by Anna Park
“I...uh...thought I should be with you?” He felt weak. This wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.
“I can’t really talk, or you know, fool around right now.” She looked like she wanted to throw something at him. Her green eyes were glaring and menacing. Stay away, they said.
“Um, is your aunt, is she okay?” Is that a good question?
“I don’t know, okay?”
Paulo noticed the conversation and pulled Colin aside. “Listen, dude, she’s really scared right now. I don’t think she wants you here right now. No offense.”
Lia didn’t say anything. She just looked at him, stonefaced.
“Uh ok, I’m leaving. Call me if you want to.”
He walked out, like a dog being banished. He punched the wall as he turned the corner. His knuckles turned purple. He kicked over a trash can and walked out of the hospital. Farahnaz ran to keep up and walk alongside him.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“What the hell happened in here?”
Colin stood in front of the open freezer, his arms crossed. Dr. P gestured towards the freezer the contents of which were all thawed.
“Ten years of cultures, all ruined.” His face was red, and the veins popped out on his neck. He turned to Colin.
“It was Lia, wasn’t it? Her name was on the eppendorf tubes that were holding the freezer door ajar.”
Colin looked down. In her rush to get to the hospital, she must have forgotten to make sure the freezer door had shut. The alarm had sounded, but no one had been in lab to hear it.
“She’s gone. Gone! In all my years of teaching, I have never had something like this happen.” Spit flew out of his mouth as he yelled.
“Dr. P, I’m sure there’s—”
“Don’t stand up for her now. Unless you’re saying you did this.”
Dr. Peterson stormed into his office and slammed the door. Colin threw some more paper towels on to the huge water puddle around the freezer. How can I help Lia fix this? Will she even talk to me again?
He punched his hand. Farahnaz. She had messed things up, again. He had tried to be civil to her, but she had gone too far this time.
*************
Lia was sitting in Gianna’s hospital room looking around at the multitude of balloons and flowers that were decorating every nook and cranny of the room. It has been two days since the surgery and Gianna was recovering in her room, now out of intensive care. Lia felt very lucky, but was too afraid to leave Gianna’s side. Gianna kept insisting, “Why don’t you go and get a snack at the cafeteria? I'll be okay for a few minutes.”
Lia’s stomach had been tied up in knots since the surgery, and she couldn’t even think of food. Her hair was getting greasy and she had worn the same clothes for days.
An old couple walked into the door. “Gianna! We brought you some food. Are you able to eat?”
Gianna beamed at them. “Thank you so much for coming.”
Lia had stopped counting all the visitors who had walked into visit her aunt. Gianna really had an incredible network of friends and fans. She had given so much in her life; so many people had been touched by her. Now they were all coming to see her.
After the guests left Gianna called her over. “Come here. I want to talk to you.”
“Yes?”
“I don't know what's going on with you…”
“What do you mean?”
“You've been brooding for days and days.”
Lia was shocked. What was Gianna talking about? She had been so busy taking care of her that she hadn’t realized she had been showing any emotion.
“Lia I know you have something big on your mind. I’m not sure what it is. If it's me, I'm telling you I'm fine. Look at me. I'm here right now talking to you.”
“I just feel so sad. I seem to lose everything important in my life.”
Gianna’s eyes softened. She extended her arm to Lia. “I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat and sat up straight.
“Sadness and worry will suck your life away, Lia. Think about what you have right now, this minute. You have me, your sister, your friend Anu…and I don’t know about your guy friend? But my point is, the trick to being happy is to be grateful for what you have at any time. That’s all you can control.”
“Yes, I do have people to be thankful for. I just have to live more in the present I guess. But, I’m really upset about Colin. Turns out he has a girlfriend, after all.” And I thought we had a connection. I thought he was special. He probably thinks I’m ridiculous. The weird girl from the party.
Lia felt the tears welling up. “I also messed up big time in lab. My professor sent me an email, asking me to leave his lab because I accidentally thawed out a whole freezer-full of lab cultures.”
Anna’s eyes grew wide. “Oh no.”
The sick feeling returned to Lia’s stomach.
“You worked so hard to get into that lab. Can’t you talk to your professor?”
“No, he was pretty final.” Lia stared down at her arms, laid out across her lap. Her head felt heavy and she wished she could lie down under a dark blanket. What can I do now?
At that moment, Alex walked in followed by Paulo.
“Oh my goodness, so many flowers. We should take some of these back to your apartment Gianna.” Alex started grabbing some vases. She had been going non-stop since the incident. It seemed to be her way of dealing with things. Beats escaping with drinks. At least, I hope she’s not drinking.
“No. They need to stay here.” Paulo was defiant. “Gianna needs all the flowers around her so she can have a serene space to recover.”
“Since what are you telling me what to do?” Alex stared Paulo down and he retreated a few steps.
“Stop arguing, you two.”
All three of them looked at Gianna surprised. She didn't easy speak so harshly. “I need you three to all work together. We don't need any family drama right now. Let's all focus on how we can do things together.”
Alex gave Paulo a dirty look and stomped out. Lia noticed that as she went out to the door, Paulo turned and gave her a once over. He blushed.
“Paulo, I know you have a thing for her. Acting like that is not going to help anything.”
Paulo looked down and said a gruff, “No, I don’t,” and left the room in a huff.
*************
Colin chewed on the salty piece of beef jerky.
“Hey Noah, pass me some peanuts.”
Noah slid the bowl of peanuts across the kitchen table. The two friends were watching Fast and Furious 4. After the past few days, Colin needed a good movie to get his mind off everything. Noah slapped his hands on his thighs.
“Let’s get this movie started.”
Noah grabbed his beer can and gulped down half of it. “Ah. Life is good.”
“Things good?” Colin had to ask.
“Dude, I finally called her. I had been thinking about it and I just couldn't stop thinking about her. And I've never been like that about a woman. I realize that I couldn't live my life without her. So I basically called her and just told her that.”
“And what did she say?”
Noah’s lips opened into a full grin.
“Well she said that she had been waiting for a commitment for me. She didn’t want to be with someone who was backing away from her. She had been burned in the past by that.”
“So you guys are together now?”
“Yeah, we are.”
Colin high fived his friend. “Dude!”
“How about you man? What’s up with Lia?”
Hearing her name made Colin’s heart skip a beat. His skin felt cold suddenly.
“It’s not good.”
“What?”
“So Lia's aunt was rushed to the hospital on Sunday. We were in lab together when she got the call. After she took off I decided to go meet her at the hospital.”
“Okay.”
“But Farahnaz, you know h
er story, well she followed me and made it look like we’re an item, I guess. Lia took one look at us, and I couldn’t explain anything.”
“Oh shit.”
“I wanted to be there for her, but she didn’t give me a chance. I can’t blame her, I guess.”
“Have you explained about Farahnaz?”
“Just told her she’s nothing to me.”
Noah narrowed his eyes.
“You know, you should have told her everything.”
“But Farahnaz is not even worth talking about. I thought she would just know how I felt. Know from the way we kissed, the way I looked at her.”
“Oh man, you’ve fallen hard. What are you going to do?”
“I guess I'm afraid of really putting myself out there for her.” Colin felt his throat close up. His skin felt cold and sweaty as he remembered the pain. The pain of being left by the person he loved the most.
“You have to act, in spite of your fear. You just have to go for it and show yourself fully. You can’t hold back.”
Colin sat there, leaning his head on his arm. It wasn’t a question of whether he was going to go for it. Lia was to important to lose. How could he show Lia how he really felt, without a doubt?
“I need to show her how I feel. Really show her.”
“Yes, you do.”
“And screw the fear. I can’t lose her.”
Noah patted him hard on the back.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Colin looked around Dr. Peterson’s office. His desk was buried under stacks of papers and his computer monitor was covered in Post-it Notes.
“You’re here to talk about Lia?”
“Yes. I can help.”
“There’s not much you can help with at this point.” Dr. Peterson adjusted his glasses.
“Well, I can work with her to re-make all the stocks. We have all the DNA that we need.”
“That will take you months.”
“Well, I think between the two of us we can systematize it and do it pretty fast if we work long hours.”
Dr. Peterson sat there, not saying anything. He cleared his throat.
“I’m not sure, Colin. What she did was pretty unforgivable.”
“No, but see, she had a family emergency. Her aunt was very ill, and she’s like a mom to her.”
Dr. Peterson’s eyes softened.
“I didn’t know that.”
“Lia’s very talented. This would be a great loss to us. Besides, she’s going to apply for a scholarship next Spring, so you won’t even have to fund her anymore.”
Colin had never argued for someone more in his life. He held his breath, waiting for Dr. Peterson’s response.
“Well, if you think you can handle the extra work, and still get your regular experiments done, then yes.”
Colin jumped up and pumped a fist in the air.
“Thank you, Dr. P. I’ll make sure you don’t regret this.”
He almost ran out of the office and pulled out his phone to call Lia. After five rings, he left a voicemail. I hope she calls back. I can’t wait to tell her.
*************
Lia was in Gianna’s apartment, looking for the book she had asked her to find. 100 Days of Solitude, where are you? It wasn’t on her night table, as Gianna had instructed. Ah. There it is. The book was on the floor, halfway under the bed. I really should get her a Kindle.
Lia pulled out her phone to check her email before heading back to the hospital. She scrolled through all the promotional messages. Nothing, nothing. She stopped when she saw Dr. Peterson’s email. Again? A knot formed in her stomach and Lia debated whether she should open the message. She tapped on it, and saw the words “back in lab”. What? She read through slowly this time.
Lia,
Your friend Colin convinced me to give you another chance. Please come and speak to me about the details; we’d like to have you back in lab.
Dr. P
Lia felt the phone slip out of her hands. She caught it just in time. Colin did this? Her legs felt weak and she fell onto the bed. Her body felt hot suddenly.
RIIIING. Lia picked up her phone immediately. “Yes?”
“It’s Colin, hi.”
“Colin?”
“Please don’t hang up.”
She heard Colin take a deep breath.
“Um...I wanted to ask you to dinner tonight, if you have a chance?” His voice was so soft she could hardly hear it.
“I’m not sure.”
“Lia, I need to explain things.”
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
“No, no. Lia, please.” Colin’s voice was thick and pleading.
“I can’t get hurt again, Colin.”
“Lia, I don’t want to hurt you. Please, trust me.”
Should I? Lia’s heart ached. She wanted nothing more than to be in Colin’s strong arms.
“When?”
“My place. Seven tonight. Oh, do you remember my address?”
“Yes.”
Lia dropped the book into her purse, and headed back to the hospital. She wasn’t sure why Colin wanted to have dinner with her. She wasn’t exactly in a great place, and he could have almost any woman he wanted. Why her, right now?
Gianna gave her a big hug when she delivered the book. “Thank you, I’ve been missing my favorite book.”
“Glad to make you happy. Hey, would it be okay, if I went out to Colin’s tonight? He asked me, and I don’t know why, but I said yes.”
“Of course! Go!” Gianna looked much more excited than Lia felt.
“What’s going on?” Alex was in a corner, flipping through a Cosmo.
“Oh, I’m going out for dinner with a friend,” said Lia.
Alex gave her a knowing look. “Who is he?”
“Someone I work with.”
“Hmm. That’s it? No more juicy details?”
“Well. I actually know him from college. We met at a party for his graduation. I was a silly freshman, totally drunk. I made a huge fool of myself that night.”
Lia grimaced. Thinking about it still made her feel sick. Why was she telling Alex the whole story?
“What did you do?” Alex knew her sister wouldn’t say no to answering her questions. Lia felt the humiliation all over again.
“Long story short, we were sitting together, talking. He asked me to dance. I got up, and he noticed a huge blood stain on the chair and on my butt—”
“Oh my god, you didn’t —”
“Yup. I got my period and was too drunk to notice.”
“What did you say?”
“I ran out, crying. Not my finest moment.”
Alex grabbed her sister, hugging her.
“Oh Lia.”
“So I still wonder what he really thinks about me. The drunk college girl who got her period and bled everywhere?”
“He might not remember. He was probably toast too.”
“I don’t know. I was drinking a lot more than he was.”
“Well, I’ve done a lot crazier things, if that helps.”
Lia knew that she didn’t even know half of the stuff Alex had done. But she was going on a date with this very man tonight. He seemed to like her, but she wasn’t quite sure why.
*************
That evening, Lia dressed in her low-cut Banana Republic dress. It was her fail-proof dress, it always looked good. The green color brought out the green in her eyes, and the shape was forgiving of any extra meals eaten. She clipped back her hair, and checked in the mirror.
“Nice.” The male voice startled her.
“Paulo? What are you doing here?”
“I was looking for Gianna’s crochet stuff, and I heard something in here.”
“Well, thanks, I think.”
He smiled at her, a cute bad-boy smile. Not my type, but he’s hot. She blushed.
“So what’s up with Alex?” he asked.
“Oh, well
, she’s going through a lot of adjustments. Don’t take it personally.”
“I try not to.”
He turned away. “Have a nice date.”
*************
Colin opened the door just as she rang. He was dressed up in a pair of jeans and a gray blazer. His hair was combed to the side. He smelled lightly of cologne.
“You look beautiful.” His eyes stayed focused on hers for a minute. Then he bent down and kissed her cheek. Tingles went down her body.
Lia looked past him, into his apartment. Candles were arranged all along the windowsills. Pretty pink flower petals were strewn across the table, contrasting with the white tablecloth. Did he do this?
“Come in,” he said.
A bottle of wine and two glasses sat invitingly on the table.
“Have a seat.” Colin pulled out a chair for Lia.
“Wine?” She nodded, and he poured her a glass.
“Cheers. To a great evening.” Their glasses clinked, and she took a sip. It was a nice Gewurztraminer, her favorite type of wine. Colin passed her a wooden cutting board with several different cheeses on it.
“Yum,” she said, cutting herself a slice of Brie.
“Didn’t know you were such a foodie.”
“Yeah. I love good food. I want to try your aunt’s place soon, I hear rave reviews from anyone who goes there.”
“Yeah, she and her assistant are brilliant in the kitchen.” Lia leaned back, relaxing with the sweet wine.
Colin turned more serious.
“I want to talk to you.”
“Okay.” Those words didn’t usually lead to good outcomes, but maybe this was different.
“You know when we first met? That party?”
She nodded, cringing a little.
“I don’t know if you remember,” he smiled, “but we had a really great conversation.”
“I’m kind of hazy on some details.”
“Yeah, I know you had a few drinks later on.” He continued, “Anyway, this is hard for me to admit, since I’m not really good with emotions, but I really connected with you. I didn’t want the evening to end….When you took off, at the end, without even saying good bye or exchanging our emails, I was really bummed.”
Lia was shocked.