by Wiley, John
“Aw, was that your first time not at some college dive bar,” asks Adele, laughing.
“I guess,” he shrugs.
“Well, since it’s Friday, we are going to a dive bar, if you want to come.”
“Why do you go to them on Friday?”
“It’s the weekend and we can get sloppy drunk if we want. You don’t want to embarrass yourself in a nice place by getting completely wasted.”
“Ha, that’s a good point, but I don’t know.” He looks to the ceiling in thought.
“What?” asks Adele.
“Rhys and I have this tradition of watching old TGIF shows on DVD and playing drinking games with them every Friday.”
“You’re not in college anymore, Erick. I think it’s time to expand your horizons.”
Erick shrugs.
“It sounds to me like this Rhys is trying to hold you back by not letting you socialize with your new friends. He also sounds like the type of person that needs a crane to remove a wall from your house whenever he goes anywhere since all of his plans involve pizza, TV, and beer.”
Erick raises his eyebrows and tut’s at Adele. “That’s not fair, you don’t know him.”
She raises her hands up, “I’m just responding to how you describe him.”
“Well, he’s actually a very average weight, and just because he likes to relax at night doesn’t make him a lazy person.”
“Well, I’m sorry.” She turns and starts walking back to her desk. “You girls have fun tonight.”
Erick sighs. “Wait. Just because I’m defending my friend doesn’t mean my answer to you is a no.”
She spins on her heel and smiles at Erick. “Oh?”
“I would love to get sloppy drunk with you.”
“Excellent,” she winks at him and goes back to her desk.
***
That afternoon Rhys is laying on his back in bed reading Confessions of a Shopaholic and listening to Paramore Radio on Pandora when his phone vibrates by his head. The vibration startles him and he drops the hardback book on his face. “Ow!” he says, rubbing the spot between his nose and eye where the book landed. He walks across his small room to the mirror on the wall next to his open window. He examines his face as the wind musses his hair.
After determining that the book probably hasn’t caused any permanent damage he goes back to his unmade bed to read the text on his phone. He opens it and sighs, throwing his phone on his bed beside him. He walks back to the mirror and looks at himself again. “How do you go about making friends once you’re out of school?” he asks himself.
“You put yourself out there and keep introducing yourself to new people until you make some friends,” says a voice.
Rhys takes a step back and gives the mirror an inquisitive look. “Magic mirror?” he asks. “Did my wish finally come true of becoming a Disney Princess? Is true love on its way? Ugh, but of course I’d be Snow fucking White, the most boring of all Disney Princesses with the worst Prince. You know Mirror, he doesn’t even have a name? Why couldn’t I get a prince like Phillip of Flynn Rider?”
“Um, it’s actually me, Gene” says a voice from outside. Rhys looks outside and sees the homeless man standing in his window.
“Gene? I didn’t know that was your name,” says Rhys.
Gene shrugs.
“Wanna come in? You really don’t need to stay outside.”
Gene shakes his head. “Just put yourself out there. If you don’t do anything to change your life, it will always be this way.”
“But I just moved across the country to change it. I didn’t expect it to result in the loss of my best friend.”
“You moved across the country to change it, so change it. So far all you’ve accomplished is a location change, right? You haven’t actually changed anything else.”
Rhys bites his lip in thought. “I guess you’re right.”
“So go meet some new people and live your life without Erick for a while, and hopefully you two will come back together.”
“Thanks Homeless Man, you’re really smart. You should talk more.”
Gene shrugs and walks off down the stairs.
Rhys picks his phone up from his bed and texts Jennifer.
Rhys: Hey, what are you up to tonight? Wanna go out?
Jennifer: Sounds good! Where? X
Rhys: Dunno…you know the city better than me
Jennifer: Can Cindy and Chloe come 2? X
Rhys: I’ll invite them
Jennifer: K I’ll text u later with the plan x
***
Joey and Jeremy sit cross-legged on the floor of the living room in front of the TV, each holding a video game controller and jerking it side to side and laughing. “Stop throwing those damn turtle shells at me!” yells Jeremy.
Joey shrugs. “It’s what you get for being Peach; everyone knows women can’t drive as well as mushrooms.”
Just then the door opens and Tiffany and Cheryl come in; their arms full of shopping bags. “What are you guys doing?” asks Tiffany, stepping over the cord and blocking the TV, causing Jeremy to pause it.
“Playing Mario Kart,” he says, resuming the game.
“Ohh, I used to love that!” Tiffany tosses her bags on the dining room table and then runs next to Joey and kneels beside him. “I call winner!”
Joey’s phone rings in his pocket; he pulls it out and looks at the display. “Here,” he hands the controller to Tiffany, giving Jeremy an opportunity to hit Toad with a turtle shell. Joey runs across the kitchen and goes on the back porch before answering. “Hello?”
“May I speak with Joey Spencer please?” asks a woman with a cool voice.
“This is Joey.”
“Hi Joey, it’s Madeline, from the Art Institute. How are you?”
“Oh, I’m good, how are you?”
“Fine, thanks. I realize I’m calling sooner than I said to expect.”
“Oh that’s fine.”
“I would like to offer the instructor
job to you, if you’re still interested.”
“Oh definitely!”
“Excellent. Well, you’ll start on Monday, so just come to the lobby at 9am and we’ll show you around. For your first week you may wear jeans, and you’ll be working from 9 to 1. Starting next week when classes begin you’ll work 8 to 4:30 most days with a few split shifts, but we’ll get into all of that next week.”
“Thank you so much!”
“No, thank you,” says Madeline. “Have a good weekend, I’ll see you Monday.”
“Thanks, you too!”
He leans against the railing and smiles a goofy grin. He dials Rhys on the phone and puts the phone to his ear; it goes straight to voicemail.
“Hey, it’s Rhys. I can’t get to the phone right now, but leave a message and I’ll call you back.”
BEEP
“Hey Rhys, it’s Joey. Just wanted to call you and say that I got the job at the Art Institute and I’ll be working with the love of your life every day! Call me back!” He ends the call and runs inside where Tiffany and Cheryl are now racing each other. “Guess what!”
“What?” asks Cheryl distractedly.
“I got the job!”
“Oh baby!” She jumps up, dropping to controller (and giving Tiffany an opportunity to lap her) and runs to Joey and jumps in his arms, giving him a big hug. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks!” He gives her a quick kiss on the lips. “I’m going to go call mom and dad and tell them the news.”
“Tell them I say hi,” says Jeremy, taking over Cheryl’s game.
“Ass! It’s my turn!” Cheryl yells as she runs back to the game.
“You abandoned poor Bowser in the middle of a race track, you deserve to lose guardianship of him,” Joey hears Jeremy say as he goes back to the back porch.
***
“So where are you taking us?” Cindy asks once she’s buckled in the back of Jennifer’s car.
“Brady’s.”
“I’
ve never heard of it,” says Chloe.
“Me either,” says Rhys.
“But you haven’t heard of any place out here,” says Jennifer. “You just moved here.”
“Right…it was a joke,” says Rhys.
“I bet it’s lame,” says Cindy.
“Well, where would you take us then?” asks Jennifer.
“Drunk in Greek, some bar in Franklin Township,” says Cindy matter-of-factly.
“Where’s that?” asks Rhys.
“A real small town about a half hour away.”
“They have a really cool used book store there,” says Chloe.
“Yeah, and they also have strip clubs,” says Jennifer in a judgmental tone.
“If you can’t go anywhere that has a strip club you’re in the wrong city,” says Cindy.
“Sorry,” says Jennifer. She pulls out of the parking lot and drives in silence.
“You need to apologize,” Chloe whispers to Cindy in the backseat.
“I can’t help it if she doesn’t appreciate my sarcastic sense of humor.”
“What you said wasn’t funny though,” says Jennifer.
“You can hear us?” asks Chloe.
“This isn’t a sitcom,” says Rhys. “We can hear more than two feet away.”
“That does always crack me up,” says Jennifer. “People never hear what others are saying on sitcoms when the conversation is a foot away.”
“I know! Just because the camera isn’t on them doesn’t mean they’re in a different room!” laughs Cindy. She sighs and then adds, “Sorry for being borderline rude.”
“Thanks,” says Jennifer.
***
“Sorry, guys, we’re at capacity,” says the bouncer at Brady’s.
“We can wait,” says Jennifer. “They really do make the best Smurf piss shots I’ve ever had,” she says to her friends.
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” says the bouncer. “We have two bachelorette parties here tonight; if you wait for them to leave you’ll be going home sober.”
“Well, what should we do then?” asks Jennifer.
“Drunk in Greek, obviously,” says Cindy.
“But it’s a half hour drive,” says Rhys.
“Well we are over half way there now,” says Chloe. “And it is a decent bar.”
“And cheap,” says Cindy. “It’s in a small town that people don’t usually go to, so their prices are lower.”
“You should have said that in the first place,” says Jennifer, already walking to her car.
***
“- and then I said ‘hey, that’s my ear! Can you believe it?’,” Erick says to the small group of work colleagues, and they all burst into laughter.
“Do you want to dance?” asks Adele when a rock version of “Time After Time” comes on the satellite radio.
“Sure,” he shrugs. He grabs her hand and leads her to the small raised dance floor behind the bar.
“I do want to apologize,” Adele says, leaning into his ear.
“What for?”
“If I said anything rude about your friend. I just…I can’t believe I’m saying this…I like you, and I wanted to spend time with you. I’m sure Rhys is a really nice guy.”
“Thanks,” says Erick. “He really is one of the nicest people.” After about a minute of Erick’s bad white-guy dancing he leans his mouth closer to Adele’s ear. “Anyway, I’m glad you convinced me to go out tonight...I like you too.”
Adele smiles at him but stops when Erick’s face falls. “What’s wrong?”
“Rhys is here.”
***
Jennifer pulls the car into a spot across the street from the bar. The sign has a bunch of Greek letters on it; the only indication that it’s a bar is the neon ‘bar’ sign in the window.
“What’s that say?” asks Rhys as they cross the street.
“No one seems to know for sure,” says Cindy. “Legend has it that that’s the word ‘drunk’ in Greek. But of course no one can pronounce it, or even know if it’s true or not, so everyone just calls it Drunk in Greek.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s right,” says Jennifer, looking up at the sign as they near the sidewalk in front of the bar.
“You know Greek?” asks Chloe.
“Yeah, kind of. I have a master’s degree in classical civilization, so I learned some Greek, Latin, and Italian. Greek’s the language I’m worst at though,” she says.
“I didn’t know you were so smart,” says Cindy.
“Thanks,” Jennifer replies coldly.
“I didn’t mean that bad, it’s just that with your mom so – “
“Just stop Cindy,” says Chloe. “Just stop while you’re behind.”
When the girls get to the door they realize Rhys isn’t with them. “Rhys?” asks Chloe, turning toward the road, looking for him. He’s at the edge of the sidewalk looking down the street.
“What is it?” asks Jennifer.
He points at the last parking spot where the Mover and Groover moving truck is. “Erick’s here.”
“Cool,” says Jennifer, hurrying to the door.
“What’s wrong?” asks Chloe as they wait in the short line to get their ID’s checked.
“I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw him for more than a second, or had a conversation that wasn’t done over text.
“Oh, right. So you’re afraid it might be kind of awkward?”
“Especially if he’s with the people he’s been ditching me for.”
“Well, just don’t let him spoil your night.” They get in line behind Cindy and Jennifer; a minute later they’re in the bar and up on the dance floor is Erick.
“Erick! Hey!” yells Jennifer as she runs across the club.
“C’mon, let’s go get a drink,” says Chloe, laughing at Jennifer running full speed to Erick.
***
“Why don’t you want to see him?” Adele asks Erick as the song changes to a punk version of “Umbrella”.
“I feel like I’ve ditched him so much lately that I hate for him to see me out with you guys. I don’t want him to know that I have more fun with people that aren’t him. Oh shit.”
“What?” asks Adele.
He motions to Jennifer, running full speed across the club to him.
“Erick! Oh my goodness, I’m so excited to see you!” she wraps her arms tightly around him; he pats her back quickly in hopes of ending the hug sooner rather than later. “What are you doing here?” she asks, taking a step back.
“Some work friends invited me out tonight.” He looks at Adele next to him. “Adele, this is my neighbor Jennifer; Jennifer, this is Adele.”
“Nice to meet you,” says Jennifer, holding her hand out to Adele.
Adele forces a tight smile and turns her back to Jennifer. “We better get back to the table,” she says to Erick. She grabs his arm and leads him across the bar to a booth.
“See ya,” he says to Jennifer as he’s dragged away.
“Uh, bye,” says Jennifer, turning her outstretched hand into a wave.
“So what are you drinking?” Rhys asks Jennifer, walking up to her with a beer in his hand. “Cindy’s over there ordering; first round’s on her.”
“Hmm?” she says, still distracted by her encounter with Erick.
“What do you want to drink? Hurry and tell Cindy before you miss out on her generosity; I have a feeling it doesn’t happen very often.”
“Oh, right,” Jennifer says. She runs off to the bar, leaving Rhys in the middle of the empty dance floor. As the current song ends, the lights suddenly go out. The only light is coming from the exit signs and the neon signs advertising beer, which admittedly gives off a lot of light. A thumping begins to pound from the speakers as house music begins to fill the bar.
“OK everybody, it’s Friday night, that means it’s the Drunk in Greek Dance Party!” yells the DJ. Strobe lights begin to flash as the music picks up and the other lights come back on. Still alone on the dance floor, Rhys turns
and sees the girls sitting at a bar table, waiting for him.
“Some dance party, eh?” he says as he takes a seat next to Jennifer.
“We are here incredibly early,” says Chloe, looking at her cell phone; “It’s just now eleven.”
“God, we’re lame,” says Rhys. “I didn’t realize it was so early. In college we’d be pre-gaming until at least midnight before going out.”
“Well we’re here now, so might as well make the most of it,” says Cindy. She downs the shot sitting in front of her, grabs her beer, and goes out to the still empty dance floor where she proceeds to do the sexiest dancing she can while still mostly sober.
“Yeah!” yells Jennifer. She hops off of the tall chair and runs out to Cindy and starts dancing up on her.
“Well that’s not going to get Erick to fall for her,” Rhys says to Chloe.
“What? Two girls dancing all up on each other?”
“Oh yeah, straight guys do like that, don’t they?”
“They’re not the only ones.” Chloe does her shot and makes her way to the dance floor as well.
Rhys looks around and realizes he’s alone again. “Well shit, it looks like I’m going to have to go dance with some lesbians.” He swallows the shot that Cindy bought him and joins the girls in their group dance as a “Sneakernight” remix comes on.
***
“How embarrassing for them,” says Adele as she sips from her cup.
“Why’s that?” asks Erick.
“Look at them; out there alone on the dance floor, making fools of themselves.”
“They’re just having fun.”
Adele raises her hands in surrender. “I’m just saying I wouldn’t be caught dead being the only one dancing,” she says. “I thought you wanted to hang out with me, but if you’d rather dance with them then go ahead – I won’t stop you.”
Erick sighs and finishes his beer. “You do that a lot you know?”
“What?”
“Say something incredibly rude about my best friend and then act like it’s my fault when I stand up for him. We’re all each other has out here.”