Shared Secret

by Ed Bemand

  “What about tying you down and doing stuff?”

  “I’ve never done that kind of stuff.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s not something that I’ve ever been into. I like to have my hands free.”

  Alex stared at his drink.

  “So you’re getting hung up on finding a big strong woman to boss you around the place?” His curiosity provoked, Joe probed.

  “I just keep thinking about things... about being tied down.”

  “Whatever floats your boat. What’s the problem?”

  “I could never expect Maria to do that kind of thing.”

  “And?”

  “I’m married to her.”

  The silence conveyed the repeated question.

  “That’s all there is. I made a choice. Just me and her.”

  “Don’t you think she’s ever done anything?”

  “What? Cheated on me? Is that what you’re saying?”

  “Call it what you want. Don’t you think she has?”

  “She hasn’t. She’d have told me.”

  “Of course. I bet she’d rush to tell you right after she’d finished getting fucked through the wall.”

  “Don’t say things like that. She’s my wife.”

  “Whatever you say, man.”

  Alex tried to convince himself that Joe was just stirring up trouble. He was just saying it to give Alex the excuse to commit the first infidelity. And what if he did? By that logic wouldn’t that mean that she was entitled to do it herself whether she already had or not? Wouldn’t that be the end of their marriage?

  He went back to just trying not to think about it. He tried to stop looking at the pictures but it was all that turned him on. His mind was getting crowded with confusing images. He frantically pumped his cock while watching beautiful women in a variety of aspects. But it was all so very dull. He had got so used to the forcefulness... the strength of personality of the other stuff. Conventional sex seemed so mundane and flavourless by comparison.

  He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted the imaginary woman to do to him, but that was part of it, the excitement and uncertainty about what might happen. Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if she could just appear and take control, doing whatever she wanted, what he needed?

  He couldn’t imagine Maria ever being able to take charge of him like that. She just wasn’t that kind of girl. She had enough trouble deciding what they should have for dinner. In some ways Alex didn’t mind her habitual indecisiveness. It invariably meant that they went to see the films he wanted, ate from the restaurants and takeaways he liked, but it might have been nice if she could have had her own opinion or desire sometimes. If she could have been a bit stronger...

  There was no point worrying about it though. He knew his wife and she wasn’t like that. She was nice and good and loyal and caring, but she wasn’t the kind of girl that wanted to wear PVC and treat him like that. He knew her.

  So what could he do? These desires were there and the more he tried to push them down and forget about them the more they just kept bubbling up and bothering him. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. He found himself getting aroused by his daydreams in work. It was embarrassing. He’d be sat at his desk, doing what he had to do and then some chance thought would stir his cock into life and he’d have an erection that just wouldn’t go away. He hoped that nobody noticed.

  He didn’t want to lose her. He loved his wife and wanted to be with her, but she just couldn’t offer him what he needed right now. He had no idea what to do. His cock was hard and begging for release. Begging him to find a way out.

  Chapter 2 - How Alex got it

  Alex was glad when Maria told him that she was joining a book-club. It meant that she’d be out of the house every Tuesday evening. Mostly he was glad because it meant that she would be doing something other than moping at home, but also of course, he was glad that it meant that he had at least a couple of hours when he could watch whatever he wanted and not be constantly worried about the volume of it.

  Tuesday evening arrived. Really, it would have been a waste to only do it once. She came back home all too quickly, and he had to rush to pull his trousers up and dispose of the evidence when he heard her key in the door. He managed to be reasonably dressed and downstairs to greet her.

  “Have fun?”

  “Yes... talking about books.”

  “I kinda assumed that. Did you know the book?”

  “No but it was okay. I was still able to get involved. I think I’ll go back next week. How about you, been up to much?”

  “Not much, just watching TV.”

  He frantically tried to think of something appropriate that he could have been watching at this time of day. What was even on?

  She watched TV for hours most days. She probably knew the schedule backwards and would immediately stop if he got it wrong. It didn’t matter. She didn’t ask. He felt relieved.

  “Are you going to read the book for next week?”

  “Of course.” She seemed annoyed, like he was accusing her of something. He hadn’t known her to read a book before in the years that they had been together. She waved a copy of the book at him. It looked pretty thick and there was a photo of a dead fish on the cover. Alex didn’t pretend to understand modern literature.

  Alex looked forward to Tuesday evening all week. He rushed home from work, eager for the chance to spend some time alone. Maria was on her way out to her meeting when he got home.

  “If it’s alright with you, I’ll hang around after and grab a bite to eat.”

  “That’s fine.”

  “You’ll be able to sort dinner out for yourself?”

  “I’ll manage. Enjoy yourself.”

  “Thanks. You too.”

  The hours flew by in a blur of sordid images. His dinner turned out to be a bowl of cereal, eaten while staring at the screen with his trousers around his ankles.

  Maria was tired when she got home and just wanted to go to bed. Alex was feeling drained from his own exertions and didn’t argue. It didn’t take long for him to want to do it again. There just weren’t enough opportunities for him to spend a couple of hours with himself normally. Who could blame him for being glad that Maria wanted to stay out longer, the one evening in the week she went out?

  “You don’t mind having to fend for yourself? Maybe you’ll actually manage real food this time.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  “Or even get a takeaway if you really can’t be bothered to cook.”

  Tuesday evening found him in the same position, sat at his computer, trousers around his ankles, staring at graphic videos of women doing unpleasant things to men. The impact of the images was definitely diminishing. He’d seen so many woman abusing so many men now that he was becoming desensitised. Sat there for several hours, one hand almost permanently clamped around his cock, he just couldn’t manage to cum. He was feeling sore from all the mindless pumping but it just wasn’t working.

  When it finally happened, his orgasm was fleeting and soon over. It still felt almost good enough to make up for the shame and embarrassment that assailed him as he sat there afterwards, his cum cooling in a tissue and his cock shrivelling away.

  Guilt settled on him. It seemed impossible to satisfy both his lust and his conscience and he was satisfying neither by frustrating himself. All he was achieving was making himself treat the woman that he loved worse.

  He couldn’t be bothered to cook dinner so he braved the elements to walk to the nearest takeaway. Already feeling rather squalid and undignified, a greasy kebab seemed like what he deserved.

  Another week went by. Nothing much seemed to have changed. Maria sat around all day, not doing very much. Alex worked. When he got home, most nights he was too tired to want to do anything. The grind was depressing.

  She was already gone when he got home on Tuesday. In the moment that seemed like a good thing. He didn’t have to waste any time. He could start watching one of his favourite videos
straight away. An hour went by as video followed video. He was idly pumping his cock while he watched, but it wasn’t really doing much.

  He didn’t even hear the door open. He knew that he had the sound up a bit too high on the video he was watching, but he was sure that he’d be alone in the house for at least a couple more hours.

  “You’ve been a very naughty boy.”

  He jumped in his chair at the voice behind him. He turned and it was like one of his fantasies had come to life, an attractive, mature woman dressed all in black leather. Her corset was tight and gave her an astonishing cleavage. Her boots were high and shiny and she wore black gloves that reached above her elbows.

  “What? No, who are you?”

  “Shush. There’s no point trying to deny it. I know exactly what you’ve been getting up to.”

  She was holding a riding crop in her hand, tapping the end idly against her leg.

  “How many times have you made yourself cum today?”

  “I haven’t, I don’t...”

  “Stop stuttering. How many times today?”

  “None.”

  What was this woman doing in his house? He wanted to ask but her demeanour discouraged him. Her scowl was very intimidating.

  “Show me.”

  His cock was very hard.

  “I suppose I’ll believe you, but I bet that if I’d got here ten minutes later that would be shrivelled away to nothing and you’d be clutching a handful of damp tissues.”

  Alex didn’t know how to respond and certainly didn’t want to justify his masturbatory habits to this woman.

  “Nothing to say? Clearly I’m right. Now, you’ve got a couple of very simple choices that you can make. Would you like to hear what they are?”

  He nodded jerkily.

  “Are you going to do exactly what I say, or am I going to leave here now and never come back?”

  “Who are you?”

  She slapped the crop down, the end caught him sharply on the bare flesh of his thigh.

  “I didn’t say you could ask questions. Now choose.”

  “What’s going on here? I didn’t let you in, how did you get here? Is this some kind of fucked up home invasion?”

  She tutted under her breath and turned to leave.

  “Don’t go.”

  “Will you do what you’re told?”

  “That depends...”

  There was a harsh flash of light. She’d pulled a camera out from somewhere and taken a picture of him. Sat there with his shirt undone, his trousers and shorts round his ankles and his cock erect. It would be a slightly compromising photo.

  “Will you do what you’re told?”

  “But...”

  The camera flashed again.

  “I’ll be going.”

  “Please don’t... I will, I just...”

  “Shut up.”

  Alex stemmed the flow of faltering words that were stumbling from his mouth.

  “I’m not here to rob you. I know what you want and I can help you to get it, but only if you do exactly what I tell you to do. Just nod if you understand.”

  He nodded twice.

  “Good boy. Now which is it, do you want to do what you’re told, or should I just leave?”

  “I’ll do what I’m told.”

  “Good for you. Now I can already guess what you were doing before I came in. Would you like to show me?”

  He was reluctant. Did she really want him to stroke his cock? She glanced at her watch irritably.

  “Just get on with it. Grab your cock and start pumping, or are you too scared?”

  He gripped it tentatively. It was still very hard.

  “What’s the problem, don’t I excite you?”

  Of course she did, a severe older woman in black leather, he’d lost count of the number of them he’d spent hours staring at lately in the porn he’d watched.

  “Get on with it.”

  She checked her watch again.

  “I’m going to make this very simple for you. You can stroke yourself as hard as you can for the next two minutes. If you can’t make yourself cum in that time, I’m going to be extremely disappointed in you. Time starts now.”

  Alex just kept idly stroking himself, uncertain. He’d never had to spend so much time holding his cock in front of a woman before.

  “That’s your first half minute gone. Is something the matter? Have you forgotten how to do it? I would’ve thought you’d be used to playing with yourself. Maybe you’re just shy.”

  She prodded him with the crop to punctuate her words.

  “Your cock isn’t shy, is it? It’s after something. Is it me do you think? Does it want to fuck me? One minute. Stop wasting time.”

  Her words were exciting him. His strokes became stronger and more fervent.

  “That’s it. Pump your cock harder. Show me how much you want me.”

  He stroked harder.

  “That’s better. Don’t you want to cum for me?”

  He started to say something but she shushed him.

  “Half a minute. Aren’t you going to cum?”

  It wasn’t working, it was just flesh chafing flesh.

  “Don’t you want to cum for me? Do it. Cum for me. Fifteen seconds. You want to cum, don’t you?”

  He could feel the rising in his balls, he was getting closer.

  “Ten seconds. Harder... do it. Cum. Let me see it. Cum for me. Five, four, three, two...”

  Alex’s cock jerked spasmodically as it spat its first gob of cum into the air. She stopped counting. He twitched again and again. Cum splashed onto his bare thighs, the clothes bundled around his ankles and the carpet.

  “There you go. Good boy. You cut that very fine, didn’t you?”

  He was out of breath from the frantic pumping.

  “Now, you agreed to do whatever I told you, and I’ve been very generous and given you a treat, so now you have to do something for me.”

  “What?”

  “Shh... don’t talk. I want you to save your cum for me. Don’t waste it. Save it for me. Can you do that?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Good boy. You do your best and I’ll come back to see you soon, but you have to promise not to tell anyone about me. Do you understand?”

  Alex nodded.

  “Good boy. Now clean yourself up and make sure to do what I’ve told you.”

  She walked out of the room without looking back at him, pulling the door shut behind her. He wanted to follow her, ask questions, find out what the hell had just happened, but the spectre of her authority remained and the cum on his thighs was starting to get cold and sticky.

  When she was gone he was left confused. He wasn’t sure what had just happened. Was it all just a weird dream brought on by too much wanking? Would he go downstairs and find the TV had gone?

  He couldn’t figure out a decent explanation.

  He wiped up the worst of the cum and pulled up his trousers. He opened the door. Nothing. He looked around the house, making sure that the woman wasn’t waiting for him somewhere. The front door was locked. It didn’t look like it had been tampered with.

  He checked the time. It was barely half seven and he didn’t feel like wanking again. What was he supposed to do to pass the time? Maria probably wouldn’t be back ‘til at least ten. For the first time he actually ended up watching TV but he was too preoccupied with unanswerable questions to be able to give himself over to vapidity. He even cooked himself dinner. Maybe it wasn’t a great success, but the results seemed basically edible.

  Maria didn’t get home ‘til gone eleven.

  “Where have you been?”

  “Sorry... I lost track of time.”

  “Good book group?”

  She smiled weirdly.

  “Very.”

  Chapter 3 - Alex’s guilty secret

  Alex tried really hard to do what he’d been told, even though his cock was screaming at him for attention and his balls were aching from the unfamiliar build-up inside them.
He made it ‘til Saturday morning. He was in the shower. His movements were almost without thought, his erection sudden. It didn’t take much for him to ejaculate. Soapy water flushed away the evidence.

  He kept wondering when, if she would return. He was nervous that she might appear at the house at any time. If it was during the day, he’d be at work and Maria would be home. What would happen if she just turned up? It didn’t feel like it could possibly go well for him. For the next few days he was tormented by the idea every day on his way home, half expecting to open the door and find the two women sat there, swapping stories about his perversions and inadequacies.

  It didn’t happen.

  Tuesday afternoon in the office dragged painfully. He had difficulty paying attention in his meetings and kept finding his gaze drifting to the clock on the wall, willing the hands to move faster.

  At the earliest possible moment Alex logged out of the system and got himself together. He was out the door as quickly as he could manage. He ran into Joe in the corridor.

  “Fancy a beer?”

  “No thanks. I’ve got to get home.”

  “Things looking up between you and Maria, are they?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Well, don’t let me stop you. Every man must do his duty and all that.”

  “Yeah, sure. See you tomorrow.”

  He got home. Maria was already getting herself together to go out. She seemed just as eager to go out as he had been to get home.

  “Will you be staying out afterwards tonight?” he tried to sound as innocent as he could.

  “Probably, you don’t mind, do you?”

  “No, it’s fine. I’ll just be sad and alone I suppose.”

  “There’s a brave boy.” She kissed him on the cheek and headed out. The house felt very empty when she was gone.

  What was he supposed to do now? On any of the previous Tuesday evenings he had known exactly what he would do to pass the time and he would be able to make the hours fly by, but now what? He couldn’t wank, she’d been very clear about that, and he was desperately hoping that she would come to see him again.

  He fretted around the house, his erection a constant presence. He couldn’t spend the evening sat at the computer, he knew it wouldn’t take very long before he would find himself watching porn.