Not My Type : Golden Girls 1

by Veronica Adler

“I’ll get them,” I said, popping out of my seat. I took the keys she gave me and walked towards the door, only to stop abruptly. A group of people was standing at the door, waiting to come in. Three men and two women. One of the three men was my Dr. Stranger.

  Panicked, I looked around for a place to hide. Shit, shit, shit. I looked over my shoulder and saw Mom busy trying to read the menu. If I went back without her glasses, she would question me. And then I would have to tell her the truth. Thinking quickly, I hid behind a large potted fern catty-corner to the hostess stand until Dr. Stranger and his friends walked away.

  I heard the hostess lead his party away. When I peeked out from behind the leaves, there were only four of them being led to the table. The good doctor was missing. I popped out from behind the fern and whipped my head from left to right like a ninja. Damn, I wish I had ninja skills because they would have come in very handy right now. Not seeing the doctor, I stepped out from behind the fern and ran for the door, only to plaster myself against the wall. He was outside, just around the corner, and on the phone.

  Damn. Okay, he was facing away from me. If I stuck to the wall, I could get to the car, get Mom’s glasses, and get back in the restaurant without him noticing. I took a deep breath, braced my ovaries, and slid along the wall. I peeked around the corner, he was gone. I pressed back against the wall and closed my eyes, breathing a sigh of relief. Good, I may just get through this.

  “What are you doing?”

  I let out a yell and in self-defense, I tossed the first thing at my attacker. My mom’s car keys. They hit him square in the chest and dropped to the ground. Dr. Handsome Stranger—Handsome being his first name—, looked down at the keys with curiosity, his mouth tilting up in amusement.

  “Exactly how much damage did you think those would have done if I were a real attacker?” He asked. My heart was pounding in my chest, staging a full-out escape plan that would have rivaled The Shawshank Redemption. The doctor bent down and retrieved my keys while I stood frozen.

  He was just on the other side of the parking lot. How did he get here so fast? Naturally, my brain formed the most logical conclusion. He was a vampire. That would explain how he just showed up randomly.

  “Are you a vampire?” I asked.

  “If I were, do you think I would choose to live in California? Everyone here is on a perpetual diet, the blood would be way too healthy. Also, look, no sparkles.”

  He held out his arm for me to inspect. I placed a hand over my mouth to cover my giant smile. It was weird that I kept running into him, but I had to say, I did like talking to him. It was too bad that he was a vampire.

  “I have to go now, bye,” I said, turning around.

  “Wait, why were you slinking around just now? Are you starring in a really bad parody of James Bond?” He asked.

  I stopped and turned around. I summoned my inner Regina George and tossed my hair over my shoulder, propping a hand on my hip.

  “I’ll have you know that if I wanted to be a spy, I would make an excellent one. James Bond wouldn’t even know what hit him.”

  Under the bright California sun, his blue eyes sparkled. They were the same color as the cloudless sky above us. It was unfair that he was so pretty and he smelled good, like winter, or what I imagined winter smelled, clean, piney, fresh wood burning in the fireplace, hot chocolate. All the best things. How did anyone concentrate at work when they were around him all day?

  “I pictured you as a Bond girl in my fantasies,” he said in a low voice.

  Oh, god. That flustered me. I opened my mouth, closed it, opened it again. What did you even say to that? The Bond girl’s main objective was to be sexy. He thought I was sexy. My face grew warm, and I shook my head for no apparent reason.

  “You…you…that…I…keys…car…” I forced myself to stop talking. Ha! Talking. More like spewing out random words.

  “God, you’re adorable,” he said, smiling.

  My brain had officially given up on this conversation. What the hell? I grabbed the car keys out of his hand and ran to my mother’s car, leaving him standing there.

  Some asshole one parking spot over had parked their car a little over the line. Which meant the person who had parked next to us had left barely enough room for me to open the car door and get in. I decided to pull the car out and find another parking spot. I jumped in, literally, hauled myself up and over the side and into the driver’s side. I turned the car and pulled out of the spot.

  “Fuck!”

  The automatic brake assist stopped the car from reversing because someone was walking right behind it. Panicked, I looked in the rearview mirror and almost groaned in dismay. Snapping my seatbelt, I twisted in my seat and looked at Dr. Stranger, who was staring at me with raised eyebrows and hands thrown up in surrender.

  “Okay, I promise not to tease you anymore. Just don’t run me over,” he said.

  “I didn’t try to run you over,” I said indignantly. “The car has brake assist, you would have been fine. If it had hit you, it would have been like a gentle love tap.”

  “As a general rule, I try to avoid ‘love taps’ from moving vehicles, what with wanting to live a long life and all.”

  “Why did you follow me?” I asked.

  “To help you by moving my car,” he said, pointing to the dark blue Tesla parked next to me. Then he shrugged sheepishly. “I didn’t know you would be so upset that you would try to run me over.”

  Why was he not running away? I was starting to doubt my sanity, and the longer he stuck around, the more I doubted his too. I had been about to run him over with my mother’s car, albeit unintentionally.

  “I’m sorry, and you don’t need to move your car. I’m moving mine, so it’s all good. Now, if you wouldn’t mind,” I said, motioning with my hand for him to move along. He still looked amused as he stepped away and let me reverse the car. I stopped the car next to him and looked up.

  He stared down at me with raised eyebrows, waiting for me to speak.

  “I’m not crazy, you know,” I said. Great argument, Eve. If he didn’t believe I was crazy before, he sure would now.

  “Thank you for clarifying,” he said.

  “I’m serious,” I said, just to drive the point home. “I am not crazy,”

  “You do realize that the more you defend your sanity, the more it makes me think you are crazy?”

  “Well, I’m not.”

  “Okay,” he said, in a tone that implied he still didn’t believe me.

  I opened my mouth to argue again when someone honked behind me, clearly trying to get into the parking spot I had just vacated. I waved my hand, telling them I heard them and to keep their pants on.

  I wanted to say something poignant, or at the very least, something interesting. When I opened my mouth, all that came out was, “Bye.”

  I didn’t wait for him to reply and drove off, parking in the next available parking spot. Today was just one messed up thing after another, and I could not wait for it to be over.

  Chapter 6 - Eve

  Every week, with the exceptions of the times we went out, the Golden Girls met at one of our houses or apartments. We decided that it would be easier for each of us to host every week instead of piling it on one person. We’d decided that Thursdays would be best because Fridays always got all the attention and Thursdays needed more of it. Today being Thursday, it was our turn to host. And by our, I meant mostly Maddie’s. For someone who didn’t enjoy being around people, she was a great hostess.

  By the time I had closed the bakery, and gotten home around six-thirty, Maddie had already prepared appetizers, entrees, and dessert. All the ingredients for making margarita were lined up on the counter, ready to go. Maddie was leaning against the counter, dipping a piece of shortbread into her wineglass.

  “Is there more wine?” I asked.

  “We’ve got a whole bottle,” she said, handing me the bottle.

  “Great, this is mine now.” I put the bottle to my lips and took a sip. Maddi
e winced. It was not the kind of wine that you drank directly from the bottle. It was the really expensive wine, from Maddie’s family’s vineyard no less.

  “All okay?”

  “Yup.”

  I took another drag from the wine bottle and sighed deeply.

  “Are you sure you’re alright?” Maddie asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

  “Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked insouciantly.

  Maddie waved her hand at me in answer. I looked down at myself. I was covered in flour and chocolate frosting. Yeah, the days hadn’t exactly improved for me. If anything, I was even more distracted.

  “I’m fine. Just a minor mishap at work, nothing some wine and a shower won’t fix,” I said.

  “I know you’re lying or telling me only the partial truth. I’m not so self-involved to not notice when my best friend is upset,” Maddie said, sniffing slightly. I rolled my lips between my teeth to keep from smiling.

  “You’re so self-involved it’s a miracle you can remember my existence,” I teased. She stuck her tongue out at me.

  “You better go shower now before the girls get here,” Maddie said, shooing me out of the kitchen. I took my bottle of wine with me. It was a good thing I wasn’t a wine fanatic, and that I’d had a bad day. Otherwise, Maddie would have asked me to move out simply because I was drinking a fifteen hundred bottle of wine like it was tap water. There was no savoring or opening the bouquet. It was alcohol and I needed alcohol.

  In my room, I placed the wine bottle on the dresser, grabbed a fresh towel from the pile Eugenia, the maid, had left on my bed, and walked across the hallway to the bathroom. My reflection in the mirror made me grimace. My hair, as well as my clothes, were covered in flour and chocolate. Something was to be said about my foul mood because none of my employees had even mentioned the state of my hair, or that I was screwing up left and right.

  I wondered if this was it, and I had hit a wall where my business was concerned. This was how it started. First, you lost a guest spot, then you made a few mistakes at work, and the next thing you knew, you’ve lost the only thing you’ve been passionate about and life is useless.

  I turned away from the mirror and took off my clothes, dropping them in the overflowing hamper. The only thing Eugenia was allowed to launder was my towels. I didn’t plan on having a maid when I got an apartment; if I got an apartment. I didn’t want to get used to having someone do my laundry. Of course, this meant that my clothes frequently went unwashed.

  It was a testament to my crappy days that when I turned on the shower and no water came out, I didn’t even blink. I turned off the tap, turned it on again. Still no water. Sighing dejectedly, I grabbed my silk robe off the back of the door and stalked out of the bathroom.

  “Maddie! Mads! Is there something wrong with the water?” I called as I ran down the stairs. I was about to round the corner to the kitchen when I saw something from the corner of my eye. I came to a sudden halt, looking at the man who was standing in the living room with his back to me.

  Shit. I started to turn around and go back up the stairs but stubbed my damn toe on the bottom step. I cursed under my breath and looked over my shoulder just as the man turned around. My eyes widened, and my jaw dropped open. How the fuck did this keep happening?

  “You,” he said, his eyes widening.

  “That’s my line,” I said, recovering my senses. “What are you doing here?”

  “What are you doing here?” He questioned back.

  “I’m the entertainment for the party. It’s a little side hustle I have going on,” I snarked. Dr. Stranger took in my state of undress, and I tried to stand tall and confident. Which was hard to do in nothing but a silk robe that, big surprise, had cupcakes printed on it. Why did I have so much clothing with cupcakes on it? I wasn’t that crazy. Yet.

  “You almost make me sorry I’m not staying,” he said, looking back up at me. My body heated, and I made a sound like a squeak. Was he flirting with me? The gleam in his eyes said yes, he was. Oh my god, Dr. Stranger was flirting with me! After I almost ran him over with my mother’s car. If I ever have been at a disadvantage with a man, it was now. I wasn’t even fully dressed, and he was standing there looking scrumptious in grey dress pants and a white button-down, the sleeves of which he had rolled up. What was he doing in my house?

  “Why are you in my house? Are you suing me because of what happened the other day?” I asked, stalking closer to him. His eyes, the same blue as the ocean, looked around the room we were standing in.

  “This is your house? The baking business has been good to you,” he said admiringly, ignoring my second question.

  I flushed. “Well, technically, this is Maddie’s house. But I do live here. Does Maddie know you’re here? Why are you here? Are you stalking me or suing me?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Haven’t we gone over the whole stalking thing? And what exactly am I supposed to be suing you for?”

  “To answer your first question, that was before I found you in my living room. As for the second, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

  He cleared his throat. Rubbed his forehead. Grimaced. Shrugged lightly.

  “I’m here to drop off my sister,” he said. “Her car is in the shop.”

  My mind had turned to mush sometime this afternoon. It was the only reason it took a solid two minutes of blinking up at this stranger in my living room before I finally registered what he had said. He was dropping off his sister. The only people expected tonight were the Golden Girls. Out of the seven of us, only three of us had brothers. Me, Clarissa, and Sienna. We’d all met Clarissa’s younger brothers. That only left Sienna.

  “Oh god,” I whispered, through suddenly numb lips.

  “Are you okay?” He asked. Except, he wasn’t just a random ‘he’ I had met. I knew his name. It was right there in the back of my mind because Sienna had mentioned it before. Mostly in complaints. This was her older brother, standing in front of me.

  “Oh god. This is horrifying.”

  “Yes, how will you ever recover?”

  “You’re…Daniel,” I said, looking up at me. His name came to me as if from a dream. And now that I said it aloud, it was almost as if there was no one else he could be.

  Daniel gave me a pleased smile. “I’m flattered you remember me from all of Sienna’s complaints.”

  “You’re Sienna’s brother.”

  “Yes,” he said, his brows furrowing. He tilted his head, no doubt wondering if I had a disability that made it hard for me to grasp things the first time around.

  “She’s your sister.”

  “That is how sibling relationships work.”

  He—Daniel placed his hands on my shoulders, startling me. The heat of his hands seeped through the thin silk of my robe and down to my very bones. It was only then I remembered that the only thing keeping me from standing naked in front of Daniel was a thin, short piece of fabric. I made a quiet sound of protest. Or was it a moan? Please don’t let me have moaned. Could I embarrass myself any further in front of this man?

  “Take a deep breath,” Daniel said, in a deep, calm voice. I didn’t even think to protest. His tone carried a quiet command that made me feel safe, that implied he was in control and he knew exactly what he was doing. His eyes were so starkly blue, for a moment, all I could do was stare.

  “Breathe, Eve,” he commanded again. He took a deep breath, and I mimicked him. He did it again, and again, until I felt slightly less panicked and more in command of my faculties. Involuntarily, my eyes dropped down to his mouth. It was instinct or something. He was a really attractive man, so naturally, I wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

  Daniel’s breathing slowed, and my eyes moved back up to his. The knowing look there told me he knew what I was thinking. Was it just me or did he move in a little closer? I think he did. So, I moved in a little closer as well.

  “What are you doing?”

  I let out a loud yelp, stumbling back and away from Daniel. I
whirled around, my eyes meeting Maddie’s bewildered green ones. I opened my mouth, closed it, and opened it again. My brain had decided that it had experienced too much trauma and decided to take a leave of absence. I placed a hand on my wildly beating heart.

  “This is Daniel,” I said, pointing at him.

  Maddie blinked once. “We’ve met.”

  “Daniel is Sienna’s brother.”

  “How much of that wine did you drink?” Maddie asked. Her eyes trailed down my front. “And why are you in your robe, and why is it open?”

  “What?!” I looked down in horror to see that the sash of my robe had loosened. I was one slight move away from flashing my entire left breast to Daniel.

  “Oh my god,” I cried. I turned away, tightening my robe. Was Lucifer himself writing my every encounter with Daniel? I bet it wasn’t the nice version of him, either. Not the one from Supernatural or the crime-solving one from that other show. I bet it was the real, literal devil. If anything was going to make me believe in his existence, it was this.

  “Maybe I should go,” Daniel said slowly. “Can you please tell Sienna I had to leave?”

  “That is such a man thing to say. Do you people ever want to do anything your own? Or do you just expect women to wait hand and foot on you?” Maddie asked.

  I choked back on laughter.

  “What? No. That’s not…I mean…” Daniel struggled to explain himself. He had turned adorably red. Here he was, facing one of the most beautiful women in the world, who thought he was a misogynist. Anything he said to explain himself could be misconstrued.

  “Mads, I don’t think he’s ready for your kind of snarky humor,” I said, coming to his rescue.

  Mads threw her hands in the air with all the drama of a former London theater actress.

  “Oh, alright. Yes, you may go, and I will inform Sienna that you had to leave.”

  She turned to me. “This is why I don’t like people. They’re so delicate.”

  “And you’re famously not people.”

  “Everyone knows I’m a genetically engineered clone of my mother.”