by Nikki Rashan
“But what?”
“We might never have even gotten here if you had been up front from the start.”
“About?”
“About not feeling excited about us anymore, Kyla.” She stared into the slow-moving clouds. “About your feelings of boredom. You didn’t say you were bored, but that’s what you meant. We could have tried to work it out, make it better. Every day isn’t going to be a trip to the amusement park, but we can do our best.”
“I realize that now. I know there are things I could have suggested we do or experiment with so it wouldn’t have felt like we did the same thing all the time. It gets hard, you know. Easy to fall into the same day-to-day rut.”
“True,” she agreed.
We were quiet as we observed a family set up an afternoon picnic nearby. The kids, a boy and a girl, chased one another in circles across the grass while their parents laid out a blanket.
“This won’t be easy,” Asia stated.
“No, it won’t. What will you do about Sam?”
She got upset again. “I don’t know yet. She lied to me, never mentioned you called or anything. I shouldn’t have messed with her in the first place. That was my mistake.”
“Why Sam? Why did you choose her?” I wanted to know.
“Because I knew I could.”
“She laid it there like that for you, huh?”
Asia smiled smugly, inappropriately. She didn’t answer.
“Was it good?” I asked.
Her head snapped to the side. “Kyla . . .”
“I want to know,” I declared.
She hesitated. “No,” she said.
Inside I smiled.
“You don’t want to know,” she added.
Once again, my double standards surfaced the second I processed her words. I was sick to know sex with Sam had pleased her, even though Angie had continued to exceed my expectations in bed.
“If we want to make this work, we can’t talk about this. About them. If I forgive you, if you forgive me, we have to let it go,” Asia said.
I couldn’t help it. I wanted to know what Sam had done that pleased Asia. My pride fought hard against humility, and won.
“Was she better than me?”
Asia rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you just asked me that. If she was, what difference does it make? If she wasn’t, what difference does it make? We’re talking about reconciling, and you’re busy wondering how good sex was with somebody else. I know all about Angie rocking your world, but you don’t see me over here sweating about it. You know why? Because love wins. It should. If loving me is more important to you than how many times Angie can make you cum, then put this shit to rest and let’s move on.”
I was quiet again. I wanted to go home with Asia. I wanted to rekindle our relationship, to restore the connection of our earlier days. To do so, I would have to forget about Sam and Angie. How could I forget about Sam if she continued to work for Asia?
“Will she still work for you?”
“I’m thinking about that. I don’t have a valid reason to let her go, Kyla. Fire her for telling my girlfriend we fucked each other?”
I cringed.
“That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen,” she continued.
“How can she still work for you after what’s happened? You slept together.”
“Same way you and Angie stayed friends after fucking.”
My persistent repetitious questions were pissing her off.
“That makes you uneasy?” Asia asked. “I don’t know what to tell you, because I doubt I can let her go without good grounds.”
“It’s fine. It’s fine,” I said, yielding to the truth she spoke.
“I’ll handle her lie. Otherwise, it is what it is. I chose her, and now I’ll have to deal with the consequences.”
I didn’t like the idea of Asia working with Sam after they slept together, especially if Asia enjoyed it. I hated that they would see each other regularly, and it bothered me that I would have to face Sam again eventually. I had brought it upon myself; there was nothing I could do but swallow my own pill.
“What now?” I asked.
Asia stared up at the sky again. “Come with me.” She stood up and reached for my hand.
I had touched her hand innumerable times over the course of nine years. In that moment, her skin around mine felt like it had the first time. I shoved aside the curious question of how her touch had felt to Sam. I had to find the strength to think it irrelevant in terms of our future.
She led me back toward the park entrance and then toward our cars. “Follow me home,” she instructed when we reached her truck.
“Right now?”
“Yes, right now. Is that a problem? You need to see Angie first?”
“No, I’ll get with her later. I’m ready,” I told her. “I’m ready to come home.”
“Let me say this before we go.” She took a step closer to me. “I didn’t know what to expect when I called you this morning. Even if the conversation hadn’t ended this way, I wanted to apologize for the some of the shit I said to you. I wanted to hurt you way you hurt me. I did that with words and actions. I didn’t mean most of it.”
“Most of it?”
She grinned. “Right. Most of it.” She added nothing further. “See you in the driveway.” She got into her truck before I could respond.
I walked the additional block to my car. Once inside it, I pulled my phone from my purse; I had felt vibrations twice while I sat with Asia, signals that I had missed two calls. They were both from Angie. She had left one message, which I listened to as I pulled up behind Asia’s waiting truck.
“Kyla, I decided to step out for a while. I hope to see your face when I get back.” She paused. “I’ll be gone from about six to nine, okay? Remember everything I said. All right. Bye.”
So much had been said, so I didn’t know what she wanted me to remember in particular. That she loved me and had always loved me? Did she want to remind me that she had claimed she would never hit me, though she had hit Deidra? What was the point of her message? No matter what she wanted, I knew I had a three-hour window in which to retrieve my things from her place. I didn’t want to go through a drawn-out good-bye with her and decided I would leave a note and her key, which I would no longer need. I prayed she would understand.
Thirty
Asia
We pulled into the garage, my truck first, Kyla after me. The garage felt complete with both of our cars there. Each day I had entered the garage without her car there, I had felt as empty as the open, bare space. The presence of her car comforted me.
“I have a surprise for you,” I told her before we opened the door to the kitchen. She smiled.
The kitchen had been spotlessly cleaned. It was empty, and the house was still. I walked to the family room and found no one, no Melanie, no Jovanna. Maybe they were napping. I headed upstairs, and Kyla followed. When we reached the second floor, we started to walk down the hallway, but then we both stopped and covered our mouths, I from a desire to squelch my laughter, Kyla from shock. She appeared scared and confused, while I was tickled. From the guest bedroom, we heard moans of pleasure and words of delight. Exactly what position they were in, we couldn’t see, but whatever it was, Melanie was euphoric. I took quiet steps backward and led Kyla back downstairs.
“Who is that?” She tried to whisper and failed.
“Melanie and Jovanna.”
“They’re here?”
“Yep. They came yesterday. I had no idea they were coming. They just showed up.”
“I wondered who that was,” she said.
“When? What do you mean?”
“Yesterday. Yesterday you called me,” Kyla explained. “Had to be by accident. I heard them talking. I tried to figure out who it was, and thought maybe it was Melanie. I can’t believe she came all the way to see you.” Kyla tilted her head sideways. “So they know, then?”
“Yes, they know. They came to see how I was doing.”
“
That was really sweet. That makes this kind of awkward, Asia.” She sounded sad. “Me showing back up after all this. We must look all kind of unstable to them.”
I shook my head. “As a matter of fact, the opposite is true. They’re actually very supportive of us. They encouraged me to call you so we could talk things out.”
“Even with all that’s happened?” she asked.
“Yes, with all that’s happened. They know everything. They believe in love. They believe in us. It helped. You should thank them.” I smiled at her.
“They must not have expected you back so soon.” Kyla laughed.
“I guess not. Certainly sounds like fun. Shall we? What better way to show them our gratitude.”
She gave me a puzzled look. “Shall we what?” “Join them.” My stomach shook as I tried to contain my laughter with a convincing expression.
“You mean in their room? In their bed? A foursome?”
“Sure. Why not? You wanted to spice things up with us, right? This is the perfect opportunity. I think they’ll be down.”
“I’ve always thought Jovanna was kind of fine.” Kyla licked her lips sensually. “You’re right too. This will liven things up for us right away. Come on.” She put her purse down and walked toward the staircase again.
After what we had been through the past couple of weeks, I wanted Kyla to get angry with me and show disgust at my suggestion. I knew I shouldn’t have played with her, but I thought the joke would die as soon as it began. Instead, Kyla considered my suggestion. I was furious instantly.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” I screamed. “We’re trying to make things right, and you go and agree to some shit like that? Get the fuck out, and don’t come back.”
Kyla blinked at me, like she didn’t understand my words.
“What? You suggested it. What’s the problem?” she asked.
“You are the fucking problem,” I told her.
She frowned at me. Then a moment later she fell to the second step and burst out laughing. “Shh . . . ,” she told herself and covered her lips with one finger, but she couldn’t stop her laughter. She pointed at me and gasped for breath.
Damn, she got me. “I should kick your ass,” I said as I went to her and wrapped my fingers around her neck in a playful choke.
She was crying. “I got you good.” She wiped her eyes. “You should have seen the look on your face.” She continued to laugh. “That’s what you get for playing with me.”
“I can’t believe you.” I loosened my light grip around her neck and put my arms around her shoulders.
“That was funny as hell.” Her wet eyes looked into mine. “It’s just me and you now. Got it?”
“Got it.” I lowered my head and kissed her salty lips. More warm tears began to fall. She no longer laughed.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered softly between kisses. “I wish I could make all of this go away.” Her body began to shake.
I held her tightly. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.”
“I wish none of this had ever happened. I know I made mistakes before, but this is by far the worst ever.”
“We’re going to work this out,” I whispered, trying to assure her. “Together.”
She responded with a squeeze. Behind her, at the top of the stairs, stood Melanie and Jovanna, covered in robes. Jovanna’s head lay against Melanie’s chest. She smiled down at me, and Melanie gave me a thumbs-up. They walked back to their bedroom.
“I love you,” Kyla told me.
“I love you back. I’m so happy you’re home.”
Thirty-one
Kyla
“You want to go back by yourself?” Asia asked after I told her I wanted to go back to Angie’s to pick up my things. We had gone into the bedroom and were lying face-to-face on the bed. “You don’t think she’ll try to stop you, do you?”
“I don’t think so. She said she won’t be there from six to nine.”
“What about Deidra? Think she’ll show up again?”
I hadn’t thought about that. “I hope not.”
“We can ride with you. There’s enough room in my truck for all of us and your things.”
“Yeah, okay. Just in case somebody shows up. I don’t want any trouble.”
Asia’s phone rang in her purse, which was next to me. “Hand it to me, will you?”
I reached in her purse, got her phone, and handed it to her. A piece of paper with our names on it caught my eye. I pulled it out when she answered the phone. Her name was at the top, to the left, and mine was at the top, to the right. Beneath our names was a list of different items from the house. She had listed the chaise in our bedroom under her name and the bed under my name, along with the chest of drawers. She had listed two small paintings we purchased in the Dominican Republic under her name and a hand-carved sculpture from Jamaica that I loved under mine. Items from every room in the house were on that sheet of paper.
“That was Melanie, checking to see if it was okay for them to come to our bedroom,” she told me.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Oh.” Asia snatched the paper from my hands. I tried to take it back. “I told you I didn’t know how the conversation would end. If it had ended badly, I would have shown you this list. I had already taken it upon myself to divide things up. Why? You disagree with the list? I didn’t get it right? I tried to give you everything you like.”
I straddled her and was able to retrieve the paper from her slim fingers. “Let’s see.” I scanned it. “You gave yourself all the kitchen appliances. Really?”
“I cook more than you do.”
“Oh, right. You have to make your spaghetti.”
“I know what you’re hinting at, and that’s not funny, Kyla,” she said.
“I’m just saying. How many times a month do we have spaghetti?”
“So that’s what bored you? My cooking?”
“Lord, I was just teasing.”
“No, you weren’t. There’s humor in all teasing, or so they say.”
I kissed her. “I love your spaghetti. Especially the sauce.”
“Mmm. Whatever.” She grabbed my waist and tackled me, turning me over. “When you start cooking more, you do the menu, okay?”
“I’ll start cooking more, then. Bet that’ll spark things up.”
“Just don’t burn the house down.”
I was offended. “Quit playing. You know I can cook.”
“You’re all right. I cook better,” she stated matter-of-factly.
“This sounds like a cook-off challenge to me,” I told her.
“Fine, but you know I’m going to win.” She kissed my nose.
There was a light tap on the door before it opened. Melanie and Jovanna popped their heads inside. I rolled off Asia and stood. They both rushed to me.
“We’re so happy to see you,” Jovanna said with a hug.
“Yes, not the same without you,” Melanie told me after Jovanna released me, and then she embraced me herself.
“Glad to see you both.” I touched Jovanna’s short hair. “You look really good. Love your hair.” I glanced back at Asia discreetly, and was so swift that neither Melanie nor Jovanna noticed the move. Asia stuck her tongue out at me.
“Thanks.” Jovanna smiled.
“Asia’s been a great sport, letting us stay,” Melanie said.
“She wouldn’t have it any other way,” I told her.
“I’m happy you came. Seems like you’re enjoying yourselves.” Asia winked at them and giggled.
Jovanna elbowed Melanie. “See, I told you they were home.”
Melanie laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “Hey, we’re all grown women. What was that yelling about? That’s what, uh, startled us.”
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
Asia chuckled again. “Inside joke. Sorry, guys.”
“What do you have planned for tonight? We saw on Facebook that there’s a party tonight,” Melanie hinted.
Asia look
ed at me. “Well, first we have to take care of some unfinished business. Want to roll with us by Angie’s?”
Melanie and Jovanna exchanged concerned glances. “What’s up at Angie’s?” Melanie asked.
Suddenly I felt ashamed again and was too embarrassed to answer the question.
Asia answered for me. “Going to scoop up Kyla’s things.”
“Oh, yeah, yeah, sure,” Melanie said happily. “We’ll go along. We got your back.”
“Good. Thanks. So what’s up in Chicago these days? How’s everybody?” I asked. From what I remembered of their circle of friends, they were all some of the sexiest lesbians I had ever met.
“Everyone is really well,” Melanie answered.
“Please tell them I said hello, especially Ali. I loved her. She was so sweet.”
The room was still for a second too long. The quiet tension sent prickles up my neck.
“I will,” Jovanna responded. “She really enjoyed you too.”
“Are she and her lady friend still together? I forgot her name.”
“Mika? No, it didn’t work out. She’s still looking for her Miss Right.”
“That’s too bad,” I replied.
Everyone remained silent. The atmosphere became tenser still, and I felt the kind of uneasiness I experienced when I talked about someone without knowing they were standing behind me and then suddenly they made their presence known. I didn’t know what I had said to alter the climate.
“Let’s go downstairs and catch up more now that Kyla’s here,” Asia suggested. She got up from the bed. “Meet you in the family room?”
“Sure,” said Melanie.
Melanie and Jovanna left, and Asia grabbed my hand and escorted me into the bathroom. She closed the door.
“I didn’t get to tell you,” she whispered.
“Tell me what? What was that all about?”
“Last night Melanie told me about an incident with her and Ali.”
“With Ali? What kind of incident?” I leaned against the counter.
“She told me that one night she and Ali had been drinking. One thing led to another, and they almost had sex.”
“Jovanna’s friend Ali? You’re talking about her, right?”