone and raised his hands above his head. The crowd hollered, and he felt his heart leap in his chest. This was the best night of his life. At last, he was the front man, the centre of everyone's attention. All those hours spent working on his vocals had paid off. The fans were loving it. Soon they would forget all about Jack. Once this scandal blew over, the press would tell the dramatic tale of how Compass rose from the ashes, with Michael at the helm, to start a new and even brighter era. Then maybe, in a year or so, it would be time to go solo... He was so busy fantasizing, that at first Michael didn't notice the stirring at the back of the club. Ripples spread through the crowd, whispers and gasps turning to screams of excitement that travelled towards the stage. Squinting through the bright lights, Michael could see the audience part as someone shouldered their way through.
“No fucking way,” he growled under his breath. Assisted by a sea of hands, Jack Carter hauled himself up on to the stage and grabbed a microphone from the stand. A sudden hush fell over the auditorium.
“Um, hi. Sorry I'm late.” Laughter from the crowd.
“I wasn't going to come here tonight. I thought, after the allegations that have been printed about me, that Compass would be better off without me. Luckily, someone convinced me otherwise. I don't have time to tell you the whole story tonight....I think most of you would prefer to hear some music. But what I can tell you, is that I have never in my life sold drugs. I've never even taken drugs, if you want to know the truth. I know you have no reason to believe me...but I hope that you can trust me on this one. And whatever you might think of me, I hope you can still enjoy our music. Thank you.”
For a moment, everything was still. Then the applause started, just a few people at first, but the others joined in until the clapping of hands thundered around the room. Micheal’s face was white with rage as a sound man rushed unto the stage to
hook up Jack's microphone.
“Nice one, douche bag,” he hissed, “Couldn't bear to be out of the spotlight for a second? Oh, and if you're going to do a heartwarming speech, maybe save it for a crowd that actually speaks English? These morons don't even know what they're clapping for.”
“I'm sure someone will translate for them,” Jack said with a shrug. Someone handed him his guitar, and he eased the strap onto his shoulder. He had felt naked without it.
“Shouldn't you be taking care of your little piece of ass? We can manage fine without you.” Michael spat at Jack, casting a desultory glance at where Sara waited at the side of the stage.
“Shut the fuck up Michael,” Andy, the drummer, suddenly butted in. “Let's just get the next song going, ok?” The band all turned to their instruments. Andy didn't normally say much, but when he did, they listened. As they launched into What Comes Next, Jack felt a tiny glimmer of hope. The crowd sang alongside him, just as they always did. Perhaps things hadn't changed all that much.