Robyn Hood: A Girl's Tale

by K. M. Shea

  Much loudly snored.

  “Very funny Much! Stop it. I won’t be able to sleep,” I grumpily called.

  Much let another snore loose.

  “Much?” I asked, and was rewarded by yet another snore, he sounded like a dying bear. “Come on! You can’t have fallen asleep that quickly!” I groaned poking his shoulder. He snored again and I huffed and scooted further away from him, cushioning my head with a blanket… But his unbearable snoring just would not STOP! “Ugh” I groaned as I covered my ears with the blanket, trying to drown out the sound.

  It didn’t work and I scowled up at the sky as I felt a small raindrop fall on my nose, it was the first rain in weeks.

  I moaned and hopped up, heading for the cover of the trees and some nearby boulders. I purposely stepped on Much’s face as I walked over there, but the great lug didn’t budge.

  I become settled in my little cubby between the boulders and properly arranged my blankets around me when it started to pour, effectively waking up Much.

  “What the? OH COME ON!”

  It rained for only a short amount of time that night, and when I woke up from my slumber everything was dew covered, and there was no traces of the night’s showers except for the deep green color of the forest.

  It was dawn, so I made gruel for myself before washing my lincoln green outfit. I hung it up to dry and slipped on a spare that Marian had secured some time ago. I bound my chest with bandages and tucked up my hair in the same feathered cap from the day before. By this time Much grumpily woke up and started stumbling around the camp, trying to gain his bearings. His odd sleeping positions caused his hair to stick out like flaky pieces of hay.

  “Morning Sunshine!” I sweetly sang as he mumbled incoherently and poured some gruel into his cup. “You’re such a happy bundle of misery,” I said as I retrieved my longbow from its hideaway in the tree.

  Meanwhile Much wolfed his gruel down like a wild animal. “As are you, Precious,” he grumbled at my cheerfulness. It was no use talking to the boy until he ate his gruel. The instant food entered his stomach he became an incessant chatterbox.

  “I think I’m going to try to meet Marian today,” I said as I bit my lip.

  “Oomph mubble wobble..grumble…Trouble,” he told me while finishing the last of his gruel.

  “Open your mouth, Much, or I can’t hear you,” I said as he finished his last bite and set the bowl down. He took one deep breath, and…

  “It’sabeautifulmorningisn’titIjustlovetherain!” he chattered, running around camp as I strung my bow.

  “And I repeat, I’m going to meet Marian. I’ll be back when I’m sure you won’t talk my ears off,” I said as I left our camp.

  I started off at a slow jog, warming up my muscles for the day ahead of me. I smiled as I felt my cloak swirl and my quiver thunk against my back.

  Before I knew it I reached the main road to Nottingham. I paused at the edge, thinking perhaps I should go back and change. After all, solid green clothes made me look like a large plant, which wouldn’t help me when I tried to sneak into Huntingdon Castle.

  I decided against it and jumped into the road. While I was immersed in my thoughts, however, a rider on a primpy, fancy horse rode up the road. The horse reared and I nimbly dodged its hooves that pawed the air.

  The rider was a fat middle-aged man who appeared to be going bald. The horse must have had more strength than I suspected because even though it had stick legs it was able to hold up the massive volume of its rider.

  “Sorry,” I started to apologize, noticing the gold plated tack on the horse, and the man’s fancy clothes.

  The man squealed, sounding an awful lot like a goose caught in a trap. “Don’t hurt me!”

  “With what?” I asked, wrinkling my brow in confusion. I then remembered my longbow in my hand. “Oh, this?” I asked, holding it up.

  The man made that terrible noise again before releasing a high pitched scream. As he thoroughly exercised his lungs, he dropped a huge sack of gold and kicked his pansy horse, who galloped off, barely missing me.

  “Thank you for traveling through Sherwood Forest!” I yelled after him, shrugging at his stupidity. I paused before picking up the bag of gold, it would help the village, but I was still uneasy about the whole ‘robbing’ thing.

  “ROBYN!” Much bellowed as he jumped out of the bushes after spotting me and the gold pouch.

  “It wasn’t my fault! I was walking, and there was this fat guy. And he dropped this, and then he ran,” I stammered.

  Much fixed me with a look much like a mother would give her child when she did not believe a tale he had just woven.

  “I didn’t do anything!” I sulked as I dropped the bag and kicked it a few feet away.

  Much walked after it and paused, just like me, before picking it up. The second he did Marian, on her grey mare, which was sure to die at any moment due to stress, tore up to us.

  “Ah-hah! I caught you! Now you have to become an outlaw! Soon there will be rumors all over Nottingham about you!” she cackled, from the way it sounded one would think she wanted me to be beheaded.

  “Whatever,” I frostily spat as Much opened the bag. His eyes practically popped out of his head, so I figured there must be a large amount of gold, money, or both in the bag.

  I cocked my ear, intensely listening. “Back to the woods,” I hissed, grabbing Marian and Much’s arms, hauling them into Sherwood with me, Marian’s mare trailing behind.

  We reached camp and the three of us sat down on logs and counted the money. It was enough to evenly spread it out between the villagers, and give some extra to Much’s parents as a thank you for faithfully supplying us.

  I frowned as I held a gold piece up to the sunlight. It twinkled as I tossed it back into the bag. We already divided the gold pieces out into separate piles for each family.

  “We HAVE to make sure that the villagers keep this a secret and don’t open their big mouths so the sheriff hears about it. If he does he’ll tax them even more!” I grumbled.

  Marian grinned. “Don’t worry. The people hold you on a pedestal as high as their king. I doubt they’ll say anything,” she smirked as we loaded the gold into small separate bags Marian sewed together while Much and I divided the gold out.

  Rumors will tell you that Robin Hood and his Merry Men gave half of it away, and kept the rest. That is completely false. What use would it have for me? Decoration? Heavens no! I gave all of it away. In return, much later in the story, the villagers usually gave us free food and clothes.

  I shrugged and studied the fading light. “Shouldn’t you get going Marian?” I asked as she finished the last tiny bag.

  “Yes. Father will be most upset if I miss the evening meal,” she delicately sighed as she stood. She briefly embraced me before hopping up on her mare. “Good bye dear Robin Hood!” she said. “I shall miss you terribly, you too Much!” she called as she kicked her mare and took off flying.

  “That girl is going to break her neck,” Much said as we finished loading the gold.

  “Just don’t stand in her path when she leaves,” I advised as I loaded bags of gold into the hidden pockets inside my cape before tossing one underneath my hat.

  My greenish, suede hat with the pheasant feather was now a permanent part of my costume, along with my green cape and my usual lincoln green uniform. “Let’s go,” I crisply bid, straightening my cap.

  Much nodded and we plodded off to the village. We reached it when the sun was set and the stars were twinkling overhead. We exchanged nods and got to work, laying a small bag of gold at each doorstep. (And a big one at Much’s house.) We knocked on the door at Much’s house and fled, but to alert the villagers I struck the chapel bell with three arrows, making it ring three times.

  Since I used my longbow we were a safe distance away when torches flared to life in the village. Much and I watched the men lumber to the doors and open them up, pausing and scratching their skulls when they spotted the small pouch on their f
ront step.

  “Our work here is done!” Much proudly said, walking back to Sherwood. I paused, watching the excited village men shout as they ran to greet each other. I smiled again before I turned, my cape billowing around me as I stalked after Much.

  We returned to camp together and slept soundly that night, feeling rather good about ourselves. It was decided. We would become full-fledged outlaws and steal from the rich to give to the poor.

  The following morning I woke to the sounds of peasant folk, nearly a forth of a mile away, walking about my forest. I groaned and rolled over to poke Much. “Much.” I said.

  “Ermf,” he replied, flipping over, still sound asleep.

  “Much. Wake up,” I ordered, prodding him harder. I threw my blankets off and folded them into neat squares before stuffing a hunk of bread in my mouth to serve as my breakfast. I shook out my clothes to get rid of some of the wrinkles and stomped my feet, shaking my head as I tried to wake myself up. I swiftly washed in the river before clothing myself and climbing up a tree, listening for the villagers. They had passed by us and were already a good third of a mile away.

  “Much. Get up. We have company,” I said, pushing him with my booted foot. Much grunted and rolled over. I scowled before grabbing a wooden bucket, filling it with water, and emptying it over his head.

  “WHAT?” he yelped.

  “We have visitors,” I repeated, tossing him the rest of the loaf of bread, which he gobbled down.

  “I’m going ahead to scout it out. Meet me at the lightning tree when you’re ready,” I ordered before slipping off into the forest.

  I snaked along unseen trails as I followed my ears to the peasants. I crawled up a tree and watched them pass under me. It was Will Stutely and four of his friends. They were charging through the forest, going in circles. I would have wondered at their intellect, except they appeared to be searching for something.

  I shrugged. They were talking with low voices and I wasn’t able to make out words even though they were relatively close to me. I slid down the tree and bounded away, unseen and unheard by them. I stopped when I reached a huge tree that was split in half courtesy of a lightning bolt.

  Much was already there, up and sleepily blinking at the forest “Will Stutely and some of his friends are wandering around the forest. I can’t hear what they’re up to. Wanna give Will a chance to meet Robin Hood?” I grinned. (This would quite possibly turn out to be my worst idea ever.)

  “Sure, why not? You seem to be big in making hero appearances lately,” Much said, stifling a yawn as he led the way back to Will and his friends.

  We crept along the forest floor, running from bush to bush in an effort to get in front of them. Much, being his usual smarty self, hid in underbrush that was so close to Will and his friends that their clothes brushed the foliage. It served him right when Will stepped on his hand.

  After Much finished silently screaming we dove away and managed to scramble some odd yards in front of the boys before hiding behind two trunks. I pressed myself deeper into the rough bark of the trunk as Much sulked and cradled his hand while we waited for Will Stutely. Moments later Will and his four followers carelessly strode pass, not noticing our presence until I pushed off my tree and called out, “Who dares to walk within Sherwood Forest?”

  Much also emerged, shaking his stepped on hand and frowning as I felt for the reassurance of the hood I had thrown over my head.

  Will Stutely and his companions whirled around. Will smiled when he saw my cape. “Robin Hood,” he breathed as the other boys backed up a few steps.

  “The one and only,” Much acknowledged for me before striking a pose and tossing his head.

  “My name is Will Stutely,” he told me after grinning at Much. “And my friends and I have come to join your band of Merry Men.”

  I fought the giggle that threatened to erupt in my throat, turning it into a muffled snort. “How do I know you’re not spies?” I hastily scoffed, praying that my voice was deep enough.

  Will bit his lip before his eyes lit up and he plopped down to his knees, motioning for his friends to do the same. “I, Will Stutely,” Will started, his friends mimicking him. “Pledge my loyalty to Robin Hood. I shall do whatever he orders me to, until the last breath I take. He will be first in my loyalties before all, including the King, except for God himself,” he said.

  “No matter what?” I questioned as Much tried to hold back a laugh.

  “Even if the world ends,” Will firmly answered for the group.

  I grinned and pulled back my hood and plucked off my hat, letting my chin length hair fall out.

  Will’s jaw dropped. “Robyn?” he asked. “ROBYN!” he yelled, his face breaking out into a grin as he stood and quickly picked me up by my waist and whirled me around. Will always was rather friendly. “I thought you died!” he said with a smile as he set me down and the other village boys grinned, recognizing me. “You never went back to your parent’s place and nobody ever found you.”

  “In a way Robyn died, yes,” I agreed as Much and Will shook hands.

  “So she saved you huh, Much?” Will asked as Much nodded and beamed, looking at me like a proud father. “You’ve got more guts and courage than I, Robyn,” Will sighed, shaking his head. “Which is why my friends and I will stand by your side,” he brightly finished

  “Thanks, I think,” I dryly said.

  “I’m not joking Robyn. Our pledges still stand, just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean we won’t follow you,” Will Stutely said.

  I gazed at Will, realizing exactly what I just got myself into. They were trusting me to lead them and to help the villagers. I was responsible for their lives. “It’s good to have you with us Will,” I said as we clasped arms.

  Will winked. “Yeah, I bet! Much can be a real bear in the morning,” he said, grinning at my original Merry Man.

  Much scowled. “Watch it newbie!” he said. “I’ve got seniority rights!” he barked.

  Will and the other men laughed. “Come on!” I said, excited for the first time in a long while. “I’ll show you our hideout!”

  For the next month Much and I were busy training Will and his friends. To be fair, I did dump most of the teaching duties off on Much. He taught them intimate details about the forest, including, but not limited to: tracking, forging, and reading and writing. (Don’t be fooled, those boys could barely tell a N from a M. Much taught them just enough that, with the help of pictures, they would be able to read the papers the sheriff posted.)

  During the day I was gone, (Much still accused me of hiding but that is completely untrue… well, mostly anyway.) either off hunting, or I would single handedly rob an unsuspecting noble. (Whenever I did I had a nervous breakdown before and after. I had to be the most cowardly outlaw alive.)

  But I was involved with my men! In the afternoon I would return to camp and make everyone practice archery. Just to make sure my pride didn’t get too big for my breeches, Much would beat me up with the staff for a while before we practiced our swordsmanship. We would finish off the evening with a group dinner. Usually it was, surprise, deer. Then if I had robbed a noble we would sneak into the village and leave money on doorsteps.

  During this month the Sheriff started to get more serious about finding me, especially when he heard the rumor that I had new recruits. Once the trainees finished learning everything Much and I could teach them we started to rob the rich on a much bigger scale than before. Soon the name Robin Hood and his Merry Men spread through Nottingham like wildfire. We robbed a noble almost every day. No one could stop us, no matter how many guards they had! (At least that’s what everyone claimed. In reality I was usually too afraid to make a move if a rich man was guarded.)

  The next part of my story is one of the most important days in my life. We were waiting alongside the road for a noble, and sure enough we were rewarded. My band now had six members, not including me.

  I yawned as I spotted a dappled pair of horses pulling an expensive looking
carriage. Four mounted guards were posted along side the coach, all of them clothed in a bright, tomato red uniform. The monstrous and tacky carriage was a matching red, plated in gold. I lazily whistled. We had a secret code, created from a series of whistles. Certain whistles meant certain things, and each member of my band had a specific responding whistle.

  I heard Much whistle, not far from my right. It was a pitiful excuse of a whistle, one that I could never mistake for anyone else. Will Stutely responded, he was across the road with three of the other members, and the last member whistled on my left. I was perched on a branch hanging over the road, giving me the perfect view.

  I whistled again as the carriage rounded the crest of the hill, letting my Merry Men know that we were going to surround the carriage.

  I swallowed deeply as the jingling grew closer. Anxiety clawed at my throat as I stared at the road. I watched the dapple horses pull up underneath me before I jumped down from my tree branch and landed with a thump on top of the carriage, which slowed to a stop. My men jumped out of their hiding spots, each keeping their bows fastened on the soldiers. I slowly slithered down the side of the carriage and peered at a curtain covered window.

  “Open up, in the name of Robin Hood!” I ordered, cutting down the red curtains with my hunting knife. I squinted in the dim light to spot a scrawny man sitting in the corner of a plushy red seat, shivering as he held his arms up. I released a whoosh of air out of my lungs in relief, I was always terrified that one day I would find a trained warlord in a carriage. I opened up the carriage door and let myself inside.

  I had taken off my cape for this event, by now there were so many descriptions of me it didn’t matter if anyone saw my face. (Also the cape tended to get in the way while I stomped around and climbed trees. I actually tripped and fell on my face a few times before abandoning it.)

  I glanced around the carriage and tapped my boot on the floor. “You’re getting smarter,” I sincerely complimented him as I plunged my dagger into the floorboards of the carriage and slid it along the boards. “You’ve finally stopped putting your gold in bags out in the open,” I explained as I pried up a plank and grinned, jackpot. Four bags of gold were placed in a hidden compartment in the floor. “MUCH!” I called, and he instantly appeared at my side. I tossed the bags of gold to him. He kept two and passed two off to Will Stutely.