Guarding Light

by Mckoy, Cate

  When he frowned, started to speak, she spoke over him. "So, Jack, this time with you compares in the top three. I mean, at least, this time you didn't make me come and then immediately afterward tell me you are going to be making some other girl come from now on. As comparing to the rape, at least, I am not bleeding to death and don't need major surgery." She gave him a malicious smirk, putting two thumbs up. "And hey, I am conscious, there's a plus."

  Jack's face was made of stone. The muscles in his jaw worked furiously as he tried to contain his hurt and anger. But her dismissing him with one final smirk was his undoing. As she went to walk around him yet again he grabbed her by the arm, swinging her violently towards him and then propelling her against the wall, pushing his body against hers as she started to struggle. Putting her chin in a vice-like grip with one hand and her wrists in the other against the wall above her head, he bit out between clench teeth. "You bitch! How dare you compare what went on in that bedroom to your rape."

  "You asked." She threw back. She tried to turn her face away from those sparking green eyes but the hold on her chin was like iron. "If you don't want to know don't ask."

  "I have never taken a woman in anger, against her will or even when her judgment has been impaired." His anger was rising instead of abating. How could she think so poorly of him and allow him to touch her?

  She gave another one of those smirks he was fast coming to despise, as though he were not the sharpest tool in the shed. "You're not supposed to chief. Want a medal?" She pulled on her wrists in his tight grip. "And for the record Einstein, this isn't willing. I am not willing to be this close to you, have your body against mine. I am NOT willing."

  And like magic Catlyn was instantly released. Jack had heard the hysteria in her voice she was trying to hide. And she would have been successful, if he hadn't felt the wild beating of her heart, which rivaled his own, or the deep tremors that racked her body from head to toe. Her body was reacting violently to the force he used against it.

  "Oh, my God, I am so sorry Catlyn." Force was something he never ever wanted to use with Catlyn. He cared too much for her, never wanted to remind her of that day. "I know it doesn't mean much coming from me now, but, you have to know I would never hurt you Catlyn."

  After catching her breath Catlyn came away from the wall and stood toe to toe with Jack. "I know no such thing."

  Jack was confused. She knew him. She had to know he would never physically hurt her. "Come on, Catlyn. You know I'd never hurt you. Do anything for you."

  She gave him a sad look, shook her head and went towards the door. This time he stopped her, not with a touch, but, by blocking her way with his body. "Tell me you know I'd never hurt you physically."

  Tears flooded her eyes and she whispered. "I don't trust you Jack. I've never had a partner I didn't trust whole-heartedly."

  He was shocked and then his anger returned. "You don't trust me?" He pointed to the bedroom. "The me who ate you out and gave you pleasure in that room? Is that the me you don't trust? Or is it the me you kissed and caressed and threaten to shoot if I didn't continue making love to you? Is that the me you don't trust Catlyn?"

  Visibly shaken, she wiped at tears that began to fall. "No, none of those, it's the you who set me up for a rape and then lied to protect the person who almost killed me after he took the one thing that was all mine to give freely to the man I love."

  Jack closed his eyes on the almost debilitating anguish that rushed through him. Is that what she thought? Had been thinking all these years? It couldn't be! He snapped his eyes open. Her tears ran freely now and there was sadness about her as well as wariness. She was wary of him? The realization boggled his mind. "Catlyn, you can't have been thinking this all these years?"

  "I can and I have." She said with more conviction than Jack had ever heard in someone proclaiming their innocence.

  "Catlyn, I know what J.T. did to you when you were a little girl must have scarred you, and I will always hate myself for not knowing about it and stopping it sooner, but you have to realize your judgment was way off that day."

  "My judgment was fine. J.T. Dark raped me and left me for dead at that school twenty-five years ago." She said the words as though she had said them a thousand times.

  "Catlyn, that's just not possible." Jack was just as sure. "And, if this is how you really feel, why let me near you, touch you?"

  A worried frown appeared between her brow. Her confusion was palatable. "I don't know why my body responds to you. It always has. No other man has wrought any kind of response. Yet, with you, my body has a mind of its own. It wants your touch."

  Her confusion was almost comical. If not for the fact that she was referring to his lovemaking he would have been rolling on the floor. At least he didn't totally turn her off, which would be very bad for Jack because just a look from her had him wanting to beg for a kiss.

  "Well, maybe your body knows something you don't." He told her.

  "All it tells me is that I have an adverse reaction to being touched by any man other than you. It could be because you were the first man who touched me in a positive way or because you were the first person I ever lov-"Abruptly, she stopped, mortified at what she almost revealed.

  Jack's eyes widen in pleasant surprise. "The first person you ever loved?"

  Catlyn stiffened her shoulders. "So, what of it? I was a stupid little girl who was crushing on her hero. Don't worry, I got over it."

  Jack smiled. "Catlyn there were many things you were called and could have been called when you were that little girl, but, lady, stupid was not one of them. And just when did you get over your love for your hero?"

  Her answer was swift and deadly. "The very second the hero set me up for rape."

  "Jesus Christ, stop saying that. I did NOT set you up for rape." Jack was back to talking through a clenched jaw. "I was trying to come to terms with wanting a girl who was too young for me, from a different race and not giving a damn, wanting to just take a chance."

  Catlyn shrugged. "Well, we know you didn't take that chance. You decided to hurt me instead."

  He grabbed her by the upper arms and shook her. "God damn it! Stop saying that! I would never do anything to hurt you like that. Catlyn you were mistaken about who attacked you. J.T. was having dinner with me and Sara when you were being raped. He insisted on treating us to celebrate my finally asking Sara out officially. I didn't want to. I had avoided him since I told him to stay away from you or answer to me. But, Catlyn, honey, J.T. was there with me and Sara. So he couldn't have been raping you."

  Catlyn spoke at the same time, trying to override his voice. "You're a liar. We both can't be right. So that makes you the liar. 'Cause I know who raped me. It was J.T. Dark."

  He released her so suddenly Catlyn stumbled back, catching herself at the last second. "Why'd you do-?" Catlyn stopped speaking as she took in Jack's look. He was staring at her but not seeing her. His eyes were wide as he focused on something in the distant, something in his mind.

  Catlyn looked around the room to see what could have caused such an instant change in him. "What? What is it?"

  He was focused internally not really seeing her. But then he became alert and his focus on her was intense. "Ok, what? You have cop-face?"

  At that, one side of his mouth titled upward in a half smile. "I have what?"

  "You know cop-face. Your Eureka moment. The Sherlock Holmes and Columbo look, right before they reveal it was Ms. Scarlet in the ballroom with the candlestick."

  Jack laughed. "Ok. I have to remember that. I like it, 'cop-face'."

  "Let me guess, you have the killer's name and address, right? I don't have to hurt my feet waitressing."

  Still smiling, Jack shook his head. "Afraid not, Kitten. You are going to have to wait those tables."

  "That is exactly what you are supposed to be doing." They both turned toward the door to see Jose holstering his weapon.

  "What are you doing here Sanchez?" Jack asked.

  "No,
that is my question to the both of you. Catlyn was due at the job over five minutes ago. And seeing as it's only a two minute ride and she is anal about punctuality, you can see why it is I grew anxious and then worried when my partner, who looks very much like our killer's victims, didn't show for work."

  "Sorry Sanchez. We're coming." Catlyn apologized for them both.

  In a voice only she could hear, Jack said in an aside. "You're the only one who was coming in this house. I still need to." On pure reflex she kicked him in the shin.

  "Ouch!" Jack hopped on one leg as he held the other. But he still wore a self-satisfied smile.

  Chapter 7

  Catlyn didn't understand Jack's swift change in demeanor. One second they had been arguing, the next he went comatose and now he was playful? What gives?

  The trio walked out together. The two men waited until Catlyn had locked her door. Jack led her to a dark Ford sedan. "What happened to the U-Haul?"

  As he held the door open for her he answered, "I had detective Anderson return it, bring this car. I arranged with Tasha to have me billed for the usage of the truck and the repair of the windshield."

  Jack followed Jose to the waterfront but they parted ways in the parking lot. Jack parked as far away from BJ's Barbecue as he could get.

  "Why so far away?"

  He turned to her in his seat. "So, I can walk my 'new love interest' along the pier hand in hand for all to see."

  "Smart." Catlyn complimented.

  "I aim to please." Jack got out and opened the door for Catlyn.

  They walked leisurely along the waterfront, taking in the sights and sounds. She was late for her cover job but her real job was to be seen on the waterfront with a white man. Catlyn was looking at all the people trying to memorize every detail. She knew Jack was doing the same. She felt a slight tug on the hand he was holding. Jack pulled her off the sidewalk towards a small group of people.

  They were vendors of sort. Some had flowers for sale, some balloons, bottles of water, snacks and sodas. Jack looked over each vendor's wares before going to a black man in army fatigues. He had a makeshift cart made from an actual shopping cart. He had a plank of wood over the cart acting as a table. Laid out on the table were hand-made American flags, crafted from popsicle sticks and ribbon material. There was a yellow ribbon tied directly beneath the flag with Baby's Breath inserted in between the ribbon's knot. On a cardboard sign reading: 'Iraqi Freedom Vet' was a picture of the vendor standing next to a military helicopter. Underneath was written: 'Will work for food'.

  "How much?" Jack asked the vendor.

  The man smiled big, showing enormous teeth. "A dollar, sir."

  Jack took out his wallet, handed the vendor a five. "Keep the change." He said as he picked out a flag. The vendor profusely thanked Jack.

  Catlyn smiled at the vendor. He nodded back and gave her a salute. Jack took her hand and went to the next vendor, purchased a rose. He pulled her further away from the sidewalk and vendors to a little grassy area under a tree. Leaning against the tree he handed her the rose, "A beautiful flower for an even more beautiful woman."

  Catlyn looked into his eyes. They were a bright green, catching the sun. His smile was filled with admiration. Accepting the rose, her heart beat faster, his eyes darkened. He look like he did when he was about to kiss her. Very slowly he lowered his mouth to hers. A centimeter away he paused, waiting.

  She raised her mouth to meet his kiss, closing her eyes so that she could experience his special kind of heaven to the fullest. When he stopped, she opened her eyes confused. Deep brown clashed with bright green. He held his mouth directly over hers without touching. "What is it?" She whispered as she tried to close the gap between their lips. Jack pulled back but kept their mouths close.

  Catlyn pulled back all the way. Jack placed his hands on her hips to keep her from moving back. "What is it, Jack?"

  He pulled her against his chest, aligning their bodies from chest to knee. She felt his semi-arousal against her stomach. "I need your words." He whispered as he nuzzled her neck.

  Catlyn went hot all over and the soft touch of his lips on her neck caused shivers to run up and down her spine. She then knew Jack would not ever take without permission. Gripping the rose, wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned up to meet his mouth, giving him what he needed to proceed. "Yes, Jack. Please, yes."

  He moaned, pulling her tightly against him, lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her breathless. After a moment of a very heated exchanged, Jack slowly released her mouth. He looked deeply into her eyes and said, "Sweetheart, I need you to think about a couple of things for me."

  Catlyn took in his serious glittering eyes. "What?"

  "Catlyn, my body responds to you not only because you're a beautiful sexy woman." Catlyn tried to pull out of his arms. "No, honey, don't. I need you to really hear me and think about the things I am going to tell you."

  Catlyn relaxed back against him, responding to the tone of his voice. "Ok, Jack."

  "Catlyn, do you trust your instincts?"

  "Well, yes, I do. They have gotten me out of some pretty close calls. Why?" She was curious now where he was going with all this.

  "Well, instincts are an integral part of your natural defenses."

  Still not sure what he was trying to say, Catlyn conceded his point. "Ok, I will give you that. I agree."

  "Instinctively your body responds to me and no one else's. Those are your words." He raised an eyebrow in question. When she gave a confirming nod he continued. "Well that is because your body knows there is no threat from me. Your body knows because deep down you know I could never be a threat to you. I could never ever do anything to hurt you. We respond to each other not just because we like the way the other is put together, although I must say you are put together rather nicely, but because we know and care for one another."

  He finished by kissing her tenderly, whispering against her lips, "Baby, I really need you to think about this and then know it, know it beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would never hurt you." He licked at her lips before blazing a trail of wet kisses to her ear then licking her lobe before whispering hotly in her ear. "Please, Kitten, I need that so much." He then took her mouth, thrusting his tongue deep, twirling his around hers.

  Breathless and seeking air they drew apart. Catlyn couldn't catch her breath as she stared into the heated green of his eyes. "O-okay, Jack. I will think about it."

  He smiled, and taking her hand again as he led them back to the sidewalk. A pleasant silence was with them as they walked hand in hand to the front steps of BJ's Barbecue.

  "Well, here you are." Jack looked at his watch. "And, only twenty minutes late."

  Catlyn laughed. "Yeah I am sure my boss will take that view." She gave him a peck on the cheek and started up the steps. Remembering, Catlyn turned on the steps to find Jack still watching her.

  "Jack, you said there were a couple of things you wanted me to think about. What was the other thing?"

  He gave her a hard stare, impressive chest stuck out, his 6-3 muscular frame pulsing with, what could only be called, his military mode. Catlyn was looking at the soldier and cop all rolled into one. "Also think about the fact, that no one else walking this earth has ever, nearly broken my nose, bust me in the balls, called me a liar, questioned my honor and has gotten away with it all."

  Jack watched the surprise go through Catlyn's body. Good. She needed to know he was serious. She titled her head, studying him for a few seconds before nodding, turned, went up the steps and disappeared through the door.

  Jack took out his cell phone and dialed 9 on the keypad. It rang once and was answered with a terse, 'yes'. As he walked back to the car Jack spoke. "It's me. I am calling in a favor. I need anything and everything you have on a J.T. Dark. That's Jon Taylor Dark; D-O-B is 5-29-70, lived in Newburgh, NY most of his life, spent summers in London, England. I want it all. I want it A.S.A.P."

  ****

  After smoothing things over with her n
ew 'boss' regarding her lateness by telling him her car had broken down and she had to call a friend to bring her to work, Catlyn's shift was relatively uneventful. She met 3 other waitresses. Gina was a typical Italian princess that was slumming in working class circles because her dad said she had to. Marg was a college student in the pre-med program at the Mount as Mount Saint Mary's College was referred. Marg studied her text books between orders. And Isabella was a Latina, single mom trying to raise her son in the busted economy. All were locals and genuinely friendly.