by Quinn, Taryn
The sound seemed to set him off. He pulled me against him, hauling me right into his lap. My bare center met the hard length of his cock and I gasped again, shocked at the arc of pleasure that shot through me.
Then his mouth was on mine, and the pleasure grew like a wildfire.
His hands moved up my back to my shoulders as he angled me right where he wanted me. He kissed me hungrily, desperately, drawing me closer until my breasts mashed to his chest. I cried out from the surprise jolt, and he immediately reared back.
“Too fast? I’m sorry.” He panted between the words, but his concerned gaze never left mine.
“No. Sorry.” I tried again, pressing myself against him with less force. This time, my breasts didn’t hurt. Just twinged in the sweetest way.
As if he knew exactly what I needed, he touched my breast with infinite care. I bit my lip, fairly certain I might shriek if he twisted my nipples right now. Instead, he touched me so tenderly that my eyes grew damp and my breathing stuttered.
“Better?”
“Much. Sorry. Just—”
A little bit pregnant here. Touchy boobs. Who knew?
Only the rest of the world.
“It’s okay. I’m obviously overeager. We should’ve done this in a bed.” He blew out a breath. “Or maybe in one of those snowbanks outside. That might’ve worked to keep me in check.” His gaze dropped to my cleavage. “Then again, probably not.”
Knowing I made him so crazed was freeing in the very best way. Only one thing was still making me hesitate. Make that two.
One was the pea-sized child growing inside me. The other was the one sleeping down the hall.
They both came first. They had to.
“Are you sure you’re all right with this?” He continued to caress me. Never rushing. Offering just enough pressure that the need between my legs climbed and I couldn’t help rubbing against his cock.
His nostrils flared. “I’ll take that as a yes?”
“Yes,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around him. He was so solid and muscled, so strong and hot in my embrace. Capable of withstanding anything.
Unlike me right now. I felt so fragile. So easy to break.
I looked up into his eyes and the worry there nearly shattered me. Fuck my wants. This man deserved to know who he was sleeping with. I wasn’t just his one-time hookup. Not anymore.
Now I was the mother of his baby.
But I was also a coward. And when he kissed me again, framing my face in his big hands, I dismissed the reality pressing in around us. He was everything I yearned for. Such certainty and warmth and passion.
Full of life, when I’d spent so much time looking back at what I’d lost.
His mouth slipped down my neck, his teeth leaving little points of pain that tugged at my clit. He moved lower and drew my nipple between his lips, our gazes connecting. I didn’t know if it was because I couldn’t possibly hurt when we were linked that way, or if I was used to the feeling, but nothing hurt now. That low stirring in my belly grew, and I arched into his erotic kisses, dipping my head back. My hair bobbed along the surface of the bubbling water while he kissed and touched me, his mouth relentless.
I was so primed by the time he slid a hand between my thighs that I nearly came. I was so close. There was no building period, no need for rocking into his strokes to get myself there. I was already on the verge, breathing hard, the tips of my breasts taut and aching and wet from his kisses.
“I want to put my mouth here too,” he growled against my throat, his fingers sliding into me so deeply that darkness shimmered at the edges of my vision.
“I must advocate for water safety—oh, God.” He drew his fingers back then pushed them in again, so deep that I simply forgot what I was saying.
And his thumb brushed over my clit, just right…
“Asher.” I stared at him as my body quaked around his fingers. I gripped his upper arms, holding on for dear life when he didn’t stop. Just kept demanding more from me while the steady flame of green in his eyes burned.
I came again. Or still. It didn’t seem to have an end. His mouth touched mine and he answered with a groan of his own as I trembled.
“I need another ten of those.” His kisses turned rough. “Another twenty.”
“You haven’t had any yet. Whoa.” Still holding on to him, I eased back to breathe. I was still shaking. “I think I’m dehydrated now.”
His raw chuckle against my cheek made me smile. “I should’ve brought in the bottle of wine I have on hand for emergencies.”
“No.”
“Don’t like wine? You liked champagne well enough at the bed and breakfast.”
All at once, the warm haze faded, leaving me far too clear-headed.
This wasn’t right. Wasn’t even slightly fair to him, a man who’d been nothing but decent to me.
He was decent, period. He’d been dealt a shitty hand by life with the loss of his best friend, but he’d manned up like a goddamn champ.
Now you’re about to suckerpunch him again.
“It’s not that.” I slouched down deeper into the froth as if I could disappear. Static crackled on the baby monitor, and I cast it a quick look before it fell silent again. “Those condoms? We don’t need them.”
“No?” His face was friendly. Curious. Open. Lines of strain fanned out from his eyes, and his jaw was still tight, but I suspected that stemmed from his heavy erection.
Give the guy a damn BJ first. At least let him get off.
I would have. I wanted to, God knows. My nipples tightened just from staring at his cock. But even that felt wrong. My mistake had been pretending for even a few minutes that I could do this.
It was bad enough spending the day with him while hiding how our lives had changed. Being intimate with the guy and keeping this to myself? A hundred times worse.
Yes, he would be shocked. Overwhelmed. As I was shocked and overwhelmed.
Maybe between us we could figure this out. Make some kind of plan. He was good at those. And he had a kid already. The role of father didn’t sit easy on his shoulders yet, but perhaps it was kind of like having cats. Having two was barely more work than having one.
God, we were so fucked.
“Hannah? What is it?” He glanced at the baby monitor again. No more crackling, but there were definite whimpers emanating from the speaker. They seemed soft, the humming water nearly drowning them out.
Too bad it couldn’t disguise the thud of my heartbeat in my ears. It was like a ticking time bomb.
“We should see to Lily.” I was already rising to grab one of the fresh towels on the bar.
“Wait.” He touched my thigh, reddened now from the steamy water. “You’re sure we’re okay? That what happened here was okay?”
The only way I could hold back the tears was by turning my head to the side. “Everything we did here was perfect. I’m just sorry that you—” I forced myself to look at him, blinking so fast he probably thought I had an eyelash stuck in my eye. “That you didn’t get to finish.”
“Hopefully, we aren’t through here?” He glanced at the monitor as Lily’s whimpers turned into full-blown tears. He dropped back his head and drew in a long breath. “Get back in the tub. Let me handle this.”
I was already wrapping the towel around me. It wasn’t even just to escape. I felt pulled to that baby, just as I had from the first time I’d seen her.
“Hannah.” He motioned for me to pass him a towel, then climbed out and quickly dried himself off. His erection tented the cotton, but he ignored it as if it didn’t exist. “I’ll be right back. Relax. Seriously. She probably just had a scary dream and she’ll be back to sleep in no time.”
From the sounds coming from the monitor, that wasn’t the case. But I humored him by nodding and shedding my towel. His jaw locked again before he left the room.
I slipped back into the hot tub. There was no orgasmic sigh as I sank into the water this time. I just buried my head in my hands.
&n
bsp; He didn’t come back right away. No, he stayed in the other room, singing to Lily
Singing to her, for God’s sake. And his voice was terrible, which somehow only made it sweeter and more poignant.
Tears rolled unchecked down my cheeks. There was no stopping them. Hormones be damned.
Everything I’d bottled up for months came rushing out, because a man I barely knew was singing to a baby I’d just met and was already growing to love.
I didn’t know how long I sat there. The hot tub bubbled endlessly. Eventually, the singing stopped. I leaned against the back of the Jacuzzi, wondering how I’d missed the little built-in headrest. Leaning against it and closing my eyes was a no-brainer.
I was worn out. Raw in every possible way. Maybe I’d just take a quick catnap.
Footsteps sounded nearby. I tried to raise my head, but it was as heavy as a boulder. Instead, I let myself be lifted, lulled by the strong arms holding me close.
All I’d ever wanted was someone to hold me.
“So tired,” I mumbled.
“Shh. I know, baby.”
His voice rumbled through me, soothing me without effort. I didn’t move when he laid me on the bed. I had my arms around his neck, but I didn’t want to let go. His laughter felt like forgiveness.
He didn’t leave me. His body curled tight to mine, a protector in the night.
I slept.
It was still dark when I opened my eyes and startled in the unfamiliar place. I threw back the covers, momentarily confused by the heavy arm across my midsection. Then it all came back to me and my face flooded with warmth.
I glanced over my shoulder and swallowed deeply at the sight of Asher’s face cast in moonlight. He was stupidly beautiful for a man. His features were rugged, yet his eyelashes were long and his mouth was soft in sleep. Vulnerable.
As vulnerable as I felt right now.
Which was why the boldness growing inside me didn’t make sense. Nothing had changed. I touched my stomach.
My bare stomach.
I’d slept naked with him, which seemed like one more intimacy. He wore a T-shirt and flannel bottoms, his version of keeping me safe from him. Clearly, he hadn’t wanted me to wake up and think any expectations existed.
Except my own.
My pulse racing, I curled back into bed. I tugged the covers up again and stared at him in the silvery darkness.
His eyes opened and the words were right there.
I’m pregnant.
He smiled with his eyes still cloudy with sleep and I reached for him, drawing his mouth to mine. One unhurried kiss led to a dozen more. I pushed my hands under his T-shirt, touching his hair-roughened skin, learning him in all the ways I hadn’t before. The waistband of his bottoms slipped down and I slid my hand lower, cupping him where he was already so hard.
I wanted to take my time. To bring him to the same pinnacle he’d brought me. But I was impatient, and he didn’t hesitate to oblige me. He shoved his pajama pants down and buried his hand in my hair as I dipped my head to kiss my way along his groin. He smelled like that citrus bodywash I’d used in the tub, and I wondered if he’d showered in the glass stall in the corner of the bathroom after he put me to bed.
He’d taken care of me, just as he did with Lily. Even if he was convinced he sucked at it.
God, he was so wrong.
I turned my head and tasted him, just one long lick. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, and I wasn’t brave enough to look at him to see if I was on the right path. So, I followed the cues from his body. How his thighs tensed and his shaft subtly swelled when I gripped him to lift him to my mouth. I licked him there too, shifting against the bed and pressing my thighs together as he rubbed my back.
Pleasuring him was giving me something too. My nipples hurt in the most delicious way. And my clit pounded, needing stimulation too.
For right now, the anticipation was plenty.
His hand wound into my hair, drawing my head up so I had no choice but to meet his eyes as I sucked lightly on the crown of him. His thumb traced over my cheek and I drew on him harder, every part of me clenching when he rolled his hips and flexed upward. Pushing him slightly deeper, matching the careful pull of his hand in my hair.
Always so gentle. Loving me without words.
I reached down to stroke his soft sac, unprepared for him to haul my head up off him. I gasped and he crushed his mouth to mine, tasting every bit of himself on my tongue. “Can’t. Hold. On.” Each word was punctuated with a kiss.
My heart slammed against my ribs as he gripped my hips and yanked me on top of him. I started to say something—what, I didn’t know—but he was beyond his limit. He parted my sticky thighs and groaned at how wet he found me.
“Yes. Fuck, yes. Let me have you.”
I nodded, although I didn’t know if he’d uttered a question or a prayer.
His thumb skated over my clit and I shuddered, closing my eyes. He nudged against my entrance, carefully inching inside. I didn’t want that right now. I needed something more. A way to smooth over the jagged parts of myself that only seemed to settle when I was with him.
I braced my hands on his stomach, rolling my hips until he was fully seated. Following instinct, I drew myself upward. Every drag of his flesh against mine set off nerve endings I hadn’t even known existed. Then I sank back down, biting my lip around the moan I couldn’t contain.
“Christ, you’re beautiful.” He pushed his hands through the hanging ropes of my hair and framed my face, kissing me wildly as my body took over, lifting and lowering again and again. Chasing that elusive feeling I’d only ever found with him.
Not just an orgasm. I could have those on my own. Less spectacular ones, sure. But he wasn’t the keeper of the climax.
He made me feel…safe. Wanted. Appreciated.
Needed for me, not what I could offer. Stripped down to nothing, I was enough.
He grasped my hip and shifted me underneath him, his mouth like a fever against my breasts as he drove into me. He tugged my leg up over his shoulder and I arched, reaching behind me for the pillows to anchor myself.
There was no holding back now. No waiting. No hesitation.
I quivered beneath him, around him, bowing my back at the pleasure that sang through me with his every thrust. It didn’t stop. His teeth skimmed my nipple and I cried out, caught between pain and ecstasy. He pumped into me, wringing more from me than I’d known I was capable of. I bit down on the pillow, trying to smother my sounds when he timed touching my clit with his endless strokes.
“Come,” he whispered, before he kissed me and gave me no other option.
I clutched his shoulders, needing to hold on while he so thoroughly destroyed me. I kept right on holding him when he buried his face in my hair and let out a shout. He plowed into me one more time, prolonging the moment until we were both sweaty and gasping.
No beginning. No end.
Finally, he lifted his head and pushed the tangle of hair out of my face. He kissed me so softly that my heart ached as much as the rest of me. “Okay?”
I smiled weakly. “So much better than okay.”
He smiled back before his gaze drifted to the monitor beside the bed. It was blissfully quiet. “I should probably check—” He broke off and frowned, his troubled expression barely visible in the silvery moonlight. “We forgot a condom. I mean, I didn’t have any, so—” He blew out a breath. “What was that about you saying earlier we didn’t need them? Did you go on the Pill?”
I’d hoped to have a few more minutes to bask in the afterglow. Not long, because my conscience wouldn’t let this go on any longer. I’d wanted to tell him earlier, but apparently, I’d needed to check out for a while. And sleep in a cloud-like, huge bed that dwarfed my own at home, with Asher’s muscled arm cuddling me close.
But the time had come. No more delays.
“No, I’m not on the Pill. I don’t need to be.” I faced him squarely. “I’m pregnant.”
Fifteen<
br />
In times of crisis, some people claim to see their lives flash before their eyes. You know, right before a bullet rips into them, or an attacker swings out with a knife.
In my case, I saw the rest of my life flash before my eyes after Hannah spoke, not the past.
I saw late night feedings.
Changing endless diapers. Picking up one baby, slapping on some Pampers, then passing it to my grandmother as I moved to the next one in the assembly line.
Singing “Baby Shark” until my eardrums exploded.
Balancing one baby per hip while I dealt with colleagues and scheduled meetings and tried to maintain a shred of sanity.
And sex? Sex would not be a factor in my life ever again, obviously. There would be no time for such frivolity. Not to mention it had landed me in this situation.
“Asher?”
I rolled out of bed and went straight into the bathroom. Where I stared at myself in the mirror and wondered if I was too old to run away from home.
Hannah did not follow. I didn’t blame her.
You’re being an asshole. She’s dealing with this too, you know.
I still couldn’t believe it. I was sure I’d wake up in bed alone any minute. Hannah wouldn’t even be there, because she would’ve refused to spend the night. We needed to think about what was best for Lily.
For this new baby.
A new baby.
Good Christ. I hadn’t even gotten a handle on parenting the last one.
I splashed ice cold water on my face and took care of business, then eyed the bathroom window and debated if I could fit through it. Probably not. Besides, I’d have to face this eventually.
That was what I did. Dealt with things straight on. Without even an ounce of immaturity.