Help Me, Hold Me: Full Heart Ranch Series #5

by Barbara Gee

  “I can’t now,” she said, glad for an excuse. “I have to get back to the barn. But I will soon, I promise.”

  Boone skated away but Vince stayed put. “I’ll hold you to it. Seeing in you in skates is one of my fantasies, you know.”

  Her cheeks got warm. “Stop, Vince. I’m going to stink it up on the ice, there’s no doubt about that.”

  “You might be surprised.” He straightened up, his hands remaining on the wall. “How’s Jeremiah this morning?”

  “He was still in bed when I left. I called the nurse a while ago and she said he’s up, but really tired and weak.”

  “Shoot. I keep hoping he’ll have another really good day.”

  Callie nodded sadly. “Me too, but to be honest, I’m starting to think he’s not going to have another day like last Sunday. That might have been his last big hurrah. He’s still talking about that ride on Apollo, though, thanks to you.” She smiled, appreciating the memory just as much as her grandpa did.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t make it over for dinner last night.”

  At her urging, he’d gone to a get together at the Desmonds with Boone. They’d all wanted Callie to come too, but even though Jeremiah was tolerating the nurses okay, she didn’t feel she should be gone twice in one day. Plus, her time with him was ticking away. She needed to make the most of what they had left.

  “It’s okay. I’m glad you hung out with everyone.” Which was true, but she’d also worried all evening that he’d have so much fun with all the others he wouldn’t look forward to quiet evenings at the Double Nickel as much anymore.

  “It was a good evening, but it would have been so much better if you’d been there.” He smiled into her eyes. “I missed you.”

  And just like that, he put her fears to rest. She returned his smile, her heart full. “Does that mean you might want to come for dinner tonight?”

  “I was planning on it. I’m thinking dinner and a moonlight ride,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “It’s a full moon tonight, you know.”

  She liked the sound of that. In her book, moonlight rides were just about the most romantic thing two people could do.

  “Dinner will be ready at six.”

  “Can you fit me in for lunch again, too, when you’re done with the therapy horses?”

  “Of course,” she said. She looked around to make sure they weren’t being watched, then gave him a quick kiss. “See you at noon.”

  “I’m counting the minutes.”

  She grinned as she turned and walked toward the side door of the rink. “Thanks again for the show,” she called over her shoulder. “I enjoyed every minute. Don’t forget, those corners need some work.”

  She heard his low chuckle as she pushed open the door. Just that simple sound was enough to turn her heart to mush.

  That man.

  ***

  “I’d like to talk with Vince for a little while,” Jeremiah announced when they’d finished eating that evening. Actually, it was when Vince and Callie had finished. Jeremiah himself had only taken two bites of the casserole she’d made.

  “You keeping secrets, Grandpa?” Callie asked, carrying an armful of dishes to the sink.

  “A few, but you’ll know them soon enough.”

  Vince gave him a narrow-eyed look, surprised he’d answered truthfully. Was the man reconsidering keeping what he knew from Callie until after he was gone? Vince looked over to see her reaction, but she didn’t seem to be taking Jeremiah’s admission seriously. She probably thought he was just being witty.

  Jeremiah pushed up from his chair. “Come on into the living room, Vince. Got something I want to discuss.”

  “Let me help Callie clean up the dishes quick.”

  She waved him away. “You don’t have to. It’ll only take a few minutes to get everything in the dishwasher. You two go talk.”

  “Come rescue me if I’m not back in fifteen minutes,” Vince teased, earning a cackle from the departing Jeremiah.

  Vince followed the older man on the familiar route to his recliner. Jeremiah settled into the chair, obviously tired and uncomfortable. For a moment his face twisted in pain and Vince wondered if he was sicker than either he or Callie had realized. Was Jeremiah putting up a good front so they wouldn’t worry so much?

  “You’re not having a good day, huh?” Vince said, sitting down across from him.

  “Been a bad week,” Jeremiah admitted. “Don’t tell Callie I told you that, though. I don’t want her to feel guilty about leaving me here with the nurse. It’s been good for her to get out of the house. It put some sparkle back in her eyes.”

  “You’re a good, unselfish man,” Vince said sincerely.

  “Don’t know about that, but with the way I feel, I decided I better talk to you now in case I can’t later.”

  “Is it about what’s in the safety deposit box?” Vince hadn’t done much speculating about what was in the box, because he knew there was no way he could ever guess. Plus, he figured not knowing was for the best. He was keeping the key a secret from Callie, but at least he didn’t know the life-changing information Jeremiah possessed.

  That might be about to change, however, and he felt the slow creep of dread.

  Jeremiah nodded wearily. “That darned box. I’m still not going to tell you everything, but I should fill you in a little so you’re not completely blind-sided.” His blue eyes fixed on Vince, bleak and tired. “There’s a journal in that box. Written by Callie’s mama. I found it almost a year ago when I was doing some work in the room Tabby used as her bedroom.”

  Vince frowned. “Isn’t that a good thing? I’d imagine Callie would like to have something like that from her mom.”

  “You’d think. Then again, you don’t know what it says.”

  The dread grew stronger. “You gonna tell me?”

  Jeremiah shook his head stubbornly. “Nope. But I decided to tell my lawyer almost a week ago, because I know Callie will have a lot of questions when she reads that journal. Shoot, I have lots of questions myself. I thought I didn’t want to know the answers, so I put it out of my head as much as I could all this time, but something about dying makes me more curious, I reckon. I told Gary I wanted him to do some digging. Find out the details Tabby didn’t write about.”

  “Gary’s your attorney?”

  “Yep. Gary Denton. Son of a good friend of mine.”

  “Did he get you the answers?”

  “Not yet, but he’s tryin’. He did a little research, then decided to hire a private investigator. He said it could be a lot more complicated than I ever thought.”

  Vince ran his knuckles along his jaw. “I’m lost, Jeremiah. How can a long-lost journal warrant hiring a PI?”

  “I’m not gonna tell you that just yet, on account of you not wantin’ to hide things from Callie. I just want to let you know I’ve got Gary diggin’ and I’m gonna tell him if I’m feelin’ poorly when his private investigator gives him the scoop, he’s to share everything he found out with you. Then, when the time comes, you and Gary can tell Callie together.”

  “Is this going to affect Callie directly, or is it just something unpleasant about Tabby?” Vince pushed. Suddenly he had a thought. “Wait, is this about her father?”

  Jeremiah grunted. “I wish that’s all it was. He’s a part of it, but only a part. And that’s as much as I’m gonna say about it. Just know that Callie’s gonna need you, son—I’m countin’ on you to be there for her.”

  “Of course I will be, that’s not even a question. I’m just not sure what to think of all this.” Vince rubbed his jaw again, feeling a deep unease about the situation. “I almost wish you hadn’t said anything to me.”

  “I understand that, but I thought it was only fair to warn you this could have a bigger effect on our girl than I ever thought.” Jeremiah sighed and stared straight ahead, his eyes unfocused.

  “It’s not too late to change your mind,” Vince pointed out. “At this point, Callie doesn’t care about finding out about h
er father. She told me that. If she changes her mind in the future, she can hire a PI herself.”

  Jeremiah let his head sink back against the chair. “Like I said, her father’s only part of it. If you knew everything I know, you’d be doing the same thing I am.” He folded his arms across his stomach and let his eyes close. “Gonna grab a quick nap. You and Callie keep it down, ya hear?”

  “I hear,” Vince said softly. He sat there on the sofa for several more minutes as Jeremiah slept, mulling over everything the man had said. Wondering how it was going to affect Callie’s future. And his.

  ***

  Callie hated to do it, but when Jeremiah settled down for a nap after lunch on Friday, she sent a text to Vince telling him she wasn’t going to be able to make the tournament after all.

  Her grandpa was having the worst day yet. He’d stayed in bed until ten o’clock, and had been sitting in his recliner ever since, either dozing off or sitting in silence. He’d managed to drink half a cup of tea, but couldn’t manage more than a single swallow of the supplement drink she’d given him.

  He claimed he wasn’t in too much pain, but Callie wasn’t buying it. His face was pale and pinched, and he was barely moving.

  She was worried sick and very much afraid they were nearing the place she’d been dreading with every part of her being, ever since he’d gotten sick the second time. Although she’d been praying earnestly for the strength to get through the last stage of his illness, she still felt weak and unprepared.

  One of the verses referenced in her devotional that morning had been Isaiah 43:2. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” The words had hit her hard, and she was grateful for the timing of that particular scripture. As usual, God knew what she needed.

  She’d written the verse on one of the index cards she kept in her Bible for that purpose, then put it in her pocket. After taking it out to read at least a half dozen times throughout the morning, she had it memorized. She kept the card in her pocket, though, because when she felt it there, it reminded her to recite the verse in her head. She needed to claim that promise.

  She would have loved to have Vince there with her, but she’d decided to downplay Jeremiah’s condition until after the tournament. Otherwise he’d think he needed to come over, and that would put Boone in a tough spot. Callie didn’t want to disappoint a couple dozen families with a sub-par tournament simply because she was panicking and wanted one of their coaches to be with her.

  She told Vince only that Jeremiah was having a bad day, and she didn’t feel she should leave him. She didn’t tell him she wasn’t going to cancel the nurse she’d scheduled. In fact, she’d called the agency and asked if it was possible to have someone there not only for the evening, but for the whole night. She was that worried.

  As expected, Vince offered to come right away. Callie assured him that wasn’t necessary. She was fine, she just didn’t want to cause Jeremiah any additional stress by leaving. When Vince asked if she was sure, she hesitated, because she wanted more than anything to lean on him. But he was needed at the retreat center more than the Double Nickel right now.

  After a few more texts he agreed to stay for the tournament, but insisted he would come as soon as it was over. He said skipping the after-party and the socializing wouldn’t be a problem.

  Callie didn’t argue. Knowing she’d see him, at least for a little while, would get her through the long hours until then.

  After finishing the text conversation, she stepped outside and called Jeremiah’s doctor. Her grandfather had made it abundantly clear to both her and Dr. Halliday that he didn’t want any more hospital visits, but there were still things they could do to ease the effects of the disease. The doctor had made sure Callie knew she could call him any time, especially if Jeremiah’s pain became unmanageable. Dr. Halliday had even assured her he’d gladly make house-calls, when possible, to ensure Jeremiah’s comfort.

  The nurse who answered the call put the doctor on the phone, and Callie described how Jeremiah had been that day.

  “I’m afraid I don’t have anything positive to tell you,” Dr. Halliday said sadly. “He’s done better than I expected, for longer than I thought, but that was bound to change. This turn for the worse was pretty much inevitable, and if he’s no longer interested in eating, it’s going to progress pretty quickly.”

  “But he was so good just last Sunday,” Callie said, feeling a little desperate. “He’s had ups and downs before, so maybe he’ll surprise us and bounce back again.”

  “The longer it goes, the less chance there is of that,” the doctor said gently. “I’ll come out and see him tomorrow morning. Then you and I can talk again and figure out a game-plan. Sound good?”

  Callie rubbed her eyes tiredly. “I’d appreciate that. I know he doesn’t want any life-saving measures taken, but I want to do everything we can to make him comfortable.”

  “We’ll certainly do that, Callie. I’ll be there around ten o’clock.”

  She thanked him and hung up, relieved and so grateful to have a doctor who cared enough to travel half an hour to visit a patient.

  A quick check showed Jeremiah was still sleeping. Callie took out her computer and started laying out a spreadsheet to use for keeping track of details about their current cattle herds.

  It was an interesting project, but concentrating this afternoon was difficult. She almost quit because her lack of attention all but guaranteed she’d leave out a column she’d need later, but she kept at it because she needed to keep busy. She could always go back and fix it later, when she was better able to focus.

  At four o’clock a car pulled up to the house, and Callie was so glad to see the nurse she almost cried. She was relieved to see it was Leslie Todd, who had been the first nurse to come earlier in the week. As it happened, Leslie was a member of their church and they knew her well. Callie had initially been afraid that would make Jeremiah more uncomfortable, but he hadn’t seemed to mind.

  She hurried to the door to let the woman in. They held a quiet conversation before Leslie went to check on Jeremiah and get his vitals.

  Callie felt so much better having Leslie there. She’d been so afraid something would happen when she was alone with him, and she wouldn’t know what to do.

  She sent a quick text to let Brittany know she wouldn’t be attending the tournament after all, then settled back down at the table and started counting down the hours until Vince could get away and come to her.

  She looked at the clock on her computer. Five hours, more or less. She squared her shoulders and rolled her head. She could do this. She could get by that amount of time without him.

  Even though it seemed like forever.

  ***

  Vince thoroughly enjoyed the tournament, and everyone watching and participating seemed to as well. It built on the first week’s event, with the same players and teams, but the game lasted longer and the skills competition was more intense, with all the players showing a marked improved with another week of practice.

  The atmosphere was electric and celebratory, and when the skills points passed the total needed for the full-blown pizza party, the crowd had gone wild. Vince wished Callie had been able to come experience it. Seeing the pride of the players, and all the bonding happening between the families, had been a moving experience.

  Even though he’d had a lot of fun, Vince was ready for things to wrap up so he could get out to the Double Nickel to make sure everything was okay. Although Callie had insisted he stay for the tournament, he’d gotten the feeling she was more worried than she let on.

  He’d already informed Boone he wouldn’t be sticking around for the pizza party and social hour, and his friend had given him his blessing to take off as soon as the trophies were given out. Vince had taken a little more time to say goodbye to the veterans he’d spent the last two weeks
with, because he wasn’t sure he’d be around for the send-off ceremony the next morning. He’d posed for pictures and given autographs, then made his escape.

  He’d gone straight to his cabin for a quick shower and to pick up the bag he’d packed. If things were as bad as he suspected, he wasn’t leaving Callie alone tonight.

  His fears appeared to be valid when he drove down the lane to her house and saw another car parked there, and when Callie came out to meet him before he’d even parked. That told him she’d been watching for him, and he wished he’d gone ahead and skipped the tournament. It would’ve put Boone in a tough spot, but the rink manager, Donovan, could have helped out as a coach if he really needed to.

  He got out of the SUV he’d been checking out from the retreat center every day, taking only a few steps before Callie was there, slipping into his arms and holding him tightly around the waist.

  “Hey, Callie,” he said softly. “Talk to me. How bad is he?”

  “Pretty bad,” she said, her voice thick. “I just spent twenty minutes with him, but he just sat there. His eyes are really glassy and he barely moves. He says he’s not in a lot of pain, but I don’t believe him.”

  “Is he drinking anything?”

  “Only a swallow here and there. The nurse has been here since this afternoon, and she started an IV to get fluids in him. She thinks he’s really dehydrated, and he might feel a little bit better after a bag or two goes in.”

  Vince kept an arm around her as they walked toward the house. “I wish you’d told me. I could’ve skipped the tournament.”

  “I didn’t want you to do that. Plus, I was hoping he’d snap out of it by the time you got here. He’s had bad days before, but bounced back.”

  “Has he had any days like this, though?”

  Callie shook her head. “No, I think this is the worst,” she admitted.

  Vince stopped and pulled her close. “I’m glad you called a nurse. You don’t need the pressure of taking care of him alone when he’s feeling that bad.”