razorsedge

by Lisanne Norman

  Kaid stopped outside their door. “Is that electronic or organic bugs?” he asked with a grin.

  “Either!” she said, reaching a hand up to touch his cheek. “Good night, Kaid,” she said, then turned to open their door. As it slid back, she disappeared inside.

  “We had Tallis to contact tonight,” said Kusac, hovering for a moment longer. “You can see to him if you wish.”

  Kaid nodded. “From what Jeran said, he’s not a powerful telepath, but there’s no point in exposing him to your Link. Carrie said you got the passes. For Kaladar?”

  “No, only for Galrayin, I’m afraid. It’s the main lowland town, and its lord— Tarolyn— is Bradogan’s favorite. Killian’s agent is on his way inland with a caravan at present, and this was our best option. We can head out with the next shipment to Galrayin. At least it gets us legitimately halfway to the mountains.”

  “Better than waiting,” agreed Kaid. “See how you get on reaching Jo, then we can look at our options. Meanwhile, I’ll see to organizing the caravan and visiting Tesha. If I call in at the Haven first thing in the morning, I might be able to see her before she starts work.”

  “Can you manage all that on your own?” asked Kusac, looking from Kaid to T’Chebbi.

  The Sholan female grinned. “No problem. Better I go see Tesha, though. Kaid could fall asleep with all la’quo around!”

  “Huh!” said Kaid, throwing a slightly irritated look at her. “Not likely.”

  Kusac grinned. “I’ll leave it to you to sort out between you. We should be able to meet you tomorrow evening for third meal. Here, I think, given the presence of la’quo in everything Jalnian we eat or drink.”

  “In the mess, then,” said Kaid, moving off down the corridor.

  “Good night,” said Kusac.

  *

  Outside their room, T’Chebbi stopped, looking at Kaid. “If you prefer, I can use Humans’ room at night,” she said. “We got space for you to be alone now.”

  Kaid hesitated. They’d had to share quarters on the outward journey because of a lack of rooms, and at the inn as well, but now he had a choice. So did she. They still weren’t lovers and had only shared a bed a couple of times since they’d left Shola. “Your belongings are here,” he said.

  “Mostly at inn. Is not a problem.”

  “It’s up to you, T’Chebbi. It doesn’t bother me sharing the room. Where do you want to sleep?” he asked.

  She shrugged. “Is only that this is their Link day, and know it affects you, too. Don’t want you to feel I have to be in same room.”

  It did affect him, there was no point denying it. Just enough for him to want female company of his own during that time, and it wasn’t fair to T’Chebbi that she happened to be the one who was there.

  He palmed the door open. “How about we discuss this inside?” he asked, acutely aware they were standing in the corridor where any of the Sumaan crew could overhear them.

  “All right,” she agreed, preceding him into the room.

  He shut the door, thinking through what he wanted, what was right and fair for both of them as he took off his weapons and laid them on the chair. “Would you like to stay?” he asked. “Not because of their Link, not because of anything except that I want you to stay?”

  She looked up at him, tilting her head on one side. “You asking me to stay not because of them?”

  “Yes. Because of you.”

  “Stay as what?” she asked. “I stay to keep you company if you want.”

  “More. To share my bed,” he said, reaching out to touch her cheek.

  She moved to one side, letting his hand slide past her. “No.”

  He looked at her in surprise.

  “No,” she said again. “You keep shutting me up, Kaid. Not this time. I want you more than just occasionally.”

  He began to speak but she gestured him to silence.

  “I not shut up this time, Kaid,” she said firmly, walking over to her bed and sitting down on it. “Know you have Tallis to mind-speak, but deal with this first. Is distracting me, making my work more difficult. Need to know where I am with you.”

  If it was bothering her to that extent, the matter had to have an airing. They were both professional enough to know, and admit, their own limits. He had been putting her off— because he knew what she would ask, and he hadn’t been ready to answer her. There was no avoiding it any longer. “I’ll listen to you now, T’Chebbi,” he said, following her over.

  “Know you like me. Like you, too, but want more. Want you as my lover. Don’t want to change how we are, how often we’re together,” she continued. “Just want to know I matter enough to you, like you do to me.”

  “You do matter to me, T’Chebbi,” he said, aware that what she was asking of him was only fair. He’d done his best not to take advantage of her willingness to be with him when he needed her company, but it was an easy habit to fall into.

  “Know you need her, but I think you need me, too.”

  He could feel her distress at being so direct with him, but he knew she needed a measure of security from him. “I know,” he said quietly. “But I’m part of a Triad, I have a life-mate. You should find someone who can give you more than I can, T’Chebbi. You deserve it. Being only my lover wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  “That’s my decision, but you don’t ask me!” she said, ears going flat in distress as she looked down at her hands.

  He smiled wryly. “I’m rather good at doing that,” he admitted. He sat on the edge of his bed, facing her. Reaching out, he took her by the hand. “This really isn’t a good time to discuss it, T’Chebbi. Their Link makes it difficult for me to separate my needs from the Link we share.”

  “Is never good time with you,” she muttered, drawing her hand away from him. “Always you tell me, not now. Had enough not nows. What stopping you? Either you want me or you don’t.” Her voice cracked slightly then recovered. “Is easy, can’t see problem.”

  “It’s not easy. Easy is to say yes and not worry about the consequences.” He wanted her, but a commitment? As troubled as his thoughts had been lately, he’d given no time to thinking of her when obviously he should have.

  She looked up. “I would accept that. Not expecting guarantees. Don’t have to be your Companion.” She hesitated. “Unless you think I’m not good enough.”

  He caught her hand again. “Never that! I had no idea I meant so much to you,” he said, holding her gaze. He turned her hand so he could lick her palm again. “As my lover.”

  Her ears flicked up and round, flaring to catch his every word. “What?”

  “Be my lover, T’Chebbi,” he whispered. “I should have asked you long ago, but I thought you deserved more than just being a Companion.”

  Reaching out with her other hand, she grasped a handful of the longer fur on his jawline. “So stupid, you males. Is you I want, have always wanted,” she said quietly. “Right from time you came back for me so long ago. You think we need the show and the symbols of relationships when is only the person and their caring for you that matters to us.” She pulled him closer, hands cupping his face as they kissed. Then she pushed him away.

  “Now you mind-speak Tallis,” she purred. “While I get first shower!”

  “You conniving little she-jegget,” he said with a grin, watching her jump to her feet and skip off to the shower, shedding sword, pistol, and weapons belt as she went.

  She stopped to wave an admonishing finger at him. “Work, Kaid, then we play.” Her voice held a purr of sheer devilment and he wondered what he’d let himself in for.

  About time, came Carrie’s lazy thought through their private lesser link. You need each other, Kaid. And I need a bond-sister to help keep you two males in line!

  He laughed and T’Chebbi raised an eye ridge at him.

  “Carrie says she needs a bond-sister to help keep me and Kusac in line,” he explained.

  T’Chebbi nodded vigorously, grinning. “She’s right,” then ducked ou
t of sight, laughing as a pillow came sailing in her direction.

  Good to hear her laugh, sent Kusac. She’s someone very special, Kaid. You’re lucky to have her. May you both be very happy.

  Kaid leaned back on his bed as their contact faded, leaving only the small warmth of Carrie’s presence at the edges of his mind. Life as an En’Shalla telepath was very different from what he’d imagined, but one thing Carrie had taught him was that while he could rationalize as much as he wanted, ultimately it was his feelings he had to listen to.

  “Tallis!” T’Chebbi called from the bathing room.

  Sighing, he began to recite the litany of Relaxation, preparing himself for making contact with the telepath at Bradogan’s Keep.

  *

  Tallis, he sent, using the mental wavelength Carrie had discovered earlier. He reached for the Sholan’s unique mental pattern. Tallis!

  Faintly he heard a response. I am here.

  Are you alone? Is it safe to speak? he asked, strengthening the contact.

  It’s safe. Lord Bradogan has dismissed me for the night. But you’re not the one I heard earlier!

  I was there. Help is at hand, but you must wait for now. We have others to see to first.

  The others. Have you found them? Is Miroshi all right? I’ve heard nothing from her for so long!

  We’ve found two more, Jeran and Tesha, but not Miroshi. Do you know what became of her?

  She was so ill— never recovered from what the Valtegans did to us. The Lord couldn’t sell her, so he gave her to one of his males. It’s so good to hear another like myself. To have been trapped inside my own mind with silence for so long!

  The contact was fading again as Tallis began to lose his focus.

  Which one did Bradogan give her to? Kaid asked, once more feeding energy into Tallis’ sending. This was tiring him more than he’d thought, but then they’d all expected Tallis to be more powerful than he was. Obviously he was lying to Bradogan and it was just sheer luck he’d not yet been discovered.

  Which one? If I tell you, you’ll have no need of me, sent Tallis, his tone becoming sly. What of me? When will you take me away from this place? I won’t wait here while you pick the others up! My position is dangerous— at any time the Lord could discover I can’t read his visitors as well as I say I can!

  This one was going to be trouble, he just knew it. What could he say that would buy them some time by putting Tallis’ mind at rest? The sooner we find her, the sooner we can move all of you. We need to find out more about the Valtegans who brought you here.

  Why? They’re gone now. We’re the ones who need help! Your duty is to rescue us, return us to Szurtha!

  Kaid hesitated, then decided to tell him. Szurtha is gone, along with Khyaal. Everything living destroyed by those who took you prisoner.

  There was silence for the space of several heartbeats. Gone, all gone?

  Yes. We must find out more about them. What did they want with you? Why did they take you?

  All dead? My Clan— none left…

  His thoughts were breaking up, becoming unfocused and incoherent. There was no point in pursuing the conversation now, Kaid realized. It would take some time for him to come to terms with what had happened.

  Tallis! Leave the talisman off at night so I can contact you again. Tallis! It was no good, he’d gone.

  Sighing, Kaid gave up and let himself relax into an exhausted heap. A touch on his cheek made him jump. T’Chebbi was leaning over him. She sat back as he rubbed at his eyes.

  “You been asleep,” she said. “Did you mind-speak with Tallis?”

  “Yes, I spoke to him,” he said, yawning. “He’s going to cause trouble. He’s faking it— hardly capable of reading a report, let alone someone’s mind! He’s trying to get clever with us, refusing to tell me where Miroshi is unless we pull him out first.”

  “Can we?”

  “From the heart of Bradogan’s Keep? Not an option. We’re going to have to make sure he stays quiet, though. When he heard what had happened to his home, he broke contact. Hit him hard.”

  “Talk it over with Kusac in the morning,” she said. “You want to bathe or sleep? Looks like you need sleep more.”

  “I do,” he said, his eyes closing despite his efforts to keep them open. “It took a lot of energy because his sending was so weak.” He heard her getting up and reached out to stop her, looping an arm around her waist to pull her down beside him.

  “Tomorrow,” she said, letting him hold her close and bury his head against her shoulder. “We got plenty time, you and I.”

  Her pelt was still damp from the shower. “You smell nice.” He nuzzled his face lower. “Something I have to do first,” he mumbled, stifling another yawn. Then his jaws closed over her larynx, tightening slowly till she lifted her chin. He released her. “Just wanted to be sure,” he yawned again, arms tightening around her. “Damn that bloody Tallis! No right to disrupt our lives like this,” he mumbled as he drifted off to sleep.

  *

  “Captain’s looking for you,” said Mrowbay as Giyesh passed the sickbay door. “Didn’t expect you to stay out all night.”

  “That was silly of him,” she said, leaning against the doorpost. “By the way, can tell you Taynar’s not an immature male. They’re all built like that— until aroused.”

  “And I expect you did a fair job of arousing this Jeran,” said Tirak from behind her.

  She whirled round. “Captain! Didn’t expect you to be up so early.”

  “You took unnecessary risks, Giyesh,” he said, a rumble of anger underlining his displeasure. “Not only could you have been discovered, but he could have harmed you. We know very little about these Sholans.”

  “I bribed the guard, Captain, and Jeran— he’s been here so long! They’ve kept the four of them apart for months. He was desperate for the company of someone who looked like him.”

  “My office, now,” he said firmly, ears flicking in anger.

  Schooling ears and tail into positions of apology, she followed the captain across the corridor and through the air lock to his office.

  Sitting behind his desk, he regarded her. “I sent you to talk to the male, nothing more, Giyesh. Did you stop to think what would have happened if the guard had alerted the Port Controller? How we would have explained your presence with him? Too much hinges on what we’re doing here to have it risked by the actions of one female unable to control herself! I wasn’t joking when I said he could have harmed you. Just because these Sholans resemble us doesn’t make them any less alien than the Sumaan!”

  “Yes, Captain,” she said, hanging her head. “I’m sorry, Captain, but if you’d been there!” She raised her eyes and looked him straight in the face. “We all know you saw the one called Tesha. They have to be safe if you could sleep with her!”

  Tirak’s face took on a thunderous look. “You all know what?” he demanded. “I did nothing but speak to her. I told you all that, dammit! I can’t get that close to an alien!”

  She was confused. “But, we thought…”

  “I know what you thought! You’d all do well to actually listen to me sometimes!” he thundered.

  “I’m sorry, Captain,” she said, looking at her feet, wishing the floor would open up and swallow her. “It’s just that Nayash reckoned you…” She ground to a halt, realizing that nothing she could say would make her night’s excursion any better in Tirak’s eyes. She was only clawing a deeper hole for herself.

  “I hope that after risking everything, you found out something more worthwhile than a comparison of U’Churian and Sholan male anatomy!” he snarled.

  Now she really wished the floor would swallow her! Ears flattened backward, tail drooping to the floor, she mumbled, “Yes, Captain.”

  “Well, get on with it!”

  “The Valtegans sold the four of them to Bradogan about a year ago, as best he can reckon it.”

  “We know that already!”

  “I found out they were
captured while traveling from their moon to the planet on leave. There was a fleet of vessels, ones they’d never seen before. Other craft were being destroyed but theirs was held and boarded and they were taken captives.”

  Tirak had sat back in his seat and was looking less angry. “A fleet, eh?”

  She nodded. “They’d never seen the Valtegans before, didn’t know they existed. Obviously they couldn’t speak the language either so they didn’t know what was wanted of them.”

  “Why were they taken?”

  “He doesn’t know. It was a military ship, Jeran said. The general had them beaten and even used drugs on them, but they told him nothing, even when they could understand enough of the language.”

  “What were they trying to find out?”

  “They were never completely sure,” she said. “Jeran was puzzled about that. What surprised him was the Valtegans fear of them.”

  Tirak leaned forward. “Fear? Of captives?”

  “Yes. They were terrified of them. Kept them chained in some temple they had on board, with an object that they considered holy.”

  “Are you telling me that the Valtegans captured them, beat them, and kept them chained up because they’re afraid of them?”

  “I’m only telling you what he told me, Captain. Jeran refused to talk about it after that. Said he’d told me too much already.”

  Tirak sat back in his chair, clasping his hands on his desk. “So what did you find out about his people from your more— intimate— association with him?”

  Giyesh looked at the floor again, scuffing one foot against the other in acute embarrassment. She could feel the skin around her nose and eyes begin to prickle with heat.

  “You weren’t so reticent with Mrowbay!”

  “Is different,” she mumbled. “He’s crew, like me.”

  “Do I have to wait for your gossip to get back to me?” he demanded. “You weren’t so damned bashful with this Jeran!”

  “He’s not a mind-speaker,” she said, picking on one innocent fact. “Few of them are. Telepaths, he called them. Said two of the others were telepaths.”