Amish Love Be Kind 3-Book Boxed Set

by Rachel Stoltzfus

  Before the three men returned to Peace Valley, they stopped in to speak to Emily. “Auntie, I’m so sorry. I’ll let Daed and Mamm know. If you can, please call us about the funeral.”

  “Ya, I will, Abram. You did the right thing, you know. He was so filled with anger. It was just a matter of time until he killed me, you know.”

  Abram’s breath left his chest in a rush. He looked wide eyed at Eli.

  “See? Gott worked through you. In the end, it worked out as it should have. This will give strength to the beginning of a new Peer Council here. I’ve already spoken with Bishop Stone about this.”

  That afternoon, after getting home, Abram dropped his duffle bag in the bedroom upstairs, and then hitched his horses to the buggy. He had a sad task to carry out. But first, stopping at the Zook farm, he spoke to Big Sam. “My uncle killed himself last night. He had been banned. After supper, he came to Bishop Stone’s house and attacked me.” He pointed at his swollen, still painful nose. “He was arrested and taken to the county jail and, around three this morning, he hung himself.

  Chapter 7

  “My auntie’s going to be calling us about the funeral, if you want to go.”

  Sam lowered his head in quiet respect for the loss of life. “Ya, we will. How are you doing right now?”

  “Honestly, I’m sad about the loss of so much potential. He carried so much anger, Sam! We were talking about it on the way home. All we can figure out is that, deep down, he was really insecure about his role as a man, husband and father. And it came out as violence.”

  Hannah came out onto the porch. Seeing Abram’s swollen, bruised and misshapen nose, she gasped and ran to him. “Abram, what happened?”

  “My uncle hit me. Last night. We had to call the sheriff in Ohio.” Abram sighed, not wanting to tell Hannah the tragic news. But he knew she would get it out of him. “Very early this morning, he hung himself. Auntie Emily will be calling with details for the viewing and funeral.”

  “Oh, my! I hope he’ll finally find peace. Ya, we will go to the funeral. Are you in pain?”

  Abram waggled his hand back and forth. “I take acetaminophen and insert this numbing stuff into my nostrils. Because of my anxiety medication, that’s all I can do.”

  “I hope you’re taking that medication as ordered.”

  “Oh, ya. I am. It helps. Although, I had a very strange nightmare last night. I dreamed about being hit by Zeb again. Only, I wasn’t myself. I was my auntie.”

  Hannah’s, Sam’s and Ruth’s jaws all dropped. Ruth shook her head. “That gives you a unique perspective, doesn’t it?”

  “Ya. I’m going to tell Joshua everything that happened. Hannah, do you want to come home with me?”

  “Ya, I do. You look so tired!”

  “I am. But it’s just mainly because of everything that’s happened since Zeb was banned.”

  Sam interjected. “Abram, I notice you’re not referring to him as ‘uncle.’”

  Abram shook his head carefully. “I can’t think of him as my blood. Not after everything he did to his family and me. I will respect the gut parts of him. But...”

  “Ya, I understand. You are changing, Abram. You’re in touch with the gut part of you.” Ruth was looking at Abram. “We all have two sides to us, gut and bad. Allow your gut side to come out.”

  Again, being careful, Abram nodded.

  “I’ll pack our things. Mamm, I’m going to make an early supper at home. He needs to get to bed as early as possible. Abram, have you told your family yet?”

  “Nee. I’m not sure if Auntie Emily has called them or not. We should stop by there as well.”

  “I’ll be down in a few minutes.” Hannah disappeared upstairs.

  SEEING HIS DAED, ABRAM realized that Emily had already called him. “You know.”

  “Ya. I keep thinking of the boy he was. So full of life and laughter. He changed shortly after he asked Emily to marry him. It was like night and day. I keep thinking of an old Indian saying I came across. One about a good wolf and a bad wolf. Depending on which one you feed, that’s who you’ll become. He chose to feed the bad wolf of his doubts and insecurities. He made as if he was the big, confident and decisive man. Instead, he was scared of allowing Emily to be her own person within their marriage. Did he hit you?” Isaac indicated Abram’s broken nose.

  “Ya, last night. Before he was arrested and taken to the jail up there. I’ll be okay. So, I guess we should plan for a trip to Ohio soon?”

  “Ya. Emily will call again as soon as they’ve decided on a time for his funeral. Are you okay? Emotionally, I mean.”

  “Ya. Just tired. I want to talk to Joshua about everything that happened. I think I’m getting to the point where I can handle things without blowing up.”

  “And do you see that Hannah has a real role in your marriage?”

  “Ya. A big one. I’m going to go home. I am beat.”

  Isaac folded Abram into his arms for a rare father-son hug.

  AFTER ABRAM AND HANNAH had put Eleanor into her crib, they went downstairs, where Abram leaned back against the couch with a long sigh. “She has really changed! She’s already starting to sit up! When will she start crawling?”

  “Not too soon, I hope! I need to look at everything at her level that could cause her harm and move them.”

  “Let me know and I’ll help you.” Abram studied and reflected on his weekend experiences, thinking about how they had changed him. “Seeing what he did to auntie and my cousins showed me just how much risk I was putting you and Eleanor into. Did I tell you that, when he hit me Sunday night, it led to a nightmare?”

  “Nee!” Hannah was stunned. “Another one?”

  “Ya, but it had a gut effect. In that nightmare, when Zeb hit me, I was not myself. I was my auntie.”

  Hannah’s face crinkled in momentary confusion. “You were her? Then, I can see how it gave you more insight.”

  “Ya. Fright. Helplessness. Anger. I felt all those things. Hannah, what did you feel when I went after you?”

  Hannah gazed at Abram. “All of the same things. Fear for Eleanor, both before and after she was born.”

  Hannah’s innocent honesty had the effect of slamming into Abram’s gut like a heavy boot. He leaned back into the couch’s back. Looking at Hannah, he sighed. “I am so sorry, my Hannah. I inflicted that on you, all because of what Zeb did to me. He was scared and insecure. He thought he had to exert power over auntie and my cousins.”

  “And now, your male cousins are doing the same.”

  “Ya. Out of a belief that that’s how it’s supposed to be. One gut thing...the bishop in Ohio has asked Eli and Bishop Kurtz about starting a Peer Council up there.”

  Hannah grinned. “Gut! Maybe we can help him out.”

  “Maybe. Let’s see what happens. I want to finish with my counseling and continue studying. Maybe I can help Eli and the other counselors.”

  “They’ve asked if we’d do that already. They’re pretty happy about how you’re learning and changing.”

  LIFE WENT SMOOTHLY for Abram and Hannah. As they found out about Zeb’s funeral arrangements, they made plans to drive up to Ohio in a large van driven by an Englisch driver, who promised to bring a car seat for Eleanor to use.

  AFTER THE FUNERAL ENDED, the Peace Valley contingent returned home. Abram had learned a lot about his uncle’s treatment of his auntie and cousins—which made him grieve for them. Before they left, he made sure to take his auntie aside so he could talk to her. “Auntie, I don’t know how much you know of how Zeb’s actions affected me. But, before I spent that last summer up here with you, I had it firmly in my mind and heart that any kind of violence against anyone was wrong. That it violated the Ordnung. Then, I saw Zeb hitting you and my cousins. A part of me knew it was wrong, but another part of me marveled at how quickly his tactics got results. Yet, I was confused. When I married Hannah, I was bound and determined that I would get the same fast results. So I began yelling at her. One day, while she was pr
egnant, I struck her. I forced her to go to services with me, and that’s how my problems were found out. I appeared before the community. I confessed everything and repented. I don’t want to be that way! Hannah and Eleanor don’t deserve it.

  “I had a hard time, sometimes. I hit Hannah again. Then I began to realize that I would lose everything. So I decided I wasn’t going to allow Zeb to influence me anymore. Then, I realized that he was or may still be a monster inside me. I would hear his voice, telling me to hurt Hannah. My therapist made some suggestions to me. Suggestions I still use today. When I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to get control over my rage, I would tell Hannah with a note at the window so she knew what was happening. She had the option of taking the baby and leaving for a few days, until I was back in control. I have to thank Gott and our Peer Council for helping me so much. I only wish your community here had such a group. If Bishop Stone is successful in getting a group started, I hope you’ll help him.”

  Emily cried. She was aware of the difficulties her kinder experienced. And she bore a lot of anger toward Zeb for doing what he had done to them. “Abram, denki! What he did was bad. Real bad. He never let me work or make any kinds of big decisions—any decisions, really. I even had to defer to him on household decisions, if you can believe that! So now, I have no work skills that will help to support me now that I’m a widow. Bishop Stone’s wife and Ann Hoffstetter are going to help me to figure out our finances and how to keep money coming in, with either quilting or baking.”

  Abram, overcome with grief for Emily, pulled her into his arms and gave her a long, tender embrace.

  “And I want you to be very mindful of your beautiful wife and daughter. You’re going to have more kinder. They deserve to be loved and raised in love, not anger.”

  “Ya, I know.” Abram paused, his voice not quite in control. Swallowing, he regained control of his voice. “I know. I’m going to continue learning all I can so I give them that.”

  Finally, the Peace Valley group went back home. Several days later, Abram faced a strong test of his ability to control his emotions and reactions. In the hardware store, he waited to pay for his purchases. Hearing an all-too-familiar voice, he grimaced and looked for a shorter line. Finding one, he scooped up his purchases, hurrying over. Just as he was finished paying, he heard the Englisch man right behind him.

  “So! It’s the Amish man who abuses his wife! How many times have you hit her? Come on!”

  Grabbing the heavy bag, Abram ignored the abrasive man. He hurried out and clambered into his wagon. As he flicked the reins on his horses’ backs, he felt a heavy hand gripping his ankle. “Excuse me. Let go of my leg!”

  “No! I wanna find out if you’ve hit your wife again. Inquiring minds and all that. Ya know?” The obnoxious man leg out a raucous laugh.

  Abram inhaled, trying to keep a grip on his temper, but it was getting harder.

  “Excuse me! But what do you think you’re doing, harassing my friend?”

  Abram closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. It was Eli, followed closely by Deacon King. “Let go of my leg. Now!”

  Still, the rude man held on. “Hey, come on! Do you know if he’s beating his poor wife? If so, he needs to be in jail.”

  Eli looked him up and down. “Like you were?”

  The man froze and glared at Eli. “We weren’t talking about me! We’re talking about him!”

  “I strongly suggest you worry about matters in your own house and leave our friend here alone.” Deacon King’s voice was deceptively mild.

  Abram, hearing the lazy tone in Hannes’ voice, bit the inside of his cheek. From being angered, he now wanted to guffaw.

  “Abram, would you mind dropping us off right around the corner?” Deacon King and Eli vaulted into the wagon. “Go ahead, take off.”

  Abram, not one to question an elder, did just that. The horses took off at a fast canter, forcing the Englisch man to trot along to keep up. Quickly, his fingers lost their grip on Abram’s ankle. Abram turned right at the deacon’s direction and, seeing the older man’s wagon, pulled up alongside it.

  “Hurry. We’ll follow you. Go, now.” Eli waved his arm in the air.

  Again, Abram obeyed. On his way home, he found himself thinking extensively about the kindness of his friends. That made it much easier for him to calm down where, if this had happened before, he would have had trouble finding any good in the situation. He would also have been much angrier and unable to calm down. Now, he found himself saying a silent prayer of thanksgiving. Looking back, he saw Eli and the deacon riding behind him.

  In his barn, he quickly unhitched his team and checked their hooves. “You two need new shoes before too long. How about this Saturday? I have no clients waiting for me that day.”

  “Abram! How are you?” Eli was genuinely worried after the encounter Abram had experienced.

  “I’m gut, denki. Today was the first day I was able to focus on the gut of a situation rather than just the bad.” Abram was stunned that he had reached this point.

  Eli walked up to him and looked closely into Abram’s eyes. “You’re calm. Let me check your shoulder muscles.” He prodded and moved his hands along Abram’s shoulders. “Hmmm. Not bunched up. That’s gut! What were you thinking of after that encounter?”

  “I was thanking Gott for the kindness of my friends. That made it so easy for me to get calm from the upset that I was feeling. And I was able to stay calm, especially when I saw that it was you behind me and not that man.”

  “Do you feel able to stay at home with Hannah tonight? Without the risk of a blow up or beating?”

  Abram checked his emotions again. “Ya. I do. Even the thought of a fretful, teething baby doesn’t bother me.”

  “Oh, she’s teething!” Eli’s eyes widened. “I need to tell Leora and Jethro. She’s expecting their first!”

  Abram’s jaw dropped in happiness. “Really? Please give them my heartfelt congratulations!”

  That night, Abram was inwardly thankful that the combination of Gott, the deacon and Eli had been able to assist him in keeping control of his temper. “Hannah, I’m thanking Gott right now.”

  Hannah looked up with a smile. “Why? What happened?” She sat Eleanor up so she could see her daed.

  The baby flapped her arms and cooed, feeling momentary relief from her teething pain.

  Abram took the baby’s fingers in his and allowed her to move his fingers up, down and around. “I had another encounter with that rude person about when I beat you. I think Eli knows him, because he asked...let me start from the beginning.”

  Chapter 8

  “I was buying work supplies at the hardware store. I had just finished paying when that man came up and asked me if I’d beaten you lately. I did everything I could to stay calm.”—He turned to coo at the baby—“Ya, Eleanor, those are fingers!” And then he continued, “And I just told him to leave me alone. Hurried out with my stuff and jumped into my wagon. I was about to take off when he grabbed my leg. I wasn’t too sure of my ability to stay calm by then.

  “Deacon King and Eli hurried out and told him to leave me alone. He wouldn’t and asked the question again. I think Eli knows this man because after the man said I belonged in jail, Eli just asked him, ‘Like you?’ Well, that stopped him. Eli and Deacon King jumped into my wagon so I could take them to the deacon’s wagon and he—the deacon—told me to take off. Well, that forced the man to run alongside my wagon. If he didn’t want to go under the wheels, he had to let go of my leg. I dropped Eli and Deacon King at his wagon, they jumped off and I took off. They followed me here and Eli checked my emotions and reactions. If I had been unable to get them under control, I would have had to send you to your parents yet again.”

  Hannah lowered her head and rested her cheek lightly on the top of Eleanor’s head. “Thank Gott for their presence! Because I want to stay here with you. We belong here, with you. You know, I couldn’t even tell that you had been upset earlier.”

  �
�Upset. That’s a gut word for it. I wasn’t mad or even enraged. I was just...my feathers were ruffled, as if I were a bird.”

  Wrinkling her tiny face, Eleanor began to cry piteously. The corners of her mouth turned down and her lower lip pooched out, forming the perfect pout.

  “Is she teething? In pain?”

  “Ya. Would you get the teething gel? It’s on the kitchen counter, please.”

  Abram hurried into the kitchen and found the tiny tube of gel. Washing his hands, he came back out with a paper napkin in one hand. Twisting the tube off, he squirted a tiny amount of the numbing gel onto his forefinger, then gently stuck his finger onto Eleanor’s upper and lower gums. “Open, little one! You’ll feel better soon.” Removing his finger, he chuckled at the face the baby made.

  Eleanor, not liking the taste of the gel, closed her eyes, frowned and shook her head. But her crying stopped and she stuck a hand in her mouth so she could bite down.

  Hannah, not wanting her to get too used to the idea of fingers in her mouth, only allowed her to chew for a few minutes. Soon, she substituted the wet hand, replacing it with a cooled teething ring. The baby happily gripped the ring and chewed to her heart’s content.

  A FEW WEEKS LATER, Hannah answered the door, seeing Wayne Lapp standing on the opposite side of the door. “Wayne! How are you?”

  Wayne smiled. “Gut, denki. I was wondering how Abram is doing.”

  “Come in. He’s just sitting down to study.”

  “Study, huh? If he has time, I’d love to compare notes with him.”

  Abram, hearing Wayne’s voice, came into the living room. “Wayne! Come in! Coffee? It’s finally cooling down a tad bit.”

  “That would be wunderbaar, denki. So, what are you studying?”

  “Right now, how abusers try to fool those around them.”

  “Ach, I could have written the chapter on that! Let’s see what you have.” Wayne and Abram began reading the chapter together, discussing different passages as they did so.