The Happiness Inquisition

by Nōnen Títi

  It took a long time before Kimberley’s door finally closed and Mum looked in. “Aren’t you in bed yet?”

  “Is she sleeping?” Brittany asked.

  “She is, and you should go to bed too. Tomorrow is Monday.”

  “Mum, do you know Cathy’s dad?”

  Mum started to sort the clothes that were on the chair. “No, but I’ve met her mother.”

  Brittany took a deep breath. “Mum, if you think someone is getting hurt or something, you should tell, right?”

  “Yes, of course you should. Now, are you going to need this shirt or can it go in the wash?”

  “I need it, I think. So, Mum, if a child is being beaten they don’t want to talk about it, right?”

  “Right. What are you getting at, Brit?” Mum sat down on the end of the bed.

  “Nothing, I just wanted to know, because… What kind of people do that?”

  “Hurt their children? Disturbed people, mostly, who never really learned to care and who treat children like toys… Why, Brit?”

  “But not normal parents?”

  “No, unless-”

  “Mummy? You promised to pick up Teddy,” Kimberley interrupted, standing at the door.

  “Oh, can a person never get any peace?” Mum exclaimed, jumping up.

  “But I want to go pick up Teddy.”

  “It’s too late now,” Mum told her. “Grandma will be sleeping.”

  “But I can’t sleep without Teddy.”

  “Maybe Brit will let you have Monkey for tonight.”

  Kimberley began to cry. “I want Teddy. You promised!”

  Mum shook her head. “Look, first thing tomorrow, before school, we’ll get Teddy from Grandma’s house. Just for one night, sleep with Monkey.”

  “I want Teddy!”

  “Do you think your sister can have Monkey for one night?” Mum asked.

  “But…”

  “Oh, come on, Brit. She’s only six.”

  “Okay.” Brittany reluctantly let go of her companion and handed him to her sister.

  Kimberley looked at it and then threw it against the wall. “No! I want Teddy. I won’t sleep without Teddy.”

  “But big girls can sleep anywhere, even without Teddy.”

  “She isn’t big,” Brittany said, soothing Monkey.

  “Am too.”

  “Well, then you can sleep with Monkey.”

  “No! I’m going to get Teddy.”

  Kimberley and Mum ran out of the room, one after the other. Brittany stood at the back of the corridor and watched Kimberley reach the front door first and open it and then Mum lean against it, trying to stop her, while shouting “Frank? Frank!”

  “What?” Dad asked, coming out of the lounge.

  “Can you drive to your mum and pick up Teddy?”

  “What… now? Are you out of your mind? I have a meeting first thing in the morning. I was trying to relax.”

  “But it’s your fault. You forgot the damned bear.” Mum finally managed to close the door and struggled to keep Kim from biting her. “Frank, do something!”

  “What do you want me to do? Kim, stop it, we’ll get Teddy tomorrow.”

  “No, I want Teddy now. I want to go to Grandma’s. You promised to pick him up from work. You promised, you promised!”

  “Kim, if you go on like that I’ll just leave, okay? Mummy and Daddy will go far away and never come back,” Mum said.

  “I don’t care. I only want Teddy, ’cause Teddy loves me and you don’t!” Kim shouted running back to her room.

  “Damn it, Frank, can’t you just for once help me? I need to go over my notes and I have a report to write.”

  “Mum, I wanted to talk to you,” Brittany tried when Mum pushed past her into Kimberley’s room, where her sister had pulled a dresser-drawer onto the floor and was now filling her pillow case with random items of clothing.

  “Go to bed, Brit. And Kim, what do you think you’re doing?”

  “I’m going away. I’m going to live at Grandma’s,” Kimberley said, putting a dress on over her pyjamas.

  “No, you’re not. You’re going back to bed.”

  “Am not!”

  “Yes you are, or I’ll never talk to you again. Frank! Can’t you talk to this child? It’s you who wanted them.”

  “Mum?”

  “Shut up, Brit, can’t you see I’m busy? Kimmy, if you loved me, you’d go back to bed.”

  “Am not.”

  “Okay, I’ll leave then, if you don’t want me as your mother.”

  “Good!” Kim answered.

  “Okay, goodbye.”

  “Mum, please?”

  “No, I’m leaving. I’m sick of this house. Nobody gives a damn. Find another mother!”

  Brittany’s chest felt heavy suddenly, as heavy as it had this afternoon, when standing in front of that window. Suddenly it didn’t seem such a good idea to have Cathy move in.

  “Good!” Kim shouted.

  “Good,” Mum said and left Kim’s bedroom.

  “Mum, you’re not really leaving, are you?”

  “Yes, I am. Go bother your father.”

  “But Mummy…” With the tears the pressure of Brittany’s chest gave way. She stumbled to the hall closet, where Mum was searching for her coat. “Mummy, please don’t run away! Please, I’ll help you with everything and I’ll think about Teddy for Kim, Mum, please don’t leave me. Please, stay, I’ll never bother you again!”

  Mum closed the cupboard door. “Britty, I was only saying it to try and get her to listen.”

  “I don’t want you to leave!”

  Mum put her hands over her ears. “Okay, we’ll get the stupid bear. Kim, get your shoes on, we’re going for Teddy. Britty, you can come too, if you want, but I’m coming back. I promise.”

  Within seconds Kimberley was dressed and fishing for her shoes under the bench.

  “Promise?”

  “I promise. Just try and sleep, okay?”

  Brittany followed her mother into the kitchen and watched as she poured a glass of tomato juice to sober up before taking the car. “But there was something I need to tell you.”

  “Tell me when I come back, okay? Frank! Can you call your mum and say we’re coming, in case she goes to bed?”

  “You’ll get yourself killed,” Dad warned her. “I’m sick of these scenes. It isn’t normal. Maybe we should have her tested?”

  “And start her on Ritalin? Are you crazy? You know the brain damage that stuff causes. Besides, everybody tests positive for ADD and Kim’s is only drama. She knows what she’s doing and she knows she can win this way.”

  “That’s just ridiculous, Pat. If you know what she’s doing, why do you give in?”

  “Have you got a better idea? Kids aren’t lab experiments. I’m with them every day. The bloody theories don’t work! They’re driving me mad.”

  “Don’t you start being hysterical.” Dad said. “Kim, did you keep crying just so Mummy would go and get Teddy?”

  “She promised,” Kim answered, the tears returning to her voice.

  “But do you remember when I said that people can’t drive when they are sick or tired or have been drinking alcohol, because they could get an accident?”

  Kim nodded.

  “And Mummy can’t drive right now, because she had alcohol. If you make her go into the car, you may get an accident and die.”

  “But you can get Teddy?”

  “No, I can’t either.”

  “But you promised. I want Teddy. You have to get Teddy.” The tears came back to Kimberley’s eyes. Brittany could tell it was like turning on a tap. Mum was right.

  “It’s useless, Frank. I’m going. I’ll be careful.”

  “No, I’ll go. My car is faster and it is my fault, but she is staying here.”

  “I want to go,” Kim said.

  “No. If I get an accident it will be only Daddy and Teddy who will die.”

  “Please Frank, there’s no need to put that kind of a guilt tri
p on her.”

  He didn’t answer and slammed the door behind him. As soon as the car had left, Mum went to the closet and pulled a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of her winter coat.

  Brittany quietly followed her to the back door, hoping this would be a good time to talk. Just as she was about to start, a window next door was being closed, making Mum look up at the neighbour’s face who was shaking his head. “Mind your own bloody business! I hate this stupid neighbourhood,” Mum shouted and stamped out the cigarette.

  “Mum, are you okay?”

  Mum spun around. “Get back inside! Don’t you dare spy on me like that? You kids are ruining my life. I’m going to the hospital where people still appreciate me. Leave me alone and stop sobbing. You’re acting like a two-year-old.”

  Brittany went to bed without telling Mum that she was appreciated here too. Because she couldn’t sleep and because she so desperately needed to express her thoughts, Brittany took out her notepad and wrote down everything she remembered seeing from Cathy’s window.

  That night Brittany dreamed that she had rescued a hundred kids from abuse and they all came to live in her house, but Cathy wasn’t among them. After having run through endless rooms, calling Cathy’s name, stumbling over kids everywhere, turning a thousand corners and opening even more doors, the alarm woke her up.

  Teddy was sitting alone on the table, ignored by Kimberley, who was watching TV, and by Mum, who was making lunch boxes, when Brittany came into the kitchen. Dad had already left for work.

  “Mum, can I ask you something?”

  “Can’t it wait until dinner time? I’m rehearsing my seminar.”

  “But Mum…”

  “Just eat something or you’ll be late for school.”

  Brittany gave up and left without eating breakfast. She worried a little, but Cathy came to her as normal. “You didn’t tell, did you?”

  “Tell what?” Brittany asked.

  “About Glenn. Somebody called the police on my dad. Anyway, I didn’t think it was you and neither did Mum. She said it was probably one of the other kids. Some nerve after they were caught playing with matches and almost burned Josh.”

  “So, you’re not angry that I ran away?” Brittany asked.

  “Nah. Mum said you were probably a little confused and to just leave you be until you were ready to call.”

  Brittany shrugged. “I was homesick.”

  Cathy didn’t say that she didn’t believe it, but Brittany knew anyway. She felt odd because Cathy seemed so normal. Too many thoughts that had been filed didn’t want to stay inside their boxes. There was a strange sort of empty feeling between them all morning and at lunchtime recess Kevin, who used to be Cathy’s friend before Brittany, came running to tell Cathy that her sister was crying. “Something about your dad being in prison. And they’re saying it’s Glenn’s fault.”

  Cathy ran off to help her siblings, but Brittany didn’t follow.

  “Is that true?” Kevin asked.

  “No, it was about Josh. I saw it. Cathy’s dad got upset with Glenn because they were playing with fire and then somebody called the police.”

  Kevin was satisfied and went after Cathy, but Brittany shivered in the cold sunshine, wondering if she really had seen everything she thought she had. And what if Mum had found her notepad when making the beds?

  Brittany wasn’t sure when exactly Mum’s seminar was, which she wasn’t allowed to interrupt “unless somebody died”, but she went to the secretary anyway and told her she had to urgently call her Mum.

  “The one good thing about your mother,” Dad used to say, “is that she won’t leave things lingering.”

  She had found the notepad and done what every good parent would do; she’d called child services immediately.

  “Maybe you should call them back and say I’m not sure,” Brittany said.

  “Of course you’re sure – you wrote it down, didn’t you? You saw him hit his son. That should be enough to warrant an investigation.”

  “What if I was wrong?”

  “It was your duty to report it, even if you’re not sure, so you can never be wrong. If there is no problem they’ll work it out and it will all blow over.” Mum insisted that Brittany didn’t have to worry; nobody would ask her any questions and she wouldn’t have to go to court.

  Cathy wasn’t at the playground when Brittany came back. Brittany sat on a bench to wait, but when the bell went she was still alone.

  “Her Mum picked her up because Glenn was fighting,” Kevin said.

  They walked to the gym together because there was to be an assembly about crime prevention and safety at home.

  “I’d like to see a show of hands,” began the police woman. “Anybody who has been hit by their parents or other adults or knows about somebody else being hurt or touched against their will.”

  At that moment Brittany knew that Cathy would never come back and it was her stomach that knew first, because it suddenly cramped so bad that she had to hunch over and wait for it to get better.

  She didn’t go back to class after the assembly, but left the playground and walked to where Cathy lived, taking the little path that ran behind the gardens. She tiptoed and listened for noises, but there were none. Whatever it was she had expected – police sirens and Cathy’s mum begging them not to take away her children – Brittany had not expected this silence. She carefully peeped through the gap in the fence. The curtains were drawn and the doors and windows closed. The garden was silent. The blades of grass stood upright, like soldiers, undisturbed, as if nobody had ever played here, not even the bees. Yet, the familiarity was still there. Why, if Cathy’s dad was really a criminal, had Brittany always felt so warm in this house?

  TRUTH OR DARE

  It was a spring-like Sunday afternoon, warm enough to have the windows open. Beth was just pouring tea and Will’s mother was slicing the cake to go with it when Will came flying down the stairs and ran straight out the door, leaving it open. Automatically, Beth turned to the window.

  In four strides Will had crossed the street and jumped over the hedge into the garden of the vacant house where the children had been playing. He pulled Josh off a pile of leaves, gave Glenn a smack, shouted at the other children to get the hell out of there, so they went running, and then picked up what they had dropped.

  Though she and Will generally didn’t interfere with each other when handling a problem, this time Beth couldn’t help herself. “I have to go see,” she told her mother-in-law and hurried out the front door. Panting, she reached Will and the two boys. “What happened?”

  “Get him home and washed,” Will said, nodding at Doreen’s little boy, who stood staring at Will, unable to move. The stick he’d been bound to hung sideways in the piece of rope that was still around his middle. The legs of his pants were soaked through and he was shivering. Next to him on the ground was a jerry can. Beth suddenly realised that what Will was holding was a box of matches.

  “Oh my God!” Suddenly aware this child needed her, Beth pulled the rope away and picked the small boy up. Though two years older, he weighed less than Meghan, her five-year-old. “It’s okay, honey. I’ll bring you home.”

  Josh didn’t respond to her. He held himself rigid as if in shock when Beth carried him to his house and rang the doorbell. She kept saying it would be okay, though she wasn’t sure what it was.

  “I’m not sure what exactly they did, but they had matches and I think it may be petrol all over his legs,” Beth explained.

  “It doesn’t smell of anything,” Doreen answered, taking her son, but she didn’t ask any more questions, so Beth returned home to find Will, both his parents, and Meghan in the kitchen, but not Glenn. “Where is he?”

  “In his room. I’ll talk to him when we’ve all calmed down,” Will said.

  “So what exactly happened?”

  “I saw them emptying the container over the pile. It went all over Josh’s legs. Next thing I knew, they pulled out a box of matches. I swear my h
eart stood still for a moment. It would have set him alight.”

  Will looked flustered. He must have had a bigger shock than Beth, having seen them poor the liquid and knowing… Suppose they’d lit that match… Beth shivered at the thought. “Did Glenn do anything?”

  “He didn’t stop it.”

  “What is ‘alight’?” Meghan asked.

  “It means set on fire, to burn,” Will answered automatically.

  “I remember you doing something similar,” his mum told him. “You hated that suit we got you for Christmas and decided to set fire to it so you wouldn’t have to wear it. You nearly burned the house down.”

  “As did you,” her husband replied. “I remember you setting your wardrobe on fire when we were first going out.”

  “That was a cigarette, dear. I thought I heard my father come into the room so I hit it inside a pocket. I forgot that burning cigarettes don’t hide very well in clothing.”

  “Did I ever do something like that?” Cathy asked, having entered the kitchen from the back garden.

  “No, thank heaven, we’ve always been able to trust you,” Beth told her oldest daughter. “Where’s Brittany?”

  “She went home,” Cathy answered.

  “Why did they want to burn up Josh?” Meghan asked.

  “I’m sure they didn’t intend to burn him, Meghan. And I do not want you talking about this, do you hear? This is not your business,” Beth said.

  Will’s parents suggested that they take the girls to the park so Beth and Will could talk to Glenn. That was the great thing about his parents; they didn’t butt in, the way Beth’s mother would have, with all kinds of suggestions. They simply took the other kids out of the way.

  Glenn was sitting on his bed. “It was only water,” he said the moment they came in.

  “What was?” Will asked.

  “We were playing witches and Josh was the witch, but it wasn’t real.”

  “Those matches were very real.”

  “I didn’t know about those.”

  “Look me in the eye!”

  Glenn half-lifted his head, but he didn’t look up until Will repeated his order.

  “Now tell me again you didn’t know.”