Timid

by Devney Perry

“Get the kid. Get his shit. And get the fuck out of Montana.”

  She grinned, knowing she’d won. Without a word, Mom went back inside the motel room, closing the door at her back.

  “Oh, Jackson.” Willa came to my side. “I cannot believe this is happening.”

  My arm went around her shoulders, holding on to her. “Me neither.”

  I’d come down to the motel for closure and hadn’t gotten any. Instead, I’d gotten a twelve-year-old kid brother who would be living with me indefinitely.

  “I don’t know what else to do,” I whispered. “If I don’t take him, then—”

  “You have to take him.” Willa’s entire frame shook with fury. “You need to get him away from her. She’s toxic.”

  “What am I going to do?”

  I didn’t know anything about raising a kid. I worked at a bar. Who was going to watch him when I was working until three in the morning? Who was going to help him with his math homework? Who was going to make sure he was eating the right shit from the food pyramid?

  For fuck’s sake, I’d slept on a pool table last night. I wasn’t equipped to be responsible for another person. It was one of the reasons I didn’t want kids of my own. I wasn’t that guy.

  “We’ll figure it out,” Willa reassured me.

  “Yeah,” I muttered. I didn’t have a choice. I wouldn’t let a kid, let alone my brother, go through the same childhood hell I’d gone through.

  The motel door opened again and I let Willa go.

  Ryder’s face had paled and his eyes were wide as he walked out the door with a backpack slung over one shoulder.

  Mom was right behind him, rolling out a cheap black suitcase.

  Ryder’s eyes were full of despair as he stood on the sidewalk. The poor kid. There was no doubt that Mom had just dropped the bomb on him.

  “Sounds like you’ll be staying with me for a while.” I clapped him on the shoulder. “That cool with you?”

  He shrugged and looked at his tennis shoes. He had big feet and was probably going to be tall after he grew into them.

  “Willa? Would you help Ryder get his things loaded into the truck?”

  “Sure.” She practically yanked the suitcase handle out of my mother’s hand. Then with a parting glare, she walked to the truck.

  Ryder waited a beat, then followed her. He didn’t even turn to say good-bye to Mom. He didn’t give her a word or a look. And he didn’t seem surprised, just . . . disappointed.

  How many times had she left him before? I remembered my years with her being full of babysitters and neighbors. Maybe our time with her wasn’t all that much different. I bet she’d promised him a fun trip to meet his brother, just like she’d promised me a fun trip to meet my aunt.

  Mom didn’t say anything as Ryder walked away, certainly not a promise to return. Instead of watching her kid leave, her eyes were glued to my truck and a greedy smirk spread across her mouth.

  She was going to ask me for money. Guaranteed.

  “Get out of town.” I shuffled closer, growling down at her. “Now.”

  “I need money.”

  This bitch was so predictable.

  I hated the idea of giving her a damn cent, but if it got her out of Lark Cove and away from me and Ryder, I didn’t care.

  I ripped my wallet out of my back pocket and pulled out the stack of cash I’d shoved in there. It was ten days’ worth of tips—about five hundred bucks. I’d planned on running it up to the bank in Kalispell this week.

  Instead I shoved it into her chest. “I never want to see your face again.”

  She took the money and stuffed it in her jeans pocket. “I need more money if you don’t want me coming back.”

  I stepped even closer, sending her back on her heels. “That’s all you’re ever going to get. You don’t see me again. You don’t see him again. You’re dead to us. Got it? If I see your face again, you won’t like what happens next. I got no love for you, lady. But I got a lot of rage.”

  The threat erased some of her arrogance. She stepped back farther, looking at me once more before turning into the motel room and slamming the door.

  My shoulders collapsed as I breathed. I gave myself until the count of five, then went to the truck and climbed into the driver’s seat. Willa was sitting shotgun, her face etched with worry.

  I reached over the console and took her hand as I glanced in the back. Ryder was looking out his window, away from the motel and Mom’s car.

  “You got everything?” I asked him.

  He shrugged. “I guess.”

  Was this really happening? Two hours ago, it was just Willa and me curled together in her bed. Two hours ago, I was just a bartender lucky to have a girlfriend who’d forgiven him after he’d acted like a dick.

  Now I was some sort of pseudo-parent to a kid I’d met less than fifteen minutes ago.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked Ryder.

  He shrugged again.

  “I’m hungry,” Willa said.

  “You’re always hungry. Ryder, do you want to see Willa stuff an entire pizza in her mouth? She can inhale one in about three minutes.”

  She smiled, going along with my attempt to lighten the mood. “More like ten.”

  Ryder didn’t laugh or respond. He just hung his head, turning even further into the window. One of his hands slid up to wipe his nose.

  I opened my mouth to say something else but closed it instead. There was nothing to say. So I looked ahead, glancing one last time at my mother’s motel room door. Then I fired up the truck and reversed out of the lot.

  Before I even hit the highway, Willa was texting on her phone. She was calling in reinforcements. Thea was already at the bar. Hazel would likely be there soon. So I focused on the road, driving us the few blocks down to the bar where I’d find help.

  Where my real family would be waiting.

  “Missed you,” Jackson whispered as he wrapped me up in his arms. The stubble on his jaw tickled the skin on my neck as he kissed my bare shoulder.

  “I missed you too.”

  It had been a week since Jackson had confronted his mother and discovered his little brother. And in that time, we hadn’t spent a single night together. Instead, Jackson’s focus had been exactly where it should have been.

  On Ryder.

  When we arrived at the bar after leaving Melissa Page behind—hopefully for good—Thea was waiting by the door to welcome us. Hazel came in two minutes later. And while I sat with Ryder and discussed pizza toppings, Jackson pulled them into the back and explained the situation.

  From that moment on, life became a flurry of activity as we all tried to get Ryder settled into his life here. Hazel took it upon herself to get his room set up in Jackson’s house. Thea was in charge of getting Ryder clothes that fit and decent shoes. I made sure Ryder was enrolled in school and had all the necessary supplies.

  So while the three of us were taking care of logistics, Jackson was with Ryder. Around the clock. They toured town. They ate meals together. They spent evenings on Jackson’s living room couch watching movies.

  And since I’d wanted them to have a chance to bond, I’d stepped back. I saw them both during the day as I came and went from his house, but at night, I stayed home alone.

  We both knew it was the right call. Ryder had needed time in his new home without Jackson’s girlfriend around. But now Ryder was comfortable in their house, and on Monday, he was starting school.

  He was settled.

  So last night, Jackson had insisted I start spending the night. For the first time in a week, we were waking up together. For the first time ever, it was in his bed, not mine.

  “I like your bed,” I told him.

  “I like you in my bed.”

  I wanted to ask him why he’d never wanted me to stay here before, but I didn’t want to touch on any subject that could make him uncomfortable, not on his special day.

  “Happy Birthday,” I whispered.

  He kissed my hair. “Thanks, babe.�
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  I loved that I was the first person to tell him. I’d told him at midnight, after we’d had sex and were cuddled in each other’s arms. We’d gone at it hard last night, both of us needing something hot and wild to ease our stresses. It had been a challenge to keep quiet, but Jackson had swallowed most of my cries with his mouth.

  He’d done the same this morning.

  “How about breakfast?”

  “You and your breakfasts.” He chuckled and his arms hugged me tighter. His smile tickled my shoulder. “I wouldn’t say no to your french toast.”

  “Perfect.” I’d brought over a huge haul of groceries yesterday and had an extra loaf of bread just in case that was his choice. “I hope Ryder likes french toast.”

  “I’m sure he will. That kid seems to eat just about anything. Makes me wonder how often he got regular meals.”

  I sighed. “I was thinking the exact same thing last night.”

  We’d gone out to dinner at Bob’s Diner for Jackson’s birthday and all ordered a double cheeseburger. Even I had trouble eating an entire one.

  Ryder had inhaled two.

  “I’ll give it to the kid.” Jackson sighed. “He’s taking this in stride.”

  I nodded. “He sure is.”

  Ryder had been closed off at first. As we all buzzed around him, frantically setting him up in his new life, he’d stood by and watched with few words. But after a couple of days, he’d begun to relax.

  As Hazel set up his room, he’d pitched in, moving furniture as she gave direction. He’d found a new friend in Charlie. Thea had taken them both shopping for school clothes and since Charlie preferred boy clothes to girl, they’d bought matching shirts.

  And with me, he’d become my right-hand man.

  When I went to the grocery store, he came along and pushed the cart. When I had to stop by the camp to ensure everything was okay, he came along too. Ryder had taken one look at my camp and fallen in love, begging me to sneak him into one of the camps next summer.

  After just a week, he was laughing and joking with Jackson and me like he’d known us his entire life. The only time he’d clam up was when we asked about his past.

  “He won’t talk about your mom.” I’d tried a couple of times to broach the subject, just to see how he was holding up. But Ryder had just frowned and gone quiet. Much like his older brother, he seemed to bottle things up.

  “Can you blame him?” Jackson asked.

  “No, but I worry he’s holding too much inside.” It had been like pulling teeth just to find out what school he’d gone to so I could call and get his records transferred. “Maybe he’ll talk to you.”

  “Maybe,” Jackson muttered.

  The sound of clanking pans came from the kitchen, interrupting our conversation. Though I had a feeling it had been over anyway.

  When we’d first started dating, Jackson had been so forthcoming about his past. Honestly, it had surprised me that he’d shared so much with me about his childhood on our first date.

  But ever since his mother had shown, he’d shut down.

  It wasn’t just that he was busy with Ryder either. There was something going on with him. The problem was, I didn’t have any specific examples to confront him about. He was still sweet and sexy and my Jackson. But there was something heavy surrounding him.

  When we were having a serious conversation, he’d end it with something short. Maybe. I’ll think about it. We’ll see. They all meant he was done talking, and I’d heard them more in the last week than ever before.

  “Ryder must be hungry,” Jackson said as the clanking in the kitchen continued. “It’s been over five hours since he ate so he’s probably on the verge of starvation.”

  I smiled. “Then I’d better get started on breakfast.”

  Jackson let me go and I slipped from his bed and into the en-suite bathroom.

  As I brushed my teeth, I studied the room. It was outdated, much like the rest of Jackson’s house. The laminate counters and vinyl floor were clean but had been well used. This home had been built in the seventies and was full of wood paneling in the bedrooms and living areas, making the entire place seem like a man cave.

  Still, I loved being here in Jackson’s space. This house had such potential to be a bright and happy home. The bathroom could be easily updated with lighter colors and newer finishes. The living areas just needed to be refreshed. And with new cabinets and countertops, the kitchen had the potential to be a dream.

  I finished with my teeth and went back to the bedroom, passing Jackson as he went to the bathroom. As I pulled on some pajama pants, a bra and one of his sweatshirts, I made a mental list of improvements for his room.

  It wouldn’t take much to create the perfect bedroom. The paneling had to go and a bigger closet would be ideal. Visions of me and Jackson waking up here, morning after morning, filled my head. I pictured my clothes in his closet and my books on his nightstand.

  I hoped I’d get the chance to update it one day.

  When another sound echoed from the kitchen, I gave up my interior design dreaming and walked out of the bedroom and down the short hall to find Ryder studying the stove.

  “Good morning,” I greeted as I tied up my hair.

  “Hey.” He smiled. “How do you turn this thing on?”

  “It’s a gas stove so you have to light the burners.”

  “Oh.” He searched the counter, probably looking for matches. “I was going to make some breakfast.”

  “How about I do the breakfast?” I went to the stove, taking over his position in front of a frying pan. “Do you want to be my assistant?”

  He nodded and we got to work. An hour later, Ryder had learned how to not only light the stove but also make french toast. And the three of us were devouring the biggest batch I’d made in my life.

  “Don’t eat that one.” I plucked a mangled piece of french toast from the bottom of the pile before Ryder could grab it.

  “Why?” Ryder asked, his mouth full of food.

  “It’s all woogidy. I’ll eat it.”

  Ryder stopped chewing. “Woogidy?”

  Jackson chuckled, taking another two pieces for his own plate. “Willa makes up words.”

  “Woogidy.” Ryder grinned. “I like it.”

  I shot a so there look at Jackson. “Thanks.”

  “So what do you want to do today for your birthday?” Ryder asked his brother.

  Jackson winked at me. “I had a request to go fishing before the lake freezes. Figured we could take the boat out today.”

  Ryder and I high-fived.

  “Cold?” Jackson asked.

  My teeth chattered. “I’m okay.”

  He frowned and stripped off his thick, canvas coat to drape over my shoulders. The body heat trapped in the flannel lining warmed me instantly.

  “What about you?” I asked. “You’ll freeze.”

  “I’m good.” He kissed the top of my brown stocking cap.

  We were in the middle of Flathead Lake on Jackson’s boat. The sun was shining down on the water. The air was cool and crisp. But the slight breeze wafting over the water had seeped through my jeans, sweater and brown puffer vest. I’d been fine in town, but as Jackson had sped his boat across the water, I’d turned into an icicle.

  “I should have worn my snow gear.” And I would have except I’d wanted to look cute on Jackson’s birthday and wear my new Wellington boots.

  “Yeah.” Jackson grinned. “Next time dress like Ryder.”

  I giggled and looked at Ryder sitting at the back of the boat. His fishing rod was gripped firmly in his gloved hands. He’d even brought along his backpack, full of whatever extra provisions he’d packed inside.

  After breakfast, Jackson had told him to get ready and wear warm clothes. Ryder had immediately gone to change, emerging from his room in the snow pants, winter coat and Sorel boots that Thea had bought him earlier in the week. He looked ready for the ski hill, not fishing.

  But at least he was warm.
/>   “Do you think we’ll catch anything?” I asked.

  Jackson shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “I hope we do, but even if we don’t, I’m glad I got to see your boat.”

  Jackson’s fishing boat was the nicest one I’d ever seen, larger than any waterskiing boats docked next to it at the marina. The aluminum frame was shiny and I loved the sound of the waves slapping against the hull.

  The bow was closed in with a railing and the roof above Jackson covered his driver’s chair and my passenger seat. The two bucket seats in the back swiveled around completely. And the massive twin engines meant it hadn’t taken us long to get to the middle of the lake.

  “I hadn’t planned on buying one this big, but when I saw it, I couldn’t pass it up.” Jackson looked adoringly around the boat.

  “I’m glad you didn’t.” Fishing next summer would be a blast. “How’s it going, Ryder?”

  “Good.” He nodded, staying focused on his fishing pole.

  “Are you excited to start school next week?”

  “I guess.”

  “You’ll get to be in my best friend’s English class. Her name is Leighton and she’s a teacher there. My dad teaches there too, but you won’t have him for a few years. He teaches high school science.”

  “If I’m still here by then,” he muttered.

  My eyes shot to Jackson. He was just as surprised by Ryder’s statement as I was. Why wouldn’t Ryder be here? Did he think Jackson would get rid of him?

  “Why don’t you set that pole in the holder?” Jackson asked.

  Ryder shook his head. “I got it.”

  “Just for a minute.” Jackson stood from his seat, striding to the back of the boat to help Ryder with the pole. Then he took the empty seat at the back. “Look kid, we gotta talk.”

  Ryder’s entire body tensed. “Are you getting rid of me?”

  “What? No.” Jackson put a hand on Ryder’s knee. “What did Mom tell you about me?”

  “Not much. Just that I had an older brother but he didn’t live with her.”

  “Because she dumped me. She took me to New York and left me with her sister. Except her sister didn’t want me so I went into foster care. Long story short, I jumped from home to home until high school. It sucked but I got to meet Hazel and Thea, which eventually led me here.”