Mind the Gap (In Too Deep)

by Casey McMillin

  I came really close to asking Brit to come with me, but as you can probably guess, I thought it was too soon for something like that. As an only child, my parents were all up in my business, and they would have gone crazy for details if I had brought a girl home for Christmas. My mom was a little on edge when it came to me dating again. She always asked me if "I had anyone new in my life?" and when she said it, it always seemed like she was hoping I'd say no. She was a little overprotective to say the least.

  My parents tried for years, but were unable to have children. They adopted me as an infant from a girl who thought she was too young to raise a child. Sheila, my adopted mom asked me several times if I wanted to try it get in touch with my birth mom, and I always said no. Sheila and Doug had done an awesome job raising me, and a little piece of me felt like it would be a slap in their face if I wanted to connect with my birth parents. That, plus I just didn't really have the desire to. I figured if my birth mom wanted to meet me she would have made an effort by then. It wasn't like I was bitter about it or anything, I was happy with the life I had, and thankful to my birth mom for finding such good parents to raise me. Anyway, long story short, that's why my parents were overprotective. (Well, that, and they saw how ugly things were with Kayla.)

  All this to explain why it was already past dinnertime on Christmas Eve and I still hadn't mentioned Brit. My parents had no idea I was seeing someone, and to be honest, I thought it was a possibility to make it through the entire holiday without telling them. It wasn't that I didn't like Brit, because I did. I just felt like telling my parents about it sort of locked me in, and that was really scary.

  I came out into the living room at 8PM on Christmas Eve. Mom was sitting at the bar looking through a sales flyer from Bed Bath and Beyond, and dad was sitting back in the recliner with a bottle of beer literally resting on his belly. He almost never lounged around like that, so I had to give him a hard time.

  "Taking it on down, huh?" I said. I was on my way out the door, but I figured they'd want details, so I resigned to hang out with them for a few before I left. I sank back onto the couch with a huff.

  "Where you going looking so handsome? Five Star is the only place that's open this late on Christmas Eve, I'll bet."

  "I'm going to San Diego. Ethan knows some place that throws a big Christmas Eve party every year. You have to wear a tie. I wouldn't have gotten dressed like this to go to a gas station, Mom."

  My mom narrowed her eyes at me for making fun of her. "I saw Mrs. Erickson the other day at Trader Joe's. We talked about Ethan and the Olympics. She's so proud. She said Ethan's seeing one girl now. Did you know that? Do you know her?" I nodded, and she continued. "Is she at their house for Christmas?" I was almost certain my mom already knew that if she'd just had a conversation with Mrs. Erickson, but she liked to dialogue with me so I indulged her. "Her name's Emily, and I think Ethan's in love." I shrugged. "And, yeah, she's with him at his parents'. She'll be with us tonight."

  "You smell so good, sweetheart," my mom said, settling in next to me on the couch. She looked up at me with an earnest expression. "Please don't drink and try to come back home. Just get a ride to Ethan's and stay there. I'd rather you be safe. We can pick you up and bring you to your truck in the morning."

  I had to roll my eyes a little and tell her I wouldn't even think about driving drunk, but I was glad she loved me enough to try to present me with a battle plan as I was heading out the door. I promised to be smart, and hugged them both.

  I met Ethan and Emily at his house and we went to the party. It was through a non-profit that Ethan's mom worked with, and the guests were people I didn't know despite spending the past eight years in San Diego, and going out quite a bit. The place was packed, and so far that evening, I'd only seen two people I knew besides Ethan and Emily. It was fun though. Everyone I'd met was nice, the food was free, and the bartenders were liberal with their shots.

  One of the two people I'd seen was my old friend Eli from work, and I was talking to him when Ethan came to stand next to me. Ethan reached out to put a hand on my shoulder. "Emily and I are gonna take off, but you're stuck here if we leave."

  "I might stay and hang out with Eli for a little bit before I head back," I said. "I'm sure I can get a ride to your mom's house."

  Ethan looked at Eli to see if he'd give me a ride.

  "I'll get him home," Eli promised. "I can't be out too late anyway, my mama gonna trip if I sleep till noon on Christmas."

  I smiled at the idea of Eli being worried about what his mama would think. "It's all good," I told Ethan. "Just leave the door open for me, if you don't mind and I'll crash in that downstairs bedroom."

  "My mom gets up at the crack of dawn, so wear earplugs. They're in the bed side table."

  "You actually keep earplugs down there?"

  "Yeah," Ethan said, "and you need to use them. In fact, I'm surprised you didn't already know they were there since you've crashed in that bedroom before. You need to protect yourself if you sleep down there. My mom isn't a quiet person, and it's gonna be even worse on Christmas. I'll leave a note telling her you're in there, though. She won't bother you… other than the noise."

  "Thanks man." I gave him and Emily both partial hugs and they took off.

  It was almost midnight, and I'd been talking to Eli for a good thirty minutes when it happened—something I never in a million years thought would happen there, and certainly not at the end of the night. I was scanning the crowded room when I noticed my ex, Kayla. The blood literally rushed out of my head at the sight of her. It was then I understood the meaning of lightheaded.

  I blinked, bringing her in and out of focus as if it would somehow be someone else if I tried again. Fucking mother fucking bitch-ass Kayla. I took a deep, calming breath, knowing she couldn't see me clearly from her vantage point. I came extremely close to turning and making my way to the nearest exit without so much as a word to Eli. I could have figured out what to do for a ride once she was out of my sight. I tried really hard to walk out of the room, I really did, but I couldn't make my feet move.

  "What's up, dude?" Eli asked, noticing my stunned expression.

  I nodded in Kayla's direction. He knew her since we'd been friends when she and I were together. "Oh, shit, Josh. Whatchu gon do?"

  "I haven't figured that out yet," I said. I stared at the people in her vicinity, trying to see if he was with her. Just then, a tall, lanky character with black, plastic hipster glasses came up and placed a glass of wine in her hand. He was holding one of those dainty glasses of white wine for himself too, and I longed to whip his little pansy ass.

  "Come on, Josh. Let's go on home," Eli said, noticing my blood pressure change.

  That would have obviously been the wise thing to do. I just couldn't make myself do it. I had to stay there a little longer. It wasn't that I wanted to confront them or anything, but I had to check them out for a second, just for the sake of curiosity. Part of me wanted to try to figure out what she saw in him, since the initial visual of him had me highly offended. I was much better looking than that clown.

  Kayla randomly looked in my direction, and I saw the very instant she recognized me. Her gaze shifted around the room nervously before returning to me. She looked like a deer in headlights, and it didn't take any time at all for her new husband to look in the direction she was staring and figure out what was going on.

  He started walking toward me (oh, hell no), so I set my glass of water on the table behind me. Kayla was grabbing at him, trying to make him stop, but he kept coming. I could take out this ass clown in a matter of seconds, and he was walking at me all swole up like he thought he could actually take me.

  "Oh shit," Eli said for the second time. "He comin over here."

  "Listen here, I'm not scared of you and your threats, mister."

  I couldn't help but smile. Had he just called me mister? Wow.

  "I don't know what you think is funny," he said, "but I'm not messing around. I heard what you said, and
I'm not afraid of you."

  Then, before I even knew what was happening, he reached past me onto the table, picked up my cell phone, and dropped it into my glass of water.

  "What the fuck?" I asked, bowing up and staring a hole through him. I hadn't been quiet about it, and more than one person turned to look in our direction.

  "This man is threatening me, and it's not the first time," he said, loud enough for several people to hear. It was noisy in there, and most everybody was drinking, so nobody was really paying that much attention to us.

  "If you can't get quiet, I won't just be threatening you, I'll be hurting you," I said.

  "Hear that ladies and gentlemen? He'll be hurting me," he said, dramatizing every word.

  I wanted to hit him right there. Just one right hand to the jaw, or maybe a hook to the ribs—either would have felt great.

  He got close to me so only I could hear him speak. "If you have something to say to me, say it outside, like a man."

  Could this really be happening? Was this asshole really picking a fight with me? It was like a dream come true. Well, not really. Believe it or not, I hadn't really fantasized about hitting him since I'd been with Brit. I was starting to think the guy had done me a favor by taking Kayla off my hands. But, since he was the one instigating the fight…

  "You sure you want to do that?" I asked. I was barely speaking above a whisper because he was up in my face. Plus, I didn't want an audience when I smashed his face in.

  "You're gonna learn not to mess with me," he said.

  I smiled at the thought of how much fun this was going to be. I didn't even care about my phone at that point. It was worth it as far as I was concerned.

  "Oh, hell, it's about to go down," Eli said, taking the last sip of his drink.

  We went to a dark side of the building near a dumpster. Kayla didn't come out. I figured she was still giving him the silent treatment, hoping that would make him change his mind. He had one guy with him and I had one guy with me. The idiot seemed really anxious to fight, which made me wonder just how delusional he was. I almost felt bad for him. I took off my tie and tossed it on the ground next to Eli.

  Before I even had the chance to focus my attention in front of me, I heard the guy screeching some sort of war cry. My head whipped around to see him charging toward me like a mad man. Before I could react, he was barreling into my side in a full run. He made impact with me before I even knew what was going on. I was so taken aback by his spaz-oid moves that it took a second for me to register the searing pain that was now taking over my whole left side. I looked down to see the end of a wine glass sticking out of the front of my shoulder. There was about an inch of stem on the outside, and I had no guess at how much was on the inside. I looked at the guy who'd just put it there, unable to believe I'd just been stabbed.

  "That's what fucking happens when you threaten me," he said. "Take that as a lesson not to mess with me, and we'll be okay." He was looking at me with smug satisfaction as if the fight was over, but that glass was in my left shoulder and my right hand was primed and ready to make contact with his face.

  I leaned back to gain momentum then I laid into him with a right hook, pivoting at the waist and using the force of my entire body. My fist made contact with his jaw, and he went completely limp and fell to the ground in a heap. I actually considered continuing to pound on him while he was lying there unconscious. The wine glass sticking out of my shoulder almost pissed me off enough to do it. I couldn't help but regret not making the fight last longer. His buddy knelt down next to him in a panic, trying to get him to come around as Eli and I decided what to do with the glass in my shoulder.

  "You gonna press charges for that?" Eli asked, pointing at the end of the glass.

  I shook my head. "No. I think he's hurt worse than me if you want to know the truth. I'm pretty sure I broke his jaw." I pointed at the sleeping figure on the ground. His buddy was slapping his cheeks. Without even thinking, I started to pull the glass out of my shoulder.

  "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't just take that thing out like that, Josh, you must be trippin right now," Eli said. "You gotta have a mother fucking professional take that out. There's all kinds of veins that run right there, son. I don't need you bleeding out right here by the trashcan."

  I looked down at the glass, and realized he might be right. I breathed a heavy sigh, resigned to go to the hospital to let them remove it safely. Eli drove me to the emergency room in spite of my offers to take a cab. I wasn't about to call Ethan, or my mom, or anybody else for that matter, at midnight on Christmas.

  We were at the hospital until six in the morning. The procedure itself was relatively quick, but the whole hospitalization and release process took a while. Eli stayed with me the whole time, which I was so thankful for, because I was exhausted and delirious. He was too, but at least there were two of us. He dropped me off at Ethan's. I took a pain pill, and wrote Ethan a note that said I was sleeping in.

  I did just that. I slept till 2PM the next day. One of the first things I did was call my mom. I told her the highlights of what had happened, making sure she knew my phone was destroyed in the fight. I told her I would drive back to Lake Elsinore later that evening.

  That afternoon passed in a blur, thanks to the pain pills. I wouldn't normally have taken them, but some deep tissue was disturbed since about three inches of glass had gone into my shoulder. The doctors showed it to me. That wanker had strategically broken the stem, making it a weapon. It had a sharp tip and everything.

  Ethan ended up driving my truck to Lake Elsinore that evening since I was still a little loopy. Emily followed in Ethan's car, and they went straight to L.A. after they dropped me off. They said they were planning on heading back anyway, so it wasn't a big deal to make a little detour. I decided to stay one more night at my parents place since I was so out of it.

  Chapter 23

  Brit

  "Collin, can I please use your phone to try to call Josh's mom and see what's going on?" I held out my shaking hand, not intending to take no for an answer.

  He put his phone in my hand. "It's under Sheila Rand," he said, "but I doubt she's gonna pick up because I tired to do the same thing myself when I first read the text."

  Gretchen was playing some game about a pickle, but at that point, I couldn't have cared less about games or anything else that didn't involve finding out what happened to Josh. I gave him a worried smile as I walked to the next room to make the phone call. I found her name and pressed call. I was nearly breathless with nerves as I waited for her to pick up.

  Mrs. Rand: "Hey Collin, I'm sorry I missed you. I was on the phone with Eli when you called, he was checking in on Josh."

  Me: "This is actually Brit. I'm just using Collin's phone."

  I suddenly regretted calling her. What if Josh hadn't mentioned me at all and she had no idea who I was.

  Mrs. Rand: (after a pause) "I'm sorry sweetheart. Is this Collin's wife?"

  Me: "No ma'am. My name's Brit. Collin told me Josh was hurt, and I wanted to call and check on him. Is there any way I could talk to him?"

  Another long pause occurred at that time, which had me feeling like Josh probably hadn't told her a thing about me.

  Mrs. Rand "It was really kind of you to call and check on Josh, but I'm afraid he's taking a nap."

  Me: "Is he okay? What happened?"

  Mrs. Rand: "To tell you the truth, I didn’t get the whole story. I know that he ran into his ex-wife, and there was an altercation with Josh and the guy she's married to now. From what Josh says, the guy stabbed him with a piece of glass in the shoulder during the fight."

  Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt a sudden and extreme wave of depression at the thought of him fighting over his ex-wife. She said some other words but I was too stunned and confused to listen to them. When she paused again, I figured it was my turn to speak.

  Me: "Is he badly injured?"

  It was the best thing I could come up with when all I wa
nted to do was hang up, give Collin's phone back, and drive straight home where I could be alone.

  Mrs. Rand: "I don't believe it's too bad. The dressing is still on it so I haven't seen it, but he said it's no big deal."

  That statement made me even angrier. If it was no big deal why couldn't Josh pick up the phone and call me? That wasn't really the issue, though, now was it? The real issue was that he was still so hung up over his emmer effing ex-wife that he got into a shoulder-stabbing fistfight over her.

  Me: "Okay, that's good to hear. I was just calling to check on him."

  I was trying to sound as aloof as I could.

  Mrs. Rand: "Well, I appreciate you calling, sweetie, I'll tell Josh you called. What was your name again?"

  Me: "Oh, I was just calling for Collin. He was busy, but wanted to see how Josh was doing. I volunteered to get the scoop for everybody."

  Mrs. Rand: "Okay, well tell Collin he's sleeping it off, but he should be fine soon."

  Me: "Thanks, I'll tell him."

  Mrs. Rand: "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

  Me: "You too."

  It was like I was in a dream. I was in the formal dining room of Gretchen's parent's house, and in order to get home I had to make it through a room full of people who were laughing and carrying on. Not to mention, they would all be wanting an update on Josh. What was I going to say? I had to tell them the truth. I had to tell them the very embarrassing news that Josh got in a fight over his ex-wife. That was going to be extremely hard for me to do, especially since I had tears welling up in my eyes.

  I would have given just about anything to be transported to my apartment in my bedroom where I could just cry my eyes out and not have to speak to anyone, but that really wasn't an option. I was blinking up at the ceiling trying to dry my tears when Collin came in the dining room.

  "You okay, Brit?"

  "Yeah," I said, a little startled at his sudden appearance. "I was just finishing up a conversation… I was just talking to Josh's mom. She said he's fine and it's no big deal. There's nothing to worry about." I tried to smile but I knew it looked forced and teary-eyed.