Broken Heart Club

by Cathy Cassidy

  I never did get to hear what she thought, sadly.

  It all went wrong.

  Andie saw us and went nuts, and all three of us fell out big time, with Tasha and Hasmita looking on helplessly, trying their best to make peace. Nightmare.

  So yeah … parties.

  I find my best pair of jeans, iron my vintage Nirvana T-shirt, slip on new Vans trainers. I shove some gel in my hair and drag a comb through it, stare at the mirror and wish I looked more … well, more something, anyway. I brush my teeth for five whole minutes, then gargle with mouthwash and go looking for chewing gum.

  Parties are not my favourite way to spend a Friday night, but Buzz and Chris are set on a night of revelry and I may as well go along for the laugh. Besides, if Eden is there I might find a way to chip away the ice-maiden mask, see if I can find a way back to the girl I used to know.

  I’m not sure if Lara’s party is the right place to do this, but I am willing to try.

  26

  Eden

  Lara’s front door stands wide open. A group of Year Ten boys are having some kind of break-dance competition on the front lawn. Inside the house, shrieks and whoops can be heard above the sound of the music, and the hallway looks so rammed with people I am not sure how we will ever get in.

  I would turn round and walk away right now if Andie weren’t here with me, but she is here, so I square my shoulders and follow her along the path. One of the break-dance boys dips down to pick some kind of daisy flower from a flower bed and hands it to me as I pass.

  ‘There, y’see? Proof that your new look is totally awesome and irresistible,’ Andie quips. ‘I didn’t get one!’

  ‘He was probably too in awe of you,’ I say. ‘You have that effect on boys. Oh, Andie, is this a good idea? There are way too many people here!’

  ‘It’s a very good idea,’ she says. ‘Trust me. C’mon!’

  She takes my hand and leads me inside, elbowing her way through the crowd, people shoving and pushing past us.

  ‘I smell pizza!’ Andie yells gleefully. ‘Just like old times! D’you think they’ll have cheese and pineapple? Let’s head for the kitchen!’

  ‘What if we get separated?’

  Andie just laughs. ‘That’s what parties are all about,’ she tells me. ‘We’re here to talk to people, make new mates, have fun. Go with the flow, Eden! Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’ll see you at the end of the night, and we can talk about it all, just like old times!’

  Andie’s hand slips away from mine and I find myself carried along in the crush of people like driftwood on the tide. I wash up in the kitchen, which is thankfully less crowded and a little quieter than the hallway. Chloe, Flick and Ima are helping Lara to set out food and mix up a lurid-looking fruit punch that seems to involve chopped apples, halved strawberries and bottles of lemonade, cherryade and cream soda.

  Chloe, Flick and Ima seem not to notice me, but Lara, looking very grown up in a sparkly purple dress and high heels she can’t quite balance on, looks up and does a double take. Her eyes widen and her mouth forms a perfect ‘o’.

  ‘Eden?’ she says. ‘Wow – is it you? You look so different! Like you used to, only more grown-up, obviously! I like it!’

  The other three are staring now, as if they’re seeing me for the first time. Maybe they are? I look back over my shoulder and spot Andie, still stuck in the hallway crush. She grins and waves her hand in the air as if telling me to relax, not to worry; knowing her, she’ll have found a gaggle of old friends to chat to. Or new friends, maybe.

  ‘Eden!’ Chloe is saying. ‘You made it! You actually came! I didn’t think you would, and now here you are and I almost didn’t recognize you – you look so different! Amazing!’

  ‘Have you dyed your hair?’ Flick wants to know. ‘OMG! That colour really suits you! So cool!’

  I try to say that it’s my natural colour, but my words are lost as a burst of heavy bass and drums erupts in a nearby room.

  ‘So glad you came!’ Ima shouts into my ear. ‘Here, have some fruit punch! Lara’s brother’s band are just kicking off in the living room.’

  I take a paper cup of fruit punch from the kitchen table, still clutching the flower. I look back again at Andie, but she’s in the middle of a big group, laughing, talking. I couldn’t reach her if I tried. Maybe she’s right – maybe I should try to make a few new friends?

  ‘The band are awesome,’ Lara tells me. ‘And I’m not just saying that, they really, really are. C’mon, guys!’

  She ducks back out into the hall, into the living room, Chloe and Flick in her wake. Ima waits, smiling, wanting to include me.

  ‘Shall we go through?’ she asks.

  ‘OK, sure,’ I say. ‘I came with a friend, but I guess she’ll work out where I am. Let’s go see what they’re like!’

  I take a deep breath and step into the living room, into the magic.

  27

  Ryan

  The one advantage of having a reputation as a troublemaker is that people step out of your way pretty fast. The crowd in the hallway parts to let Buzz, Chris and me pass through, and I feel like Moses parting the Red Sea.

  My mates lead the way to the kitchen, shovel pizza into their mouths, taste the fruit punch and spit it out again in disgust at the lack of alcohol. Buzz starts ransacking the cupboards in search of something more interesting to add, and comes up with chilli sauce, cooking sherry and a jar of Branston Pickle.

  ‘Have you even been invited?’ one girl asks as he empties them all into the punch while Chris stirs the foul brew. ‘You think you’re so tough, don’t you? Idiots!’

  ‘You love me really,’ Buzz is saying as I abandon the kitchen and follow the sound of the music. The living room is a wonderland of fairy lights and strobes. Lara’s brother and his band are squashed into the far corner, and they’re hammering out a bright, happy R&B sound that has the whole room jumping. The floor is crammed with kids dancing and there’s no way of getting to the front, so I climb on an armchair and perch on the back to get a better view.

  I almost miss Eden at first. I’m scanning the room for a slouching Goth girl in black baggy clothes, but I get distracted by the cute girl in the dungaree shorts who is dancing with Chloe, Flick and Ima, her wavy golden brown hair flying out around her like a halo. I watch her move to the music, arms floating out around her, face lit up in different colours by the flickering strobes and fairy lights. I think she must be a friend of Chloe, Flick and Ima; someone from another school. I wonder who she reminds me of, and then my heart flips over and I jump down from the armchair and push through the crowd until I’m right in front of her.

  ‘Eden!’ I yell above the music. ‘Eden! It’s you!’

  Her blue eyes light up for a moment, then the light shuts down again. She’s standing still now, a slightly wilted flower dangling from one hand.

  ‘Who else would I be?’ she yells back.

  ‘Funny,’ I shout into her ear. ‘You know exactly what I mean. You look amazing! I mean – well, you look like you!’

  Chloe, Flick and Ima have stopped dancing, flanking Eden like bodyguards, shooting me death-stares. ‘Is he bothering you?’ Chloe asks Eden.

  ‘Yes – no, I’m fine,’ she yells back. ‘Look, Ryan, I’m dancing and you’re sort of in the way. …’

  I grin. ‘No I’m not – I’m dancing too!’

  It’s hard to strut your stuff when the room is packed to bursting, but I play it for laughs and exaggerate every movement, spinning and skanking and grooving like I’m in some kind of 1970s dance-of
f. At first, Eden and the girls look exasperated, annoyed, but I win them over and before long they’re dancing round me and we’re all laughing together. I think that dancing is probably as good as running for chasing away the anger, or maybe it’s just that the band are so relentlessly happy, or because I’m making people laugh instead of scaring them.

  Finally, the band announce their last song and I improvise a jive routine, dancing with each of the girls in turn, spinning and whirling them through the crowd. As the last chords die away, I’m still holding Eden’s hand, and somehow I don’t want to let go.

  ‘You’re still an idiot underneath the tough guy act, Ryan Kelly,’ she says into my ear. ‘Funny, though!’

  ‘Thank you … I think!’ I say, making a mock bow. ‘I’m wrecked. Shall we get a drink and cool down?’

  Eden shrugs and looks over her shoulder anxiously, but she allows me to tow her to the kitchen. Buzz and Chris are thankfully nowhere to be seen. I bypass the spiked fruit punch and pour two mugs of cherryade from a bottle on the kitchen counter, but as more kids come in searching for drinks, the mood darkens. Some are gagging at the revolting punch; some have sussed the taste of alcohol beyond the chilli sauce and are knocking it back with abandon. Things are going to get messy.

  ‘This is crazy,’ Eden says. ‘I have to go, Ryan. Find the friend I came with …’

  But before she can escape, a Year Ten girl in tottering heels slips on a dropped patch of Branston Pickle and skids into us, swearing. A couple of Year Seven kids start yelling, and out of nowhere Buzz steps in to defend the girl in the heels.

  It escalates quickly.

  Lara’s brother and his mates arrive in search of refreshment just in time to see Buzz threatening the Year Sevens with the punch ladle; there’s lots of shouting and a full-on scrap breaks out. Lara’s brother tells Buzz to leave, but Chris has joined him by then and they’re not about to go without a fight.

  In the background, the thudding sound of a punk playlist starts to pound out, which just ramps up the drama.

  ‘I need to find my friend,’ Eden repeats, but I hang on to her hand and pull her backwards, away from the scrum. Buzz has a bloody nose now, Chris is trying to smash Lara’s brother over the head with his own guitar and the drunk girl in the heels lifts up the punch bowl and tips the entire contents on the kitchen floor.

  ‘Sheesh. What’s actually in that stuff?’ Eden asks, horrified.

  ‘You don’t want to know,’ I tell her. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

  I find myself standing against a door with a notice taped to it saying ‘Private, Keep Out!’ I try the handle; it opens unexpectedly, and the two of us fall inside, laughing. I fumble for the light switch and discover we’re in some kind of utility room.

  Eden shuts the door and leans against it, eyes wide.

  ‘Two years without one single party, and the first time I venture out I land up in the middle of a full-on fight,’ she says. ‘Just my luck!’

  ‘Welcome to my world,’ I say.

  28

  Eden

  I am sitting on the washing machine, squashed up against a pile of freshly laundered towels and a couple of bottles of fabric softener. Ryan Kelly is loafing in the laundry basket, one foot flexed against the utility room door to keep it shut, grinning. Outside in the kitchen, there is screaming, yelling, the sound of plates being smashed.

  ‘Buzz and Chris are losers, seriously,’ I say. ‘There was no need for this!’

  ‘They are,’ Ryan agrees. ‘Lovable losers, though. Sometimes. Well, occasionally, if I’m honest. And starting fights is what they do best!’

  ‘Why do you hang around with them?’ I ask.

  Ryan shrugs. ‘Things are never dull when Buzz and Chris are about, and they don’t do deep and meaningful conversations, which is definitely a plus. They’re a laugh – I don’t have to think too much when I’m with them.’

  I sip my cherryade. I’m not really in a position to criticize – at least Ryan has friends, even if they are of the bonehead variety.

  ‘So you’re friendly with Chloe, Flick and Ima now?’ Ryan asks. ‘That’s cool.’

  ‘I don’t know them all that well, but they’re nice,’ I say.

  I glance towards the laundry room door, guilt stricken. What if Andie is looking for me, if she finds me hiding away with Ryan? She’s made it very clear that she is here to see me, after all, and not the others. Besides, she might not understand, and the last thing I want is to fall out with her again.

  ‘Is that door locked?’ I ask.

  Ryan pushes his foot against it firmly and grins. ‘Nobody can get in. OK?’

  ‘OK,’ I say. I am glad of that, and of course, the longer we stay hidden the less chance there is of Ryan spotting Andie, and vice versa.

  There’s another crash outside, and I wince as someone or something thuds against the door. It looks like I’m stuck here for now; I hope Andie’s OK too, and steering clear of the scrap.

  ‘I’m glad you came,’ Ryan is saying. ‘It’s good to see you out and about, having fun. You seem different tonight; more like the Eden I used to know. Why don’t we ever speak these days, Eden? Hang out? What happened?’

  I almost laugh out loud at this. ‘You walked straight past me on the first day at Moreton Park,’ I remind him. ‘You didn’t want to know me. You cut me dead, like you’d never seen me before. That’s why we don’t talk, Ryan. That’s why we don’t hang out.’

  He hangs his head. ‘Guilty as charged,’ he admits. ‘You want to know why? I didn’t recognize you. You’d dyed your hair black and you looked all pale and sad. You were mooching along like you wanted to be invisible, and when you looked at me there was no spark, no recognition at all. I genuinely messed up, and once I’d blanked you I didn’t know how to go back.’

  ‘You could have said sorry,’ I suggest. ‘You could have explained …’

  ‘What can I say?’ Ryan tells me. ‘I’m a loser, just like my so-called mates. I’m sorry, Eden.’

  On the other side of the door, Lara is shouting that she’s called the police. There’s the sound of wood splintering, as if the kitchen chairs are being bashed to bits. To say that this party is not working out quite the way I hoped is the understatement of the year.

  I look at Ryan, sad-faced, sprawled in the laundry basket, and sigh. How can I blame him for being messed up when I am just as bad?

  ‘Doesn’t matter,’ I say. ‘It’s a long time ago now.’

  Ryan scrambles up out of the laundry and stands in front of me, his face serious. The horrible skinhead cut he had back in Year Seven has grown out now and his hair is longer than it was when we were kids, dark waves springing back from his forehead. His grey eyes shine with a mixture of mischief and sadness, and he has razor-sharp cheekbones I have never noticed before. The tips of my ears are going pink again, I know it.

  ‘It matters to me,’ he says. ‘I messed up, and I’m sorry. But hey, we had fun tonight; dancing, sorting the laundry, swapping character assassinations. Let’s be friends, Eden. It’d be crazy not to …’

  ‘Friends,’ I say faintly. ‘Sure.’

  Then he leans over and kisses my ear, just like he did two years ago, and panic floods through me. It’s happening all over again, and it can’t, it mustn’t, not now. Not ever.

  What am I even doing with Ryan when I should be with Andie? I have to find her, get her out of this place before everything falls to bits.

  I push Ryan away and jump down from the washing machine, shove the laundry basket out of the way and drag the door open, then
step outside and slam it shut again with Ryan inside. The kitchen looks like a tornado has just passed through, and partygoers are standing around looking shell-shocked. I pick my way through the debris of a smashed chair, a hail of broken glass, puddles of fruit punch and soggy pizza. Buzz is sitting in a corner, blood trickling from his nose,

  ‘Eden!’ Ryan is yelling behind me. ‘Wait!’

  But I don’t wait – I can’t. I have to keep the two of them apart. I step into the crowded hallway. Miraculously, through the chaos I see Andie talking into her mobile, lifting her hand up above the crowd to signal to me.

  ‘Eden!’ Andie yells over the screech of the amps, the thud of the bass. ‘Look … bad timing; something’s come up. I have to go!’

  I try to yell back, but my shout is swallowed up by the squeal of a police siren outside. Instantly, the crowd turns and begins to push against me; everyone is trying to get back to the kitchen, possibly to the back door. Nobody wants to be caught underage drinking or accused of trashing the place. They are looking for a quick escape.

  I feel sick. I try to elbow my way towards Andie, but it’s like swimming against the tide. Why did I leave Andie? Why did I waste the little time we have together dancing and hiding out with Ryan?

  Three police officers appear in the doorway and begin to push their way into the hall. They pass Andie without so much as a glance. Lara appears at my side, crying, telling the police officers that gatecrashers spiked the punch and picked a fight, and that her parents are going to kill her. I feel for her, but right now, no matter how much I may sympathize, I need to get to my best friend.

  I’m panicking, pushed, shoved, sworn at.

  I’m way, way too slow.

  By the time I get to the doorway, Andie has gone.

  29

  Ryan

  I must have a very guilty face, because I have a hard job persuading the police that I had nothing to do with the vandalism. Eventually, Lara and her brother step in and say I was not involved, and the minute I’m off the hook I head off in search of Eden.