Timid

by Devney Perry

  He grinned. “Both it is.”

  “No, I meant either.”

  “Too late. You agreed. We’ll go up to Kalispell on Tuesday and do something nice.”

  “I could cook,” I offered.

  “You can cook on Wednesday.”

  I smiled and nodded. “You got it.”

  With a quick brush of his lips on mine, he gave me a soft, sweet kiss, then walked to the door. “Lock up after me.”

  “I will.” I nodded and closed the door behind him. When the deadbolt clicked, his boots thudded down the stairs.

  I pressed my fingers to my lips as I watched through the window next to the door. He looked back over his shoulder twice this time as he crossed the yard. And somehow, he knew I was watching because he blew me a kiss.

  Air kisses. Sweet kisses. Soft kisses. Hard kisses. Wet kisses.

  Tonight, I’d learned it all.

  And I couldn’t wait to see what he’d teach me next.

  The morning of my date with Willa, I stopped by the bar to check on Thea. It was nice to have some time off now that she was back from New York, but it was hard to enjoy when she looked so miserable.

  As I came down the hallway from the back door, I found her in her office. Her shoulders were hunched over a list. Her eyes were rimmed with red as she sniffled. She’d heard me open the door and was trying to hide her tears.

  “Hey,” I said as I leaned on the office door.

  “Hey. I didn’t think you’d be in this morning.” She swiped her cheek with the back of her hand, then went about shuffling a stack of papers. “Thanks for taking care of everything while I was gone. Looks like things went well. I’ll get all of the cleaning supplies from your list before we open today. Anything else you need?”

  “No, that should do for now.” I stepped into the office and went right around to her side of the desk, perching myself on the edge. I held out a hand, waiting for her to place her palm in mine. The moment she did, the tears came back.

  “Sorry.” She swiped at them with her free hand, but they were falling too fast.

  “Don’t be sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

  She shook her head, pulling herself together. That was one thing about Thea: if she did cry, it never lasted long. “We’ll be fine. It’s not like we didn’t know this would happen. Logan lives in New York. We live here. It’s for the best to end things now before it gets even harder.”

  After their trip to New York, Thea and Logan had decided to end the relationship they’d been testing ever since he’d found out about Charlie earlier in the summer. His job as a prominent lawyer and philanthropist for his family dictated he live in New York.

  But with Thea’s history there and her desire to raise Charlie in a place where she’d flourish, they needed to be here in Lark Cove.

  So Logan and Thea had sacrificed their happiness together, knowing it was best for their daughter.

  It had been a huge relief when Thea had called to say they were back. A part of me, a big part, had expected her to tell me they were staying in New York. I’d expected to be left behind.

  But they came back, and while I was so damn happy, they were sad. After the relief subsided, the guilt settled in because my happiness was at the expense of their misery.

  It wasn’t right.

  “It’s no secret I wasn’t happy that Logan showed up.”

  She scoffed. “Really? I hadn’t picked up on that.”

  I grinned, glad she wasn’t too upset to still tease me. “But I’ll give the guy credit. He did the right thing by not forcing you to move to New York.”

  “I almost did,” she whispered. “It was so tempting. But being there was . . . hard. Harder than I thought it would be. And it just wasn’t the right place for Charlie.”

  “I missed you guys when you were gone,” I told her. “Things weren’t the same without you around.”

  That was an understatement, but I didn’t want Thea to feel bad for leaving. She didn’t need to know how lost I’d felt the day they’d left for New York, wondering if they’d come back. She didn’t need to know how scared I was that I’d lose yet another family.

  “We missed you too.”

  “I know I acted like an ass when Logan showed up. I was pissed things were changing because of him. But I should have been more supportive. I guess it took you guys leaving and the scare that you might not come back to realize I was just worried about myself. I felt like my family was slipping away and I didn’t handle it well. I’m sorry.”

  She squeezed my hand. “It’s okay.”

  Maybe it was them leaving that had opened my eyes to what I’d been missing in my life, but if Thea wanted to be with Logan, I wouldn’t stand in the way. He wasn’t the enemy I’d made him out to be.

  “I’m glad you’re home,” I told her. “But if you do decide to move, know that I’ll be here for you. I just want you and Charlie to be happy. Hell, I’d even come out and visit.”

  Thea pulled her hand from mine and stood from the chair. Then she threw her arms around my shoulders. “Thank you. But we’re not going anywhere.”

  I hugged her back. “Good.”

  We stayed like that for a few moments until she patted my back and sat back down. “I’d better get back to work.”

  “Yeah. And I’d better get going. I’m heading over to the camp to hang with Charlie for a while.”

  I’d seen them briefly the day after they’d come home, but we hadn’t really had much time together. I’d missed Charlie too and was just as worried about her as I was Thea, maybe more. Leaving Logan had been hard on her little heart. I hoped some time to just play and laugh and do the things she loved most would make her smile.

  “She’ll love that. She really missed you and Hazel while we were gone. I’m sure she’d like to spend some time with you.”

  “Call me if you need anything,” I said as I walked out of the office.

  “I will.” She waved, then dove back into the paperwork stacked on her desk. I’d taken care of all the logistics for the bar while she’d been gone, but I’d left her the bills to pay and supplies to order. Thea loved mixing drinks, but she had this weird thing where she got off on paperwork.

  Which was fine by me. I hated that shit.

  From the bar, I went straight to the camp and into the main lodge. Willa was nowhere to be found. Actually, the entire place was quiet—the campers must be out on an adventure.

  I lucked out and found Charlie in the first place I looked: the kitchen.

  She was sitting on the table, eating a bowl of trail mix. The faded ball cap I’d given her was on her head. Her knees were dirty and she was swinging her legs back and forth. Her shoulders were turned down and her expression heavy.

  It broke my heart to see her sad. Like Thea, she was missing Logan.

  “Hey, Chuck.”

  Her head whipped up from her bowl, sending her long, brown hair flying to the side. “Uncle Jackson!”

  The smile on her beautiful face made my world a brighter place. I rushed for her at the same time she set her bowl aside and hopped off the table, flying across the tiled floor into my arms.

  I needed that hug just as much as she did.

  I held her tight, hoping to chase some of her sadness away. Over her tiny shoulder, I saw Hazel in the back corner of the kitchen. Willa snuck in from her office door at the back.

  I winked at them both, then gave Charlie all of my attention. “Feel like hanging out in your fort for a while?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded and stepped out of my embrace. Then she went back for her bowl of snacks, tucking it under her arm and leading me out of the kitchen. “Let’s go.”

  I waved to Willa and Hazel, then followed Charlie outside, where we spent the morning exploring the woods. As we collected cool rocks and sticks and brought them into the fort she’d made beneath two evergreens, Charlie told me about her trip to New York. She’d met Logan’s family, her family, and explored the city.

  I did my best to lift
her dampened spirits. Because she never failed to brighten mine.

  Parked in the gravel lot at the camp later that evening, I popped a piece of gum in my mouth as I waited for Willa to take her on our first date. I was rattling with nerves. My thumb was drumming on the steering wheel in a fast beat and I was sweating even though the AC was cranked.

  She hadn’t kissed anyone before me. Had she ever dated? I didn’t want to wreck this for her like I’d ruined her first kiss. I didn’t want to wreck any of her firsts, including her first time with a man if she chose that man to be me.

  Maybe if I’d had more experience taking a woman to a nice restaurant, I wouldn’t be so worked up. Maybe the pressure wouldn’t feel so overwhelming. But since I didn’t date often, or ever, this was likely to be the blind leading the blind.

  I kept drumming as a group of kids came out of the lodge, and right behind them was Willa. She waved good-bye to a counselor and then started up the trail to the parking lot.

  My thumb stopped.

  She’d changed since I’d been here earlier. Instead of the simple green dress and cream cardigan she’d been in this morning, she was wearing a—what did women call them?—little black dress.

  My pulse spiked as I took her in. Her dress was elegant and sleeveless. It showed just enough skin to be sexy. The way it hugged her hips and molded to her perky breasts showed off subtle curves. The skirt rode down her toned legs nearly to her knees. It wasn’t short, but with its tight fit, it would ride up her thighs as she climbed in my truck.

  And if the dress weren’t enough to get my blood pumping, her hair would have done the trick. She’d pinned the top back from her face but left long waves to cascade down her back.

  I liked knowing that if I made her blush tonight, she wouldn’t be able to hide it from me in her hair. I also liked knowing that when I kissed her tonight, the pink lipstick she was wearing would smudge.

  She was almost to the truck so I made a quick adjustment to my dick and swallowed my gum. Then I took a deep breath and whispered, “Don’t fuck this up.”

  For some reason, Willa had picked me. She wanted me for her first kiss and her first date. I didn’t want to be a disappointment tonight.

  That would come later.

  One day, Willa would realize I wasn’t anything special and I couldn’t give her what she needed. I wasn’t a marriage-and-babies kind of guy, but until then, I’d do my best to make this good for her.

  Starting with a first date.

  As she approached the truck, I leaned over the center console for the door handle. Shit. I should have gotten out. But Willa didn’t seem to care. She just smiled and waved. “Hi.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  She blushed and started to step up, but her dress was too tight.

  “I can help.” I unbuckled my seat belt, but she stopped me with a hand.

  “I’ve got it.” Smiling, she planted a hand on the door and the other in the seat, then hopped. Her hair bounced as she propelled herself into the seat, laughing as she landed. “Whoopsie.” One of her heels had slipped off in the process. She giggled again as she toed it back on and shut the door.

  And I watched it all with a slack jaw. Did she have any idea how sexy that was? She was graceful and adorably clumsy all at the same time.

  When she looked my way, I came unstuck, leaning over the console to kiss her cheek. “You’re beautiful.”

  It was worth repeating.

  “Thanks.” Her eyes ran up and down my torso. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

  I grinned and leaned back in my seat, rebuckling and putting the truck in reverse. I wasn’t dressed as fancy as she was, but I’d found a darker pair of jeans without frayed hems and a solid-gray button-up shirt. I’d even tucked it in.

  “I like your truck,” Willa said as we pulled onto the highway. “It’s very clean. Unlike my car, which is a disaster zone.”

  “I’ll clean it for you. I take care of Hazel’s.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

  I reached over and lifted her hand from her lap. “I’d like to. Clean vehicles are kind of my thing.”

  “Then have at it. I hate cleaning my car.” She flattened her hand into mine, pressing our palms together.

  She didn’t thread our fingers together. Instead, she let me hold her hand entirely. I could close mine all the way around hers, holding it tight, and if she wanted to slip free, I had to let her go first.

  “How was the rest of your day?” she asked.

  “Good. Productive. Cleaned the truck. Cleaned my boat. It was nice to get away from the bar for a change.”

  “I bet. Charlie was sure happy to see you this morning.”

  “I was happy to see her too. She’ll be back in school soon. I won’t get to see her as much.”

  Willa sighed. “Yeah. I always get lonely when school starts in September and the camp closes for the winter.”

  “You can come and keep me company. I get lonely at the bar too.”

  She looked over and nodded. “I’d like that.”

  Lark Cove quieted down substantially in the fall and winter. The bar got a rush of activity during hunting season and we’d see the occasional skier. But it was a different town when the weather turned cold.

  “What do you do when there isn’t camp?” I asked.

  “Go crazy.” She giggled. “It’s usually busy for a couple of weeks after the last set of campers leave. We have to winterize the buildings and I make sure that all the bills are paid. But after that, I don’t have a lot to do. I go in occasionally to check on things and do any office work, but it only takes five or six hours at most. I’ve been thinking about getting another job.”

  “Yeah? Like where?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I can’t get a year-round job because I need my summers free, so that limits my options. I saw the gas station was looking for a part-time cashier.”

  “No.” Fuck no. “You can’t work at the gas station.” The idea of her in a gas station, alone in the dead of night while working the graveyard shift, gave me anxiety pains.

  “Huh?” Her face whipped to mine. “Why not?”

  “It’s not safe. You’d be a sitting duck for any random creep passing through town.”

  “Oh,” she muttered. “Okay. No on the gas station.”

  I eyed her, waiting for more, but there was nothing. She just looked out the window, watching as we rolled down the highway.

  “That’s it?”

  Her forehead furrowed. “That’s it, what?”

  “You’re not going to bust my balls for telling you where not to work? Or call me a dick for ordering you around?” Thea or Hazel would have told me to fuck off if I’d told them they couldn’t work somewhere.

  But Willa just smiled. “I can’t get mad at you for wanting me to be safe. If you had another reason, then maybe I would disagree. But being concerned for my well-being is, well . . . sweet.”

  Sweet? Well, shit. Was this woman for real?

  Ever since Saturday night, something had shifted between us. She’d dropped her hand and wasn’t keeping me at arm’s length.

  Instead, she’d just pulled me straight into her world.

  On Sunday, the morning after she’d told me about our real first kiss, I’d gone to the camp with a double vanilla chai latte—her favorite, according to the owner of the coffee hut. Since I’d been the one to keep her up late, I figured she’d need an extra dose of sugar and caffeine.

  What I hadn’t realized was that she’d be thriving on organized chaos. The parking lot had been full of parents collecting their happy kids. Willa had been running around like crazy when I’d gotten there, and I’d half expected her to shoo me away.

  But instead, she’d thanked me for her coffee with a kiss and ordered me to follow her and “talk as we walk.”

  So as she said good-bye to campers and coordinated the clean out of the bunkhouses in preparation for the next batch of kids, I’d been right there by he
r side. Whenever she took a sip of her coffee, she smiled up at me. Whenever she ran into a counselor, she introduced me without delay.

  The smile on her face never faltered.

  Maybe the campers would forget that smile, but I never would.

  Sunday night, after she’d made sure the new group of kids were settled at the camp, she came to the bar for a late dinner. By then, the exhaustion had finally settled in, so I’d gotten her a Coke and made her a pizza. After she’d eaten, I’d sent her home early to get some sleep.

  Yesterday had been more of the same. Coffee. Work. Pizza. And a kiss at the bar before I sent her on her way before dark.

  And now I was finally getting my date. It was just her and me, off to do something together.

  “How is Thea doing?” Willa asked.

  “Okay. Sad, like Charlie. I think she’s glad to be home, but they both miss Logan.”

  “I hope they can work it out. Do you think Thea would ever move to the city?”

  I shrugged. “I doubt it. Neither of us have a ton of fond memories from that place.” Though as hard as it would be to see them go, I’d rather have Thea happy in the city with Logan than brokenhearted in Montana.

  Willa hummed but didn’t push for more.

  I could have left it at that, but for once, I felt the need to explain. I wanted to offer Willa something more than a blanket, closed-off statement. “Did you know that’s where we met? Me and Thea and Hazel?”

  She shook her head. “No. I guess I’ve never heard the story of how you all found one another.”

  Hardly anyone had. Thea and I didn’t share a lot about the past with patrons at the bar, just like we didn’t gossip about people around town. We were probably seen as a bit of a mystery, and honestly, we liked it that way.

  But for Willa, I’d spill it all. I felt safe telling her anything in the world. I hadn’t a clue why, but I was trusting my gut.

  “Do you want to know?”

  She smiled, pressing her palm deeper into mine. “Only if you want to share.”

  I took a deep breath, kept my eyes on the road, and started at the beginning.

  “My mom was shit. Or is. I don’t know. I haven’t seen her in over twenty years. When I was nine, she packed up our stuff, shoved it in our car and drove us from Pennsylvania to New York. Then she dropped me off at my aunt’s place and I never saw her again.”