by Kurtz, Timna
“I promise. Promise to do whatever I can to keep you safe and protect you, and I will keep my distance so I will not brush against Eddie,” he whispered with a smile, fondly rubbing his nose in mine, soothing and dissipating the tension in my body, softening my fears and worries.
I knew he would protect me—I saw it in my dream—but with anything connected to the coming inevitable altercation with Eddie, I was aware that no matter how hard he tried, his efforts would be futile and he would not be able to avoid it.
“I have to go…” I hummed in pleasure, accepting his invigorating touch. “In case Eddie comes back and doesn’t find me, he might become suspicious…” I surrendered my neck to his kissing lips.
“I don’t care!” Jack whispered between kisses, making his way up my neck, licking my sensitive ear lobe, blowing with chilling warmth on my ear. “He doesn’t deserve a wonderful woman like you…” The kissing quest continued to my cheeks. “He was never able to appreciate you as you are and give you what you need!” He concluded his words with a deep and loving kiss.
For a few seconds I melted into his kiss, giving in to his love, and then with one swift move I tore myself away from him. Am I falling in love with him? Is it possible? How can I be in love with both of them? “I really have to go back!” I got dressed quickly in order to avoid explaining the sudden change in my demeanor, knowing I would not be able to fool Jack. But, I could see in his eyes that he understood and that he is letting me go on my way.
Before I left, I leaned to him again. “Thank you. For everything…” I said softly and kissed him lightly before I cleared out.
His arms were holding on to me, not letting me slip away. He pulled me back to him, kissing me intently in his familiar wild might, making it clear he would not give me up so easily. The vibe started reawakening, but before it took hold of me again I ran as quickly as I could from Jack’s conquering hug.
My intuition was not wrong. In the grey light of morning, I could see that Eddie had come back to our niche. He probably laid awake waiting for me to come back. When he heard me coming in, he sat up and immediately started interrogating me. “Where were you Grace? You couldn’t control yourself for even one night???” His bitterness blackened his beautiful face when he insulted me, projecting his rage at me, even though I knew he didn’t have an inkling as to my whereabouts.
“I slept with Rebecca and Jezebel,” I lied without batting an eye, ignoring the very obvious and insulting indication. “I was scared to stay alone. I was afraid Cole would come and demand that I commune with him. There is something dark and dangerous in this guy, and I wouldn’t want to find myself in his company by myself. In spite of anything you may be thinking, I am not looking forward to the idea that I will be forced to comply with the whims of this snake,” I set Eddie straight.
The expression on his face turned from blame to worry. “Did he try to hurt you Grace? Did he try to touch you? That crook…” He came closer and put his hands on my shoulders.
“No, no…everything is alright…he didn’t do anything…” I kept on lying, “But you saw what happened in the cave. I’d rather he stay away from me—and from any other woman in this tribe for that matter! He gives me the creeps…” A twitch of fear caused me to tremble as I recalled the incident with Cole.
“I will not let that scum near you! If he dares to touch as much as a single hair of yours–I will personally make sure that he embarks on an underwater journey of his own to check out up close why there aren’t any fish in the sea!” He lifted my chin and looked at my face. “Oh, Grace…this is some awful business you got us into…” He exhaled with a despaired and patronizing sound, and pulled me close for a protective hug.
I melted into his arms, confused, distraught, scared, and excited–I burst into tears, unleashing my entire emotional tornado on his chest.
Fragments of scenes from the dream were running through my head, confusing me even more. According to the dream, I knew it would be Jack who would be “taking care” of Cole, but now, it was implied by Eddie’s words that he too would not hesitate to hurt Cole, if only he could find an excuse for that. If so, who or what was that white eagle that foretold of its approach?
Answers and solutions were much needed to me, but I knew that I would find those up the island, with another dip in the waters of the sacred cave. At present this was too much of a risk that I did not want to take. Going up the cave would be suicide! I would find myself being attacked by Cole, the black bird of prey.
Sooner or later I would have no choice but to go to the cave—but I knew that as long as I was able to, I would postpone it as much as possible.
During the next few days, I went to great lengths to keep myself surrounded by people. I spent most of my time in the company of Rebecca and Jezebel who proved as a source of inspiration and comfort. At night I would cling to Eddie, but in light of the tension in the air, since the incident in the cave, there was no passion between us. The tribe’s assembly for voting was postponed without a word, but it was clear to all that a decision had to be made on the matter.
As I witnessed in my dream, Jack was looking over me from afar, with open eyes and at the same time keeping a close watch on Cole.
Each time we locked gazes, I could sense his love reigniting the vibe inside of me, causing me to quickly look away, silencing the vibe so it would not take over and lead me back to the cave against my will. I tried to deny the intense feelings that I had developed for him, but every additional night with Eddie, without the act of love, caused more yearning to return to his little cave.
Jack and Rebecca were the only ones who knew what had happened that night after the assembly. Other than them—I hadn’t told anyone—not even Roan and especially not Eddie—because I knew it would lead to an uproar. This kind of fire can easily turn into a barbaric and cruel lynch, from which there would be no turning back! This kind of act would imprint the identity of this tribe and the guilt felt by everyone would only cause more acts of violence.
Cole himself probably realized by his keen senses, that he had crossed the line. He vanished into the background, going to great lengths to attract as little attention as possible. He wasn’t seen for hours, and only emerged to grab something to eat and disappear again. But the vibe down my spine made it clear to me that he was watching me from his hiding place.
The hours passed and the tension grew. Tension from the coming violence, tension from the pending vote, our heavy concerns from acute food shortage and the expected famine to follow, and of course, the sexual tension, silently awaiting its climax…
* * *
Chapter 16
Five days had gone by.
Five days, in which I forcibly restrained the vibe in me, fearfully suppressing it each time I felt the slightest inclination of it forming, burying my gaze in the ground, severing eye contact with men talking to me, especially with whom I was attracted to.
Jack kept his distance, but his looks incinerated my soul. The yearning to once again feel the powerfulness of his love was weighing heavily on my mundane breathing.
Eddie kept me at arm’s length. Although he hugged me from behind, he was far away with his thoughts, punishing me with a cold shoulder until such time when the tribe would render their decision—with the anticipation, of course, that they would rule in his favor.
My attraction to Jack only intensified due to Eddie’s distancing and patronizing. But the fear of losing his love and then losing control of the tribe as a result proved stronger than my need to give in to my wants and wishes. The following day I woke up burning with fever. The strain I was under started to show and I was now paying the price with my health.
Panicked, Eddie called, at my request, for Rebecca and Jezebel. On my instructions Jezebel went to pick a few herbs that would help reduce my fever and calm me. Rebecca stayed at my side, lightly wetting my burning brow. Eddie’s worried passing caught the attention of the rest of the group and after a few minutes, they were all aware of my condi
tion.
Curious heads peaked from the niche’s opening, and worried looks appeared on their faces. My pale face and dark circles underneath my eyes probably created quite a sickly look. Even with the shaking of my weak body, I could sense their anxiety. Not long ago, all that was needed to reduce fever came in a form of a little pill that also took care of the pain associated with it. Now they were powerless against the illness that attacked me and it created restlessness within them. If I had an inkling of strength left in me, I would have probably tried to ease their minds, but my body was worn out and exhausted from the high fever and mental strain. I prayed with all my heart that the plants that Jezebel brought would prove to be healing plants. So far, my plants were used as food only—now we would have the opportunity to check their additional attributes.
But what if they do not have healing traits? I knew that if my illness was prolonged, it would increase the levels of anxiety in my friends—and even worse, it could be contagious and infect others. I could not afford that, or take it upon my conscious!
The shivering in my body grew stronger, and now we had no other recourse but to start a fire. Up till now we had avoided lighting fires so not to use up all the trees on the island, but with the situation created there was no other choice.
Roan started a small fire that soon began spreading its warmth. The blankets I used to pad Rebecca’s bed before were now wrapped around my shivering body for the purpose of making me sweat and temper my body’s temperature reducing my fever.
Jezebel came back with the plants in her hand and was happy to see the fire lit, as it would make it easier for her to make the herbal brew for me.
She had already learned everything there was to know about herbs from me and was now brewing the herbs in a little pot, draining the water, cooling the boiled plants and placing them as compresses on my burning forehead. After that they both supported me up to enable me to drink from the healing brew, and they stayed with me, holding my shoulders, helping warm my body transferring their strength and energy with their loving touch. The three of us then prayed for the healing powers of the plants.
“You can’t go on like this Grace!” Rebecca turned to me quietly. Jezebel had stepped out to get a fresh batch of medicinal herbs, and we were left alone in the little cranny. “You can’t hide from the rest of the world. There’s a voting process that needs to take place. In spite of your fear from Eddie’s reaction, you cannot avoid the responsibility that comes with leading the tribe. You are sick because you are afraid. You let your fears take hold of you—”
“What did you want?! That I let the vibe take over??” I interrupted her, trying to convince her that I was right to act like I did.
“So far, dear Grace, the vibe led you to take responsibility and leadership of the tribe, and helped us make some major discoveries that were instrumental to our survival in this current state. It is your duty to keep fulfilling this role. No one can replace you nor can anyone do the job properly,” she placed a soothing and maternal hand on my forehead. “Good, the herbs are working, your fever is beginning to break…” she mumbled with relief. “You have to get to the cave, Grace, and cleanse yourself in the water. It will make you stronger and heal you.”
“I am afraid to go there, Mother. I am concerned that Cole will take advantage of the situation and I will not be able to resist him! The vibe will demand that I give in to him—but for him, there will be no pleasure in my surrender, only from the strong and violent conquest. He will want to submit and humiliate me. This is what scares me…” I poured my heart out to her, together with my fears.
“You are forgetting one thing, Grace. There is a reason you were chosen to play this part, which is why you have someone who guides you and protects you. I believe that the same forces that are guarding you, will not let him harm you like you fear,” Rebecca replied in a confident, faithful voice.
“Still—I am afraid to take that chance,” I confessed.
“You have no choice! The longer you wait you will only make your condition worse. Besides, even without the tribe’s decision on mating customs, it is starting to happen on its own. People have internalized your vision and are accepting it with understanding. I have been observing them in the past few days, and I saw our friends’ satisfaction. Eddie, of course, chooses to ignore this. If he claims that he does not see anything on his own accord, he is blind. Go to the cave, Grace. Go and bathe yourself, and then come back and assemble the tribe. A tribe without leadership is like a herd without a shepherd, which very soon will lose its direction. In a few days, when the food supply is finished, who do you think they will turn to for order? From whom will they ask for guidance and advice? From Eddie, who is proving himself to be conservative and jealous, and is unwilling to accept the spirit of change? Roan alone will not be able to supply answers. In spite of his likeability and capabilities, Roan lacks the depth and practical sense that are beating and thriving in you. It’s time to fulfill your calling. Who knows—if all of this didn’t happen and the world remained as it was, if you would have dared to go out and realize your vision? Or it would have never revealed to you, and you would have continued living your life with the awful feeling you missed out? There is no question here of what is better or what you prefer. It is your duty to carry out the mission that was entrusted to you!” Her British accent game gushing out as she passionately lectured me. Her eyes gleamed when her mature wise gaze fixated on me. Even though she had aged before her time, in these moments she looked as combative and full of life as much as anyone else, even those much younger than her. Her faith in my abilities filled my heart moving me to tears.
“Thanks, Mother…” I whispered excited. “If only my own mother had believed in me like this, maybe I would have had the power to fulfill my calling before the world sank into the deep. I am also not too sure she would have accepted the vision with understanding. She was just as much of a conservative as Eddie. Is it a wonder he was her favorite choice for a son in law…?” We laughed and looked at each other. “I feel much better already. I am starting to get hot.”
“Rest a little while longer, and only after you eat something and get stronger, go up to the cave. I shall accompany you as much as I can, but these old legs aren’t equipped for such a clime,” she smiled apologetically.
“I can’t take Jezebel with me either. I wouldn’t want to expose her to any unnecessary danger in case Cole decides to pop up from some hole,” I felt an intense need to protect Jezebel as if she was my own flesh and blood. “And surely Eddie or Jack will not be able to protect me, because their presence will interfere with my seclusion and prevent me from receiving the messages I need…” I silenced the end of that sentence. There was no need to say that if one of them was around, an altercation with Cole would become especially violent.
“Everything will be alright. Trust yourself. You are a strong woman. Always was and always will be—and the sooner you are yourself again, you will see how you grow and become more powerful. Everything is happening as it should,” she hinted.
I laid back and she covered me with blankets. “Now keep your strength and I will come back later with a little food.” She kissed my forehead again and went out.
The fatigue pulled me down rapidly into a heavy deep slumber. I closed my eyes, mentally preparing myself for the climb up to the cave. I dove into oblivion, with only the sounds of flapping wings as company, telling me of what was to come…
* * *
Chapter 17
At dusk, I made my way to the cave for the second time.
The shadows grew long as I slowly climbed up the island. My body was still weak, but the rest I had and the herbs worked wonders in me. I knew for certain that as soon as I dipped myself in the holy waters, I would be strong again.
Rebecca and Jezebel accompanied me for a short distance and bid their farewell. I could see the worry and concern in Jezebel’s eyes, like a daughter that was afraid for her mother’s safety, and in Rebecca’s eyes, I could see the
spark and passion for life, urging me to go up and reconnect to my own lust for life.
The closer I got to the cave, the vibe in me started humming and bustling, shaking my body and heart with excitement, forcing me to breathe slowly and heavily, inhaling and exhaling at length with each step that drew me closer to my destination. Apart from the excitement and fear that filled me, I could also identify a powerful feeling of arousal—and how could I not? I thought to myself. After a few weeks filled with sexuality and sensuality came the last few days without being touched, when desires swirled around me without being met. I prayed with all my heart that I would not encounter Cole in the cave. In the past few days, he was nowhere to be found. As small as our island was, he probably found a hiding place.
To my joy, the cave was empty. Except the trickle of the waters flowing in the small stream, no other sound was heard. My senses sharpened as the vibe returned to engulf me and I could sense the cave speaking to me, telling me in silence of all the copulations that had taken place in it, whispering to me about the realization of my vision. I smiled as the vibe led me from corner to corner. In each place I put my hands on, pictures formed before my eyes, showing me the acts of love within the tribe. Warmth filled my heart. Rebecca’s words were right– “It is all happening as it should…” Her words echoed in my ears.