Hope Everlastin' Book 4

by Mickee Madden

  "How could you possibly know about that?" Taryn asked, her eyes wide. She looked at Roan and accused, "So you do know about Guin Baird!"

  Lachlan shot to his feet, his face darkened with hostility. "Wha' has ma faither to do wi' Robert Ingliss?"

  Taryn felt as if she'd been thrust into the heart of a tornado. The room was so thick with tension it clung to her skin. Her gazed volleyed between Lachlan and her brother, who rose to his feet like a man afflicted with arthritis. His face was shockingly pale and taut. It alarmed her to see him like this, but she couldn't bring herself to offer him a kind word, let alone reach out to him.

  Although her throat had partially closed off, she managed to go on. "Papa Ailbert was summoned to the deathbed of a distant uncle, who told him he had to pass on a secret before he died. It was—"

  Roan/Robert cut her off, his voice strained and hardly sounding like his own. "I couldna stand the guilt. A few months efter Tessa and I married, I couldna look at her no mair wi’ou' thinkin’ o' wha' I'd done."

  "What are you talking about?" Taryn asked, believing her brother had lost his mind.

  "Be quiet, lass," Lachlan warned her. "Leave him be till he's finished."

  As if in a daze, Roan/Robert went on, "I went to see Uncle George, ma mither's brither. He'd never approved o' me, but he was always there when I needed him." A sour laugh rattled in his throat. "And I really needed his advice at tha' time."

  Roan/Robert looked across the room and stared bleakly into Lachlan's dark eyes. He knew from the laird's rigid bearing that the man was in pain, the anticipation of what was to come evident in the gaunt lines of his face. The memories were freed from Roan's subconscious. Now he understood the bond that had kept his soul tied to Lachlan.

  "My mither was a wild girl," said Roan/Robert.

  "Roan!" Taryn cried, outraged that he could say such a thing about their mother. She didn't realize Robert was talking through her brother.

  "Haud yer wheesht!" Lachlan barked at Taryn.

  As if unaware of the interruption, Roan/Robert continued, "Her parents couldna control her. She had an affair wi' a married mon, and eventually gave birth to his son. Her faither refused to have anymair to do wi' her. He demanded she no' use the family's name on her bastard, but she defied him still, instead, addin’ anither ‘S' to the end o' it.

  "My faither visited now and then. He was a cruel mon, but ma mither loved him. I heard wi' ma own ears his promise to wed her. Said he despised his wife and couldna go on pretendin’ he had any feelin’s left for her."

  Taryn wanted to shout at him, to tell him to stop ranting and acting so insane, but her insides were cold and she couldn't stop shaking. Something was happening that she didn't understand. Intermittently, she could almost swear she could see a translucent face appearing in front of her brother's when he spoke, flicking on and off like a spectral mask.

  "But he didna marry her. When I was thirteen, he came to the house. Ma mither was cryin’ she was so angry wi' him. It was the first time I heard her raise her voice to him, or defy his wishes. She demanded he leave his wife. Ma mither told him she had given up her family for him, and her son deserved to know his half-brithers." He sneered the next words. "She told him she would tell Missy Ciarda the truth."

  Lachlan murmured a prayer in Gaelic, and Roan's features became lax as the spectral mask became more defined.

  Only the spectral mouth moved as Robert said, "She never did. Passed away two years later o' a stomach ailment. I went to live wi' Uncle George. He wasna happy abou' it. He had his own family, and money was scarce. One time, no' long efter I moved in, he told me I had four half-brithers who were livin’ like royalty. He resented them all, and said he was o' a mind to expose the Bairds' secrets and let the mighty Guin get a taste o' his own medicine.

  "When next I saw ma faither, I was twenty-four. He came to the textile mill where I worked wi' ma love, Tessa Aiken. He took me to an isolated park, where we sat on the grass and he told me he needed ma help. Said he was desperate for ma help. His youngest son had returned to Aberdeen to choose a bride. He said this son, Lachlan, had tried to ruin the family business. Had taken maist o' their fortune, includin’ wha' he had put aside for me.

  "I was enraged by all I heard. Enraged to make this so-called brither pay for denyin’ me wha' was rightfully mine. Ma faither told me o' a plan and, although I didna believe Tessa and I could carry it through, I needed to try."

  Roan/Robert's bleak expression became enhanced with torment. He stared at Lachlan, his shoulders slumped. "Years afore, I'd told Tessa ma faither had died when I was verra young. All she knew abou' the plan was tha' this mon, Lachlan, had wronged ma family. Twas why she went along wi' it. She never knew ma faither had asked me to...murder ma brither."

  "She drove the dirk into ma heart," Lachlan accused.

  "We were in love," Laura/Tessa murmured. "So poor, love wasna enough. I knew Robbie couldna pull off killin’ Lachlan. Despite everythin’, he liked him. I think he...respected him. But it wasna Robbie tha' Lachlan wanted to bed. I couldna stand the thought o' any man touchin’ me but Robbie, so I...I took the initiative to spare him."

  Her hardened gaze cut to Lachlan. "But you couldna just die, could you? I drove tha' blade straight into yer heart, but you held on, tormentin’ Robbie even efter yer daith!"

  "Tessa!" Roan/Robert growled.

  Taryn wanted to run from the room, but she knew her legs wouldn't support her. They were all insane! Worse yet, it was contagious! Now she was seeing a superimposed image on Laura's face. It was translucent, yet blond ringlets at the sides of the face and icy blue eyes were clearly visible.

  "You had everythin’ handed to you yer entire life," Laura/Tessa said scathingly to Lachlan. "You betrayed yer faither and brithers, and nearly destroyed everythin’ yer faither built. Why should I feel sorry for the likes o' you? You thought you could buy a wife!

  "Aye...I hated you, Lachlan! Aye...it felt bloody good plungin’ tha' dirk into yer miserable heart!" Breaths roared in and out of her lungs. "I would do it again for Robbie! For me!"

  A whimper escaped Laura and she swayed then gripped the mantel and steadied herself. The ghostly imaged vanished. Eyes wide with horror, she stared at Lachlan. "That wasn't me!" she cried. "Lachlan, I couldn't stop her!"

  "Tis no' yer fault, Laura," said Lachlan. He glanced down at Beth's stricken face, sat beside her and draped an arm about her shoulders. "Are you feelin’ jaggey, Beth?"

  She stiltedly shook her head, her gaze riveted on Roan. "Go on."

  Roan/Robert appeared dazed. Lachlan watched him for a moment, stood, and approached him until they were within arm's reach of each other.

  "Robbie—" Lachlan had to clear his throat in order to go on. "Was the money, the life-style, worth killin’ me for?"

  The light brown eyes of both Roan and Robert stared with stricken solemnity into Lachlan's face. A single tear fell unchecked down his cheek, and Roan swayed.

  "For the rest o' ma life, I couldna close ma eyes wi’ou' seein’ yer eyes those last seconds as I walled you up in the tower. If only you had been angry at me...at the injustice and the betrayal. If I could have just seen anger in yer eyes, I could have convinced myself wha' we'd done was for the better.

  "I told Uncle George wha' I'd done," Robert went on, "and he kept sayin’, 'Yer own brither. Yer own brither'. Like I didna know wha' a monster I was, already. I made him promise you would be properly buried when Tessa and I were gone...dead.

  "As you know, I was first to die, but I waited for her spirit to leave her body on her death and then hastened her through to the ither side so you couldna keep her here. I denied you even tha' pleasure. Tha' wasna ou' o' spite, though, Lachlan, but for the sake o' yer own soul."

  Silence domed the room for excruciating minutes. Taryn's skin crawled as she stared apprehensively at the two men. She could no longer believe this was a cruel joke on her brother's part. The drama was too real, the emotional torment of the men more than a seasoned act
or could possibly portray with such realism.

  "I wrote a full confession and gave it to ma uncle," Roan/Robert said dully. "He passed it on to his son, who passed it on to ma son Robert when Tessa died. Twas Robert who had you buried in the field. Twas Robert who exposed his parents' heinous crime, but kept secret ma Baird lineage."

  "Say the words," said Lachlan, his voice hardly more than a hoarse whisper. "Roan canna be free o' you till you do. I've no fondness for you, Robbie, brither or no', but Roan means a lot to me, and I willna have him bear yer bloody guilt anither day."

  The superimposed image broke up then returned, the ghostly visage a mask of sorrow and poignant regret.

  "Did you die soon efter the wall was sealed? I have to know."

  Lachlan's response was a barely perceivable shake of his head. The translucent eyes shut tightly. They opened to reveal such anguish that even Taryn was choked up with tears.

  "The takin’ o' any life is grievous enough," said Robert Ingliss, independent now of Roan, his metallic voice softly echoing in the room. "But the takin’ o' a mon's life by his own kin can have no forgiveness. Do I regret havin’ money to take care o' ma wife and children, and live in this house? No. Do I regret losin’ a brither to obtain it all...aye, I do.

  "I inherited our faither's greed and his black heart. I couldna have carried through wi' wha' I did if I'd been a mon o' honor."

  Lachlan looked down at his shiny boots for a few seconds then looked into the eyes of his past. "Aye, greed was in part yer motivation, Robbie, but I know too weel ma—our—faither's cunnin’. Twas the honorable part o' you who couldna rest durin’ yer life efter tha' night, nor rest in daith."

  Lachlan glanced at Laura. "Tessa protected her body and her love for you in the only way she felt she could." His gaze swerved to Robbie's image. "No' that' I condone her betrayal, for I did love her, Robbie. At least I thought I did till ma Beth came along. I know now tha' wha' I truly felt for Tessa was only infatuation."

  Roan/Robert nodded, and a sigh passed Roan's lips. "For Roan, and for the eternal peace I long for, I say to you now wha' should have been spoken long ago. I regret ma weaknesses and ma lack o' compassion. I regret turnin’ on a mon who opened his home to me, and who trusted me to be the mon I claimed to be.

  "Forgive me, Lachlan. I pray you forgive me and mine for all we did to you."

  A shudder coursed through Lachlan. Tilting back his head, he closed his eyes and locked his teeth. For one hundred and fifty-three years he had nurtured a sickening hollowness in his gut over the betrayal, and now it was gone. He was at last free of its presence. He couldn't understand why, but hearing of his father's betrayal only hurt a little. He'd never expected much from his father, but he had liked Robbie Ingliss before that tragic night.

  When he again looked into the translucent eyes, and beyond into Roan's, he realized that the past was very nearly that—gone and no part of his future. Immensely relieved it was over and the truth was out, he said, "I do forgive you, Robbie Ingliss Baird, and I wish you and Tessa peace and happiness in the ither world. Give ma regards to our faither," he added wryly. "Och, better yet, tell him for me to take a dive off a high cloud, but no' one over Baird House."

  The ghostly lips mouthed a "Thank you," before the spectral features faded away into nothingness.

  Roan swayed. Gripping him by the shoulders, Lachlan said calmly, "Tis over, Roan. We're both free." He glanced at Laura and corrected, "We three are free o' the past."

  "Ma stomach's churnin’," Roan said, a sickly pallor to his skin.

  "Tis unmonly to purge one's innards in the company o' ladies," Lachlan said merrily. He gave Roan's right shoulder a hearty clap. "Roan, ma friend! Are you no' feelin’ just a wee different, for the better, I mean? Lighter, perhaps?" He laughed and gave Roan a shake. "No mair Robbie swirlin’ around in yer subconscious!"

  Roan blinked in bewilderment. "I do feel different."

  "Unburdened. No guilt."

  Roan nodded then frowned. "You and Robbie, brithers. No wonder his soul couldna rest."

  "Aye."

  Roan’s frown smoothed out, but returned with more intensity. "How could you bring yerself to forgive him, Lannie?" He grimaced and placed a hand over his hammering heart. "And yer faither—fegs, the bastard!"

  "Roan, I dinna care abou' any o' it no mair. It wasna hard to forgive Robbie or Tessa. Twas anither time. Ma mind and ma heart belong to the here and the now, and lettin’ go was the easiest thing I've ever done. But how are you farin’? Ye're still a wee pale."

  "I'm fine. So there won’t be anymair o' these visitations?"

  "You're free, laddie."

  Roan gulped and glanced at his sister. She was staring at him as if he were a stranger, and it dawned on him that she had no idea about what had transpired. He offered a smile of heartfelt appreciation to Lachlan, then sat on the coffee table and took Taryn's hands into his own. Her skin was like ice, and he readily noted her unease with his touch, but he didn't care.

  "Laura and I are the reincarnations o' Tessa and Robert," he said with a goofy grin.

  "Right," she smirked.

  "I'm serious, Taryn."

  She looked up at Lachlan. He nodded.

  "You're all nuts." Pulling her hands away, she nervously patted the tight French braid at the back of her head. "Ghosts and reincarnation? Have you any idea how ludicrous this all sounds?"

  Roan and Lachlan exchange a conspiratorial glance.

  "It'll seem the norm when you've been around here awhile."

  "Any more secrets I should know about?" she asked bitterly.

  "No," Roan lied quickly, thinking of Deliah.

  "Thank God! And here I thought I'd brought you this shocking revelation." Her sarcasm was so strong, Roan had to laugh.

  "It shocked the truth ou'. It was the proddin’ I needed."

  "Wait a minute," she said, holding up her hands. "Does this mean you and Laura don't have your own souls? I thought the soul and the spirit were the same."

  For the first time, Winston spoke up. "They are, in a sense. A soul can be fractured upon leaving the body."

  Taryn cast him a disgruntled look, and interjected, "Fractured. Oh, that explains everything. Thank you."

  Winston smiled tolerantly. "Please, permit me to finish. Someone living a long time with emotional or physical pain, or an unexpected death in which the person's subconscious hasn't had time to prepare for the departure, can cause fragmentation. Guilt tormented Robert and Tessa for most o' their lives and, when they died, segments o' their souls carried over to Laura and Roan in search o' absolution they couldn't grant themselves. But they're whole now. Your brother and Laura can live ou' their lives in peace."

  "I have a headache." Taryn rose to her feet. "A major headache. If you all don't mind, I think I'll go to my room and take a long nap."

  As soon as she was out of the room, Winston's mouth formed a rueful grin. "I can't believe she's your sister."

  Roan nodded. "No' to blow ma own horn, but we are verra different."

  "Blow to your heart's content," Beth said, her tone sickeningly-sweet, the smile accompanying it verifying her dislike of the woman. She stepped to Lachlan's side and placed an arm about his middle. "A few days around her, and I may start fantasizing about plunging the dirk into her heart."

  Lachlan chuckled and planted a kiss on her flushed cheek. "Retract yer claws, lass."

  Beth grunted. "If you give her the opportunity to lip-lock with you again, darling, you'll wish you were back in the afterlife."

  "There is only one pair o' lips for me," he said. His attention was drawn to Roan, who was staring at Laura somberly, his brow furrowed in thought.

  "Roan?"

  Roan swung his gaze to Lachlan.

  "Tis over," said Lachlan.

  With a sigh of despair, Roan shuffled out of the room.

  Beth turned to Laura. She'd been appalled when Tessa had gone into her tirade. It had taken all of her willpower to not jump to Lachlan's defense,
not to tell the woman that Beth thought her to be a pathetic excuse for a human being. She was glad now she hadn't. Everything that was said had needed saying, but she knew that an aftermath of shame would shadow Laura and Roan for some time to come.

  "You okay, Laura?"

  The green eyes were dull and the corners of her mouth drooped. With a single nod, she murmured, "I'll be with the boys." Laura left the library as lethargic as Roan had been moments ago.

  Beth linked her arms through one of Lachlan's and leaned her head against him. "This has been one helluva a day, already."

  "Aye, it has," Lachlan said softly. He asked Winston, "How soon can you find ou' if Beth's daith is on record here?"

  "First thing in the morning, if that's all right. I promised Deliah we'd spend this afternoon together." He looked sheepish, and added, "You know."

  Grinning, Lachlan nodded then smacked a palm to his brow. "Fegs, I nearly forgot! I gave Reith some money for clothes. I was supposed to get him a ride to town this morn."

  Standing, Winston said, "I hope you're no' asking me to let you use ma car."

  Lachlan's expression went deadpan. "Are you insultin’ ma drivin’ skills?"

  "Absolutely."

  Beth chuckled and winked at Winston. He returned the gesture then said good-naturedly to Lachlan, "I saw him earlier at the carriage house. He told me to tell you he'd already gone to town."

  Sighing woefully at his forgetfulness, he asked Winston, "Did you spare the lad a grillin’?"

  Winston feigned a lot of affront, a hand resting over his heart. "Me? Perish the thought."

  "The birds like him." Lachlan's statement took Winston aback, prompting the laird to explain, "They dinna easily trust strangers."

  "Ah." Winston passed a look of amusement to Beth. "Lachlan, then far be it for me to question the wisdom o' a feathered friend."

  "Speaking of clothes," Beth piped up, "Deliah could use a wardrobe of her own."

  "I know," said Winston. "She's never been off this land. It's time she learned to—" He grinned impishly. "—spread her wings."