by Lexi Blake
Dev looked earnest, like he expected me to understand. “The wolves are going with you, but Daniel and I must remain here. We must avenge our son, sweetheart. They took our child. We can’t allow it to stand.”
Any joy I had felt was snuffed out like a candle. “I don’t have a say in this?”
Dev swallowed nervously, trying to figure out a way to handle me. “Zoey, don’t you want revenge?”
I lay back, tired again. “Revenge won’t bring back my baby. It will just get you killed. Why would I want that? Why can’t we just go home and try to put our lives back together? I just lost a baby, Dev. You’re going to leave my care to my bodyguards?”
I loved Neil and Lee, but they weren’t married to me. They hadn’t made a baby with me. They hadn’t lost what Dev and Danny and I had.
“You can’t expect me to just walk away.”
“But that’s what I’m asking you to do,” I replied simply because if there was ever a time when what I wanted should come first, I thought this was it. “Take me home, Devinshea.”
He stood up. “No, I can’t do that. I’ll make sure you’re safe, but I can’t leave until those who did this have paid for their crime. I owe this to our son. Come on, Daniel. We’re needed in the throne room. We have planning to do. The call has already gone out for the warriors of the sidhe to gather. They’ll be here within the week.”
Dev had turned his back and was halfway out of the room when I heard Daniel say “No.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Dev asked, rounding on him.
Daniel frowned, shaking his head as he looked at Dev. “I can’t go with you. I’m going home with Z.”
Dev’s eyes got wide as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You can’t mean that. Daniel, you can turn the tide of this war. You could be the deciding factor in whether we win or not.”
“I’m not sure this is a war I want to be involved in, Devinshea,” Daniel admitted, trying to make him understand. “Things don’t add up. It doesn’t make sense. If you were being rational, you would see it. Beyond that, we have to worry about our wife. She’s been through so much. She’s hurting. If she wants to go home then we should take her home.”
“And our son? What about him?” The question dropped like a land mine between them.
Daniel shook his head wearily. “Dev, she’d been pregnant for a couple of days, man. It just doesn’t seem real to me. I’m sorry, but I’m much more concerned with Z than some baby who didn’t seem real to me yet. You’re safe. Z’s alive. I have to be satisfied with that. The two of you, you’re real to me.”
Dev eyes narrowed and every muscle in his body went tense. “You never thought of him as yours.”
“Man, I never had time to think of him as mine,” Daniel shot back, frustrated at the whole situation. “I’ve had less than a week to digest this. I know all of your life this has been a goal of yours because your culture expected it, but I was raised a human. I’m just a guy. It’s not real to us until someone puts a screaming baby in our hands and tells us to take care of him.”
Dev shook his head like he couldn’t believe him. “You never wanted a baby.”
“That is not true,” Daniel replied, getting angry himself now. “I’m just not willing to risk the people I love for a revenge I’m not even sure is justified. You want me to basically commit genocide on the word of one man, one man who might or might not have been under a spell. Your brother made sure we couldn’t figure out the truth. Give me concrete evidence and the names of the conspirators and I’ll take them out for you. You can’t take out an entire people for the actions of a few.”
Dev’s whole face fell, his skin going pale like a man who just lost his footing and worried about ever getting it back again. “After everything I have done for you, this is how you treat me? I have devoted my life to your cause. I have fought beside you. I have done everything I possibly could to ensure you get what you want.”
“It’s not the same thing,” Danny insisted, his voice even as he walked up to Dev. He was being careful. He reached out to his partner to put his hand on his shoulders. “Just listen to me…”
Dev brought his hands up, shoving Daniel’s away from him. Daniel took a shocked step back. “No, it’s not the same because this is something I need. This isn’t about you so it doesn’t fucking matter, does it, Daniel? I can pour myself into your fight. I can fucking bankroll the entire enterprise. I can provide for all of us, but the minute I need you it’s not the same.”
Daniel’s relaxed stance turned hard, his eyes tightening. “I have money, too.”
“You have chump change, Daniel,” Dev replied. “You have whatever crumbs Marini sends your way in exchange for slaughtering whoever he wants you to. You’ll be the Council’s executioner, but you won’t spare a minute for my son. Well, if I need to pony up some cash, I can do that. How much will it take to get the Nex Apparatus to spare me a moment of his time?”
“Fuck you,” Daniel spat. Dev always knew just where to stick the knife in. It was a talent of his.
“Come on, Dan,” Dev continued recklessly. “Give me a figure. How much to kill someone? You need a million? I’ll get the cash. I am asking you to fight in a war, though. I’m sure that’s a premium service. How about twenty million? Would that satisfy you?”
I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight. I didn’t want to listen to them tear each other apart.
I heard a thump and didn’t have to open my eyes to know Dev was on the floor. I did it anyway because I knew for a fact that he would never stay there. Sure enough, Dev was up and pushing against Daniel.
“How long were you going to use me?” Dev snarled as he punched Daniel in the gut. It didn’t matter. Daniel didn’t even grunt. “Were you going to wait until after you took over the Council to get rid of me? Would the baby have been an inconvenient reminder of the fact that you needed me once? That you wanted me once? The great Daniel Donovan can’t put up with the fact that he’s just a man, can he?”
All of the fight went out of Daniel and he just took what Dev was giving him. Dev punched and kicked and didn’t fight fair and Daniel just silently took it. It incensed Dev even more that Daniel wouldn’t fight back.
Daniel had been pushed to the wall by the time Dev pulled back. “I’m not even worth fighting, am I?”
“I don’t want to fight you, Dev,” Daniel said quietly, his blue eyes serious as he regarded his friend. “I don’t want to hurt you. You’re hurting enough already. And you’re wrong about why I don’t want to fight. It has nothing to do with that. Can we talk about this? Just come to bed with us. We need to rest and figure out what to do together, you and me and Z. We’ll work it out. Please. We’ll hold our wife and we’ll discuss what to do as a family.”
For a moment, Dev looked like he would give in. He stared at me and there was a slight softening.
“Devinshea, we need you,” a quiet voice asked from the doorway. Declan stood there, his face serious, and I knew he’d watched the fight. “Padric is ready to begin the meeting and Mother wants you there.”
Daniel reached out and put his hand on Dev’s arm. His voice was pleading. “Please, Dev. Stay with us. We’re your family. You belong with us.”
Dev turned, and their intimacy was lost. “I am coming,” he said to his brother. He turned to me but made no move to get closer than the end of the bed where we’d made love that first morning here. “I am sure Daniel will take care of you in my absence. I will join you at home when I am finished, if I am still wanted, of course.”
He seemed to want me to say something but I didn’t. If he wanted to leave then I wasn’t going to stop him.
He finally walked to his brother and as they left, I saw Declan put his arm around Dev’s shoulder. “I will fight at your side,” he promised quietly.
The door closed behind them and Daniel and I were alone.
Daniel looked weary as he sat on the bed and took off his boots. He pushed his jeans off his hips and pulled his
shirt over his head. He climbed into bed next to me and pulled me into his arms.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered. “If you want to go home, I’ll take you but I’ve got to come back. I have to make sure he doesn’t kill himself.”
“All right.” It didn’t matter to me. I just wanted to go back to sleep. I didn’t have to think about it when I was asleep. Despite the fact that I hadn’t been out of bed in days, I was so tired. A deep weariness had settled into my bones.
“Zoey,” Daniel started tentatively. He turned me on my back and looked deeply into my eyes. “Did we make a mistake?”
I didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. He would have worked out the prophecy and known that it had spoken of Summer. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I think she’s probably safer where she is than she would have been with us. We weren’t even together then, Danny.”
“Maybe we would have been if we’d kept her,” he said, voicing all those useless questions.
“We weren’t ready for a baby, Danny.” If we’d gotten together for Summer, I wouldn’t have gone back to Dev. I would have put him out of my mind. It was likely Daniel would never have daywalked and we would have been forced to remain our whole lives under Marini’s thumb with no way out. Our daughter would have been just another tool in Marini’s bag.
“If she’s ours…god, Z, I want her back.” His arms tightened around me. “She’s the only child I can ever have. I’ll love any kids you and Dev have, I will, but…I need to know that she’s okay. She’s out there, and I don’t know if she’s loved, if she’s being taken care of. Anything could happen to her. I have to find her. When all this crap is done, I have to find her.”
I nodded because it seemed the most expedient way to get him to stop talking. “Could you close the curtains?”
Daniel did as I asked, drawing the heavy curtains closed and shutting out the world. I lay back as he pulled me against him once more, not fighting him but not exactly returning the embrace. I just let him do what he wanted and was grateful when sleep took me once again.
Chapter Twenty
Daniel stayed in bed with me for a couple of days as the two factions in the palace prepared for their separate journeys. Our group organized for the long trip home and the Seelies prepped for war. Every day I heard more and more warriors had arrived. In another week, they would march toward the door that led to the land separating the blessed court from the dark court. It was on that long field that the war would play out. Word had come from King Angus that when the Seelies came for war, he would meet them with swords drawn.
I could tell from his tone and the look on his face that Daniel was worried about me, but I couldn’t seem to muster up the energy to do anything about it. I was trapped in a dark, selfish place and I didn’t want to leave it. When Daniel left my side, it was to consult with Albert or Lee. He was never gone for long but Dev always heard of the absence and managed to make his way to our bed. He didn’t talk about the fight with Daniel. He didn’t mention the plans for war. He asked me to eat and get out of bed. When I did neither, he kissed my forehead and left as quickly as he’d come.
I thought it was Dev when Daniel left the afternoon before we were to return home. Everything had been packed and we were set to leave that night. I wasn’t looking forward to walking all that way but I also didn’t want to ride a horse for so long. I couldn’t ask Danny to fly because he looked as tired as I felt. I’d offered to feed him but he was worried I wasn’t up to it yet and I hadn’t wanted to fight. I thought he was hoping getting me home would fix me. I wasn’t so sure about that.
I was in bed when I heard someone moving in the room. It had to be Dev and I closed my eyes, hoping to avoid a long, drawn-out good-bye. If he didn’t want to come with us, then I wasn’t going to beg him. He was leaving me at the moment I needed him most.
The curtains came open with a swift pull and I opened my eyes, surprised by the move. When he came to see me, Dev crept into bed, unwilling to frighten me or disturb me with too much noise. The person opening the curtains had no such qualms. I was surprised to see Sarah’s husband frowning down on me. I sighed because Felix was the one person who hadn’t given me a lecture on how I would see the freaking good in life again one day. I should have expected it, though. The man used to be an actual guardian angel. Blowing sunshine up people’s asses was part of their job description.
“Hello, Felix,” I said with a sad sigh. I contemplated the easiest way to get rid of him.
“Not exactly,” a voice that sounded like Felix’s, only gruffer, said.
I sat up because that was not Felix looking down at me with judgmental eyes. “Who are you? What did you do with Felix?”
Whatever was in Felix crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head down at me. “I can’t manifest on this plane. It’s embarrassing, but I don’t know how to do it. Felix graciously offered to host me. I shouldn’t be here at all, but you’re leaving me with no choice. I would never have signed up for this gig if I knew it included being your life coach.”
“Oliver?” I asked with the first emotion I’d been able to muster in days. Oliver Day was Felix’s “brother.” He was one of a group of three angels who balanced each other and watched over their charges. I’d been told Oliver, who was kind of an asshole, was my guardian angel.
“In the flesh,” he agreed. “Well, in Felix’s flesh anyway. What the hell do you think you’re doing, Zoey?”
“Should angels curse?” I’d never once heard Felix do it. I hadn’t heard their sister, Felicity, curse either. Only Oliver seemed to have gotten a potty mouth along with his halo.
“I get special dispensation because no one could deal with your crap and not drop the occasional f-bomb. I’ll ask again. What are you doing, Zoey?”
“What is that supposed to mean? I’m resting, Oliver. I’ve had a hard couple of days,” I shot back bitterly. I didn’t need a guilt trip. Now that I thought about it, I didn’t want to talk to Oliver Day. He was supposed to watch over me. He hadn’t done a good job.
“Yes, Zoey, blame me for everything,” he said, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t one of those cuddly guardian angels who soothed you and made you feel good. “I don’t have to be able to read your mind to know what you’re thinking. You’re blaming me and everyone else for how miserable you are.” He sat down on the side of the bed. “Most of all, you’re blaming yourself. Give it up, sister. It wasn’t your fault and it sure as hell isn’t mine. Shit happens. We deal with it.”
“He was my son,” I said, biting off a cry. I pushed at him because I didn’t want him anywhere close to me.
“And he will be again.” Oliver held my hands in his and forced me to look at him. For the first time since meeting him, he had something akin to compassion in his eyes. “Zoey, that small spirit was a gift. He was a unique creation—a brand new soul. The boss doesn’t give those out to just anyone. It didn’t work out this time, but that doesn’t mean he’s gone forever. That’s not the way the universe works.”
“I don’t understand.” And I wanted to. I needed to understand this because nothing made sense.
A small smile crossed his lips. “Would it work if I told you you’re not supposed to?”
I frowned.
“Fine.” He sighed as though he hadn’t really thought his ploy would work. He sought the words to explain it to me. “Normally when something like this goes wrong, the soul finds another vessel, one that’s ready. I don’t know why these things happen. That’s beyond my pay grade. I only know that there is a reason. As I said, usually another vessel would be selected but Rhys prefers to wait.”
“Rhys?” I asked, but I felt a smile spreading across my face. Rhys was a perfect name.
“I probably wasn’t supposed to tell you that,” Oliver allowed with a shrug. “That’s his name. He was allowed a choice and prefers it this way. He would rather wait for his brother.”
My eyes went wide. “His brother?”
Oliver smiled slyly. �
��Yes, Zoey, his brother. Did you think you could sleep with a fertility god and not have a couple of litters? Your firstborn children will be twin boys. But that ain’t happening if you stay in this bed feeling sorry for yourself. I know it’s not fair. You should probably be allowed to wallow in your grief like a normal person, but you’re not normal. You don’t have time. Things are moving faster than I thought they would. If you want those sons to have a chance a couple of years down the road, you need to get out of that bed.”
“How will that help anything, Oliver?” I was already tossing the covers aside. “Dev is set on his course. I could try to talk to him but he wouldn’t listen to me before and he wouldn’t listen to Daniel.”
Oliver rolled Felix’s eyes. “Do you ever pay attention? I sent you three women to tell you exactly what to do. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get on the washer women’s schedule? They’re busy and they charge out the ass for a rush job.”
I stopped, the truth settling in on me. “I have to find the Blood Stone.”
“She shoots, she scores,” Oliver said sarcastically. “Find the Blood Stone. It will lead you where you need to go.”
“Somehow the Blood Stone can stop the war?”
Oliver shook his head. “No, Zoey, you stop the war. The Blood Stone merely gets you into the place you need to be. Just find the stone. Have a little faith.”
I arched an eyebrow. “I thought that was Felix’s territory.”
When Felix had been an angel, he had represented faith. He had balanced Felicity’s love and Oliver’s justice.
“I have faith,” Oliver said with a shrug. “You met me at a bad time. Felix was gone. We have a new brother now. His name is Jude, and we have found our balance. I suppose I was rude the last time we met.”
“Rude? You nearly killed Danny.” He had unleashed some ultraviolet light that nearly burned my vampire up. It had taken everything I had to keep Daniel alive. It had not endeared the angel to me.