Three Days

by Ariadne Wayne

  Maddy didn’t even notice; she had her own exhaustion to take care of. Carly was a feeding, pooping machine and I did my best to help Maddy, but we were both so damn tired.

  “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” she said. “What happens when the baby doesn’t sleep?”

  I shrugged. After the birth, I’d taken a couple of weeks off work to be with my family, but now I was back on the job and almost sleeping through work. Something had to get better. Anything.

  And then, like an angel, my mother arrived, and did all those things Carly would have done for Maddy. She had that magic touch with the baby and we finally managed to get some shut-eye.

  Not only did I admire Maddy for what she’d gone through, but also I had a whole new appreciation for Mum.

  We were finally back on track.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  Three years later …

  Life was not all roses with us, not by a long shot.

  Maddy was pregnant for the second time. This time we’d planned it, waiting for Carly to be a little older before trying for another baby, and it was hitting Maddy much harder.

  Her mood swings were more prominent, and I never knew what I was going to encounter coming home from work each day. Carly never saw it. Maddy was consistent in her attitude toward her, but I was the one she took everything out on.

  I understood. A lot of it was her missing her mother more than ever. Getting through Carly’s birth and the early days had been hard. Logan would come and see her sometimes, always planning his visits when he knew I’d be home to avoid any misunderstanding. He had a family of his own now, so visits were few and far between. Most of the time, it was just the two of us.

  Maddy was often exhausted, but resistant to sending Carly to day-care, even for part of the day. I backed off and left her to it, working out a way to bring work home so I could support her if she needed me.

  By the time she got to ten weeks, she was on edge and resisting going back to the doctor, confident it was just a matter of time before she felt better. It drove me nuts, but I’d learned a long time ago not to try to force her hand, not unless she was in danger.

  I should have done it anyway.

  It was Friday night, and the end of a long week for me. Work was busier than ever, and my head was throbbing with everyone making demands.

  “Daddy, I’m hungry,” Carly whined, five minutes after I’d arrived home.

  “I’m just going to make us some dinner, sweetheart. You snuggle up with Mum on the couch, and I’ll bring you something shortly.”

  I rested my hand on Maddy’s shoulder. “Do you want anything in particular? If Carly’s already hungry, I might just cook scrambled eggs and bacon.”

  “Whatever,” she grumbled.

  Taking a deep breath, I headed to the kitchen. Small footsteps told me Carly had followed.

  “Mummy’s tired.”

  I bent, tapping her on the nose. “I know, sweetie. We have to take really good care of her.”

  “She’s grumpy.”

  I opened my arms, hugging her as she came closer. “It’s okay, Carly. She’ll be happier soon. She’s just feeling a bit yucky at the moment.”

  She nodded. “Can I have chicken nuggets?” Her favourite food, and my running joke with Maddy, as when Carly had them for dinner she always seemed happier and slept better, leaving us more time alone.

  I laughed. “I’m going to cook eggs. They cook much faster. I know you like those too.”

  “Eggs are from chickens.”

  “That’s right. So not unlike a chicken nugget.” I knew I was stretching it; I just hoped that I’d gotten my three-year-old logic right.

  “Okay,” she said. She pulled away from me, skipping back to the living room and her mother.

  Dinner didn’t take long to cook at all, and the aroma of grilled bacon filled the house, smelling delicious.

  I carried out two plates of scrambled eggs on toast and bacon for my girls. Carly clapped excitedly as I placed one down in front of her. Maddy clapped her hand across her mouth, moaning as she ran for the bathroom.

  “Mummy’s sick,” Carly said. She hadn’t even bothered with the fork I’d put on her plate, her small hand was wrapped around a slice of streaky bacon.

  “Yes, she is.” I sighed. Poor Maddy couldn’t cut a break.

  I followed her to the bathroom. She was leaned over the toilet, and with nothing in her stomach, wasn’t getting anywhere.

  “Can I get you anything to help?” I asked.

  “The smell of that food made me want to hurl,” she said. “Not that there’s anything wrong with your cooking.”

  “I’m glad of that, at least.” I ran my fingers through her hair, pulling it back off her face and into a ponytail in one hand. She was warm, and I put my hand to her neck to feel just how warm she was.

  Fishing for the ear thermometer in the top drawer, I finally found it, gently inserting it in her ear just as she retched.

  “What the hell are you doing?” She grumped, pulling away from me as it beeped.

  “You’re warm. I’m just checking to see if you’re okay.” I studied the piece of metal. Her temperature was up slightly, but nothing too worrying. “I think you’re okay.” I reached back into the drawer for a hair elastic, tying her hair up off her face.

  “I’m so awful and you are so good to me.” Maddy reached up, stroking my hand.

  “No, you’re just pregnant and having a shitty time of it. It’ll get better. Do you want anything else?”

  Her smile paled in brilliance against any one of the beautiful grins she’d ever given me.

  “No. I’m just going to sit here for a minute and then I’ll come back out. Can you get rid of the plate and let me know when Carly’s finished?”

  “You know by the time I’m back out there, Carly will have eaten your bacon too.”

  Maddy laughed. “I bet anything you’re right.”

  ~

  She’d smiled through the rest of the evening, fooling Carly that everything was okay right up until bedtime.

  Carly had gone to sleep without complaint as she usually did, and I went back out to the living room where Maddy sat, still and miserable.

  “How are you really feeling?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “Like crap. Really uncomfortable and crampy.”

  “Do you think we should get you looked at by a doctor?”

  She stood. “I think I really want a good night’s sleep.”

  “Come on then.” I stood beside her, placing my palm on her cheek.

  “Oh, stop it, Andrew. Stop fussing. I’ll be fine.”

  “I’m allowed to fuss. You’re my wife and that’s my baby you’re carrying. Whatever it takes to make you feel better.”

  She pulled away, turning towards the bedroom.

  “Just leave me alone. I’ll get some sleep and maybe I’ll be better in the morning.”

  I sighed, and turned to sit back on the couch, knowing I couldn’t win.

  “I’m sorry if I make you unhappy.” Her words pierced my heart. That was the opposite of how I felt.

  “You make me very happy; you have no idea how much you changed my life.”

  “The only reason you married me was because I was pregnant,” she shrieked, and we both just stood there in stunned silence, the words hanging heavy in the air.

  “That’s not true.” I took a step towards her, looking for something in her eyes, anything that told me she had just said it, not believed it.

  “Of course it is, Andrew.” She sounded resigned, tired, over it all.

  “Maddy, if you think for one minute that is the only reason we stayed together, you are so wrong. This whole being-sick thing is overwhelming. We need to see a doctor tomorrow. It’s just too much.”

  Tears streamed down her face, her arms flat against her side in resignation. “I bullied you into this, pushed you into having a relationship with me. You’re in love with your dead wife, and I just remind you of her sometimes. I’m not stupid.�
��

  In an instant, I had her in my arms, my lips on hers, hoping against hope that my need for her would translate in my kiss. Surely she could see if I hadn’t wanted to be with her, I would never have wanted the baby that now grew inside her, let alone Carly. They were my life, everything to me, and I needed her to understand that.

  There was pressure on my chest from the palms of her hands as she tried to push me away, but I wasn’t about to let go of her now. This had clearly been building for a long time, and was so far from the truth.

  “Don’t fight me,” I whispered. “I love you, Maddy, whatever you think. You and Carly are everything to me, and I’m not just with you because of her. I’m with you because I love you.” She relaxed and the pressure against my ribs eased as I stroked her hair. “Why don’t we go to bed and get some sleep? You’ve been so tired and cranky with this pregnancy, and I want to pamper you, make you feel better.”

  Her body went limp as she surrendered, and I let her go, taking her hand in mine and leading her into the bedroom.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I feel so awful all the time right now, and you are the last person I should be taking it out on. I didn’t mean it. Any of it.”

  She put her arms up as I lifted her T-shirt over her head, just like I did when helping Carly get into her pyjamas.

  “That’s what I’m here for. You can yell and scream at me as much as you like, but I’m going nowhere. I’m right where I want to be.”

  I slid her nightgown over her head, pulling her leggings down as it fell over her legs.

  “Get into bed. Want a back rub?”

  She nodded, leaning against my chest, slipping her arms around my waist. “You’re so good to me and I’m just being a bitch to you.”

  “If I was worried about that, I never would have married you.” She raised her face to look at me, one eyebrow raised, and I grinned back at her. “You’re stuck with me, baby. Always.”

  She lifted her nose in the air. “I guess I can live with that.”

  “Now, get in bed and I’ll go and make you a hot chocolate. That should help you sleep. Then back rub, cuddle, and sleep.”

  Maddy climbed into bed, screwing up her face at me. She formed a circle with her thumb and index finger, poking through it with her other index finger. “Don’t you want to do this?”

  I laughed all the way out to the kitchen. Maybe we were having a rocky time, but the love was there and just as strong as it had been all this time.

  We had to find our way back to it.

  ~

  She was sitting up in bed when I got back, fighting the urge to sleep, her head nodding as her eyelids dropped, then springing back open as she looked up again.

  “Get this down you and we’ll get some rest. Gotta look after my girl.”

  Running her finger around the rim of the mug, she stared into it. “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want me as your girl.”

  I slipped between the sheets, and reached up to stroke her arm. “You’ll always be my girl, Maddy. None of this shit matters. We can argue to the moon and back and I’ll be here. You don’t have any reason to be insecure or doubt me. Since the day I saw you on those stairs, all I’ve ever seen is you.”

  Her eyes were full of sadness as she turned her head to look at me. “I’m still sorry.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry about. We promised to stick together through good times and bad. That’s all that matters.”

  Every sip she took, her eyes closed just that little bit more and I took the mug from her when she’d drained the cup.

  “Can I get a rain check on that back rub?” she asked.

  She rested her head on the pillow as I nodded. I smiled, sliding my arm over her. “Sleep well, sweetheart.”

  I watched as she fell asleep, her expression finally peaceful as she got the rest she needed. Her pregnancy with Carly had been so carefree; this one had been trouble from day one. I could only hope it would get better.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  “Andrew.”

  I stirred, her hands pushing at my arm to wake me. The faint light from the bedside lamp illuminated the room enough for me to see her leaning over me, her face crossed with worry.

  “What is it?” I pushed myself up into a seating position.

  “Something’s wrong. I’ve got this really sharp pain and I’m bleeding.” She was pale, tears staining her cheeks, and I wondered how long she’d put up with it before waking me.

  “Okay.” I was already out of bed before I finished the word, pulling on a shirt and grabbing some pants.

  “What are you doing?”

  “We’re getting you to the hospital.”

  She just sat there, looking up at me.

  “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get your bathrobe on and get out of here,” I said, stroking her face with my finger.

  “But Carly …”

  “Carly will just have to come with us. I’ll grab her and get her in the car. Take your time and I’ll come back.”

  Maddy nodded, grabbing hold of my hand. “I’m scared,” she whispered. My heart was racing, but I couldn’t show her just how terrified I was. I had to be calm.

  “Me too. So let’s get you somewhere you can be taken care of.”

  My baby girl was dreaming when I went to get her, and she sank her head onto my shoulder as soon as I picked her up, still sleeping.

  “Sorry, Carly. We gotta go for a drive now,” I whispered.

  I grabbed the fleecy blanket from her bed, snuggling it around her while I carried her out to the garage, leaving the door open to the house so Maddy could follow. I strapped Carly into her seat, placing the blanket on top of her. She stirred, looking up before her head fell to rest on the side of her seat. At least she wouldn’t be freaking out at her mother’s discomfort.

  I ran back to the bedroom, entering just as Maddy clutched at her stomach. She doubled over as she leaned on the bed.

  “Hey,” I whispered, placing a hand on her back. I walked around the bed, picking up my wallet and phone.

  “Wait a minute. I just need this to stop hurting and then I can move.” She closed her eyes, intense concentration all over her face as she rode it out.

  “Want me to carry you to the car?” She looked up at me, shaking her head, but her eyes were so full of pain that I ignored her, bending to pick her up.

  She stared out of the window as I jumped in the driver’s side. “Let’s get you to a doctor.”

  We all sat in silence, apart from Carly’s occasional snore. I glanced at Maddy, smiling at the similarities between her and Carly. She looked so serious, more so than I’d seen her in a long time. The past few weeks we’d fought like cat and dog, but whatever happened tonight had stopped that in its tracks.

  How long has she been feeling awful?

  Her hand landed softly on my arm. “Don’t speed. We all want to get there in one piece.” Her breathing was laboured, and I just knew she was in more discomfort than she let on.

  I wanted to put my foot down, drive as fast as I could. Anything to get her there and under medical care. I held back, because she was right, and because I carried the most precious cargo I ever could.

  Carly had woken by the time we got to the hospital, and I parked as close as I could, carrying her as Maddy walked beside me. It felt like an eternity passed between getting out of the car and getting to the hospital door, Maddy was walking so slowly. If I could, I would have carried them both in.

  Thankfully, there was a wheelchair just inside the door, and I helped Maddy into it, placing Carly down to walk. If we hadn’t been somewhere new and bright, she might have grumbled, but there was far too much to look at as we made the short trip to the accident and emergency department.

  A nurse greeted us as we came in and took us straight to a bed, where she and I helped Maddy lie down. Calling for a doctor, she started checking Maddy over while I filled in the paperwork. Carly sat beside me, leaning against my arm.

  It took what fe
lt like an age for them to decide to give her an ultrasound, but as soon as they did that, they found the problem.

  “Your pregnancy is ectopic. What that means—” the doctor started.

  “I know what that means, I’m not stupid,” Maddy snapped.

  I placed my hand on her arm. “Babe, let the doctor speak. At least if it’s confirmed they can deal with it.”

  She pouted.

  “Maddy, I know you’re cranky and in pain. They can help.”

  She nodded, looking up at the doctor. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay, Mrs Carmichael. We are going to have to perform surgery to avoid anything happening.”

  “Will I lose the fallopian tube?” she asked.

  He sat on the bed at her feet. “I can’t answer that until we’ve taken a look. It might be that the pregnancy is ending itself, given your symptoms tonight.”

  “All this has just made me so bitchy,” she said.

  “Bitchier,” I said it before I even thought the word, and was relieved when she laughed.

  “I’m sorry, Andrew. I knew something wasn’t quite right, but didn’t know what it was. I just thought this was hitting me harder than with Carly.”

  I took her hand in mine. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is making sure you’re well again.”

  After admitting her, I helped her into a wheelchair and a nurse pushed her down the corridor towards the room where they would prepare her for surgery.

  Carly grew heavy in my arms as she fell back to sleep. I was tired, stressed beyond belief, an ache starting in my stomach and spreading to my chest. If I stopped for a moment, I’d fall apart, but I couldn’t do that in front of Maddy. She was scared enough for both of us.

  Maddy climbed from the wheelchair to the bed, and as much as I loved having my daughter in my arms for reassurance, I wanted to hold my wife.