Flaw Less

by Shana Burton

  “You can breathe, Sullivan, you need to calm down,” ordered Angel, rubbing her back. “Take deep breaths in and out very slowly.”

  “What’s wrong with her, Angel?” Kina asked, concerned.

  “She just panicked a little.”

  Lawson stooped down to be eye-level to Sullivan. “Are you okay?”

  Sullivan inhaled and exhaled a few more times before pulling herself up. “I’m all right. I just had a moment there.”

  “I know you’re feeling overwhelmed, but try to stay calm for your baby’s sake,” lectured Angel. “Everything you do affects that baby.”

  Sullivan shook her head and began crying again. “You were right, Kina. This is a mess. I don’t know what I was so happy about.”

  “Don’t listen to me, Sully,” refuted Kina. “You have every right to love and be excited about your baby.”

  “Girl, you know you can count on us,” Lawson assured her. “You’ve got three friends who’ll stick closer to you than a brother.”

  “We’ve got your back,” chimed in Angel.

  “No matter how many times you lie on it,” joked Lawson, forcing a laugh out of Sullivan.

  “I appreciate it. Your support means the world to me.” Sullivan recovered from crying. “I especially thank you for keeping this a secret, at least for now. I know I’m asking a lot, but I need time to figure out how I want to handle this.”

  Lawson hugged her. “It’s not our secret to tell, honey. Be prayerful and trust God’s direction.”

  “You ready to go home?” asked Angel, jingling the car keys.

  “I can’t go home,” said Sullivan. “I’m not ready to face Charles yet.”

  “Where are you going?” inquired Kina.

  Despite the prayers and support from her friends, Sullivan knew how dire the situation was. She needed help now, and there was only one person vile enough, manipulative enough, and heartless enough to understand what she did and why and how to get her out of this predicament.

  Sullivan looked up. “I think it’s time I paid a visit to my mother.”

  Chapter 27

  “I hope this isn’t good-bye forever.”

  —Angel King

  Angel made her way down to Channing’s room and lightly tapped the opened door. He was standing over his bed supported by his crutches, zipping a duffle bag.

  When he looked up and saw her, his face lit up. “You tryin’ sneak up on me? Did Duke send you to make sure I didn’t steal any of the silver?” he joked.

  She managed a faint smile. “I wasn’t checking up on you, I promise. How’s the leg this morning?”

  He playfully nudged Angel in the arm. “It’s fine. I’m a survivor, you know that.”

  “You’re really leaving today, aren’t you?” she asked, already knowing but dreading the answer.

  He nodded. “My plane takes off in a couple of hours. A part of me was sort of relieved when you got called into work. I already knew I’d have a hard time saying good-bye. Seeing you makes it harder.”

  The look in her eyes let Channing know she felt the same way. “Are you ready to be a civilian again?” she asked him.

  “Yeah, I’m kind of looking forward to it. I’ve even decided to go ahead and take advantage of the GI Bill and finish college.”

  “That’s great, Channing. I’m really happy for you.”

  “If you’re so happy, why do you look so grim? You look like you’ve lost your best friend.”

  “It almost feels that way,” she admitted.

  “Angel, I’m going to North Carolina, not to Mars,” he said lightly.

  “There’s no chance of you moving back here after you recuperate?”

  “I don’t know. We’ll just see how it goes.”

  Angel thought it over. “It’s probably best that you don’t. I really need to focus on planning this wedding and getting the girls acclimated to all of the changes. We’ll be very busy for the next few months.”

  “That’s good, and I’m sure that things will work out for you all. Please let the girls know that I’ll be thinking about them, and I’ll be sure to send them lots of presents if I’m not able to come back for birthdays and Christmas.”

  She nodded. “I just wish that you didn’t have to go. I could really use some of your sound advice.”

  He touched her face. “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Angel.”

  Angel opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Duke knocking and opening the door. “Hey, you ready?” he asked cheerfully.

  “In a minute,” answered Channing.

  Duke grabbed Channing’s suitcases. “I’ll take these down for you. I’ll be outside when you’re ready.” He turned to Angel. “Babe, you coming with us to the airport?”

  Angel shook her head. “I don’t think so. I’ve got to get back to work.”

  Duke kissed her. “I’ll see you after work then.” He trotted out the door.

  “I guess this is it.” Angel exhaled and clasped her hands together.

  “Guess so,” he replied.

  “I’m going to miss you,” she whispered.

  Channing swept her in his arms and held her tightly. “I’ll miss you too. You take care, all right?”

  “I will, and you call to let us know how you’re doing and when you get there.” She let go of him. “I hope this isn’t good-bye forever.”

  “It’s not.” He looked at her, tempted to hold her again. “You be good, Angel.”

  “Always—I’m an angel, remember?”

  They stared at each other, wanting to say more but not knowing what to say.

  “I’ll call you all when I land,” he promised.

  “Okay.”

  He hesitated before walking out. “Hey, Angel?”

  “Yeah?”

  He wrapped his arms around her, with her offering no resistance. Then he set his lips down on hers in a tender kiss. “Sorry . . . I’ve been wanting to do that since the second I laid eyes on you.” He winked at her and walked out to meet Duke. Angel watched as he walked away until he was out of sight.

  She sank onto his bed. Channing’s scent still lingered there; his touch still lingered on her lips. It was as if she felt knotted to him somehow. She pushed the thought away from her head. Channing was gone. Now, she could put her focus back on where it should be: becoming Duke’s wife.

  “Aren’t you coming to bed?”

  “Not yet,” answered Angel, staring into the computer screen. “I’ve got to finish this tonight if we’re going to make payroll next week.”

  “Do what you have to do, babe.” Duke turned over on his side, away from her. “I’m tired. I’m gonna go on to sleep.”

  Angel scrolled through her e-mails looking for a missing invoice. The last thing she expected to see was a message from Channing King. Seeing it made her heart stand still.

  She glanced over at Duke to make sure he hadn’t seen it. “You know what, honey? I think I’m going to take the laptop downstairs and finish this up. I don’t want to disturb you.” She closed the laptop and tucked it under her arm. Then she leaned down and kissed him.

  “Don’t be too long,” grumbled Duke, already half-asleep.

  “I won’t.”

  Angel crept down the stairs and made her way to the living room. She plunked down on the sofa and popped open the laptop. With trembling hands, she opened the e-mail from Channing:

  Dear Angel,

  I tried not to write you. I tried not to miss your touch, your scent, your laugh, and your smile, but that’s like trying not to take my next breath. Thinking about you has become the new constant in my life. I keep reminding myself that you don’t belong to or with me. I know you love my cousin, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing I was in his place.

  Yours truly,

  Channing

  Angel must have read his e-mail twenty times before deciding to respond. Nothing she wrote quite sounded right, so she settled on a simple, “I miss you too.”

  After
working her expense reports for a few more minutes, Angel checked her account and found another e-mail from Channing.

  Angel,

  So you miss me too, huh? I know it’s wrong, but I couldn’t be happier to hear it. I have to admit that I’m kind of nervous and confused because I never expected to feel this way, especially about my cousin’s ex- and soon-to-be wife. I don’t think it’s really a good idea to e-mail and text each other. I wouldn’t want Duke to see anything and get the wrong idea. I don’t want to hurt him because I know hurting him would hurt you. There’s a site I know of that we can go to and chat in real time. I’m sending you the link. Sign up and join as a member (don’t worry—it’s free!). I just want to be able to talk and be ourselves. Please join me there at 1:00 A.M. I’ll be waiting. . . .

  Angel agreed with Channing. Communicating this way was definitely wrong and would most certainly hurt Duke. She could’ve decided not to reply, but that would’ve been rude. She followed the link to the site.

  She gasped. Immediately, she was met with explicit pictures of couples plastered all over the monitor. It was clearly a pornographic Web site.

  “This can’t be the right Web site,” she said to herself. Nevertheless, Angel proceeded with the site’s registration. As she created a profile, she reminded herself that there is always a moment when a person steps over the line between flirting with danger and moving into dangerous territory. This was definitely crossing over into the latter.

  After creating a profile, she was able to join Channing for a live chat.

  “Isn’t this better?” he asked once they were both logged on. “We can talk in real time.”

  “Channing, exactly what kind of site is this?”

  “It’s a private, secure site where we can get to know each other better.”

  Angel shook her head. “I don’t know about this. This feels wrong. I . . . I should go.”

  “Don’t log off, baby. Do you have any idea how bad it’s killing me that I can’t there with you for real?”

  “Don’t say things like that, Channing. It only makes it worse.”

  “There are so many things I want to do to with you. Do you know what we’d be doing if you were here right now? You’ve got me hot just thinking about it.”

  Angel felt uncomfortable. “Channing . . .”

  “I want you to touch yourself everywhere you’d want me to touch you.”

  “What?”

  “It would make it feel like we’re together. Please, Angel.”

  “I can’t do that. I can’t do this. This is wrong!”

  “All right, I don’t want to pressure you.” He tried a different approach. “Can you send me a picture?”

  “Of me in my pajamas?”

  “Of you in nothing,” he answered.

  “Channing, I’m not even supposed to let Duke see me naked, let alone his cousin,” she argued.

  “Why are you always worried about what you’re ‘supposed’ to do? Do what feels good to you for once.”

  “This doesn’t feel good to me,” she told him. “It doesn’t feel right.”

  “I’m not trying to make you feel right,” said Channing. “I’m trying to make you feel good.”

  Chapter 28

  “I didn’t want to lie to you. I just didn’t know how to tell you the truth.”

  —Lawson Kerry Banks

  Garrett put down his cell phone when he heard Lawson’s keys jingling as she unlocked the kitchen door. “There you are. I was just about to call you.”

  “Before you ask, I didn’t forget about dinner with your parents tonight. I had to make a quick run to the drugstore.” She pulled out a box of tampons. “I was out of these.”

  Garrett’s face dropped. “I guess that means we won’t be making any announcements this month.”

  “No,” she replied sadly. “But, you know, we can try again in a week or so. Maybe this time next year we’ll be buying diapers instead.”

  “That’s what I’m praying for.”

  “It’ll happen, baby. We’ve just got to be patient. Besides, it’s not like we won’t be having fun trying, right?” she joked to lighten the mood.

  “It’s just frustrating sometimes, that’s all.”

  Lawson hugged him. “I know, honey. We’ve just got to trust God and have faith that it’ll happen in due season. The Bible says there’s a time and season for everything under heaven.”

  Garrett gently pulled away from her. “Maybe it’s time we thought about getting a second opinion. You know, make sure all of our parts are in working, baby-making order.”

  Lawson grew uneasy. “Baby, I just had a checkup with my gynecologist a couple of months ago. She assured me that everything is fine. It takes some women longer to conceive than others.”

  “It wouldn’t hurt to talk to a specialist.”

  “I’m sure nothing is wrong with either of us. This is probably a side effect from the birth control pills.”

  “Yeah, but you’ve been off the pill for about two months now.”

  Lawson gulped. “I just think we need to give it a little longer before we start wasting time and money going to see a specialist who’s going to confirm what we already know. I’m fine, baby. Plus, we haven’t even been trying that long.”

  “The specialist wasn’t just for you.” Garrett sighed, a little uncomfortable. “You might not even be the problem. Maybe it’s me.”

  “Garrett, don’t say that. We’re not even going to speak that into existence. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me or my brilliant, sexy husband or his brilliant, sexy sperm.” They both laughed.

  “You’re probably right, but I want to make an appointment with my doctor to be sure.”

  “Look, it’s almost six!” interjected Lawson, eager to change the subject. “We’ve got to hurry up and dress if we’re going to meet your parents by seven. Where’s Namon?”

  “Back there in his room glued to the computer.”

  “Ugh! I bet that boy didn’t iron that blue button-down like I told him either. Let me go back there and straighten him out.”

  Lawson marched down the hall to Namon’s room. Garrett began unloading the shopping bags Lawson brought into the house. After putting up the paper towels, his eyes landed on a small white sack with a prescription attached.

  Lawson reentered the kitchen. “All right, Namon is in the shower, and I’m about to—” She struggled to catch her breath when she saw Garrett holding the pharmacy bag.

  “Lawson, what’s this?” he asked, more accusing than curious.

  She walked over and plucked the bag out of his hands. “It’s a prescription; it’s nothing.”

  “A prescription for what?”

  She shrugged, brushing off the question. “My doctor said that my iron is a little low. It’s some kind of iron supplement.”

  “So, this makes, what, the second lie you’ve told me in the last five minutes?”

  Lawson narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

  “Are you seriously going to stand there and play innocent while you lie to my face?” charged Garrett. “Then again, you’ve been doing it for months. Why would today be any different?”

  She feigned ignorance, hoping against hope that he’d drop the issue. “Baby, I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He snatched the bag from her. “Do you think I’m that stupid, Lawson? I can read. I know what this is!”

  “Garrett, it’s not . . .”

  “It’s not what? It’s not your prescription for birth control pills?” he fired. He hurled the bag across the room, startling Lawson.

  She couldn’t say anything. She definitely couldn’t carry out the lie anymore, so Lawson lowered her head and said nothing.

  “So you’re mute now?” asked Garrett. “You had plenty to tell me when you were going on about our having a baby being the Lord’s will and timing. Obviously, by Lord, you meant Lawson.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say,” she repli
ed meekly.

  “I want you to do the one thing you obviously haven’t done in God knows how long. I want you to tell me the truth. Do you think you’re capable of doing that?”

  “Of course I’m capable of telling you the truth, Garrett. The truth is that I love you very much, and I’d never, ever want to do anything to hurt you. You and Namon mean everything to me. That’s the truth!”

  “Yeah, that sounds real nice, Lawson, but you’re leaving out one very important part of this truth of yours, aren’t you? Come on, just say it.”

  “Say what? That I renewed my prescription?”

  “No, that you never canceled it!” he answered. “You never had any intention of getting pregnant, did you?”

  “Baby, that’s not true,” she sobbed. “I love you, and I want to have your child. I just needed a little more time.”

  “Lawson, you stood there and let me go on and on about getting my sperm checked and going to specialists when you knew all along.”

  Lawson smeared tears from her face. “I didn’t want to lie to you. I just didn’t know how to tell you the truth.”

  “Did you know how to tell the girls? Do they know?”

  She shook her head.

  “What about Mark? Does he know?”

  “Of course not!”

  Garrett raised his voice. “I’m shocked. You talk to him about everything else.”

  “Don’t make this about Mark.”

  “Why not when everything else is about him? Your job, Namon, Reggie . . . It all goes back to Mark. We can’t even have a conversation without Mark being in the middle of it.”

  She sniffed. “Garrett, you’re not being fair.”

  He laughed bitterly. “I’m not being fair? You’ve been lying to me for weeks, but I’m not the one who’s fair? You know, I should’ve . . .” He bit his lip to keep from saying anything he might regret.

  “Should’ve what?” pushed Lawson.

  “I should’ve thought longer and harder before asking you to become my wife.”