Keeping Her

by Alexis Noelle

  Thank God this is my senior year. I can’t wait to say goodbye to this god forsaken place. After I get out of here, if I ever see another brightly colored polo shirt or a pair of plaid shorts I might shoot myself in the damn head. Everyone in this damn school is so involved with themselves it’s hard to believe they can retain any actual information.

  I reach into the top of my locker to store the expensive ass books that will stay here until I have to return them at the end of the year. I hear the crash before the locker door smacks me in the head. “What the fuck?” I throw my shit on the floor ready to punch the prissy ass mothe fucker that feels like testing me today. I slam the door shut and am shocked when I see a mess of blonde hair and books at my feet.

  I kneel down next to her trying to calm the anger rolling though me at thinking that this was another attempt at picking on the middle class loser. “Are you okay?”

  Her hand brushes her hair away from her face and the biggest pair of green eyes I’ve ever seen are looking up at me. “Um, yea, I think so. I’m sorry I’m such a klutz.”

  She looks away from me and bites her lip as she starts to gather her books that scattered everywhere. I can’t tear my eyes away from the way her teeth are digging into her full bottom lip. She clears her throat letting me know I’ve been caught staring, and I grab the rest of her books off the floor. I stand up and offer her my hand. She takes it gently and I help her get to her feet. Her knees buckle and she falls into me. I drop her books so that I can catch her.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” The smell of strawberries invade my senses and my hands clasp the loose material of her shirt. She’s pressed against me right now and it’s like we are alone in our own world.

  “Yea, I just hit my head.” Her hands are resting on my hips and when the bell rings she jumps. “I should really get going.”

  She starts to walk away but I follow her. “Brian.”

  Green eyes turns on her heels to look at me. “What?”

  “My name, it’s Brian.”

  She smiles at me and I swear I have never seen a more beautiful girl in my life. “Nice to meet you, Brian. I’m Julia, thanks for saving me back there.” Julia. She starts to walk away but I follow her again. When I catch up to her she looks over at me as if she is surprised I’m still with her. “Don’t you have to go to class, Brian?”

  I smile at the way my name sounds coming out of her mouth. “I do, but I figured that I should make sure you get to class safely. I mean the lockers in this place can be brutal.” She shoots me a dirty look and I can’t help but laugh. “You know you could give me your number that way if any other lockers attack you I can be there to save you again.”

  She stops walking and looks over at me. “Are you serious?”

  I look at her in confusion. “About getting your number definitely, about lockers attacking you hopefully not.”

  She laughs and opens up the notebook on the top of her pile of books. After she scribbles on it, she hands me the paper with her number on it. “I really do have to get to class now.”

  She walks away from me and I’m frozen in place. I can tell that this girl is definitely going to give me a run for my money.

  I take a deep breath, open the car door, and walk into the shop. The bell dings signaling my arrival and Jules’ warm eyes rise to greet me. When she sees me, her eyes widen and her mouth forms an “O.” After all this time, she is still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Her long blonde hair is braided to the side and she has on a black v-neck t-shirt which hugs the curves that are engraved in my memory. I sit down at one of the small tables and pretend to browse the menu while trying my damnedest to cover up how much I have missed her.

  Chapter Two

  Julia

  When I hear the bell ring I look up to greet the new customer just to have the wind knocked out of me. Brian. Why is he here? How is he here? I haven’t seen him since the night he decided I was no longer good enough for him. I can’t help but stare at the man who was the first love of my life. Brian and I had a crazy all consuming love that ended in heartbreak. I cried over him for months just to find out not only did he abandon me but went as far to leave town just to get away from me.

  He sits down at one of my tables and my stomach drops. As I look him over he is wearing the same t-shirt he was the night he gave up on me. It’s like another knife in my heart to see him in it. I don’t know what type of game he is trying to play, but Brian Evans is my past and will never be part of my future. I look over to Sara, one of the girls that works for me, “Hey can you take that table? I need to make a phone call.”

  She nods and heads over to Brian’s table as I slip into the back like a coward. I look down at my shaky hands trying to get a grip on myself. Why would he come in here? I’m sure he has heard about me and Dan by now, he has nothing left in this town. It doesn’t make sense for him to come back.

  I smooth out my clothes before taking a deep breath and walking back out front. “Why are you hiding from me?”

  A deep voice whispers in my ear and I jump at the sound. Brian is standing next to me the two of us too close for comfort in this tiny hallway. As I breathe in my senses are invaded with his cologne. It’s the same one he wore all those years ago. I feel like a lovesick teenager again. Like the same little girl who couldn’t control herself around him. I’m not her anymore though, she was broken. As I stare at the man who destroyed my life all those years ago, contempt and anger run through my body.

  “I’m not hiding. I just have no desire to see you,” I say as strong as I possibly can but know my voice is still a little shaky. I move to walk away from him when he grabs my arm. I turn to face him and he takes a step closer, forcing me to step back until my back hits the wall.

  Brian takes another step and puts his hands on either side of my head. “You were hiding from me, Jules,” he slowly annunciates my name letting the sound drag from his lips. “I know you better than anyone, even the douchebag that you married. How is it, Jules? Does he make you scream the way I used to? Does he even know what to do with you?”

  How dare he come back here after eight years and say shit like that to me? I try to think of some smart assed comment but right now all I need is air. I push one of his arms away and walk out into the bakery, grab my purse from behind the counter, and let Sara know I’ll be back later. When I look back, I see Brian in the same spot leaning against the wall and just watching me. I head for my car and take my phone out to call Lacey. She has been my friend since high school and the reason I survived when Brian broke my heart.

  “Hey, babe.” Her cheery voice greets me not knowing the shit storm that is going on right now.

  “Lace, he’s back.” My voice is cracking from the tears I’m trying to sustain.

  “Who?” I know I’ve caught her off guard and couldn’t expect her to know what I’m talking about.

  “Brian.” I say choking out the name I never thought I would say again.

  “What? Why the hell would he come back here? What happened? Are you okay?” I can hear the fear in her voice that I’ll slip back into the person I was the first time he screwed me over.

  “Can I come see you?” Lacey has her own real estate business so I have no idea if she is at the office or doing showings all day.

  “Yea, I had one meeting today but I’ll call and reschedule it.” I can hear her rifling through papers.

  “No you don’t have—“

  “Shut up, and just get here,” she tells me in the voice I know I can’t argue with.

  “Okay, I’m on my way now. You’re the best.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know. See you soon, babe.”

  “Okay, bye.” I hang up and do my best to calm the emotions coursing through me. Lacey’s office is only about a ten-minute drive and when I pull up in the driveway she is standing at the door.

  I head inside with her and sit down on the couch in her office, bury my head in my hands, and let the first tears fall from my eyes. Lacey�
��s arms enclose me.

  “What happened? What did he say?”

  I groan. “He was such an asshole, Lace.” I recount the events to her and notice how pissed off she looks by the end of the story.

  “What the fuck, Julia? I mean, what is he doing?”

  I shake my head. “I have no idea. He left me, so why is he coming back here now after so long acting like he is jealous or something? I don’t even know what he was acting like. I do know that no matter how much I hate him that pull, that connection between us is still there.”

  “You can’t go down that road again. You and Dan are doing great and have been since you got together. The other day you said you guys were talking about trying for a baby. You can’t let that asshole fuck everything up for you.” The door to the office opens and Lacey swears under her breath. “I thought I locked that shit. I’ll be right back.”

  I get up and look in the mirror trying to tell myself I am strong enough to handle him being back.

  “Get the fuck out of here!” I hear Lacey yell and I run out to see what’s wrong.

  Brian is standing in the middle of the office staring at Lacey with a smirk on his face. When he sees me, his eyes roam over me and I can feel my body heating with a blush.

  “Are you deaf? I said get the fuck out of here!” Lacey yells at him once more.

  “Chill out, ice queen. I was just looking to see if there were any apartments for rent.” His voice is cool and has a hint of laughter behind it.

  “Not for you, dick. I can’t believe you even had the nerve to come here.” Lacey takes an angry few steps toward him.

  He holds his hands up in surrender. “Hey, in my defense the sign says Steven’s Realty. I had no idea it was your place.”

  “It’s a married name, and now that you know you can get the hell out.”

  Brian walks toward the door and opens it before turning back toward us. “See you ladies around town.”

  He shuts the door and leaves us both standing there dumbfounded.

  My heart is beating at twice its normal speed. I just want to curl into the fetal position that I spent most of the summer in when he left me. A part of me is still attached to him but I buried it long ago. Now that he is back in town that part is fighting to get out.

  I look over at Lacey and she is standing there as much in disbelief as I am.

  “What am I gonna do, Lace?”

  “I have no idea, babe. He seems like a man on a mission, and if had to wager a guess, I would say you might be that mission.”

  Just fucking great.

  Chapter Three

  Julia

  I drive home trying to figure out how to tell Dan that Brian is back in town. He is definitely not going to be happy and I am too emotionally drained for an argument right now. I have to say compared to the hurricane of a relationship that Brian and I had, Dan and I barely fight. It’s really nice, but at times I feel like it’s a bit boring when we agree on almost everything. As much as he hurt me, seeing Brian today lit a flame in me that had been extinguished long ago. He always had a way of doing that, of setting me on fire and making me feel alive. Until the day he didn’t care anymore.

  That summer was supposed to be the most amazing time of my life. Traveling all over Europe with Lacey, seeing things that I had been dreaming of since I was a little girl. What really happened was anything but that. I spent most of the days crying and depressed not understanding why he threw everything we had away. I wrote him a few letters but never received a response. A week before our trip ended, Lacey laid into me.

  “That’s it!” Lacey storms in the door and slams it behind her. “You are getting the hell up! And enjoying the little time we have left here!” I look up to see her standing there with her hands on her hips.

  “Lace I—“

  “No. No more of this ‘I don’t want to.’ ‘I’m fine, you go out.’ ‘Maybe I’ll get a letter today’ crap.” I lower my eyes to the floor as I realize what a pathetic mess I have been. Lacey sits down beside me and puts her arm around me. “I get that he hurt you, babe, and trust me I will castrate him when we get back if you want me to, but you need to understand that you’re letting him win. You’re letting him control you from thousands of miles away.”

  She’s right. Brian never wanted me to go away this summer maybe this was how he planned it. I have spent the entire time closed up in our apartment and grieving my relationship with him. Lacey is right, I need to get over Brian Evans because he was obviously over me. I smile at her and she jumps up.

  “Hell yes! Now get out of those ratty sweatpants and into something that isn’t going to scare people.” I laugh as I get off the couch and head into our room. I say a silent goodbye to Brian. I don’t care if he begs me when we get home I am done with him.

  I think I felt lighter after that day. The weight of our failed relationship wasn’t weighing me down constantly and while I wasn’t happy, I was definitely on my way to getting there.

  I pull into my driveway and take a deep breath before I get out of the car. As I’m walking up the pathway, I see a realtor showing the house across the street. They have been trying to sell that thing forever without any offers. It’s a nice house but definitely a fixer upper. I wave to her, my hand stopping in mid-air when I see who is standing next to her. Brian.

  “Hey, neighbor!” he shouts as he waves back at me. He wouldn’t. He can’t. “See you around!” he yells with a smirk before heading into the house. He is.

  My hands fist at my sides as I try to keep myself from losing the little bit of composure I have left. He is trying to drive me crazy and in the few hours he’s been back in town it’s working. I am half scared that he will be living across the street from me because I have no idea what his motive is. The other half of me is so pissed off that all I want to do is punch him in the face.

  I make my way up the steps trying to calm myself down. When I walk in the door all of the lights are out. I walk into the living room and when I turn on the lamp my breath catches in my throat.

  Dan is standing in the middle of the room with a bouquet of roses and he is wearing a suit. “Welcome home, beautiful.” The anger inside me vanishes as I realize how amazing the man I married is. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his neck.

  “If this is the kind of greeting I get, I’ll buy you flowers every day,” he whispers as he trails light kisses down my neck. Dan and I have been together for almost six years. We started dating my freshman year of college. It was weird at first because we had been friends for so long. Also he was there throughout my whole relationship with Brian, and saw the mess I was when it ended.

  I pull back and look up at him thinking about how he saved me from the shell of a person I had turned into. “What did I do to get so lucky?” I laugh at how cheesy I sound. The thing is that it’s true he showed me that love didn’t always need to hurt and that people didn’t always take you for granted. From the moment we got together he has shown me every day how much he really loves me.

  “I don’t know, I guess you just hit the jackpot.” He smiles and winks at me. “I’m taking you out to dinner, go get dressed.” I turn to walk away from him determined to put all thoughts of Brian out of my mind. If he is going to be here then I need to learn to deal with it. I can’t spend every day avoiding him, or letting him get the best of me. He ruined my one summer abroad, he’s not going to ruin the rest of my life. I can’t let him win again.

  Chapter Four

  Brian

  I am on my way to meet a bunch of my buddies for dinner, but all I can think about is Jules. I have to say I am enjoying toying with her more than I probably should, but it serves her right. After everything she put me through I have no sympathy for her now, she was the one that ended things. Now I’m just trying to have a little fun.

  I pull up to the restaurant and head inside. Jake, Ryan, Mason, and Hunter are all sitting at a table, beers already ordered. All five of us served together in the marines, it’s crazy how we liv
ed so close to each other but had never met before then.

  “Yo, dude! Why are you always late?” Jake shouts as he sees me coming.

  I just shake my head. “I was dealing with some business.”

  “Oh yea? You just got back into town today. What the hell business could you be doing?” Ryan looks over at me and I swear to God he knows I’ve been up to no good. He is like a damn human lie detector.

  “I put in a bid for a house. The owners have been trying to settle forever and are just looking to get rid of it at this point.” I laugh as I remember Jules’ face when I called her neighbor.

  “Putting down roots already?” Mason cocks an eyebrow at me. “I remember hearing you bitch for four years about how you were so happy to get out of this damn place.”

  I’m about to answer him when something catches my eye. In a matter of seconds my entire body goes rigid as I see them. Dan and Jules. The motherfucker is holding her hand and she is smiling up at him. My hands fist at the table trying to control the anger flowing through my veins.

  “Dude, did you just fucking growl?” I look up at Hunter with a “don’t fuck with me” expression on my face and he immediately backs off.

  I’m staring at her, at their joined hands, at their smiling faces. When the waitress leads them back to a table our eyes meet and I can see the look of shock in her eyes at seeing me. She’s had it every time I approached her today, and I love it. She better fucking get used to it though because I’m not going anywhere. Jules slows her pace and Dan turns around his eyes following her gaze. When his eyes meet mine he looks more taken back than she does. She hasn’t told him? I thought that would have been the first thing she did when she got home. Maybe she didn’t tell him because she didn’t want to admit that she cared that I was back. If that’s the case then why would she have screwed me over in the first place? Dan leads her back to where the waitress went but her eyes don’t leave mine until she is out of sight.